One would expect that being the firstborn of a wealthy nobleman would be great fun, a life without a single worry along with a nice, large estate to inherit once dear papa leaves the mortal world.

Or so it should be, but in order for that to be true, Toris shouldn't have been born in a country where magic is stronger than human law, and where the rules of fairytales still abide. In this nameless land country that came alive only in old leather-bound library books and narrations of old grannies, fate was a thing set in stars from birth for everybody.

And so, because that was the order of things in this strange place, Toris' youngest brother Raivis was the first one to marry, barely fifteen when set foot into the world outside of their father's garden. He had a giant killed within a fortnight, one that was terrorizing at least four fairly large villages. The Princess' hand and half of a kingdom were the very welcome bonus to his heroic exploit, and he soon moved out to rule his own part of the Fairytale land, sending home letters every week just to spite his older brothers.

Things still weren't so dire as long as there were two sons left in the household; but three months ago, a sphinx appeared in the Eastern border of the country, and Eduard, Toris' second brother, was vain enough to think himself cleverer than her. Bad luck for the sphinx; because he indeed was, his wit and sharp tongue being praised since his birth. And lucky for Eduard, since the sphinx turned into a charming and attractive lady once her riddles were solved, and she invited her opponent to rule her own little kingdom on the Eastern border with her.

That left Toris alone at home, brooding about the meaning of life and generally being a bother, as his parents not-so-tactfully hinted on more than one occasion.

"Did you at least try to look for a suitable beast today, darling?" his mother would ask, and Toris nodded every time, his jaw hurting from how hard he was gritting his teeth.

"Yes, mother, I asked every traveller that crossed our grounds today, but nobody knows about any damsel in distress or general distress without damsels."

But just as Toris started to lose hope completely, he received a letter from Alfred, his pen-pal from behind the Great lake. Alfred was a young king, having found his pretty bride on the very first of his heroic voyages, but he still gathered news about beasts and creatures from all over the country as a hobby, albeit knowing his young wife would never allow him to leave home for more adventure.

Just imagine, a real dragon keeping a pretty princess captive, waiting for a knight to save her. Alfred wrote, his handwriting just as messy as it used to be before he started wearing a crown and red cloak. I'd love to go and save her myself, but Maddie threatened me with her rapier the last time I suggested another dragon hunt. I'm counting on you, my friend.

Which was why Toris was now crouching in overgrown grass, watching a cave opening for three hours straight, and why his knees were slowly growing so numb he couldn't feel his toes anymore.

Damn dragons and their irregular sleeping habits, who could have known they wouldn't wake up until noon.

It was well after two when finally something stirred in the blackness of the cave, and Toris was quite proud of himself for not jumping or making too much noise as it happened. Quietly setting an arrow into his trusted crossbow, his eyes didn't leave the cave, as now a figure was clearly approaching – and he nearly dropped the weapon as he realized it was the fair maiden who stepped out of the cage.

She had long, flaxen hair that looked a bit dishevelled in the afternoon sun, but otherwise she looked unharmed and cared for, her linen dress being pretty if a bit simple. She stood for a moment in front of the cave, shielding her eyes from the sun, until she stretched her arms above her head to pop her spine and walked in the direction of the forest.

Straight to where Toris was hiding.

He could hear his own heart thump in his eardrums but he bit his tongue in order not to cry out too soon, and waited patiently until she was within the reach of his loud whisper.

"Fair maiden, I am the knight that came to save you, I swear on my honour that I will get you away from this horrid place!"

She finally looked at him and Toris felt the bottom of his stomach fall somewhere on the overgrown grass. Her face was even prettier than how she appeared from a distance, with a little button nose and perfectly white, unblemished skin, yet her features were drawn into a tight scowl, somewhere between disdain and mistrust.

Toris wasn't a vain man and tended to be on the pessimistic side of life, but he still hoped for at least some sign of happiness his arrival would mean for the one he was supposed to save.

Speechless, he only managed to close his open jaw and smile amiably at the girl. Her eyebrows rose as if judging Toris' mental health, and then she turned around and shouted in a much more stronger voice than one would expect from a delicate creature like her.

"Hey, there is another one!"

And without as much as a second glance, she continued her way towards the forest edge. Toris faintly noticed she started collecting blackberries from the low shrubs on the forest border, but his eyes immediately cast back to the cave door, crossbow ready to shoot.

Nothing moved in his range of vision, but soon, his ears heard a loud thump from the direction of the cage, and then two male voices, arguing so loud he could tell them apart even from his hiding place.

But before he could start to recognize words in the quarrel, his breath hitched and his entire body froze on spot; for there was fire lashing from the opening, flames licking the grass overgrowing the stones on the top of the cave.

The crossbow slipped in his sweaty hands and Toris was afraid even to breathe. The fire stopped and then somebody coughed.

"Damn you, Arthur, do you really have to put on the show every time we have a visitor?" Toris could hear now quite clearly.

"It's what dragons do." said the other voice, which was quite unnecessary; said creature was already standing just in front of the cave.

If Toris weren't so deathly scared that he would be roasted in the next few minutes, he would have remained staring at the dragon just as he couldn't take his eyes off the fair maiden.

The massive body was covered in scarlet coloured scales that ran into buttery yellow on the round underbelly; it seemed well-fed. It had wings, but they were disappointingly short and small, the pale skin looking far too fragile to even attempt flying; batting away mosquitoes, maybe. The four legs the creature was standing on had frighteningly long black claws but appeared rather thin compared to the rest of the body, and the tail, currently resting heavily on the floor, was long and had a spade-formed end, looking entirely too poisonous to get too close to.

But the most shocking feature of the beast was how the spikes on its back – deep red, small and sharp stubs like on the tail – divided where the neck started, ending up in a set of two very different heads.

The one on the left had a shorter, sturdier neck and judging from the black smears on the mouth was the one who emitted the fire. Its round face appeared to be scowling, but maybe it was because of the two small frills that grew just above its eyes like a pair of reddish bat wings standing wake over the face.

The right head rested on a slender, longer neck and looked at the world with a much more haughtier, I'm-above-you expression, being well over the eye-level of most its opponents. It wasn't decorated by any frills but had long whiskers on its beard, more like red tassels curling on the ends. This head was also smiling, or at least showing off two sets of carnivorous teeth with the ends of the broad muzzle turned upwards.

Toris closed his eyes, imagining his youngest brother with his far-too-young, boyish figure facing a nine feet giant, hoping to gather some last shreds of courage. It didn't help, and so he swallowed the lump in his throat, opened his eyes and stepped forward.

"I'm here to save the fair maiden from your clutches!" he said, proud at how his voice wavered only a little.

The dragon – well the two heads – were both looking at him now, one with contempt, the other with amusement.

Then the amused one started to laugh.

"Arthur, when will you admit it was a stupid idea?" said the taller head, whiskers shaking in mirth.

Arthur head scowled some more, frills drawing together like obscure eyebrows over his face. "Should have done it yourself if you're oh-so-clever, Francis."

Here, Toris did the only logical thing he could do in a situation when faced with a large and obviously mad creature. He raised his crossbow to aim, barely breathing.

At least the Francis head stopped to laugh.

"Now now, young man, why so violent. Let us explain..."

"You aren't here to save the fair maiden." Arthur head said, and lifting his gaze to look in the direction of the forest, added "Well if you manage to solve the problem, Natalia will leave too, but it's not as if we would keep her here against her will."

"Damn right!"

Toris turned around as the voice sounded from behind him, and he saw the girl, Natalia, approaching from the forest, holding a little heap of berries in her apron. "My brother would have both your heads hanging above his fireplace if you'd try that."

That finally made Toris lower his crossbow and look with new despair at the dragon in front of him. "But the messengers clearly said there is a fair maiden to be saved from a dragon, what else am I supposed to do here?"

"The message should have said 'Knight needed to save a dragon'," Arthur head answered. Then the head turned to the side and spit on the ground, the place where it touched the soil staying black and smoking. "But who would ever want to save a dragon."

Toris watched the patch of burned earth absent-mindedly, brain trying to accommodate the new information. Then he turned hopelessly at Natalia who was standing at his side, and he probably looked very miserable in his confusion, because she sighed and started walking towards the cave.

"Come inside, and you two as well. The brave knight here probably needs a cup of tea before he can stomach the whole story."

"We are sorry it's a bit modest in here, it's not easy to equip a cave to fit decent standards." The Francis head said as Toris reached upwards to take a fragile looking porcelain cup from the dragon's short paws and sat back into the chair he was offered.

"No it's... surprisingly cosy here." he said, looking around. He never paid much thought to how dragon caves would look like on the inside but he definitely didn't expect any carpets, coffee tables, comfy chairs and most of all, fully equipped kitchens.

"We tried to move as much from our previous homes here but it's not always possible when you are doomed to live in a cave." Francis added, then nodded as he heard Arthur say "Biscuits" and the dragon moved towards the kitchen once more.

"So does this mean..." Toris turned to Natalia who just put down her berry juice spotted apron and seated herself in the other comfy chair.

"Yes, those two used to be humans. Powerful mages, both of them. This..." she pointed towards the fireplace where the dragon was currently reaching with both paws in different directions while the heads argued profusely, "is the result of an accident."

Toris watched how both men started to fight in earnest, short hands trying to smack each other without much success while the heads shouted profanities. It would have been quite funny were it not for the fact it was a dragon probably weighting a few tons.

"Accident." he repeated, unsure whether he wanted to know details, but Natalia plopped two sugar cubes into his own tea and explained matter-of-factly: "Apparently, this happens when you try to turn somebody into a frog while being... interconnected."

Toris shuddered and decided to not imagine whatever interconnected meant in this context, and asked instead: "And why are you here?"

"Where else should I be?" Natalia stirred her tea and took a delicate sip, pinkie finger outstretched. "I'm a princess, my brother is a king. How else am I supposed to find a husband than by abduction of a dangerous looking beast?"

Seeing Toris' uncertain look, she just shrugged. "I was pretty lucky there was a dragon close to my home, some of my friends have been looking for a suitable creature for ages now."

"But you said this dragon – those two men aren't keeping you here against your will, why do they need a maiden with them?"

"To break the spell."

Toris flinched as a clawed hand set a plate of biscuits in front of him and the Arthur head spoke again. "We tried every book both of us ever possessed, but the only way to reverse this sort of spell seems to be a kiss. So we need a fair maiden and a brave knight who could kiss her, then we would turn back to humans, end of story."

"And return to my pretty castle." Francis head sniffed in an over-dramatic voice and Natalia leaned to Toris, rolling her eyes as she said, "He's still bitter since he can't fit into his house and has to live in a cave."

Toris stayed silent for a moment, trying to process the confusing tangle of information he was just given. Sensing his distress, the Francis head leaned towards him and smiled, and he would probably pat Toris' shoulder if the dragon paw wasn't so short. "Don't worry about that now, we will let you stay overnight here, wouldn't want you to do your heroic deed after a long journey. We can try tomorrow, is that fine with you?"

Arthur head visibly scoffed.

"What!" Francis turned away from Toris, one of the short dragon hands propping itself on what was probably dragon hip. "Just because you are such a damn pessimist..."

"It didn't work in six cases already, Francis, don't you think I have a reason to be sceptic?"

"You said seven was the right number!"

"I said it might work this time, not that I'm positive about it."

"You awful man you! Why am I stuck with this terrible person in one body, what have I done!" Francis head asked the cave ceiling, one hand flying up in a theatrical gesture.

"Do you want a list of all the things you did to deserve this or..."

Here one of the dragon legs – the one on Francis' side – tried to stomp the other, a process in which the huge body almost toppled over as it lost half of its footing.

Toris scooted with his chair a few inches away from the by now again self-destructing dragon and turned to Natalia, who was munching on a biscuit, nonplussed.

"Do they do this often?"

"All the time." she answered. "If it weren't for Francis' cooking, I would have quit and searched for another beast long time ago."

Then, she added "Although I heard it was quite amusing at the beginning, as they were learning how to walk and both wanted to go in the other direction. Too bad I came here only later, must have been fun to watch."

At this, she smiled – the first smile Toris saw on her face, her cheeks rounding up and the sliver of her even teeth peeking from between her pink lips. And maybe it was just the candles that lighted the cave by now, but Natalia suddenly looked sweeter and prettier than any female Toris ever had the pleasure to know.

So what if I only managed to find the most idiotic of all dragons, Toris thought, so what if I will have to return home as the loser who I knew I was from the beginning. At least I get to kiss this beautiful girl.

Determined to take his chance before any of the parties thought otherwise, he called over at the fighting dragon to get the heads' attention. "I would like to try now!" he said, in a voice that (as he hoped) wouldn't leave any doubts.

Predictably, Arthur and Francis stopped fighting, and Natalia unconsciously wiped away the crumbs from her mouth, her face back to the sceptic default version.

Toris stood up and held his hand for Natalia who took it and stepped opposite to him. She closed her eyes – probably already used to this process after six attempts, and Toris took a moment to admire how her upturned nose gave her a nearly haughty expression, her lips now pressed into a thin line.

Slowly, he leaned forward and pecked those lips, then, growing bolder, kissed her once again.

He felt Natalia's hands grasp his elbows, something that made his insides melt into a pathetic formless lump, but before he could slide his own hands around her waist and pull her closer as he planned, she pushed him away.

"How is it?" She asked, looking with expectancy to where the dragon was standing the last time, and Toris looked too, albeit still feeling a bit dizzy from the heat.

It would be an exaggeration to say that the sight before him was surprising, as he didn't have enough self-esteem to assume his kiss would be in any way better or more special than the six before him. The dragon was still standing there, four reddish paws and yellow belly, two obnoxious heads who looked both miserable, albeit each of them in a different way.

"So much for the seventh try." Arthur said, looking bitterly to the side as if the cauldron with a ladle that rested in his field of vision was personally responsible for the current turn of events.

Francis sniffed and pulled his half of the dragon body towards the fireplace. "Let me go, I need my comfort cooking."

For once, the Arthur head obeyed, and Toris watched in surprise how the pots were soon bubbling with stew and something that looked like blackberry pudding. Apparently, the dragon could handle things well, once its heads didn't try to kill each other.

Then, suddenly, as if an unruly gear in his head finally clicked to its place, the realization dawned on him; he remembered how his own parents always quarrelled over the most stupid things and then would make up in this strange atmosphere of quiet understanding.

And he also realized, that this particular fairytale he just fell into wasn't the story about a brave knight who would save a fair maiden; it wasn't his and Natalia's story. It was the story written for two lovers that were unfortunately turned into an unsightly creature, and his face split into a smile, as he finally knew what the problem was.

"Hey, you were doing it wrong!" he called after the dragon, the two heads silently watching how one of the paws stirred the cauldron. The dragon turned around, steps slow and heavy, and even Natalia made a quiet curious sound from where she was reading a book at the coffee table.

"You were not supposed to let a young maiden be kissed by a knight – you have to kiss each other!"

"Bullshit!" said Arthur, smoke coming out from between his gritted teeth. "Bullshit and I refuse to listen to that."

Francis just laughed, amused and high-pitched. "Do you think two ugly muzzles mocking a kiss could help a doomed dragon like we now are? Don't be ridiculous."

Toris felt the good feeling leaving his body like water from a bathtub, as his grandiose idea was rejected; that's when he heard Natalia close her book with a slam.

"You two will kiss immediately," she said. "This is the first constructive idea I've heard in this cave in the last two months and you will better follow it!"

"But..."

"No buts, do you think I enjoy getting kissed by random strangers? You could do something productive for once and at least try his suggestion."

The two heads finally looked at each other, suddenly bashful even in their dragon form, as if the scales on their cheeks became even redder; Toris felt he should look away, this being a very intimate moment despite the fact it was two heads of a pudgy dragon kissing in front of him. And yet he couldn't help it and watched, biting on his own lower lip, how the two heads got closer until their muzzles touched, the angle awkward but definitely something that could be called a kiss.

Suddenly, the dragon, together with the cave started to grow blurry, as if Toris was watching the scene through tears. He looked away and blinked a few times to get rid of what he thought was his tiredness playing tricks on him, and when he looked back – the dragon had vanished.

Instead of it, two men were standing there, both with deep red and yellow cloaks over their shoulders that turned out to be blankets on further examination. Both were fair-haired and looked young, although Toris knew better than to judge age merely by physical appearance.

He was just starting to recognize the beard and eyebrows he noticed in the dragon faces as something tugged at his sleeve.

"We should go, they probably want some privacy." Natalia said in hushed voice and Toris let himself be pulled out of the cave into the night outside.

The last thing he saw as he looked back into the cage was Francis touching Arthur's face with trembling fingertips, as if afraid he would disappear into thin air, and then Arthur launching himself on Francis, pulling him into a crushing hug.

"So much for heroic exploits." Toris said quietly as he and Natalia settled onto a flat stone near the river, close enough to the cave to see the friendly yellow light through its door.

Natalia picked a dandelion, then a second one to start a flower crown. "Well look at me and my luck, now I have to find myself a new dragon. Two months and seven kisses from strangers for nothing."

Both fell quiet with only the river humming steadily in front of them, Natalia bending down to pick more dandelions. Only once the ring was finished did she let her hands rest in her lap and look at Toris from the side. "You know, that was really clever with the idea how to lift the spell."

"Thank you." Toris said, and then he gathered all the bravery he failed to show on that day, took a deep breath and asked: "Would you... would you marry me?"

Arthur and Francis showed up at their wedding and caused a huge uproar with their magical tricks, including a charmed wedding cake that danced polonaise and all the candles in the hall burning with blue flames. Their wedding wasn't wealthier or grander than those of Toris' brothers, but definitely the most unforgettable one.

It was how the two mages showed their gratitude and also wished the couple good luck; not that it would have been needed, for this was the good point about living in a fairytale world. For once you found your beloved one, you could be sure to have your happily ever after granted.