2010 – Missing Scene
Jack stood, watching Carter depart. He was seething. As her vehicle made the last turn and disappeared from sight, he turned grabbed his axe and lashed out viciously at the wood pile, venting anger and frustration on the hapless and uncaring logs.
After a time, the logs were split and neatly stacked, ready for winter use and Jack's initial flood of rage had ebbed and he was covered in sweat and panting. He carefully cleaned the axe, stowed it properly and dropped down into his outdoor lounge chair, head bent, hands gripping the short spikes of his damp hair.
It had been years since he'd seen her and still, just her presence had the power to undo him. He'd been rude and cruel, sarcastic and defensive. It had hurt like hell to see the disappointment in her eyes. How could it still hurt after all these years? How did she still have such power to touch him?
Jack gripped his hair tighter and ran his hands over his beard roughened cheeks.
She looked the same as always. Beautiful. The simplicity of her jeans and white top and jacket set fire racing along his veins. Hell, who was he kidding? Carter could wear sack cloth and ashes and he'd still think she was the most beautiful woman anywhere.
Jack groaned and scrubbed his face again. Why did she have to show up here? After all these years, he'd found a measure of peace at his cabin. He'd even managed to convince himself he was okay. It had taken him a long time to come to terms with their betrayal. He'd warned everyone. Everyone! And no one had listened. Their rejection had hurt, but none more than hers.
They'd fought bitterly about the Aschen. Jack had nothing upon which to base his misgivings about the alliance, but as the talks progressed, his misgivings turned to cold certainty that churned in his gut. The elusive sense that warned him of unseen danger buzzed constantly and no one listened.
In the end, even Carter had turned her back on him. She punctuated her rejection by beginning to date that Ambassador. Jack had resigned his commission and moved to his cabin, withdrawing from his friends and surrounding himself with the quiet isolation of his cabin. The alliance had been solidified. Carter had married her Ambassador and Jack had rejected all attempts by Daniel and Teal'c to maintain an even casual relationship.
Until now.
She was the last person he had ever expected to see at his cabin. The last he expected to see and the only one he wanted. He still wanted her. Still loved her and it was killing him.
Jack got up and began to pace. How could she come here now, after all this time, and just expect him to forgive her and jump to her request to help her? He'd spent years licking his wounds in his self-imposed isolation and just the sight of her had ripped open the fragile shell he'd constructed to protect the scars of rejection.
He knew why she had chosen to come, rather than send Daniel or Teal'c. He knew she knew he would have a harder time refusing her. It was unspoken between them. Their bond. She'd stomped and trampled on it and turned her back and walked away from him. She'd married another man and yet, the bond was still there. It would always be there. Nothing short of death would destroy it utterly.
The pain it had caused him had been almost as bad as losing Charlie. Almost. And it was only his experience in losing Charlie that had allowed him to survive Carter's betrayal. He'd tried to hate her. Oh, he'd tried. For a while he had succeeded, but in the end the pain of hating her hurt worse than loving her despite her rejection. The knowledge that he still loved her was bitter and Jack swallowed hard against the bile rising in his throat.
He sat again and dropped his head into his hands, going over again and again what she'd said. She wanted to change the timeline. She knew better than anyone what that would mean. All the years and her marriage to Joe erased. She knew and she was still determined to do it. They'd go back to the way they had been before they met the Aschen. SG-1 and battling the goa'uld. Earth wouldn't be safe, not by a long shot, but they wouldn't be slowly and systematically wiped out either.
He'd go back to being Colonel O'Neill and she'd again be his 2IC. They still wouldn't be together, but they wouldn't be apart either. Not like this. She wouldn't be married and maybe, maybe, one day . . .
Jack stopped himself from thinking too far down that road. That way lay madness. He'd gone down that train of thought too often in the past and he couldn't afford to do it now. If he was going to help her it couldn't be for that reason only. He was a selfish bastard, he knew, but there were more reasons for doing this than the off chance that one day he might have a chance with Sam.
Truth told, he'd been waiting for this, or something like it. This kind of opportunity to exact revenge on the Aschen. As far as Jack was concerned, they were the ultimate reason for his current state of affairs. He had known something was wrong, very wrong and though it had taken years, he was finally proved right. It was a hollow victory, but he felt a small sense of vindication.
Jack lifted his head suddenly, struck by the irony that he'd never gotten a dog because he'd been waiting for this moment. He'd been waiting for Sam to figure it out and come up with a plan to save them. It had taken her far longer than he would have liked, but he'd abandoned her as much as she'd turned her back on him. He'd forsaken the effort of convincing her that something was wrong. They'd failed each other all those years ago.
She'd come here seeking some measure of redemption and forgiveness and he'd thrown it in her face. He knew she wouldn't give up the attempt to change their history. The planet's history. Not his Major. Carter had a plan and she'd see it through with or without him. He couldn't abandon her this time.
A slow smile cracked Jack's features. He got up and prepared himself for his last mission with SG-1 – at least in this timeline.