Hya~ Anyway, my fan fic is supposed to be a sad and angst one….. Hope y'all like it, ja! Okhay, maybe I am getting' a bit creepy….
Anyway, hope y'all like it, anyway.
I don't own Bleach! 'Cuz if I did, HitsuKarin would've definitely been there!
_
Snow…
25TH December.
That hateful day.
That hateful moment.
That hateful memory.
He hated it.
He hated the day.
He hated the memory.
But, above all these things, he hated the snow, which was pretty ironic considering he was an 'Icy captain' and all.
Aah, the damn blizzard.
Hateful…
Toshiro Hitsugaya turned around the corner and skidded to a halt. He reluctantly opened his eyes, and looked at the whiteness of the ground surrounding him.
His teasel eyes looked at the plain land, which was unevenly covered with a beautiful, delicate…..
He scowled.
He hated that thing.
Surveying the ground, he fixated his eyes upon a Sakura tree, just a few metres away from a cliff.
Its dark bark stood out in the snow, its leafless branches grew from the trunk, as if dead.
Dead…..
Oh, the irony of it all.
Talk about placing a grave in front of a haunted looking dead tree, eh?
He, despite the fact that his body was already resistant to the coldness and the blizzard, tightened the muffler around him.
He held a packet, containing a Sherry bottle. Taking a heavy step, he adjusted the jacket around him. Striding towards the grave, he came to a stop.
Despite being himself he gave a half-hearted smile, his frown relaxing a bit.
"Hey" he muttered silently, and bent down to keep the bottle beside the gravestone "I brought Sherry for you. Hope you like it…" He slid his hands inside his coat pocket, breathing in heavily. "Here I am again…" he murmured after a few seconds of silence, and heavily sat down on the snow, keeping his legs apart.
He looked at the gravestone, reading the words engraved on it, and the re-reading it.
'May you rest in peace,
Upon the Heavens,
Let no one cloud your way,
For you may shine,
Shining your smile upon the others.
For this,
Let the Angle rest upon you,
Showering you,
Enshrouding you,
May you rest in peace
Upon the Heavens,
You will never be forgotten.
Our Dear….'
Toshiro murmured softly. He did not want to read the rest. Those two words which were engraved there, staring at him, crying for freedom…
Talk about being poetic, eh?
He squeezed open a wine bottle, and in a casual way drank a bit of it. In the past he hated these, but now it became more of a habit.
Exhaling, he closed his eyes….
There was one more reason why he hated Matsumoto Rangiku- It was the fact that she could invariably turn the tomboy Karin Kurosaki into a drunken Karin Kurosaki.
She was 16, for Heaven's sake! Alcohol was bad for her….. Couldn't his fukutaicho understand that?
And, as usual, his fukutaicho being highly drunk, could not transfer an equally drunk Karin back to the Living World.
So, Toshiro was the best choice, after Ichigo, but he was busy with Rukia, doing something.
Doing what? He had no idea; neither did he particularly want to know.
"Hnn? Tosh? Wassa?" he heard the drunken teen beside him say.
Rounding his arm around her waist, he supported her body weight onto his shoulder.
"Yes?"
"I…. I donsh wanna ga home."(I don't wanna go home) she replied, drunk. "I wanna go faaaaar awaaaay!" she got off his shoulder, gave a sloppy twirl, and fell down, but, luckily Toshiro caught her.
She faced her rescuer, her face just a few inches away from his.
Toshiro reddened.
To his happiness, she did not realize the reason for the current color of his face
"Why ish you fashe sho red?" she asked, pointing at his face, somewhat demandingly.
Toshiro searched for an excuse. How could a girl, a human nonetheless, make him so confused? "Well…. That's because…"
"Waaaa~ I dinsh wanna go home! Lessh go shomewher else, Tosh!" she held his hand and, pointing somewhere, she ran, with Toshiro tailing behind her.
After running about for God knows how long, with continuous tripping and detours, he had enough. Leaving his gigai in some corner of the street, he picked her up, bridal-style, and shun-poed away, with her giving the directions. There were detours, still.
He blamed Matsumoto for this.
"Wait!" she flapped her arms desperately.
Toshiro stopped, and turned to face thick and huge bushes. Something like a forest, you could say. And the fact that it was dark, made it look much more eerie.
"Is this the place?" Toshiro asked, before looking down at the human on his arms, or at least the woman he thought was there.
"Hey!Karin! Where are you?" He asked no one in particular. If she got lost, Ichigo would kill him….and no way in hell did he want that. Searching frantically, he heard something rustling.
There. In one of the bushes.
He literally thanked his Lucky Stars that the person inside that bush was the person he was looking for. How she got there so fast, was still unknown to him. Then again, he knew Karin well for her speed.
He crouched right in front of the bush. He looked strange, and the fact that he was taller and carrying a sword with himself, added more to the effect. He crawled, and after he felt leaves and twigs lacking above his head, he stood up. He looked around, and not finding her, he simply shrugged. He continued walking, his hand in his pockets. Looking at his surroundings, he realized that he was in a forest. But, how could a forest be in a town? He had no idea. But then again, this town had mysteries of its own, starting with Karin, of course.
Walking, he soon bumped into a familiar structure. Karin, he realized, feeling the slenderness of the body. And she was smiling. 'Cute. Kawaii.' When realization hit him, 'Woah. Did I just say she is cute?' shrugging the topic off his mind, he asked "Hey Karin? What are you smiling about?" he asked, in an 'unlike-Toshiro' way. He didn't particularly mind, though. He liked Karin, and he really did not have any qualms on talking so casually to her. Or asking about anything that was bothering her, even if that included something she did not want to spill out. He wasn't nosy, everybody knew, but, he had to admit- he deeply cared about her.
Reasons for why he liked her? First of all, she wasn't one of those superbly-ultra-shiny characters, with an extremely flirty smile. No. in fact, she was the opposite.
Secondly, despite her appearance, she had her charm.
Thirdly, she was not at all weak. Well, for a human, she was strong. She could probably take on a low level Hollow, something which would sent other humans scurrying away in fright. Of course, this could be done without a soccer ball.
Fourthly, she had a sense of humor, though an unusual one.
Fifth, and though he hated to admit the fact that that fact was the best one, Karin was Karin. And he loved that fact.
Slowly, he realized, she was probably one of the few people he felt comfortable with. He confronted all his problems to. And, this was something which he hated the most, was the fact that his icy composure would always melt in her presence.
He followed her glance, and realized that she was looking at a Sakura tree, just a few metres away from the cliff. She had that extremely warm smile plastered on her face, staring at the Sakura tree with a tender look in her dark gray eyes.
Unlike the Karin he knew. She was more of a grinning type. Not that he was complaining about the sudden change. She still managed to look beautiful.
His gaze followed her, and continued following till she sat under the tree, humming. "Hey Toshiro!" she suddenly called.
"Hnn?"
"Come and sit beside me!" she patted the grass just beside her, her beautiful gray eyes sparkling "My mom bought me here when I was young!" she smiled happily.
Toshiro couldn't help but smile back. 'She looks so cute!' he paused 'Woah. Two times in a day? Man, I am getting soft.' He sat beside her, nonetheless. He gave a quick glance at her heart-shaped face. She still had that soft smile in her face, her eyes sparkled with happiness. Her velvety soft hair blew along with the direction of the wind. Her skin was brighter, and didn't it look deliciously soft? He had this sudden urge to sink his teeth into that deep sweet flesh…
"Hnn?" she asked a skeptic frown on her face "Is something wrong with my face?"
Toshiro, realizing that he was staring at her , tore his eyes apart from her face to the grass beneath. "I…. er…. It's nothing…." He fumbled, reddening. As much as he hated to admit (Yes, I know. he hates to admit almost everything), these sudden emotions would thrust themselves into his life. He couldn't help but feel very annoyed. And the fact that Karin was WAY better at hiding her emotions made him feel as like a wimp.
"Hnn?" she teased, "I thought you were staring at me and having pervy thoughts"
"Kurosaki!" he abruptly screamed " I would never do something like that!"
"Sure you wouldn't!" she grinned "'M just joking!"
"Oh." Was all Toshiro could say.
An awkward silence fell between the two. At least 'awkward' for Toshiro, because his face was crimson red, even redder than the drunken version of Karin.
"Hey Toshiro?"
"Hnn?" he asked, trying to keep a calm exterior.
"What if I kissed you now?"
"Me? Wha- wha- what?" he stuttered. He jumped to his feet in embarrassment, before realizing, with a pang in his heart, that she was bluffing, "Oh. You're bluffing."
And that's when it happened. She pulled him by the collar, and gave him a small peck on his lips. Toshiro's eyes widened and he covered his face after the abrupt kiss. At this point he again thanked his lucky stars that it was night. Especially since he was blushing a lot.
Karin laughed, noticing the redness of his face. "That's the only one you are getting from me till I turn 18." She said blandly, not at all embarrassed "You should have looked at your face! It was HILARIOUS!" she pushed her head backwards, clutched her sides, and laughed.
"Hnn." Toshiro murmured.
Karin looked at the blushing Toshiro, before giving him a tiny peck on his cheek. "Let's get going. And don't tell Ichi-ni about this. He'll kill both you and me." She placed her hand on front of him.
It was Toshiro's time to laugh now, despite his state "You're right." He said, and reluctantly took her hand.
It was 22nd of December, then. Exactly after three days, she got killed. Killed by a Hollow. But he couldn't protect her. All he could do was stare at the blood stained body, her lifeless eyes staring at him, as she lay there.
He opened his eyes. Reminiscing about the past was useless, huh? But still, he liked replaying that little scene over and over again, playing it like a broken recorder.
"So much for you promise…." Toshiro murmured, before getting up, sighing, keeping the bottle beside the gravestone.
He turned around, tearing his eyes apart from the graveyard. Giving a heavy sigh, he said silently, looking down "I missed you…."
Expecting an answer, he waited.
Nothing happened.
Nothing could be heard, but the strong blizzard.
He chuckled.
How idiotic.
How childish.
Dead people could not speak, now could they?
Giving a half hearted smile, he walked away, pain whispering in his heart with each step.
He was not sure, he really wasn't.
But, despite the strong wind, he barely heard her whisper "I missed you too…"
He ignored it, and continued walking.
Talk about hallucinations, eh?
But, even so, his heart did not accept it.
The voice was so…beautiful, so enticing.
So melodious, like piano notes dancing on the keyboard, falling as light as a waterfall.
His heart skipped a beat.
He swiveled around, and without letting his heart think twice, he ran back.
Despite being in his gigai, he ran very fast. He let his mind shut down, and only allowed his body to work.
Reaching, he took in short breaths, trying to inhale properly. Standing straight, he tried to look at the grave. But, as if trying to mock him, a strong wind blocked his shut his eyes, and instantly regretted it.
What if….. What if, exactly at that moment, she turned out to be there, and he missed her?
What if….
He gritted his teeth.
He was really foolish, wasn't he?
He laughed at himself.
Swearing, he looked at the grave, almost as a reflex action, and then at the hazy figure standing beside it.
His eyes widened.
He couldn't believe it.
He couldn't believe himself, for right beside the headstone; she stood there, grinning at him.
She looked beautiful. Almost angelic.
A warm light emitted itself behind her. Her raven hair blew along with the wind direction. Her gray eyes looked so beautiful, staring at him happily.
Toshiro took a heavy step forward… then another… another… another, and soon he broke into a desperate run.
She was standing there, a few metres away from him, grinning at him.
He wanted to touch her, feel her, embrace her…
"Yo, Tosh!" he heard her say, cordially. She smiled, which was soon replaced by a frown.
Toshiro stopped.
Why was she frowning?
Did she not like the fact that he came to meet her?
Did she hate him?
Did she still dislike him for killing her?
It was sad, really sad.
Even after meeting her…
"Hmph." Her frown deepened "Why the heck can't you smile, Tosh?"
How could he smile? How did she expect him to smile?
Especially since she was… she was dead?
"Sheesh, Tosh. You're like a baby." She crossed her arms, and went forward. Sticking her index finger out, she tapped his forehead, trying to remove the frown. And believe Karin to know, his frown was very difficult to erase. Permanent, you could say. She laughed.
"You know, God hates me. Kicked me right back like a soccer ball." She laughed at her own private joke. "So here I am"
Toshiro was quite. What was he supposed to say? 'I'm glad to see you'? That was impossible. He was not 'glad', or 'happy' for that matter.
The feeling he was experiencing was guilt.
He stared at her longingly, as if wanting advice on something. Something. Anything.
"I'm sorry." he mumbled.
"What was that?"
"I'm sorry." He repeated, breaking down, falling on his knees. His face dropped in his palm, and started crying, streams of tears giving way to his sadness "I'm so sorry….. I….. I don't know what to do… I can't….. The Hollow…. If only….. If only I was stronger….. If only I was better….. I could have saved you….. There was blood…. Your blood…." He cried "I can't live with myself anymore….. I want to die…. But… that's impossible… I hate it….. I hate it."
The raven haired teen gave a smile, and slowly, bending, she caressed his face.
He looked up, his teasel eyes meeting her gray ones.
"Don't cry, Tosh. It was my fault for following you. At least I could see you before dying."
"But-"
He was cut short when she kissed him gently. It was not his first time kissing her, but, yet, he found it so beautiful. So pleasant.
Slowly retracting her lips, she said "See? I promised didn't I? After I turn 18 I will kiss you. Kurosakis never forget their promises."
Toshiro felt a new emotion grabbing hold of his heart.
Toshiro, after two years, gave a smile, a smile which he preferred locking inside his heart.
"Thankyou Kurosaki." He murmured, as her body slowly disappeared into flakes of snow.
"I love you." She grinned, slowly disappearing, leaving him alone with the white surrounding for company.
"I love you too." Toshiro murmured, and touched her hand before it disappeared, leaving him alone in the heartbreaking yet beautiful snow.
…X…
Liked it? Hated it? C'mon guys, tell me~
Oh, I wanted to kill Toshiro too, but thought twice. It would've got a bit too depressing, otherwise.
Anyway, please, PLEASE, review! And after I re-read it, it felt extremely detached. At least from my POV.
(Ps- Oh and some people might wonder why Toshiro's so sad about Karin's death, because, after all they could meet each other in Soul Society, anyway. It's because, according to the movie 'Memories of Nobody', people forget about the time when they were alive.)