This was originally a one-shot, but I split it in two. It is about Grub and his [bad] luck with girls. Just read it! R&R please! I won't post the next part unless I get a few reviews.

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Corporal Grub Kelp turned off the computer that stood in his tiny cubicle and sighed. Suspended, again? He couldn't believe it. Just because of a few measly complaint letters- well, all right, fifty compliant letters. Trubs is really going to pay now, he thought. Just wait till I tell Mummy.

At that moment, Major Holly Short walked by and stuck her head into the tiny space, "Hey, Corporal, you better get those e-forms in my office by the end of the day," she said, then grinned impishly, "Or I'll tell Lili Frond you're crushing on her. Only Frond knows why, but I'll still tell her. Anyways, I hear Trouble, er, your brother, er, Commander Kelp has you suspended again. What is this, the seventh time? You must have set some kind of record by now."

Grub protested indignantly, "No way- it's only my sixth! Besides, I'm going to complain to Mummy, and she'll make him reinstate me. And I'll have her take care of you, too, if you say anything to Lili!"

Of course, Corporeal Lili Frond chose to walk in, catching the tail end of the conversation. "Hey, Holly, oh, hi, Grub. I hear you got suspended again. Anyway, what weren't you going to tell me?"

Holly, though she loved teasing Grub, felt sorry for him and quickly replied, "Oh just something about the office pool that you're both in on. And, yes, he did get suspended. I heard it from Commander Kelp myself."

Lili answered, "Of course you would, seeing as you're living with him. I've got to go- Chix Verbil is insisting on taking me to lunch at the Underworld Café, yes, the best one in Haven. Good luck, Grub, you know, with the suspension and everything."

Waiting until Lili was far down the hallway, Grub sighed wistfully. "I wish I could get some girls. What throws them off? Maybe I really should move out of Mummy's house- oh no, then I'd have to do my own laundry and cooking, bad idea."

Holly winked and said, "You'll get 'em eventually, Grub. Remember to do those e-forms by five," and then left.

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The next part, in my opinion, is better. PLEASE R&R!! Thx!