Disclaimer: Cub would exist if I owned it.

A/N: I hope everyone enjoys this first chapter of the next journey in the Cub'verse. Also, a lot of people really wanted that mirror scene (you know the one) and I decided to revisit that.

It's something tight and uncomfortable - a knot in her chest. She's been here for hours, filing paperwork and at least there's that. At least the first day away from her twins is spent doing something mundane. But it's almost worse than a body drop. With a case, she'd stay busy. She wouldn't be sitting here twirling a pen between her fingers and tapping it incessantly against her desk just because she hasn't heard from Castle. No text or anything to let her know if things are okay or if it's turned into world war three in their living room. Nothing.

And she's text him. Twice. She's going to call. She'll end up grabbing her phone - she's already staring at it - and she'll press the speed dial, wait until he answers and if he doesn't then his voicemail is going to hear all about how she feels right now. Maybe she's being too dramatic about it. Maybe. But it's her first full day away from Ella and Charlotte, she's nervous.

It wasn't this bad with Cub - their little baby Wes. She'd spent the day worried and upset but not to this degree. He was just one baby and Castle raised Alexis but now her writer is at home with a toddler and twins that aren't even two months old. Three kids at the same time and she doesn't know if maybe he's in over his head. She feels like he is.

Or maybe she's the one who feels in over her head. Trying to keep things running smoothly between a toddler, a set of twins, a dog and a holiday coming up. It's a bit overwhelming. She hasn't had any time at all to herself to try and plan something for another Valentine's Day together. She feels a bit like a terrible wife and partner because it's tomorrow and she doesn't have any idea what's going on. No clue at all what she'll get him, no dinner reservations to surprise him with. Nothing. She forgot about it completely until a few days ago.

She's useless here. At work. There's nothing that keeps her focused and she's barely paying attention when she fills out the paperwork. She got the date wrong twice on the same form. And her eyes keep landing on her phone.

"You should just call." Her gaze snaps up to the two men staring at her, their faces understanding but just a bit smug.

"Javi's right. You'll never get anything done until you do."

"Maybe after lunch." She can wait. Just a little longer but the next words that leave her lips show how unsure she is. They aren't for the boys' benefit, they're for hers. She's trying to make herself believe it. "I'm sure everything is fine."

She doesn't care for the knowing look Esposito gives or the compassion that lingers in Ryan's eyes. He understands but he remains quiet, doesn't say anything and she's thankful for that. She takes a breath, set on returning to her work when Espo gives a half-quirk of his lips.

"When are you bringing my buddies to visit?"

"Your buddies?" He shrugs a shoulder and she shakes her head. For someone she pegged as being completely stoic and unaffected by children, he's a giant softie when it comes to Wes and the two tiny girls. "We brought them a few weeks ago. It's winter, I don't like taking them out much."

She doesn't. Not even when they're all bundled up. She worries about Cash more than Peanut when it comes to one of them getting sick or having some kind of complication. Their Charlotte - the silent baby. She's still quiet, doesn't cry much and then there's Ella. The loud, obnoxious baby who wails as soon as she wants something or is unhappy. Yeah, Kate's sure her writer has his hands full today and with a resigned sigh, she stops glancing at her phone and tries to focus. He'll answer when he has the time. And he does.

It's loud and it's late. She knows why it took him so long to reply before she ever slides her key in the lock and twists her wrist to open the door. It's the sound of a toddler jabbering at the top of his lungs accompanied by a sharp piercing cry and the whine of a dog. A very unhappy sounding baby. It sounds like Charlie, but she isn't positive until she steps into the loft. Sees the dark haired tiny baby in Castle's arms, face scrunched in displeasure and lip quivering. Even though her girls are identical she knows that's Charlotte. Even though she dressed them in the same red footie pajamas with pink and white hearts, she knows the unhappy squall is coming from none other than her usually quiet little Cash.

And judging by the dalmatian hunkered beneath the coffee table, she'd guess the little one just started. Boomer may hate loud noise but after a few minutes, he always comes out to check on the babies. Sniff at them to make sure they aren't broken or something. It's rather amusing.

As soon as she's locked away her gun, she's stepping into Castle's space, reaching for her little girl with an apologetic smile. It's way passed bed time for all three of their little monkeys and she feels like this is her fault. She's been gone too long today, courtesy of a last minute body drop and a few errands she had to run before finally coming home.

"Hey, sorry I'm so late." Not an ideal first day back but Castle doesn't say anything, just shrugs a shoulder and passes over their unhappy daughter. She cradles her, rubs a hand over her head as she tries to soothe her cries into whimpers. "Shhh, s'okay Cash. Momma's here."

"How'd you know this one is Charlie?" The question tumbles between them, a rush of uncertainty lacing the words and she steps back, quirks an eyebrow as a knot tightens around her heart.

He's frazzled, hair a mess and normally she'd find it sexy but right now she's feeling something a little different than arousal. She wants to look down at their baby, watch as she settles and yawns but her eyes are glued to his. The shame shining bright within the blue and she realizes why he didn't answer her back until this afternoon.

"Castle,"

"I -"

"You didn't know which one was which, did you?" It's hard to swallow. And just by looking at him, she can tell he's upset too. "See, this is why I didn't want to go back to work yet."

"Kate, come on, that's not fair."

"Really? You don't even know your own kids." She isn't looking at him, doesn't see the hurt her words cause but she regrets them as soon as she says them. Stepping around him to take a seat on the couch, her son already climbing up next to her and Charlotte blinking calmly. "I didn't mean that..."

"You did."

"No, I - they're identical, Castle. It's bound to happen sometimes, especially since they're so small. I really didn't mean it." She didn't because she's terrified of doing the very same thing, mixing them up and not knowing. That's the thing. She's upset by it, a little amused too but she really didn't mean to make him feel worse than he already does. "It's late, I'm tired and cranky, let's just ignore anything that comes out of my mouth."

He's staring at her, she can feel it but she keeps her gaze locked with her baby girl's, the bright curious eyes. The way she opens her mouth, shoves her fist into it. Sucking loudly at her own skin. It breaks the tension, brings a smile to the detective's face and when she finally looks up to find her husband, he's sitting across from her with the dog at his feet.

"I'm sorry. I wanted to be here for dinner but we got a case and it's a messy one."

"S'okay, Cub wanted to stay awake to see you and Charlie just woke up a few minutes ago, Ella is still asleep." Kate gives him a nod, understanding that the boy pressing into her side, wrapping his fingers around her hand, wouldn't sleep until he'd seen her for the night.

She's not going to say anything about the fact that he should've been in bed almost three hours ago. Not when he's rubbing at his eyes, leaning his head into her shoulder. She just presses a kiss to his hair, wrapping her free arm around him and cuddling a little closer to both of her babies. The smiling little girl pressing into her and the tired little boy yawning at her side.

Charlie's smile fades quickly around her fist, determination settling over her brow and Kate knows that look, understands before the tiny one ever abandons her own fingers and starts to nuzzle at her chest. And honestly, she's breathing a sigh of pure relief. It's been way too many hours and part of her mood can be attributed to the swollen tenderness of her breasts. The ache and discomfort.

She's already reaching to unbutton her shirt, Wes protesting the removal of her arm from around him as she slips the first couple of buttons through the holes. The moment she catches the smirk on Castle's face, she knows they're okay. No lasting damage.

"She's hungry."

"My favorite part of the day, when you drop your top." Her fingers still, her eyebrows raising but she's smiling at him, reaching for the pillow at her side. He doesn't see it coming, the way she flings it at him, smacking him right in the face. Causing Cub to burst into a fit of giggles that have him hunching over, pointing at his Daddy and laughing even harder. "Was that necessary?"

"It was. There are children in the room." She winks at him. A promise of more as he pushes himself up from the chair.

"I'll get Ella."

"Thank you." As soon as he's up the stairs, she's tugging her shirt out of the way, settling Charlie on the side she's claimed as hers. The little one already getting excited. Her mouth trying to find purchase against the cotton. "Patience Charlotte."

"Momma," Her boy still full of giggles leans in closer, puts his hand on his sister's head. Kate loves him, loves that he's trying to help as she pulls the last barrier out of the way.

"You're the best big brother, Cub." He nods. Even though she's pretty sure he doesn't fully understand. He's still smiling at her, his hand over Charlie's ear as she latches on, wiggling to get comfortable. Little moments like these, her son petting his little sister's head and her daughter's nose pressing into her chest, nuzzling, eyes wide open, it's these moments that she misses the most when she's at work.

The way her baby clenches her tiny fingers, the sound of a gulp as she greedily tries to fill her stomach. It has Kate stifling a laugh, eyes lifting when Castle appears at her side, a yawning whimpering Ella in his arms. She tries to adjust, stretching her legs along the length of the couch, careful not to squish Wes into the cushion. She needs the space though, easing Charlotte at an angle to let Castle settle Ella into her arm.

She catches his smirk when he's the one to ease the cup of her bra down, the thumb that brushes along the skin he uncovers sending goosebumps racing along her flesh and she rolls her eyes, tilts her head towards him as he helps support Ella. He's so focused on their little girls, not even paying attention until she whispers his name. Rick. And then he's looking at her, seeing what she's wanting and he closes the distance, pushes his mouth into hers until a little hand pushes at his jaw, and their son interrupts with a giggle.

"Alright little Cub, time to leave Momma alone."

"No!" His new favorite word that's accompanied with a severe shake of his head. A pout already forming on his lips when Castle lifts him from the couch. "Momma!"

"Hey, shh, it's time to sleep little man." Not even the velvet calm of her voice or her words are enough to stop him from wiggling, trying to squirm his way back to her even as his father carries him over to the chair, cradles him against his chest as if he's still an infant. She watches the struggle, knows their son is too tired but after several minutes of trying to climb down only to be thwarted in his mission by the arms holding him, he sighs, drops his head to his father's shoulder. Kate leans back into the arm of the couch with a smile playing at her lips.

Stubborn little boy. She glances over every few seconds, watches his eyes droop with every stroke over his back by Castle's hand but he doesn't give in. Even when she stops looking and stares down at the two girls in her arms. Ella is the first to fall asleep, maybe fifteen minutes and her head is falling back into the crook of Kate's elbow, mouth open and eyes closed. She sleeps like her father.

"Our Ella must be tired."

"She's not the only one." And it's the tone he uses that has her heart swelling in her chest. He's admitting that the day has taken its toll on each of them. Cub tiredly babbling, Ella already breathing deeply, and Charlie still staring with wide beautiful eyes. At least one of their kids is still alert.

"Were they okay today? You didn't have too much trouble, did you?"

"No. We were fine, for the most part. Besides the whole not being sure - why did you dress them the same?"

"I thought it was adorable. Tomorrow is -"

"Valentine's Day, I know." She'll be a bit more careful next time. Maybe put bows in their hair, different colors or something. "I'm gonna take this one up to bed, I'll be back down in a few minutes. Warm you up something to eat."

"I'm not that hungry." It's an argument that falls on deaf ears, he won't listen. She knows he won't but she really doesn't want to move, doesn't want to give up the babies in her arms. He pretends he doesn't hear her, standing with a cuddly Wes in his arms but she knows it isn't going to be that easy and the second their boy realizes what's happening, his head starts shaking, arms reaching for her.

"Momma!"

"Baby, I'll be here when you wake up. You need to go to sleep." His lip is already trembling, eyes watering and Kate kisses his cheek when Castle leans down to let her tell him goodnight. She carefully maneuvers Ella to rest against her knees, reaching up to ruffle her son's hair. "I love you, little Cub."

"My. My." It's another word he's learned and it took Kate almost a week to realize he means 'mine' but his mouth doesn't form the full word yet. He tries though. "My."

She looks up at him, his hands reaching, fingers wiggling and she realizes he's not wanting her at all. At least, not anymore. His eyes have moved to rest over his sleeping sister, darting up to the hungry one still nursing. He wants them and she catches her writer's gaze, gives him a nod. He kneels, lets Cub press his mouth to Ella's head, her nose scrunching and a sigh leaving her lips but her eyes never open.

"My." Her heart bursts every single time she sees him like this. So loving and in awe of the tiny little beings that are his sisters. His Lala and Lee. He pats Cash on the back, nose bumping into her ear as he sloppily kisses her. She whimpers for a brief second, pulling back to frown before she decides it isn't worth crying over and Kate wonders if this is how kids normally react to siblings. She wouldn't know. Something tells her that their Cub is going to be a softie because she's pretty sure most seventeen month old's aren't quite this sweet.

He looks up at her, whispering 'my' over and over. She can tell he's getting upset, brow pinching together as he looks at the stairs, pointing, and then back down at his sisters.

"I think he wants to take them with us." Castle's right, she knows he is when something hopeful catches fire in her son's eyes.

"Oh Cub, no. Charlie's still hungry and they can't sleep in your bed."

"Momma" It's a whimper, enough of one to break her heart and form a knot in her throat as she watches her husband carry their son away. Tears already slipping down his cheeks. He doesn't understand and she really wishes he did. It wouldn't be so hard to tell him 'no' if he could fully comprehend why the twins can't sleep with him.

"Just you and me, Charlie." The baby coos, smiling up at her and she strokes a thumb over her cheek. The smooth skin like silk beneath her touch, Charlotte kicking her legs and Ella sleeping quietly. The roles reversed for the moment. "You're a hungry little thing. Doesn't Daddy feed you?"

Her only reply is the way her daughter nuzzles closer and the press of a cold wet nose against her arm. Boomer deciding to join their conversation, his blue eyes wide and questioning.

"Hey there, Booms. You made sure Daddy fed the babies, right?" She doesn't know how or why but the dog has become an integral part of their family. Even when he's snoring loudly in the middle of the floor or stealing cheese puffs from Wes, he's still one of the best spontaneous decisions she's ever made. "I bet you need to go outside."

His tails thumps against the floor, his mouth opening and tongue flopping out. Their ungraceful, clumsy, scared of everything dog. He's a mess and he fits in. Even now as he sniffs at Ella sleeping on her thighs, his nose pushing into her cheek, tongue darting out to lick her face, sliding over her nose and making her fuss for a brief second, he somehow just fits here. She can't imagine any of this without him around.

"Booms!" Before Kate can even begin to scold him, he's walked away and already curling up beneath the coffee table. It takes her a minute, watching as Ella turns her head, and then she's chuckling. They have the weirdest dog.

She adjusts her shirt, fixing herself as she lifts Charlie to her shoulder. It takes a bit of skill, to fix her bra and tug her shirt around her without jostling either baby too much but she manages. Her hand patting against Cash's back, the little one already snuggling into her neck. The baby's breath warm against her skin and tiny fingers curling at her collarbone.

"I missed you." It's a whisper into soft fine hair. A promise of love. "And Ella and Wes. I guess I kinda missed your Daddy too..."

"I heard that." She doesn't care, smiles at him when he lifts the sleeping baby from her lap. "Looks like I missed the rest of 'Cops Gone Wild'."

She laughs, can't stop it from bubbling out as his eyes skim over her half opened shirt.

"You're a pervert." He doesn't deny it, doesn't try just leans in to kiss her cheek, cuddling Ella into his shoulder and she catches the way he nuzzles their daughter.

The same love shining in his eyes when he looks at any of their kids. It settles warm in her abdomen, a rush of heat that races through her veins and she's reminded as she kisses Charlotte's head, him doing the same to Ella Jo, that it's been way too long since they've touched. Anything more than the brush of lips, hands and arms as they pass a toddler and babies back and forth. She bites her lip, eyes darkening and meeting his. Finding the words that will have him rushing through their night.

"Maybe I'll give you a private show after these two are in bed."

She almost falls asleep waiting on him, her clothes already stripped away. The bed is soft, her exhaustion creeping in but then she hears him, catches the click as he locks the door and she's smiling. Not opening her eyes but still smiling and waiting. Listening as he peels out of the fabric keeping them apart. Feeling the bed dip and the heat of his skin as he settles over her, mouth landing beneath her eye, legs tangling with hers.

"Hey," She breathes it into him. Catches his mouth with her own when he tries to pull back. A lazy meeting. Soft and open. His hands already set on exploring her skin as she tilts her head, lets his teeth graze over her chin, down her neck. "Eager for that private show, I see."

He bites into her shoulder, a nip of retaliation for her teasing words - the slide of her toes along the back of his calf. But it's the first touch of his fingers against her stomach that has her shivering, pushing them away, wishing he wouldn't go there. He catches her hand with his, twines them together and becomes something soft against her. Body melting into hers and kisses becoming nothing more than the press of his lips to her skin.

"Kate," She should've known he isn't going to just let it go. That he doesn't notice her hesitating. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Lies. And when he places his palm against her middle, she knows she flinches, knows that he realizes exactly what's going on. He pushes up from the bed, leaving her and she closes her eyes, wills herself to stop being an idiot.

He's grabbing her hand, pulling her up before she can protest, dragging her through their bedroom and then pushing her into the bathroom with gentle hands on her hips. She doesn't understand. And then he's flipping on the light, making her face the mirror and she does.

"Castle,"

"No. Apparently we need to revisit all the things I love now that you're no longer carrying our daughters." She sighs, leans back into his chest, not even making a remark about them both being nude. It won't stop him.

"No, it's not that I don't -"

"If you're uncomfortable, then I obviously haven't made myself clear."

"You have. I know you love me, and you adore our kids and it has nothing to do with that Castle, it's just..." She doesn't know how to say it. How to put into words that she's just vain enough to be upset over the marks in her skin, the softness that lingers around her stomach.

"Then I don't understand because you can't even tell you had twins Kate, you can't even tell you've had a baby at all."

"I have stretchmarks. Those are proof." He traces over the most prominent one, the longest, his fingers soft and tickling against her skin. Warm as his mouth presses to her shoulder. She watches their reflections. Watches as he skims up to the scar along her ribs.

"You know how much I love this, right?"

"I might remember you saying something about it being beautiful."

"It saved your life, Kate." She knows that and she knows everything he's going to say, every touch he'll make from the round puckering between her breasts to the full weight of them in his hands. The way he touches like he's savoring and she already knows all of it. The way his palms caress, sliding down her sides, smoothing over her stomach, thumb dipping into her navel. "And this, you kept our children safe."

"Castle, you've already done this."

"Then think of this as a refresher." She stops grumbling accepts that she won't be able to keep him from continuing. So she smiles a little and relaxes into him. She recalls the way their last date with the mirror ended and she's more than just hopeful that this one will go about the same. Or maybe a little differently. It'd be easy to just lean forward, hold onto the counter - forget everything but the way he feels pressing into her. "Everything about you is sexy."

And it actually does make her feel better when he does this. When his voice is low and husky in her ear, hands ghosting and gliding over her bare body, one slipping back around to playfully squeeze her ass, his thumb tracing the mark there.

"I think this one is my favorite."

"Of course it is." But she's smiling, watching his eyes darken in the mirror, laughing at him for the way he nips her neck. "Only you, Castle. Only you would love that I ended up with a stretchmark across my ass."

"I love you. And everything that includes. Your stubbornness, how you get tired and cranky when a case doesn't go the way you want it to, the way you love our kids, the fact that you've had my kids. All of it. And I'm saying this now, so listen up,"

She sighs, closes her eyes when his fingers slip south. His voice echoing in her ear and his breath hot on her skin.

"I think you're sexier now than ever before." And that does it. Steals a moan from her lungs and has her pushing her hips back into him. The mood fully returning, the fire lighting in her blood and the haze of arousal dancing in her eyes when she opens them, meets his gaze in the mirror. "How 'bout we go back to bed?"

She spins into him, hands at his chest and pushing up on her toes to hover near his mouth.

"No." She kisses him, a tease of her lips as she steps back into the counter, reveling in the way he follows. "Here."

She wakes to the smell of coffee, tempting and delicious. Pulling her into consciousness and making her open her eyes to the light flooding into the room. And the sound of little feet that has her turning, watching as her son toddles towards her, his father lingering right behind with a baby in each arm and a cup of coffee dangling carefully from one hand. Two different outfits today. One pink and one green, both girls wide awake.

"Morning, we thought you might want a little family time before work."

"You thought right." She reaches for Cub, grabbing at him as he tries to climb up on the bed without using his hands. Something folded in them. She takes it as soon as he settles at her side. Him in his Finding Nemo pajamas that he just has to wear every single night. It's a recent thing that she hopes he'll outgrow. "What is this?"

"We made you a card...again. But this time, the girls helped." It's ridiculous. They're not even two months old but she nods, as if she believes him, widens her eyes and opens her mouth in surprise for their son's benefit when she sees the intricately drawn heart on the front of the pink paper.

"Oh Wes! Did you draw this all by yourself?" Castle winks at her, perches himself on the edge of the bed and hands her the coffee as Cub chatters on about his creation. She steals a sip before sitting it on the nightstand so she can open the card. As soon as she does glitter spills out, sticking to the sheets and the shirt she's wearing.

It's not her shirt so she doesn't mind all that much but she still quirks an eyebrow in her husband's direction. Tries not to let the fact that Ella is chewing on his finger distract her but it's too cute.

"Ella Jo got a little carried away with the glitter." It has her lips spreading, splitting open until she's smiling bright enough that her cheeks will start to hurt if she keeps it up.

"Oh. I bet she did."

"Momma."

"I love it Cub, you did good." He beams at her, teeth showing and eyes squinting as she pulls him into her lap, lets him snuggle in her arms. "No cute little message inside?"

"This one is strictly from the kids. You gotta wait for mine."

"Good. Because you have to wait too." She doesn't want him to know that she's been so worked up over going back to work and handling three kids that she almost forgot. "But, uh, yours won't be done for a few days."

"What is it?"

"You know I'm not going to tell you." She won't. Not even when he rests Ella on her knees or when he presses a kiss to her lips, loving and soft. Questioning and devious. She'll also never reveal that she didn't even order it until yesterday when she was getting lunch. "I gotta go soon."

"Enjoy some time with the munchkins first." And she does. She plays with Wes, tickling him until he's pushing at her hands and yelling 'Momma'. And she makes faces at her babies, Cub joining in and giggling when Ella starts scrunching her nose and Charlotte purses her lips. She lives for this now. Seeing her family, spending time with them. Even when the dog bounces up on the bed to join and she's shaking her head at Castle for letting him.

This is how she spends her Valentine's morning. Accepting snuggles from her son, spending time with her daughters, making sure they're both fed and clean before she has to leave. And when she's tripping over her own feet, trying to hop to the door while pulling on a pair of heels, she sees the envelope on top of the safe that her gun is locked inside.

Her name written on the front. Her full name. Katherine Houghton Castle and she knows that it's her gift. That he wanted her to find it on her way out the door while he's busy strapping babies into bouncers with Wes trying to help. She catches his eye as she slips her thumb inside, prying it open and pulling the contents out.

A reservation card inside. She reads it, lets it sink in and she's doubling back to give him just one more kiss before she has to go because he really is the best husband she could've ever asked for. When she has her arms around his neck, mouth against his, she smiles and sets the words free.

"You got us a couple's spa date?"

"Thought you might like it. Happy Valentine's Day." She lets him steal one last kiss before she has to go. "I'll call you later. Around nap-time."

"Sounds good." And as soon as she's out the door, she's back to being Detective. No longer 'Momma' or 'Kate', she's back to being a cop. But it isn't the same as it used to be. Because she's Detective Castle. And every time she says it, she's reminded of the family she has waiting for her at home.

a/n: You'll find out what Kate's gift was in the next chapter. ;)