The Sword Of Eternal Flame
Chapter 1 : Beginnings
`Come on Shreck` yelled Donkey from inside the cave.
`Um, I`m afraid of dark, creepy places which may contain bats and other frightening creatures like snakes and mice` tittered Shreck nervously.
`I eat mice for dinner` proclaimed Puss proudly. `Are you a brave, noble ogre, or a big lump of green fat? `
Shreck glared profoundly at Puss.
`And besides, we`re here to rescue your wife Fiona. She must be locked up somewhere and guarded by Prince Charming`s henchmen. What would she think if she knew that her beloved ogre husband trembled at the mention of a bat?`
Shreck took long, decisive steps into the cave, keeping his head straight and looking as dignified as he could.
`According to the pig monk we talked to earlier, we are battling not only Prince Charming and his henchmen, but it seems some new type of Evil has entered our World and seeks to take control of it. In order to battle this great `Beast-`
Donkey interrupted `Is it an `Evil `or a `Beast`?`
Puss, keeping his patience replied `In order to battle this great Evil, we must-
`Wait, isn`t it a beast`, replied Shreck, looking confused.
His temper flaring, Puss replied, "In order to battle this great `call it whatever you like`, we must collect the 20 sacred gems of eternity and the sword of flame. Then we must go to the Altar of Destiny and put the swords and gemstones on the Altar."
"Right. You have an ogre with ya, so It's a piece of cake." Shrek grinned, grabbing Donkey who happened to be near him and began scratching his head.
"Can you drop the Scottish accent?" Puss sighed. "We both know you're not Scottish" Puss imitated his friend's speech."
"Different actor?" Suggested Shrek.
"Better hope the guy writing this story doesn't give you a British accent or I'm gonna bite his noggin." Puss folded his arms.
"Haha, Puss….woah my voice changed." Shrek said, voicing confusion.
"You know while we're at it, I'd like it if our donkey could actually pull some weight. And by that I mean, make him swear to carry our burdens." Puss explained.
"No I don't want a freaking Lydia!" Puss fumed indignantly.
And just like that, the forces of the world responded to the need of our gallant trio, and as Donkey was soon to discover-
"Woooah, woah, woah." Donkey shouted out to the others.
"What's up, Donkey?" Asked Shrek as he turned around to feast his eyes on the harnesses that they must have missed coming in.
"Behold! The fabled harness of Zhoron the lightning steed himself. Said to give its wearer the ability to sprint for thousands of miles without tiring."
"Oh…my…God!" Donkey squealed with excitement, jumping up and down. "Put it on me, put put on me now, right now, hurry.
As Donkey lapsed into a couple of right nows, Shrek slapped his donkey friend on the hand. "I mean it's just a rusty harness…"
"It' . . " Pussy drew out as slowly as possible, his teeth gnashing together as he drew the steely sound and directed it towards the idiot ogre.
"Oh my God! It's the fabled harness of Zhoron!"
"Donkey!" Shrek plucked the exuberant donkey up into his arms, threatening to choke the miserable creature as he squeezed the excitement out of him.
Donkey began to frantically trash in his arms. He was not ready to go just yet, he thought. "G-Guh harder daddy."
"What?"
"What?"
Shrek glared at the miserable creature as he realized that the donkey, tongue lolling out of his mouth, and wheezing for breath, eyes glinting mirthfully was taking the piss. Shrek put the harness on the donkey with gentleness extraordinaire, donkey threatening to bite the ogre.
Puss watched the ordeal from a distance, smiling and shaking his head all the while.
"Are you done with the foreplay?" Puss smiled devilishly at the two.
"Just a little…wait you're speaking metaphorically right?" Shrek glared at the cat.
Puss beamed at the ogre.
"I mean your fashion sense throws me off." Shrek explained as he struggled with the last bit of the harness.
"Without further ado!" The cat pronounced, brandishing his sword for greater effect. We shall depart on this glorious quest that will span eons. Throughout, we shall encounter dragons, ghosts, evil fairies, and hopefully mice. Our courage, our mettle, our very soul will be tested, as we strive against all odds-
Finished with the harness, Shrek and Donkey began walking out of the cave while the cat was going about his own business.
"And at the end of it all, we shall find that our limits are but one barrier and we have crashed through all of those barriers, and have found our true…strength. Huh"
Puss slowly looked around the cave, his friends all but gone for the trails of dust they left behind.
"Hey, wait for me!" He shouted as he rushed out to join the others.