Dear Darling. No. I can't say that.
My love. Not either.
Sweetheart. No, again.
Regina.
I still don't get why it's easier to write it down on paper to tell you. It should have been easy to tell you, but I'm so afraid of your reaction, if I do. Because I know you won't like what I have to say.You won't like me talking to you like that, and blurting it out so unpersonally, so undirectly, through words on paper. But it's the only way I found to do it.
And I can't keep it bottled up anymore. I know you'll be angry to read this when you'll find that letter. I know you so well.
But bear with me, and then, if you can, forget it, okay? I'm selfish that way. I feel like I need to share my burden with you, and I don't even think I'm sorry about it.
We've been friends for a while. And I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop. I've always been an orphan, left behind and discarded when I wasn't useful anymore. I've never had real friends like you. Well. Never had someone like you in my life.
I like Killian. But I like him for the wrong reasons. I like him because he wants me. And that's something I'm not used to, being wanted. So what, if I play pretend? Who can blame me?
I know that you'll find your happiness - with Robin, with Maleficent, maybe, (yes, I know about that.) And I'll just be a distant memory.But what about all the 'what could have been'?
I still don't understand why you didn't gave me my chance. And my heart aches still after all this time. After all the times I said I was over it. Because I'm not. I'm still in love with you.
That's an idiot and selfish thing to say. I know. I know you don't. And it kills me. I don't understand in what ways I'm wrong for you.
I also know you might try to take the blame on your shoulders, but it isn't your fault. There must be something wrong with me. I wish I knew, so I could change it and be yours.
I know it won't happen.And it doesn't... Shouldn't matter.
I wish to you only the best. And I hope you'll get it, even if it's not from me.
Just know I'll keep loving you, in silence. And I'll be there if one day you decide to take a chance on me.
Your idiot,
Emma