Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters.
I looked down and pulled at my bow tie, urgh, this get-up was ridiculous. The wind was cod and harsh and the rain poured down heavily. Suited my mood. I can't help staring at the church where I said goodbye to my best friend, the church where I'd marry my fiancé. He isn't the love of my life, but he'll do. He looks after me. But so did Sherlock. No John, don't think about him, he's gone and you're starting your new life with David. How are you meant to spend your life with David while you still loved Sherlock? No, I don't love Sherlock, I love David. David helped me get over my friends suicide.
I should probably get back to the church; people will start wondering where I am. No, I've got to say goodbye to my old life first. His grave always has flowers on it-Mycroft trying to ease his guilt. I walked up to the headstone and place my hand on it. "So." My own voice surprises me... "Here we are Sherlock. This is... this is the last time I'm going to visit you. I'm starting again with David." I don't know why I was telling him this. "You wouldn't like David. Well, you don't really like anyone do you?" Humour with a dead man, classy.
"I guess this is goodbye... I don't really know what to say. No words really describe how much you mean to me. I guess you are everything to me and no one can fill the hole you left." Tears fill my eyes, I don't know why I'm crying.
"I should probably go now. I have to go to my wedding..." I can't tell if it's tears running down my cheeks or the rain. "So, I guess I'll be seeing you." I finally lifted my hand off. I'm letting go.
Turning away is possibly the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Apart from declaring my love to another man. What is that noise? Is someone there, did they hear what I said?! "Hi." Says a deep voice behind me. No. I know that voice.
"You finally decided to show up then?" That's all I can think of to reply.
"Yeah." The voice simply replies.
Finally managed to turn myself around to face him. "Didn't think to bring an umbrella then?" My attempts to be witty always fail.
"Sorry." I can't work out what he was apologising for, not bringing an umbrella or pretending to be dead and making my life hell for the past three years.
All I could do was shrug.
"What are you all dressed up for?" Oh, like he hadn't heard what I'd said.
"Nothing special." I don't know why I'm not angry at him. He just nodded. Asshole. But my favourite asshole.
"So, did you miss me?" Of course I did you twat. Dickhead, asshole, I hate your guts.
"You know I did." I don't know why he is acting stupid.
"I missed you too." If you missed me so much why didn't you come back sooner?
"Okay. Well, I should be off soon." I don't want to leave but I want him to beg me to stay.
"Don't." What am I meant to reply to that?!
"It isn't really up to you is it?" Everyone will definitely be wondering where I am. David will wonder if I've stood him up. I don't care.
"No but I know that you don't want to marry him." He can always read me like a book.
"You don't know that. I lo... like David a lot." I still can't say that I love him...
"Just like?" I was hoping he hadn't picked up on that.
"I really have to go. An hour late to my own wedding won't look too good." Maybe he can tell that I want him to beg me to stay, to convince me not to marry David.
"Please don't go." Knowing him, he can probably see it written all over my face.
I have nothing to say, all I can do is look into his eyes which are looking right back into mine. The rain was getting heavier but I couldn't care less. I wouldn't leave him for anything.
"I can't let you marry him because I need you John." I've wanted to hear that for so long but now he's said it, it doesn't feel like enough.
"David looks after me, David's stable. He doesn't pretend to be dead for 3 years." It's true. But David doesn't make me feel special, loved, appreciated.
"I see." Do you see though? Do you know how much pain you've caused me? I cried everyday for the first month after you went and the image your face covered in blood still haunts me. Everyone crowding around you, not letting me hold you.
He moves closer to me and takes his hands out of his pockets. "You don't know how bad it's been. Now I really have to go Sherlock." I want to tell him all the pain he's put me through but I can't put it into words.
"You don't know how bad I feel. I'm honestly so sorry." I think I can see him crying but maybe that's just the rain running down his face.
"I can't stay mad at you forever." It's true. It'd take a while to forgive him but I don't want to lose him again.
I put my arms round him and hug him tight. I can feel him awkwardly flailing his arms but finally putting them around me. I finally let go and move back. Over an hour late, shit.
"Let me come." To my wedding? He wants to watch me marry another man?
"What?" I hope he isn't asking to come to my wedding.
"Please let me come to your wedding." Oh shit.
"Okay." I have no idea why I just agreed to that.
He pulls his coat collar up. Shit, I love it when he does that. I am so wet and dripping everywhere. Jesus, everything is soaked. I turn and start to head towards the church. Silence as we walk across the graveyard. The church is silent to apart from a few whispers as they walk in. He sits at the back, hidden. I have to walk down the aisle; it feels like a walk of shame. David is sitting on the altar steps his head in his hands. "I am so sorry." I'm not. David stands up, he's been crying.
"It's fine." His smile looks genuine, like he's pleased to see me. Why is he so nice? Why does he have to be so nice?
The vicar smiles and starts the service. This is so boring. I'm looking into David's eyes the whole time but it doesn't feel the same. I look down to the back of the church and my eyes search for Sherlock. He's sitting there, with his collar turned up and his cheekbones... I turn back to David who is looking down the end of the church, trying to see what I was looking at. Seeing nothing he turns back to me and gives one of his delicate smiles. I don't love you David.
"Is there is anyone who knows of any lawful reason why your marriage may not take place?" Half of me wants Sherlock to say something, the other half doesn't know what it wants, a stable married life?
No, nothing. Silence.
"David Britt do you promise to comfort, honour, protect and love this man and to be faithful to him for as long as you both shall live?" "I do." Tears are streaming down David's face, I can't tell if they are tears of sadness or joy.
Oh god, don't ask me.
"John Watson, do you promise to comfort, honour, protect and love this man and to be faithful to him for as long as you both shall live?" Shit. Fuck. Bollocks. I don't know what to do. I turn to look at Sherlock again, everyone one is staring at me. David's face has dropped. "I... I... I need to talk to someone." I start running down the aisle, I gesture for Sherlock to follow.
"SHIT. I can't do this. I can't promise myself to him when it's you I love but you don't feel the same and you're just going to run off again and-" Did I really just tell him that I love him? His face is definitely shocked.
"John I... You don't know how much I've wanted to tell you. I have loved you all this time." Wow. I don't think I've ever seen Sherlock Holmes blush before. Oh and the fact that the love of my life loves me back. Which makes the situation so much worse.
"What are we going to do now?" I want us to run away and live happily ever after but I can't just leave David like that after he's been there for me all this time.
"Right now?" He grabs my waist and pulls me closer. His head tilts slightly and his lips push into mine. He pushes his crotch into mine and his tongue slips into my mouth. I don't know how much time we spend standing there in the pouring rain. I finally pull away and catch my breath.
"Well." What else am I supposed to say?
"You need to get back in there." Well, obviously. But I don't want to.
"You're right. Let's do this." This will be the most horrible thing I've ever done. Well, after killing people in the war.
We walk back in, he sits back into the back row. Everyone keeps on staring at me. They ware all whispering. Wanting to know what is going on. I'm practically running up the aisle, I really want to get this over with.
David's face is still miserable and he's been crying some more. The vicar looks confused. What am I meant to do? I nod for him to carry on.
"Erm, so, John Watson do you promise to comfort, honour, protect and love this man and to be faithful to him for as long as you both shall live?" I can't look at David.
"No, I don't." The whole church gasps and I put my hand onto David's shoulder, "I am so sorry." He just nods and gives me a gentle smile. I must have hurt him so much.
"I know who he was. After hearing you talking about him for three years, I understand that you need to be with him." I can feel the heat of the tears running down my cheeks.
"Thank you."
I make my way down the church out of the door, Sherlock stands up and walks beside me. As soon as we're out the door he takes my hand and looks me in the eye, he's smiling.
"Will you love me for the rest of my life John?"
"No." A smile forces onto my face.
"I'll love you for the rest of mine."