She's four, long braid running down her back as she shrieks in laughter, running into Kate's arms, hugging her tight, as if she never wants to let go.
(I want to feel stronger than that. I want to feel powerful.)
She's nine, small bow in her hands, giggling and pretending she doesn't know he can hear her perfectly, trying to correct her aim but failing at it because she thinks the way her hand has to touch her mouth to do it is funny.
(Is this how we're gonna do father-daughter talks from now on?)
She's thirteen, having her very first true teenager tantrum, not wanting to leave the place they have been for a few months, because she was finally asked out by the boy she thought was cute, and Victoria wants to tell her the truth, but he won't let her. It's too soon, she's too young, and it's not right. Not yet.
(What are you doing to him? Is it gonna kill him?)
She's sixteen and in love. Her heart will be broken soon, and he doesn't know how to deal with that – with losing his baby girl the way all fathers lose their baby girls one day, to someone else, to the world, to being a grown-up. He doesn't tell her the truth, and it's a mistake. One he'll regret soon enough.
(We're just a bunch of teenagers, we can't handle this!)
She's seventeen and she's a monster for a week. There's coldness in her eyes, and she lost her mother, her world, her aunt, her footing, her love and he… he lost her. Not that she doesn't love him anymore, but it's not the same, because she doesn't look at him as if he hung the moon, or as if he knows all the answers – she looks at him as if he knew all the answers and never gave them to her.
(We protect those who cannot protect themselves.)
She's seventeen and will never be any older. She'll never laugh or cry again, will never run into his arms or glare at his bad choices, will never try to order him around or say Dad the way she would even after all the lying, and deceiving, and suffering.
She's gone.
And he cannot help but feel it's all his fault.
(I love you. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of us.)