HAPPY FRIGGEN' ASS LATE BIRTHDAY ELIVIER!! I HOPEZ YOUETH LOVE-ISH YOUR PRESENTZ!!

Ed: /Snort/ /Snort/ /Snort/ /Sniff/ Translation: Even I feel kinda bad...

Really?! oAo

Ed: /Snort/ /Sniff/ /Whinny/ Translation: Fuck no, ain't my problem.

/Rip stitches/

Ed: /Sniff/ /Whinny/! /Snort/ /Snort/! Translation: Holy fuck! Now I need more surgery!

Lloyd was having a dilemma.

No, it wasn't the fact that Colette was kidnapped by Rodyle, or Kratos was being a confusing, shit burger, son of a sock puppet, or that Yggdrasill was being his crazy, "It's-a-non-stop-disco-bet-you-it's-Nabisco-bet-you-didn't-know", bad-ass self. None. What. So. Ever.

It was the issue of Lloyd's stomach and what it craved. Yes, Lloyd's stomach that governed his every move, thoughts, and soul (no shit there), was growling with enough fury that it made a Lobo sound like a newborn pup. And no, the Eternal Swordsman wasn't hungry for anything. He was hungry for a sandwich. But no, he wasn't hungry for any old sandwich. Uh-uh, he was hungry for the God of Sandwiches: peanut butter and jelly.

The real issue, you see, was the fact that the group had forgotten to stock up on bread.

How do you make a sandwich without bread?! The question screamed itself around the red-clothed teen's head. He stood there, in the middle of the "kitchen" in Dirk's house, pondering this question.

Then, suddenly, he thought of a brilliant idea. Grabbing a butter knife, the brunet grabbed the jar of peanut butter, opened it, scooped out a large blob and popped it into his mouth. He looked around for the jelly. Where's...my jelly? The Eternal Swordsman thought with both anger and sadness.

That was when he noticed Zelos, a mischievous smile on his face and in his hand was...a jar of...strawberry jelly.

Mimicking Lloyd's actions, the red-head slunk over to the boy and lifted up his chin so those earth-brown eyes look into his own cloudless-blue eyes. He lowered his head to touch Lloyd's full lips with his own puckered lips. The Eternal Hero made a small squeaky noise as the older man began to kiss him. The brunet eventually closed his eyes and started to return the favor.

Still shy, eh? the pink-wearer miscreant thought. Then we'll just have to fix that. The red-head waited for his opportunity to strike. The Dwarven-raised teen (who was still slightly unused to the realm of kissing) would sometimes kiss his lover with his mouth slightly open which gave Zelos his opportunity. Now!

The older man shot his strawberry laden tongue into the shorter boy's peanut buttery mouth. Lloyd shot his eyes open as Zelos began to tease the boy's unresponsive one with his own.

Then the teen understood what Zelos was doing. Slightly blushing, the Eternal Swordsman fought back, tasting the strawberry jelly on the red-head god's tongue.

Zelos groaned loudly as the spiked-haired boy's fought back with all its peanut-buttery goodness. The rumble from the taller male's throat shook the teen's teeth, tickling his tongue. Together they mashed and mingled the peanut-butter and jelly 'till there was nothing left.

But that didn't stop them.

Still kissing, the Chosen wandered his hands all around the brunet's body: rubbing his arms, running his gloved hands over his chest, shoulders, back, and hips. He grabbed Lloyd's ass. Said boy gave muffled gasps and moans at the feel of the hands. Lloyd ground his hips into the other's, their members pushed up against each other. The tangerine-orange haired man squealed and ground himself into the young boy. The brunet cried out, breaking the kiss, and groaned as the older man continued to grind himself against him. He threw his head back, wrapping his legs around Zelos as said man supported him.

The ex-chosen dashed up the stairs that led to Lloyd's room.

He dumped the boy on his bed as soon as they reached the room. Zelos began ripping off their clothes in a blurry haze.

The teen pulled the other down by his long hair and in a kiss. The ex-Chosen was laying half-on Lloyd, his legs still on the ground, supporting him. He tore off the last bits of clothes as they continued to kiss, slobbering spit all around their mouths.

The red-head pulled the lower half of his body up, spreading the brunet's legs apart, wrapping his lips around the teen's shaft.

Lloyd propped himself up as he watched Zelos suck, lick, slobber, squeeze, and moan around his cock. The Eternal-Swordsman whispered encouraging words, begging Zelos to continue on.

Noishe calmly strode over the log bridge that led you to Dirk's house.

The Protozoan was in a good mood to say the least. Some of the village kids gave him treats such as apples and dried pieces of meat, he'd made friends with some of the local gossiping birds, meth-addicted squirrels, and a flamboyant butterfly, and to top it all off, he got some bread for Lloyd! He never felt so proud of himself.

"Ngh...Ah..."

Noishe stopped dead-short, large ears slightly quivering, high in the air. What in holy hell was that?! Black-ish purple eyes darted around, hoping to find a figure to go with the sounds.

Nothing.

"(Hi-ya, Noishe!)" A twitchy squirrel chattered from a tree.

"(Grasper!)" Noishe barked back in greetings. "(Can you find out where that noise is coming from?)"

Grasper's head snapped around, his nose sniffing the air. "(What noise?)" As if on cue, a yell was heard...coming...from...LLOYD'S ROOM?!

"(I'll go check it out!)" The squirrel jumped down on to the ground, twirled upwards in a candy cane fashion on one of the support beams that held up the deck to the red-clad hero's room. Noishe watched the grey blob dart quickly in the window.

Zelos grabbed the tube of lube from his pant's pocket and twisted off the top. He squeezed a small amount onto his fingers and shoved them up Lloyd. The teen made a small shuddering sound as he felt the fingers move around inside him, pulling out, then in again. The fingers disappeared and were replaced with something much bigger.

The tangerine-orange began thrusting almost as soon he plunged into the brunet.

"Ngh..." Lloyd moaned a little too loudly. "Ah..."

Grasper jumped out of the window faster then a missile, quivering as he zoomed up to Noishe, squeaking out, "(There's s-someone being attacked!)"

The protozoan needn't to hear more as he quite literally leapt into action, landing quieter then a cat on the deck. He used his teeth to twist the doorknob and pushed open the door.

"Oh my G...Ah, goddess, Zelos!" Noishe's master cried out as his face scrunched up. "So..." The red-head gasped. "So fucking good."

Noishe barked like what seemed to be hell, interrupting the two males' love making. Zelos leapt off of Lloyd as the green-white "dog" attempted to bite off his leg.

"No, Noishe!" The brunet attempted to subdue his pet. "Hey! Stop!" Lloyd grabbed the scruff or the protozoan's fur.

It did little to help as Noishe dragged the blue-winged hero around his room until Zelos jumped out of the small window in the room.

"Zelos!" The teen let go of Noishe and ran out to the balcony, hoping that the red-head hadn't killed himself or done any serious damage. What he saw both shocked and surprised him. "Zelos?"

The young adult was floating right in front of him, his vibrant orange colored wings slowly flapping behind him.

"Uh..." Zelos sea-blue eyes looked around. "Look!" He pointed to his wings. "Merry! The pure and heavenly divine essence of the celestial beings lost in their own salt-of-the-earth ethereal world!"

"..." Lloyd's eyes dulled over to a murky brown as little sparks fizzled out of his head.

The cherry-red head gulped, floated over the shallow stream next to the small wooden shack, and dissipated his crystal-like wings, falling into the freezing water. Zelos was carried away, screaming like a little girl, having misjudged the current of the stream.

So, now we are onto the second chapter! Transforming into Agent Yellow!!! /Puts on yellow cape/ Off and away!!

Ed: /Neigh/ /Sniff/ /Whinny/ Translation: Hey, you should review.