This story stemmed from one of my current fanfiction projects that deals largely with the concept of the strong in a weak moment. I just recently got back into Naruto and I can't help but resurrect one of my favorite characters - this oneshot is unbeta'ed though, so please beware.
Kana can barely even admit it to herself - she is blind. It's taken so long for her to adjust, to stop opening her eyes or expecting to see the gray light of sunrise again. She tied the ninja headband around her eyes only a few hours after she woke up from the operation, to spare others the sight of her eyeless sockets.
She knows she is ugly.
Even if she is blind, she can still hear, feel, and smell - she knows that she's in the forest near the training grounds, but not much other than that. Kana is so focused on training - perfecting a roundhouse kick - that the tree takes her completely by surprise. She's knocked to the ground, again and again, each time worse than the last as frustration blurs the mental map of the forest in her mind. It's only when she realizes that it's freezing and crickets are chirping that she's been training for over five hours, yet she still can't master the damn kick.
Tiny but determined, Kana stays in the forest despite the heaviness in her limbs. She's still perfecting her form until the world warms again and she wishes so badly she could see the glistening of dew on the grass and the forest animals starting to scurry about. She wants to call it quits, but for the life of her she just can't master this. Kana spins, throwing her leg out but she hits a tree too hard and too many times to be just a careless mistake.
When the birds are singing high in the treetops and the scent of dew vanishes from the wind, Kana knows she'll pass out if she works any longer - but this is what she must do to become strong. This is her ninja way.
Kana keeps going.
She uses the tree as a target, but misses it again and again although she was sure that it was close enough for her to reach. Each time, even when Kana falls to the ground, she drags herself up by her fingernails to the light and forest she cannot see and tries even harder. Kana can barely keep track of the trees, and she doesn't notice the yells and loud voices that come closer and closer to her until she is breathing dirt again, and a voice startles her out of her reverie.
"How long have you been here?"
She doesn't recognize the voice enough to automatically associate a face with it, but Kana knows it's a man and he's probably a Jounin or worse, an ANBU.
Hauling herself up from the ground, she brushes off the first where she's sure there is some, but doesn't speak. The voice calls again, much closer - too close. Kana jumps back, startled she hadn't heard him approach.
"Are you okay?"
She wants to stand up, to prove she's okay, but Kana is unsure whether she'll be steady on her feet this time around. She wasn't last time. She resigns to sitting cross-legged on the sparse grass, and looks up, somewhere near where the voice came from.
"I'm fine. I don't need help."
There's some shuffling noises and Kana thinks he's making extra noise so she isn't startled when he sits down in front of her.
"You look liek you can hardly stand. I saw you last night, but if you push yourself any further you'll hurt yourself."
If she had eyes, they would be wide with shock - but she's at a loss for words anyway, slightly frightened that he knows so much.
His voice is much softer now. "What's wrong?"
Kana is almost glad she didn't have tear ducts - crying only gave her emotions away. As for her eyes, she's not so sure she's okay without them. But she can barely even say what happened to herself, so why would she say anything to a complete stranger?
Kana just shakes her head.
"Do you know who I am? Kakashi Hatake. I teach a squad of Genin a year younger than you."
He knows exactly who she was - and now, she does too. She'd seen Kakashi multiple times, although it never occurred to her that the infamous Copy-nin teaches a squad of Genin. His personality is a mystery to her, but in this moment he seems kind and willing to help.
They say the first step is admitting that you have a problem - and it was surreal when Kana did speak, the words floating way from her in her own hellish darkness.
"I was… training, but I can't tell where the trees are. Ever since the surgery, my parents try to control everything I do and everyone else avoids me, so I left the house." The next part is hard. She bites her lip, but then the words tumble out all at once. "Most people think I'll die a Genin, but my ninja way is to never give up. I'm blind - if I can't see the enemy, how will I fight?"
There's a short lull before he answers, bitter anger peppering his words. "It's been two months since the operation, and nobody mentioned chakra-sensing techniques?"
Though she's exhausted, this gets Kana's full attention. "Can you teach me it?" Hope would've made her eyes shine like Naruto's. Something stabs at Kakashi's heart.
"I don't know, but I should tell my students training's off today. Can you stand?"
She shakes her head. "Even if I could, I can't see anything."
The Copy-nin nods tightly, thinking that losing her sight so suddenly was far too much for someone this young - of course, he and many others had endured similar events, but sight was crucial to a ninja.
"I'll carry you on my back."
Standing up, Kakashi continues, "Take my hand. Right in front of you…"
She does so, but Kakashi doesn't miss the minute quaking of her fingers - whether from overexertion or emotion, though, he's not sure. He guides Kana to his back, and she wraps her arms around his shoulders, resting her head in the crook of his neck. Her heartbeat slows considerably and she relaxes almost instantly - poor kid. He needs to speak to the Hokage about this, to find out who made Kana think she had to handle this all by herself.
When he gets to the clearing, his students are about to yell at him when they notice the child on his back. Before the three can ask any questions, he announces, "Training is cancelled. Meet back here tomorrow, same time. Dismissed."
With his students gone, he murmurs to the girl, "Where do your parents live?"
She stiffens, almost falling off his back in the process, but he catches her easily.
"Fine, I'll take you to the hospital instead - "
This time, she clings harder to his back. "No! My mom - my mom is a medic-nin. They think I'm on a mission…"
Kakashi sighs. This is the only option he has. "Fine, we'll go to my house. You should rest…"
She's out cold before he even finishes his sentence.
Kana sleeps soundly, even when he sets her down on his bed and covers her with the blankets. Kakashi doesn't really know how he can teach this girl something only a sensory-type ninja could easily grasp; he'll probably have to find somebody else to teach her.
He lets her sleep - for when she wakes up, the road ahead will be long and weary.
After a couple of hours Kana starts to stir and he disappears to the kitchen only for a moment, to make a bowl of steaming ramen. When he comes back, she's sitting up, hands searching for the edges and crevices in the blankets that serve as her picture of the world.
He purposely steps on the creakiest floorboards. "I made you ramen - you should eat."
Kana smells the fragrant noodles even from across the room, and hears him approach noisily on purpose. She smiles at the gestures - at least, she hopes it looks like a smile. She seems to have forgotten what her smile looks like, even after only two months.
Kakashi hopes she knows her smile lights up the room like the sun.
"I'm starving."
As she eats, Kakashi surprises even himself and begins talking, sitting back down on the chair he dragged up near the bed. "I can't exactly teach you Chakra-sensing techniques - but I know some people who can." With the Sharingan, he'd never needed to use it.
Her shoulders slump a fraction of an inch lower, and her head bows toward the bowl of half-eaten ramen balancing in her lap. She doesn't respond.
"I can talk to the Hokage about your squad, too, if you want. If it's been this long and you can't work together, you'd be reassigned, probably to a new Genin group when they form next year."
But to his surprise, Kana snaps out of it, just like that. She cracks a smile easily, like the sadness was never there. She's stronger than he thought. Kakashi wonders what happened to her helpless personality just hours before - but maybe she is truly a strong kid, and he just caught her in a weak moment. Her shoulders are broad and strong for her size, the smile easily resting on her face. This demeanor seems much more natural to her.
"That's alright. When will you go to the Hokage? I want to go with you."
He's still a bit startled that this kid is only a year older than his team. Even with her tiny size, she seems older than her age. Pain's given her wisdom, he realizes. The same thing happened for him - although he hopes she never joins the ANBU.
"We can go now, if you're up to it."
She nods, her hands curling into tiny fists. Kana's still exhausted, but she can sleep later tonight - although she's not entirely sure what time it is.
If she can learn to sense chakra, she'll at least be on the road to getting more powerful. If she never, ever gives up - maybe it'll be like she never even needed eyes in the first place. Kana knows it's a hopeless dream, but she believes to the bottom of her heart that if she truly tries as hard as she can, she will get there.
Yeah, she'll turn out just fine.