a/n: i wrote half of this in a notebook while waiting on a bench outside and then finished it like a month later. you could consider this a sequel to the birthday one, since it also features lexa surviving the bullet (as she should have) and being generally happy and gay
also thanks to iwannafeellikeseabreeze on tumblr for the title and the prompt!
"Lexa, are you sure you're up for this?" Clarke murmured, her view still obscured by the makeshift blindfold wrapped around her head as Lexa held her hand.
"A stomach wound is- tch - not enough to subdue me, Clarke. I am the commander." Clarke could practically visualize Lexa clutching the bandage wrapped around her stomach, wincing but still pushing through.
"You just regained enough strength to walk, and suddenly you're ready to take me on some mysterious date-walk thing?"
"Date?" There was a note of confusion in Lexa's voice, as if she was trying out the word on her tongue for the first time.
"Yeah, a date. People didn't really have them on the Ark, but we used to watch old movies from before the bombs, and those explained them pretty well."
"What were these . . . dates?"
"Well, basically, two people would go somewhere, to a movie or lunch or something, and they'd just talk and have fun." Clarke stopped walking for a moment, letting the cool breeze blow through her hair. Lexa, still going, bumped into her, but it wasn't an unwelcome feeling. There was something comforting, Clarke thought, about Lexa's weight pressed against her, a reminder of the fact that she was still here, still alive. "Those movies used to make me really sad when I was a kid."
"Why?"
"I thought that it was unfair." Clarke chuckled to herself at the thought. "Why did these people get to be so happy and carefree while we were all cramped in a floating heap of metal, longingly staring at an Earth nobody thought we could return to?" Clarke had started walking again, tightly holding onto Lexa's hand as she continued blindly traipsing forwards. "Luce and Rachel didn't need to worry about the extinction of the human race, or whether the next minute could be their last." Clarke was running, now, and Lexa struggled to catch up.
"You're stressed about something, aren't you?" Lexa murmured. Clarke dug her heels into the grass as she pulled off the blindfold and turned to face Lexa, wanting - needing - more than anything in that moment to see her face.
"I was so scared, Lexa," she breathed, her voice barely above a whisper as if Lexa would disappear if she spoke too loudly. "I don't know what I would have . . . what I would have done if you had died."
"You would have survived," Lexa replied firmly, placing her hands on Clarke's shoulders. "As things actually are, however, both of us are alive, and we seem to have arrived."
"Arrived where?" Lexa smiled and spun Clarke around, revealing the landscape in front of the two. Clarke instinctively gasped - a field of flowers stretched out ahead as far as the eye could see, softly buffered by the wind.
"You told me at one point, if I correctly recall, that you liked to draw fields of flowers when you lived in the sky. I figured that you probably hadn't found the time to seek them out since you landed here."
"It's beautiful," Clarke murmured. "Thank you, Lexa."
"We have about two hours before I'm expected to return to Polis. Titus seems to feel a twinge of guilt for his actions, so he agreed to cover for me while I took you here. Until then, I brought some-" Lexa attempted to reach for something in her pack before doubling over and falling on her knees. Clarke raced to her side.
"Lexa, you need to breathe, okay? You need to-"
"-art supplies." The pack's contents were spilled out onto the flower-covered ground, revealing charcoal and parchment. Clarke picked up the supplies before redirecting her focus back to Lexa.
"You're still weak, you can't just do stuff like this and not expect to get hurt!"
"I am weak for you, Clarke." Lexa smirked, and Clarke rolled her eyes.
"You're going to get me into big trouble someday, you know that?" Lexa, her breathing now at least somewhat more even, nodded.
"You can go and continue exploring. I'll be fine here."
"Like hell I'm leaving you alone. The view's nicer here, anyway." Clarke planted herself next to Lexa and started to draw, the flowers coming in easy strokes as she tried to capture the beauty of the landscape. Lexa sighed, leaning on her shoulder. It didn't take Clarke very long to realized that Lexa was still in pain, wincing as she watched the flowers, curled into herself. Clarke shifted her gaze to Lexa's resting form, the way she sat, her hands on her knees as a gust of wind blew some of the flower petals into the air. Clarke scooted back a bit, lifting the charcoal. Carefully, with gentle strokes, Clarke began to draw her, back facing the world as the sun began to set.
"You should add yourself," Lexa noted, running a finger along the small drawing. Clarke held out the stick of charcoal.
"Why don't you?"
"Clarke, I have never drawn anything more detailed than a crude mockup of a battle strategy in my life."
"Here, I'll show you how to do it." Clarke took Lexa's hand into her own and lightly traced an outline of herself facing the Lexa-drawing on the page.
"Hmm." Lexa stuck out her tongue in focus, following Clarke's outline. By the time she was done, the two drawings sat side-by-side, small hands interlocked in front of the endless flower field.
"It'd be nice if we could stay like this forever," Clarke murmured, lying on her back as the sky turned the clouds shades of pink and gold, the now-finished drawing safely rolled up in her bag. "No leadership, no responsibilities, just us on a date and in love forever." Lexa shifted in her spot.
"I'd like that too," she said, and Clarke could tell that she meant it, that she knew how brief this stolen moment of bliss truly was. "I promised Titus that we'd be back by sundown, though. I can't turn back on that now." Clarke stood up before carefully helping Lexa to her feet, once again allowing herself a moment to relish the fact that Lexa was here, and she was happy and alive, and for that, she could almost forget the responsibility that awaited the two when they returned to Polis.
For that, she could almost forgive everything.