A/N: Abîme : French word for abyss which refers to what is dark, deep and vast. It also refers to Hell, and the chaos before the Creation.
Should I mention this is the very first time I wrote smut? Probably not ^^ However, Carpe Noctem is one of my favourite songs/scenes of the musical, and I always wanted to write a version of it! I hope you will enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Disclaimer: Tanz der Vampire and its characters belong to Roman Polanski, Jim Steinman and Michael Kunze.
This story was beta-read by Hamstermoon. Many thanks to her!
The first thing he was aware of were the voices.
There was no light. Only infinite darkness, and the voices.
Multiple voices. Different voices. Calling for him, singing to him, urging him to curse the day and its powers, to listen to his desires, and devote himself to the night.
They were also singing about terrifying things. Of angels falling and demons ascending. Of blood-thirsting creatures that were living for greed and corruption. Of letting go of inhibitions and to just feel the night, obeying to his deepest desires and belonging to the night and its predators.
Alfred frenetically looked everywhere, to find nothing but darkness and the haunting voices surrounding him. He wanted to shut off the voices, but even as he covered his ears, he could still hear them. Inside his mind, speaking to his soul.
Desperately, he tried to get away and blindly followed his instincts that were guiding his feet on a path through the darkness.
Suddenly, he heard it. A girlish laughter, endearing and familiar.
"Sarah!" Alfred cried out. A sweet laugh answered him from afar. Alfred finally saw a shape beckoning, not far away from him. Long red hair, a white dress, and the lovely face of Sarah Chagal.
Her lips turned into a sweet smile as she extended a hand to him, inviting him to come to her.
Alfred smiled, comforted at the sight of Sarah's lovely face and walked toward her, knowing everything would be alright as long as Sarah was here.
Sarah smiled in a playful way as she turned and started to walk away, laughing as if she was playing. She walked faster when Alfred was about to join her, still laughing. Alfred quickly followed, pursuing her as she called for him. Through her voice kept calling and laughing and that Alfred hastened, he never could reach her and she soon became a glimpse from afar… until she disappeared into the darkness.
Alfred called for her, but only the echo of his voice answered him.
He continued to walk and looked everywhere, hoping to see the girl again.
Alfred…
Alfred stopped at that. It wasn't Sarah's sweet voice, it was something else… something definitely masculine.
This voice wasn't part of the voices he previously heard… the voices that were singing of the night and unleashed desires. No…, it was a voice soft… and smooth. It was familiar, yet Alfred couldn't recall having heard such a voice before!
Come to me, Alfred…
Alfred turned his head to his right, then to his left, and before and behind him. He saw nothing, but could still hear the voice and his heart began to pound fast in his chest, as fear was slowly taking hold on him. What was happening? Which voice was it and what does it wanted?
Alfred...
The voice whispered into his ear, and Alfred jumped at that. It seemed like there was someone invisible next to him.
Suddenly, cool and long fingers brushed against his neck, his hair, his cheek. Alfred shuddered and frenetically looked around him, only to face endless darkness.
Was he beginning to become mad?
Alfred stood frozen, trying to perceive something into the darkness. Yet, somehow, he wasn't afraid. Not exactly. Alfred didn't fear the dark. During the day, he would work and attend Professor Abronsius, and walk and work again and again. Only during the night he belonged to himself, and was free to do what he pleased. Only during the night he could be left alone, reading a book with only the light of a candlelight, or watch the stars and constellations with wonder.
Alfred didn't fear the dark, he only feared the monsters he could find in the dark… just like he feared to know what the voice wanted from him. Yet, there was something in the voice that commanded him to stay, and prevented him to run away. Something truly… mesmerizing, appealing.
Don't be afraid...
The tips of long and cold fingers brushed against his cheek… then his neck… and his hair, Alfred shuddered and willed himself to turn, trying to find the creature haunting him.
Suddenly, the feeling of the hand was gone and Alfred prevented himself from crying out in protest. The caress had felt so good, and part of him mourned the loss of it.
The voice came again, directly inside his mind and Alfred felt like the voice was now in his head. Come to me…
A fierce desire to obey rose inside his mind, and Alfred's legs and feet moved before he was aware of it, and he walked before him, into the darkness, instinctively following the voice luring him, calling out for him. It was as though he was put under the influence of a spell.
His feet were light as Alfred walked faster and faster, as the voice kept calling him.
Finally, Alfred reached it and saw him. When he understood what the voice has been meaning to do, it was already too late.
He appeared from the darkness, moving quietly. His eyes piercing and mesmerizing. Long dark hair falling on pale shoulders like a cascade. A deathly white skin, long and clawed fingers.
The count von Krolock, stood before him, dressed up in nothing but dark pants and shoes.
His lips curved up into a smirk, one that looked positively... hungry.
Alfred wanted to scream, to run, yet no sound came out and his feet were glued to the floor. He looked into the vampire's eyes and found no will to run. He felt like he was being bewitched.
Suddenly, it was not so dark anymore. Somehow, his very presence seemed to illuminate the darkness, though Alfred could still see shadows, all around them, like a dark cloak. Only now Alfred saw he was in his own room, the chamber the count previously gave him for the night, when he and Abronsius stumbled upon his castle.
Without a sound, the vampire approached him, and Alfred couldn't keep his eyes off him.
Krolock ran his fingers through Alfred's hair, and he barely held back a shudder. Krolock bend down his head to breath in his scent deeply, and the action of it made his long black hair fall down on Alfred. The soft sensation of it tickled Alfred's exposed skin, and it made the hair behind his neck rise up. He wished he could say something, anything, but his mind was powerless to form words.
He suddenly felt something sharp nibbling at his earlobe, then his neck – Krolock's fangs, Alfred realised with a shudder – and it made him tremble with fear and pleasure.
A clawed hand came to cup his cheek and the count leaned to kiss him. His tongue delivered a warm caress to his lips and, without thinking much about it, Alfred parted his lips slightly to let the kiss in, responding with tentative longing and curiosity.
He didn't think: My first kiss was supposed to be Sarah's. Somehow, the red haired girl was nowhere in his mind.
No, all he could think was: I want more…
Alfred responded more eagerly than before, and the kiss became deeper and more consuming. There was a hand tenderly stroking the back of his neck now, and Alfred pressed firmly against Krolock's body.
A sudden feeling sparkled inside him, and Alfred pulled out, puzzled.
"What was that?" he asked, almost breath taken by the kiss.
Krolock looked deep into his eyes, and Alfred had the impression he was looking through him, right into his soul, into his deepest secrets and desires. The vampire's eyes sparkled and it made Alfred's stomach tingle.
"To know," Krolock said in a whisper. "To feel, to live." And Alfred suddenly remembered Krolock's words from before, in the great hall of the castle: I will show you what it means to live...
A memory flashed into his mind. A pair of rich brown eyes, red hair and a lovely smile. Yes! He had come to the castle with Abronsius to find Sarah!
"But I have to find Sarah," Alfred protested weakly. "I have to..." A kick kiss silenced him, and Alfred found he had no will or power to stop him.
"It doesn't matter, Alfred," Krolock said and the way he said it, so persuasive and seductive it sent a new sensation right into his length. "Just surrender."
Feel the voluptuousness of giving yourself up, Krolock's words from before sang into his mind.
"Surrender to what?" Alfred breathlessly asked. To you? was the question he didn't dare to ask.
"To your inner desires." Krolock answered.
But I love Sarah! Alfred wanted to cry out, yet Krolock looked back at him, with a sharp and knowing look in his eyes, and a mysterious smile that turned hungry. Hungry, at the sight of him, Alfred.
It made Alfred tremble with fear as well as desire, and a spark of curiosity flashed into his mind, and Alfred found himself anxious yet curious and eager to see where this would lead him.
When Krolock put his lips on Alfred's once again, Alfred tentatively kissed back, trying to teach his inexpert lips how to caress the other sweetly and losing himself in the vampire's embrace, his fingers unconsciously grabbing Krolock, holding him near him.
In answer, Krolock groaned deep in his chest. His knees went to spread Alfred's legs a bit farther apart and he positioned a leg between Alfred's legs.
Krolock's hands were on his chest then, finding the buttons of his shirt and undoing them slowly… one by one and Alfred found he couldn't stop him from undressing him… didn't want to stop him, even if he wanted to. It seemed there was fire running deep into his veins as he felt a forbidden yet pleasant heat run through his body, and Alfred could only lean back to that strong embrace and gentle caresses.
His shirt was on the floor, and Alfred then felt Krolock's nails on him, scratching at his skin. His hands cool and precise as they glided over him… all of him, and Alfred felt delicious shivers as Krolock's hand were exploring his chest… knowing exactly where to touch to cause pleasure, and Alfred found he wanted more.
Alfred jumped when the hands were replaced by a tongue, eyes wide and a blush dusting his cheeks. Krolock nipped at his neck, and Alfred trembled with every brush across his skin. Alfred was biting his bottom lip, holding in his gasps and moans as the vampire began to explore his chest with his tongue. Lapping, stroking, tasting.
Soon, Alfred became a mess under Krolock's lips. Hot shivers coursed through him, and he felt a burning in his chest, and further down below.
He almost moaned in displeasure when the lapping stopped. He looked to find Krolock's hands slowly working on his pants. His heart skipped a beat, suddenly feeling anxious… yet curious.
"Wait!" He managed to cry out. His mind struggled to find what he could add, which seemed difficult when the count gazed at him, a sparkle of hunger dancing in his dark eyes.
"We – we can't." Alfred managed to say, in a whisper.
"Why?" Krolock asked, his lips so close to the skin below his belly Alfred shuddered. "You like it." He added, undoing a button from Alfred's pants.
"I like it," Alfred admitted. "But…," He struggled to say words he couldn't find, and he was out of breath.
"This is wrong." Alfred managed to whisper, and it feel like a victory to be able to speak clearly, with the mess his mind currently was in.
Krolock undid another button, a clawed finger teasing the revealed skin. "One of the things we learn in life," he softly said. "Is that not everything is wrong; and that so called right-thinking people label things as wrong in fear of them. You aren't scared, aren't you Alfred?"
"N – no!"
"It feels good, doesn't it?" Krolock asked, his eyes fixed on Alfred's.
"… Yes, it does." He couldn't lie. Not to Krolock, and not to himself.
"And does it harm anyone?"
"… No."
"Then, why would it be wrong? We don't have to stop… All we have to do is to feel and stop thinking."
"I… "
"Don't think, Alfred. Feel."
And so Alfred felt compelled to obey. He leaned back as a hand was caressing up and down his stomach, teasing him as the other worked to undo the rest of his buttons.
The hand on his stomach continued to tease him, and Krolock seemed to know what and where were the sensitive spots on his skin, what made him want and desire so much. Alfred wondered how the other knew it when even he didn't know all his sensitive places.
Part of him didn't care. He only wanted to surrender to this pleasure, and to be touched more and below.
Finally, the Count pulled his pants down, then removed his shoes, and Alfred shivered. He had never felt so exposed before, and he felt intimidated under the burning eyes of Krolock, watching him… all of him. There was hunger in the vampire's eyes and a small part of Alfred enjoyed to know that he caused it, that he made Krolock feel this way.
Then, gently – so gently Alfred wasn't aware the vampire could possess such gentleness – he pushed him over the bed. The sheets feel cool under his back, and Alfred could only watch as the vampire undressed himself and joined him on the bed.
The rest of his body was as pale as his face, hands and chest were. He was lean, and his movements graceful. Alfred almost jumped when his chest felt the contact of Krolock's as the vampire was laying on him. Alfred has never felt another's bare body on himself and it felt so strange and intoxicating and good… beyond imagination. Alfred forgot his apprehension and watched him, mesmerized. His eyes were intense and sharp, and Alfred felt he could be lost just gazing at them.
Alfred didn't have the time to lose himself into Krolock's eyes, as the vampires's hands were back on him. Stroking, teasing the skin of his hips and the length of his legs. A hand was holding him by his hip, and the other touched his length and stroked him in a way Alfred never did when he stroked himself when alone, in the dead of the night.
Krolock moved his hips against Alfred's, and the young man wasn't thinking anymore, just wanting. It wasn't hard for Krolock to convince Alfred to yield, to part his legs and let the other in. Positioned between Alfred's legs, Krolock applied something wet and cold on his entrance and then he fixed Alfred with an unreadable expression. Alfred watched him back, unsure what to do but unwilling to move. He felt anxious and enthralled as the vampire prepared himself to take what he wanted.
"I will show you what it means to live… what it means to love."
And then, he took him. Alfred gasped and arched, his head going back in open-mouthed astonishment, his nails scratching at the skin of Krolock's back. He took a deep breath to hold back the moan that wanted to slip free. Krolock touching him had been incredible, but this was… heaven – and hell, at the same time. A mix of pain and pleasure as he had never felt before!
He was startled by the sudden intrusion in him, but then he really felt him. In him, all around him. Once Alfred relaxed, Krolock withdrew and thrust in him once again, and Alfred gasped loudly, arching his back as a new sensation roared up his spine. It seemed Krolock's hands were everywhere on him, and the way he touched him and moved inside him nearly drove him mad.
Krolock groaned deep into his chest and – could Alfred believe it? - let out some sounds that sounded like moans, and it sounded strangely erotic. Unconsciously, Alfred lifted his hips to meet Krolock's thrusts, his knees bending around Krolock and tensing. He was overwhelmed. Never in his life had he ever felt something so intense before, not even from trying to pleasure himself. For an agonizing eternity, violent pleasure burned through his body as the vampire pulled back and drove back into him over and over.
Krolock withdrew again, then shoved back in and slammed directly into that spot. And, a sudden flash of pleasure overtook him. Alfred threw back his head and saw stars. It was far powerful than before, and it resonated throughout his entire body, arching his spine, white-washing his brain and driving a raw cry from his throat.
Then he heard Krolock letting out a soft cry of pleasure and triumph which echoed throughout the room, as he came. And, suddenly, Krolock's fangs sank into his neck, and Alfred felt a burning sensation on his neck. Never Alfred had felt such a sensation before! He was torn apart by the pain he felt from the bite and by the pleasure that overtook his whole being. He felt weightless and warm and dizzy as his blood, his very life, was flowing out, as Krolock drank from him.
Dizzy from pain and exhaustion and passed euphoria, Alfred went limp into the arms that were firmly holding him. There was a sort of sweet surrender he had never felt, never imagined before and Alfred willingly gave in into that feeling, that surrender.
Alfred now thought he understood what the voices from earlier were trying to say to him, when they sang about belonging to the predators and free his instincts.
The drinking stopped, and Alfred felt a new wave of pleasure when a tongue gently lapped at this neck, where the fangs had pierced the flesh. Alfred shuddered and, unconsciously arched back his neck to give Krolock a better access, too far gone in his haze of pleasure to care.
Alfred almost moaned when the tongue finished licking. He opened his eyes to find Krolock gazing down at him. There was blood dripping from his mouth and chin, and Alfred shuddered to know it was his own blood, not knowing if he was shivering from fear or pleasure.
Then, his mouth found Alfred's in a sudden kiss and Alfred surrendered, once more, lost in the sweet feeling of the vampire's kiss and his tongue responded to Krolock's. Maybe it was out of pleasure, but right now, Alfred wanted to give him everything – his body, his mind, his soul, his life – and he knew he would happily do so.
When the kiss ceased and Alfred lifted up his head to gaze at Krolock, he had grew fangs. Alfred brought a hand to his face and the tips of his fingers slowly touched the sharp teeth. It seemed so surreal, yet Alfred wasn't afraid and why should he be when he was feeling so powerful? He who often prayed God to be braver, stronger than he was?
He felt suddenly so strong and confident, like he had never been before, and Alfred found he liked this new feeling.
He looked back at Krolock to find the vampire looking at him carefully. Then, he smiled, his teeth sharp, his smile possessive and triumphant.
"Beautiful." he said, and he reclaimed Alfred's lips for a kiss.
Alfred kissed back with all the energy he could muster, and lost himself to him once again to feel the night and surrender to his desires, Krolock's voice echoing inside his mind:
Beautiful…
Beautiful…
Beautiful...
When Alfred woke up with a start, he didn't know where he was at first. The first thing he was aware of was he was wet; his pyjamas soaked, and not only from sweat.
Alfred brought a trembling hand to his neck. There was no wound, and he didn't feel drained of blood.
It was a dream… just a dream… No, Alfred thought, a nightmare!
A nightmare with endless darkness, the comforting shape of Sarah he could never reach, and him. The Count von Krolock.
Krolock had been just a shape in his nightmare… Yet, part of Alfred thought he could still see him, in the darkness; that he could still feel him, his hands on his skin, his lips on his lips… and on his neck. Alfred's fingers came to gently touch his lips, as if he could feel the ghost of a kiss.
He hadn't been there for real, reasoned Alfred. Yet, why could he still feel him, as if the vampire had been there?
Alfred fell down on the mattress, glad he didn't have to share a room with Professor Abronsius. He didn't know how he would have been able to explain this.
His heart was beating fast into his chest, still trembling from the emotions his nightmare caused. Having an active imagination, Alfred often had dreams… as well as nightmares. However, he couldn't recall, in his whole life, having quite such vivid dreams before.
He remembered it all, how amazing it felt, how sweet his surrendering had been. Nothing but giving himself, thinking of nothing, just feeling.
It had been terrifying and yet… so sublime, so overwhelming!
He thought of the nightmare that made him toss and turn and wake sweat-soaked and breathe heavily. He tried to focus on the horror he should have felt upon seeing his bloodied skin and the gaping wound at the side of his neck; how terrible it had been that he surrounded himself to a vampire and let him torture his mind and body; yet he couldn't stop thinking: I've wanted this.
And it was the most sincere and terrifying truth Alfred could ever admit to himself.
A/N: Suggested listening:
- Vor dem Schloss, Tanz der Vampire.
- Carpe Noctem, Tanz der Vampire.
- Desire, Meg Myers.
- Poison, Alice Cooper (the Tarja Turunen version is also very nice!).
For the sake of this story, Alfred and Abronsius didn't share a room when Krolock invited them to stay in his Castle. They have their own rooms, like in the movie. I found it weird at first that, in the musical, Alfred and Abronsius shared a room. As big as the bed was, I'm sure Krolock have many many unoccupied rooms, or what Alfred so scared he didn't want to sleep alone ;p ? However, in this story Alfred has his own room, which is good because how poor Alfred would have explained to Abronsius the state he woke up in (even if I'm sure it would have lead to an... interesting conversation :p).
Anyway, thanks for reading! Feel free to tell me what you thought about it, I would love to hear your thoughts about it :) A comment is always nice!
