Disclaimer: did you ever notice that there's not even so much as a mention of sex in the HP books? See if I'd written them that wouldn't be the case.

'Thought I'd find you up here,' I said once I'd found Sirius alone at the top of the Astronomy Tower, in the same position I'd found him three weeks ago.

'You were looking for me?' he asked. He seemed surprised that I should want to find him at all. That anyone might want to find him.

'Yeah…I- listen Pads, I know what you said last Saturday but…is there something going on between you and James?'

Images of Sirius kneeling in front of James, James's pants round his ankles, in the bathroom on the third floor came back to me. I grimaced unconsciously.

Sirius dragged his gaze away from the stars - he seemed to enjoy looking at them even as he claimed to hate them - and stared at me with a thunderstruck expression.

'Wh- what did you…' he trailed off, unable to complete the question.

'I saw you and him…in the third floor bathrooms today at lunch…is it-'

'It means nothing…it was nothing. Nothing.' Sirius looked as if he was attempting to persuade himself of that.

I regarded him for a moment before pulling a pack of cigarettes out of my jacket and offering him one. He slipped one out and I took my place beside him on the floor.

'Can I've a light? Forgot my wand,' Sirius mumbled.

I nodded and pulled my wand out, lighting first his and then my own cigarette. I took a long drag of it. 'Filch nearly caught me on the way up,' I informed him. 'I swear, I'm going to kill that cat, I was under the invisibility cloak and all and she still followed me halfway up the steps. We better be careful.'

Sirius shrugged. 'What's another detention?'

I smirked at the comment against my better judgement. 'Maybe for you. What's the count at now?'

'A hundred and eighty-nine,' he smiled slightly.

'Impressive. All that free time gone to waste. Think of all the study you could've done,' I said sarcastically, knowing full well that all those hours would never have been spent studying. 'All the girls you could've chatted up.'

'With no intention of ever bedding them,' Sirius added. 'Typical.'

'What's typical?'

'You know that saying, careful what you wish for…'

'You might actually get it,' I finished.

'I got it,' Sirius said bitterly, blowing out a large cloud of smoke.

'What's 'it'?'

He hesitated for a moment. 'I wanted to have sex with James.'

'You shagged James?'

Sirius shifted a little uncomfortably. 'He shagged me would be more accurate I think…'

'So…what's wrong?'

'It's…I love him Moony, I know I shouldn't. It's fucked up. But he just thinks I want sex. That's all he wants. In the absence of his dear Lilyflower, he needs someone to fuck and give him blow jobs…and I'll do it for him. That's what's worse. I hate what we're doing but I don't want it to stop.'

I just nodded, pretty much at a loss for words. I took another drag on the cigarette.

'God, I'm perverted. Aren't I Moony?' he whispered, horrified at hearing his situation out loud.

'What?' I said sharply, but I couldn't help my voice from wavering. 'You're not Sirius. Pads, you're not.'

'Thanks Moony…'

There was a moment of silence as we both looked up towards the sky.

'I only wish there wasn't a shake in your voice when you told me that,' he said in the quietest of tones.

AN: there it is, there'll be two more chapters in this fic, then another fic after that. I hope you'll like it, reviews are love :D