This was written for amagicalshipper during the Secret Santa of thebarsondaily on Tumblr. Thanks to thebarsondaily/untapdtreasure who betaed this piece! :)
I hope you all like it :)
The Best Present Of All
Olivia brushed the snow off her coat after entering the apartment, releasing a sigh of relief about finally being home. She'd wanted to leave the precinct early to benefit from Rafael having taken the afternoon off, but first, a new case had arrived, and then she'd been forced to experience the mandatory traffic chaos that happened when it started snowing.
Luke Skywhisker – Rafael and Noah had spent hours on the internet to find the name – purred as he pressed his warm body against her leg briefly as he walked by, and she knelt down, caressing his soft fur before unlacing her boots. From the living area of their apartment, she could hear soft Christmas music, but otherwise, it was rather quiet – Rafael seemed to have found a way to keep the kids busy. A smile played around her lips as she walked into the room, and she still felt a little bit of disbelief about the sight being true as she spotted Noah and Ava sitting at the dining table with their crayons and a lot of paper. Rafael was in the kitchen area, stirring two mugs of hot chocolate while keeping an eye on their kids.
For many years, Olivia hadn't thought she would ever have a family of her own – one failed relationship after the other had darkened her hopes of finding the right man for her, and her job had made the thought of having children nearly impossible. And so she sometimes caught herself thinking how she didn't dare to believe that everything she'd lost hope about had now come true forher.
She'd adopted Noah and had felt like the happiest person in the world – he'd made her whole again after all the horrible things she'd been through.
Then, Rafael and she had finally found the courage to confess their feelings for each other, and they'd both found the kind of partner in each other that they hadn't thought they would ever find. He made her happy, their passion was still simmering, and they were an unbeatable team, at work and at home.
And not so long ago, they'd taken some more big steps, with Rafael adopting Noah, and only weeks ago, Ava's adoption had been finalised. Seeing Noah as a proud big brother who insisted on reading the bedtime stories or Rafael braiding her hair was making her forget about all the darkness she'd endured in her life, and she found that she couldn't be happier.
"Captain Benson," Rafael said, winking at her with a smirk as he spotted her standing in the doorway, staring at the three best things that had ever happened to her. He abandoned the mugs and came over, pulling her to him and kissing her softly. "We'd hoped you'd come home sooner. New case?"
"Yeah," Olivia replied with a sigh, then she decided not to think about it – she was home now, and she definitely had better things to do. She could think about work tomorrow morning, she decided; wrapping her arms around Rafael's neck, she kissed him again, letting her lips linger against his for a few moments. "Will you make me a hot chocolate, too?"
"For you, I'd do anything, mi amor."
With a playful dramatic gesture, Rafael turned around to make his way back to the kitchen while Olivia moved to give Ava and Noah kisses on the head, asking curiously: "What are you doing?"
"We're writing our letters to Santa Claus. Papí said that it's the best way to make sure that he really gets our wishes for Christmas," Noah explained while Olivia examined the piece of paper lying in front of Ava; Noah had obviously written the letter for her, his slightly crooked second-grader handwriting being easy to recognise, and now Ava was decorating every white spot that was left on the paper.
"That looks awesome," she said softly, and Ava turned her head to smile brightly at her. Then, she pointed at a small picture of several persons at the top of the paper.
"That's us and Santa."
Rafael gently sat down the mugs of hot chocolate in front of the kids and proceeded to grab Olivia's from the kitchen, briefly throwing a glance at the clock. "It's bedtime soon, so how far are you?"
"Nearly done, Papí," Noah answered after throwing a critical glance at his letter. "And you'll send them to Santa?"
"Yes, I'll send them off first thing in the morning." Rafael gently ruffled Noah's hair before wrapping an arm around Olivia's waist, pulling her against him. "We already had dinner. Do you want me to warm up the leftovers for you?"
She nodded lightly and followed him over to the kitchen, slinging her arms around him from behind while he started heating the contents of a pan. Pressing a kiss to his neck, she suddenly chuckled and said: "I'm just trying to imagine the faces of the people if they knew how soft El Tiburón can be."
"I vaguely remember you saying this before," Rafael replied, stirring the Paella and leaning against her. "To be exact, probably over a dozen times, and I still answer that they'll never know. You are the only ones who'll ever see me like that."
While Olivia was eating, Rafael put the kids to bed – though Noah insisted on reading Ava's bedtime story, so Rafi's job only consisted of making sure they'd brushed their teeth and were tucked in – and he later joined her on the couch, holding the two envelopes that contained Noah's and Ava's letters to Santa. A content sigh escaped her as she snuggled up against his chest, her legs lying over his lap, and Rafael placed a kiss on her temple.
"How was work today?" His fingers started playing with a lock of her chestnut hair and she smiled.
"It was okay. I mostly had paperwork to do today, and Amanda and Carisi found some new leads we need to discuss tomorrow."
"I have court at eight in the morning, but you could come over at ten."
"I'll do just that, Counselor," Olivia whispered with a smirk, then she decided that they'd talked enough about work for the day; pushing herself up, she started kissing him, and Rafael's fingers found their way underneath her blouse.
OoO
On Saturday afternoon, the Benson-Barba family went Christmas tree hunting, though Ava and Noah were more occupied with throwing some of the freshly fallen snow at each other than helping their parents pick a nice tree. So, Olivia and Rafael picked one by themselves, finding that that sped things up significantly, as the kids weren't complaining about it being too small – they'd been through that the previous years with Noah.
It wasn't easy to navigate through the streets of New York while carrying a tree and trying to keep two excited children under control – Olivia felt like they'd spent too much time with Munch lately, they were getting rebellious.
She didn't know how, but they managed to convince the kids to play in Noah's room while they set up the tree, and so they got that done in a matter of minutes. They were then able to relax for a short time before they had to start cooking, as Lucia was coming over for lunch. They tried to do that as often as possible – as Lucia wouldn't stop complaining otherwise – and the kids also loved their abuela and the funny stories about Rafael's childhood she always told them.
OoO
That Sunday was reserved for decorating the Christmas tree, but at first, it didn't seem like it would be the quiet and relaxed affair Olivia and Rafael had imagined it to be. Boxes with ornaments littered the floor, and the Christmas lights had been eagerly pulled from their box by Ava and had nearly caused Rafael to break his neck as his feet tangled in them. Mister Skywhisker, who'd been lying in the heap of lights in that moment, had thrown Rafael a disapproving glare while Noah quickly placed his hands over Ava's ears as Rafael uttered a string of curses.
"Papí, you're not supposed to say these things in front of us," Noah scolded him while Olivia started to giggle, breaking through the little shock she'd been in when she saw Rafael stumbling. "What's Santa going to think if he finds out about this?"
"It's okay. He knows that I sometimes let you watch TV after eight o'clock," Rafael grumbled, then Noah and he exchanged a guilty glance. "But Mamí didn't know..."
Olivia shook her head but found herself unable to stop grinning as she looked at Rafael, saying with a really pathetic stern tone: "We'll talk about this later, Counselor. I can't believe you and your son are conspiring behind my back!"
"Technically, it's not behind your back, as you weren't at home at all," Rafael pointed out, a crooked smirk on his face as Noah and he attempted to untangle his foot from the lights and then started to remove some of the knots in the chain.
"Don't try to talk your way out of this!" Olivia grumbled while kneeling down next to Ava, who was occupying herself with pulling the silver tinsel out of the plastic bag it had been stored in. "Ava, sweetie, the tinsel comes last. Why don't you sit with me and criticise the way Papí and Noah put up the lights?"
Rafael and Noah exchanged some glances while Olivia lifted Ava onto her lap and pressed a kiss on her long, brown hair. Ava was still holding a fist full of tinsel, turning her hand and admiring how it glittered in the light. Some loving bickering was exchanged in the next minutes, but then the lights were placed to everyone's satisfaction,and Rafael kissed her while the kids unwrapped the star they would put on top of the tree.
"To my defense, Noah can be very persuasive and stubborn if he wants to be," he whispered into her ear, his fingers sneaking into her grey cardigan and playing with the hem of her t-shirt. "Just like someone else I happen to know."
"What a coincidence, I know someone like that, too." She teased him with a wink, but before they could steal another kiss from each other, Ava interrupted them by exclaiming that she wanted to put the star on the tree. The small girl was looking at them with her pleading brown eyes, stretching the hand holding the silver star as high as she could, but of course, it wasn't enough.
"Come here, princesa," Rafael said, kneeling down after letting go of Liv, and Ava hopped into his arms. Olivia felt her heart skip a beat as she watched him lift their daughter so she could put the star where it belonged – if someone had told her a few years ago that Rafael Barba would become one of the best father figures she could think of for Noah and Ava, she would have laughed. Back then, he'd held Noah like he was a ticking time bomb, and he'd had absolutely no idea how to treat a little child.
But when he'd told her that he loved her, he'd said that he knew that Olivia and Noah were a package deal and that he wanted them both. And over time, he'd bonded a lot with Noah – like in the courtroom, he'd faced things straightforward, and Noah taking a liking to him very quickly had definitely made it easier for him. The first time Noah had called him 'Papí', she'd had tears in her eyes. When Rafael had hugged Noah tightly, he'd claimed that he had something in his eye.
She loved this side of Rafael that only she got to see – the loving father who broke his workaholic habits to spend more time with his kids, who could sing nearly every Disney song and dressed up with them on Halloween.
A smile was exchanged between them as Rafael sat down on the couch with her and pulled her closer as they watched the kids hanging up the tree decorations. Rafael's thumb was drawing patterns onto her wrist, and his breath was tickling her neck, driving her a little crazy – she knew he was doing this on purpose – when Noah suddenly asked: "Are you sure that our letters to Santa Claus will arrive in time?"
"Of course, mijo. I sent them off the morning after you wrote them. Why are you worried?"
Ava and Noah exchanged a worried glance, then Noah explained: "Well, my teacher said that it snows a lot at the North Pole and that it is hard to get the mail there."
Olivia could feel Rafael tensing up and literally hear the wheels in his head turning as he searched for an appropriate answer while Noah and Ava stared at them with curious expressions.
"This better be good, Counselor," she mumbled under her breath. Rafael immediately pushed his foot against hers. His body was still tense, but as he spoke, he sounded as confident as he always did when he was in court.
"Well, Santa has thousands of elves helping him. With their elf magic, they make sure that every single letter will arrive in time. And you know, Santa also has a list with every kid's name on would definitely notice if your letters were missing. Well, and if your letter is missing, he calls me or mummy."
She wasn't entirely sure that the kids would buy it, but still she tried to keep a straight face so Rafael's explanation would at least have a chance. Noah bit his lip, and Olivia could feel some anticipation building inside of her, relief immediately washing over her when Noah nodded slowly and said, "Okay, Papí... But if you opened our letters, you broke the privacy of correspondence."
Olivia turned her head to look at Rafael's flabbergasted expression, snorting in amusement and patting his arm. "Oh, he's definitely spent enough time with you lately."
OoO
Monday morning came way too fast, and Olivia could tell that Rafael was feeling tempted to join Noah when the boy sat down by the Christmas tree, arms folded in front of his chest and pouting while exclaiming that he didn't want to go to school today. There were so many things they still wanted to do before Christmas – baking cookies, picking presents for Lucia and Lucy...
But before Rafael could drop his briefcase and join the protest – Ava was too excited for her daycare's activities to think about staying at home – she grabbed his arm and glared at him, indicating for him to use subtle force to get Noah to get ready.
It took some subtle persuasion and, definitely some time before, he obeyed, and they were running late for their respective morning meetings – something Rafael called a catastrophe, as they weren't able to pick up coffee on their way. Liv knew that whoever would approach him with some annoying matter would be scarred for life.
Rafael was too busy to join her and the squad for lunch, and so she grabbed a few case files he would need and made her way towards One Hogan Place late in the afternoon, picking up two coffees and a muffin on her way. When she entered his office, he was sitting at the conference table with his laptop, sleeves rolled up and his tie slightly loosened, looking at her as if she were an angel as she handed him the coffee.
"You, Olivia Benson, can read my mind," he whispered in a grateful and loving tone as she leaned down to kiss him, causing her to smile knowingly against his lips.
While Rafael took a big gulp of the dark liquid, she sat down next to him and threw a glance at his laptop, frowning slightly. "Rafi... I didn't know that any of the cases you're working on requires research about Star Wars fan articles."
Rafael cocked an eyebrow at her before shoving two pieces of paper towards her over the table – they looked oddly familiar, and upon taking a closer look, she realised that she was holding Ava's and Noah's letters to Santa.
"Wait, you didn't send them to Santa?" Olivia gasped with a fake surprised expression, her brown eyes wide, and Rafael rolled his eyes.
"May I remind you who told Noah about the Tooth Fairy?"
"Touché, Counselor. So, why don't you enlighten me on what you're doing?"
They smirked at each other for a moment, then Rafael pointed at Noah's letter. At the bottom, the boy had written that the biggest of all his wishes was to become a real Jedi. Olivia frowned, pondering how relatively impossible that wish was, and why Rafael hadn't realised that yet.
"So, I tried to find out if there is a place where you can basically go through Jedi training, but there's nothing in the area that would be suitable for a child. That's why I thought about finding a way to make it possible that he can visit the set of the next Star Wars movie."
"Rafael, as much as your determination enchants me, I have to tell you that this is im..."
"Oh, don't say the bad word, nothing is impossible, Liv," Rafael interrupted her, giving her a cocky grin. "Some beautiful, tough and intelligent NYPD officer I know once said that I can be very persuasive if I want to be."
Olivia sighed, shaking her head, but still, she couldn't keep herself from smiling softly. She couldn't deny that it was adorable how he tried to make the wishes of his kids come true. Like her, he was trying to give them everything he hadn't had as a child, and she felt like it was making him the best father she could have wished for.
"Who are you, and what have you done with Rafael Barba?" She gently poked his forearm, a playfully mocking grin on her face now. "Wasting your time at work with doing research on private stuff. You were such a workaholic once. You've gotten soft."
His eyes had widened in surprise, but his trademark smirk returned as Olivia pressed a kiss on his lips and whispered: "I love you even more for doing this."
"You've been a good influence on me, Captain."
"Of course I am."
"Oh, so little modesty," Rafael mumbled against her lips before claiming them in a short but passionate kiss. "Are you going to help me?"
"No way. This was your idea."
"Oh, come on, Liv. You're only afraid of failing. Imagine me taking all the credit if I manage to make it happen."
"You think you can pull the kids onto your side, huh?" Olivia hissed, her fingers playing with his tie, and she felt tempted to brush the conversation away to do something else, but she still remembered the last time that had happened;Carmen still couldn't look her in the eyes, and Rafael and her had sworn they would get her an extra big Christmas present and would keep themselves under control in the future.
"Noah is already tempted by the dark side of the force. It's only a matter of time." Rafael chuckled softly, holding her gaze, and she bit her lower lip in an attempt to keep her mind from wandering off.
"I can't let you be the hero alone," she argued, cocking her head to the side as the tip of her nose brushed against his. "Also, you'll probably achieve more if I help you."
"So you're going to be on my team, Captain?"
"Better get out your credit card, Dad," Olivia whispered, her voice husky and luring, causing Rafael's green eyes to darken ever so slightly.
"You have no idea how much that sentence turns me on."
He leaned forwards to steal a kiss, but Olivia shifted out of the way, causing him to look slightly goofy in mid-air, but he recovered quickly, a tiny pout on his lips while she inspected the notes he'd taken so far.
"I think I already have an idea for this," she said after a long moment of silence, swatting Rafael's hand away as it tried to sneak its way under her blouse. "And what is Ava's impossible wish?"
"She wants to be a ninja because they're cool and can protect themselves."
They exchanged a glance, not sure what they were supposed to think about this wish – Ava had been in a few foster families that had been abusive before child services had intervened and removed her from the homes. She'd been treated by a psychologist before being considered fit for adoption, and it seemed like she barely remembered any of the abuse, but Olivia felt like something had stuck with her. A feeling of unease, maybe, simmering underneath the surface in new situations, and the lighthearted atmosphere between Rafael and her vanished suddenly.
"Hey, Liv," Rafael whispered softly, taking her hand into his and pressing a kiss onto her knuckles. His gaze was comforting and reassuring as their eyes met. "I think that this means something good. You know why she got that idea?"
A tiny smile lifted the corners of Olivia's mouth as she remembered the many times she'd stood in the door of Ava's room listening to Noah's bedtime stories for his little sister. "Noah reads her ninja books."
"And he tells her about how strong her Mamí is and that she chases the bad guys. Now Ava thinks that you're a ninja, disguised as a mum," Rafael explained with a small chuckle in his voice, and Olivia joined in, sniffing while wiping a stray tear away. "So she really just wants to be like you. Because Noah said that you're never afraid of anything."
"If he only knew," Olivia mumbled, starting to slowly smile again which caused Rafael to move forwards and gently kiss her.
"Do I have to tell you again, Liv? You're the bravest, strongest and fiercest person I ever met, and if our daughter makes you her role model, I couldn't be happier. We'll worry about the rest later."
"Like the whole 'Is Santa real' thing?"
Rafael laughed and pulled her close. Olivia buried her head in his shoulder and thanked the universe that Rafael was with her every step of the way, being everything she needed.
OoO
"Abuela!" Ava and Noah exclaimed as they opened the door for Lucia Barba on the late afternoon of Christma Eve. They'd barely turned their attention away from the Christmas tree during the day, thinking that Santa might arrive any moment, but now, they were getting distracted. Lucia hugged and kissed them, a huge smile on her face. She loved having grandchildren, and Rafael and Olivia sometimes asked themselves when she would bluntly ask them for another one.
"Oh, you two look wonderful," Lucia exclaimed after inspecting their outfits, causing Noah to grin smugly as he ran a finger over his tartan bow tie that matched his socks perfectly – an obvious sign of how much Rafael had rubbed off on him.
"We did build a snowman with Jesse today! He's huge!" Ava piped up in excitement, and Lucia smiled knowingly.
"Why don't you two grab your coats? Then we go over to the park so you can show me your snowman while Mamí and Papí prepare dinner, huh?"
Olivia could see a brief skeptical look flash across Noah's features while Ava moved to grab her coat, excited about the idea of going to the park. Originally, Rafael and she had intended to put the presents under the tree the previous night, but unfortunately, the kids had suddenly decided that they wanted to cuddle, causing them to fall asleep in their parent's bed. And so, Rafael had quickly texted his mother before she would arrive so they would still manage to make the presents appear out of nowhere.
Rafael meanwhile felt like Noah was suspecting that Santa wasn't as real as they tried to make him believe – something that he was sure had already started last Christmas. Back then, they'd been able to persuade Fin to go into their apartment and put the presents under the tree while they took Noah ice skating in Central Park. However, Fin had accidentally lost his gloves on the way out, and Noah had found them. He'd probably recognised them as his Uncle Fin had taken him to the park several times that winter when Olivia and Rafael had been occupied at work, trying to catch a serial rapist.
So they felt like the Santa story was starting to receive cracks, and this suspicion was fueled by the cocked eyebrow their son gave them as Lucia, his sister, and he returned a rough hour later and found the presents under the tree. But even though he seemed to realise that the physical existence of Santa wasn't possible, he didn't say anything but smiled softly and asked if they'd seen Santa, obviously to keep the illusion up for Ava.
Even though he was too young to know or hear what had happened to Ava before she'd come to them, he seemed to sense that her past was a dark one, and Olivia and Rafael felt overwhelming pride whenever their boy did something to make Ava believe that there were still wonders in the world. It was as if his favourite sound was his sister's laugh, and Rafael claimed that he had a speck of dust in his eye as Noah whispered into Ava's ear that he was sure that he'd seen a reindeer on the roof of their apartment complex when they'd returned from the park.
Their Christmas dinner was an affair full of laughter, and after her second glass of wine, Lucia started to tell the kids stories about mischief that their father had committed when he'd been a child. After eating, Lucia read the kids a Christmas story, and they sang a few carols they'd been taught in the school and daycare for them, giggling whenever they hit the wrong tune or forgot the words. Noah also recited a funny Christmas poem, keeping the atmosphere light and joyful. He claimed that as it was Jesus' birthday, they were supposed to laugh and that he didn't like to go to church, as the people there were so serious about it.
And then, Ava and Noah were finally allowed to open their presents, something they of course didn't need to be told twice. Noah got a new bow tie from Lucia, and he seemed to love the blue and white paisley pattern, announcing that he would have to have a look if Rafael had a similar one in his closet. He also received a few new books and toys, as well as a self-made card and decorated mug from Ava, which was something their daycare teacher had organised.
However, all of that seemed to fade into the background when he opened the last box that was for him. His eyes started to gleam, and his mouth opened wide when he saw the Jedi clothes, the light saber, and the attached card inviting him to his introduction into the Jedi order.
"Dad," he stuttered, looking from the card to his parents, rubbing his eyes as if this had to be a dream. Rafael only grinned, the corners of his eyes crinkling, as he nodded.
"And I still haven't gotten my Hogwarts letter," Olivia mumbled under her breath, shaking her head over the excitement that was passing between her boys.
Ava was trying on her new skates – when they'd first taken her to the ice rink, she'd soon turned out to be rather talented, not falling once, and she'd told them that she wanted to do this every day, while Noah, an angry expression on his face, had rubbed his butt, which he'd fallen onto a dozen times by then. She was quieter than Noah, but her smile was just as wide, and Olivia could barely tear her eyes away from the sight. Lucia gently patted her hand, as if she knew what was going through her head, and they shared a brief smile while Ava moved on to her last present.
A puzzled expression crossed her face as her small fingers lifted the lid of the box and white fabric was revealed. She blinked, then looked at Rafael and Olivia, asking curiously: "What's this?"
Noah, seemingly having recovered from his shock, moved over to her and the box as he held his lightsaber and said, after inspecting the little card lying on top of the fabric, "It's a Karate Gi."
Ava didn't seem to understand, so Noah added: "It's what ninja's wear, only in white. I think Santa thinks you can be a good ninja, so he wants you to become one."
Immediately, her face lit up, and Olivia winked at her with a secretive expression, causing her daughter to giggle.
OoO
The snow had long melted as Olivia and Amanda sat on a bench in Central Park, coffees in hand as Jesse and Ava sat next to them. Ava was wearing her Karate Gi under her jacket, as Olivia had just picked her up from the training, and she was telling Jesse about what she'd learned today, excitement filling her voice.
"She seems to like karate a lot," Amanda said, a smile on her lips, and Olivia nodded, a smirk curling her lips.
"She now wants to be an ice princess ninja."
The two women chuckled lightly, and then directed their gazes back to the meadow in front of them to where Sonny and Noah were sitting cross-legged, both wearing a Jedi costume. Sonny seemed to be lecturing him about something, and Noah was hanging at his every word as his gleaming eyes showed off just how much he loved what had been planned for him.
Suddenly, a group of tourists close to them jumped apart with squeals of surprise, and the Imperial March was played, directing everyone's attention to the man who was striding down the path. His black cloak was billowing behind him dramatically, and his red lightsaber was glowing as Rafael quickly approached Sonny and Noah, who had jumped to their feet upon noticing the 'Sith'.
"I'm asking myself whose Christmas present this really was. I mean, Barba seems to be enjoying himself a bit too much, considering that he claimed earlier he's only doing this for Noah," Amanda mumbled while the three engaged in a lightsaber duel, and Olivia chuckled in amusement.
"Oh, this is as much for him as it was for Noah. What can I say? They love Star Wars."
"You can't win, young Padawan! Come to the dark side, and I can show you powers bigger than you can imagine!" Rafael roared while Noah deflected a blow, and Olivia wasn't sure if he was aware of the dozens of tourists filming Noah and him. Sonny now lay on the ground, having been 'killed', and now he made grimaces at Jesse and Ava to make them laugh.
"No, I will never surrender to the dark side," Noah exclaimed, a fierce expression on his face as he picked up Sonny's lightsaber as well.
"I am your father!"
"He's been dying to say that line, hasn't he?" Amanda asked before taking a sip of her coffee, taking a few snapshots of the spectacle with her phone at the same time.
"Yep," Olivia replied shortly, a bright smile on her face as she watched her two favourite boys in the world continue to play. And she was more than sure that she'd finally found the happiness she'd been searching for her entire life – it had only taken some time. But waiting had been worth it, as she now had the best present of all – her dream job, the love of her life, and two wonderful children.