Almost awake
Welcome to my newest haitus mc! Where I get to play with where things could go from here. Canon compliant through the end of the season and taking off from where we left our beloved heroes! Killian's back, but it's not that simple (is it ever?) When the underworld still lurks behind his closed eyes, will they be able to face what Storybrooke is throwing at them.
Thanks to Nothingimposisbleonlyimprobable for the title, endless betaing and support, you're the best!
Her feet didn't touch the ground again until Granny whistled at them and offered her a savior's discount on a room (10% off for every time she'd saved the world.) They broke apart laughing and Emma turned toward Granny, "and how many times would that be now?"
"Oh, I've lost count. But there is the matter of the busted fryers to account for still, so maybe we're even."
Emma grinned, "Hey, it was not my idea to take the whole building to Camelot," she nodded toward Hook, "put it on his tab."
"Oh, don't think I won't!" Granny called back, stepping into the diner behind her patrons.
"Perhaps we should consider celebrating elsewhere, love," Killian commented, "before she starts thinking up creative ways for me to settle my debt."
"I don't know about celebrating," Emma replied, "That nap I promised is sounding really fantastic right now."
"Ah, well then perhaps an escort home? This is a …" he scratched behind his ear and Emma's smile grew wider, "a dangerous town."
She reached for his hand and laced her fingers through his, "Don't worry, pirate, I'll protect you."
He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers, "I've no doubt."
She didn't loosen her grip on his fingers until she had tugged him safely through the door of their house. The comfortable silence suddenly felt strange, the entryway echoing with dark words that seemed from so long ago now and yet suddenly so close.
"Do you um...do you want a drink, Killian?"
"Fastest way to a pirate's heart, aye?" He regretted the words the instant they passed his lips but it was too late to prevent her face from falling. "I'm sorry- I just-"
"I know. It's… Do you want to go to the Jolly instead?" she asked. He smiled half-heartedly and she shook her head. "I guess I ruined that too didn't I? Our lunches…"
"You didn't ruin it, love," he glanced around the room. "This place, it was to be our future. Our… white picket fence life, as you put it."
"And now there's a dungeon in the basement."
"Aye," he chuckled, "there is indeed a dungeon in the basement."
"We don't have to stay here. We can go back to Granny's-"
"No, love, I meant this to be our safe harbor. I do not mean to yield it to dark memories."
"So we make new ones," Emma insisted, moving into the kitchen and finding two glasses. She poured a small amount into each but suddenly she put down the bottle with an abrupt thud. "Screw it. I don't want to drink."
Before he had time to say a word she was in his arms burying her face into his chest, breaths shaky. Killian closed his arms around her, hand rubbing up and down her back soothingly. The house was empty and quiet, but somehow the quiet didn't seem like such a bad thing when she could hear his heartbeat slow and steady under her ear.
"Come on, let's get some sleep. Before someone crashes through that door and tells us that Granny's is ablaze."
She nodded and he took her hand to lead her upstairs. He helped her out of her jacket, tossing it as well as his own onto a nearby chair. Emma toed off her boots and crawled onto the bed, not even bothering to get under the covers, much less consider changing into pajamas. Perhaps if she were less exhausted she would have found it more awkward, spending their first night in their own home... but at the moment she was too tired to feel anything but relief. She barely gave him the time to remove his own boots before she dragged him down next to her, eyelids already drooping, however much she struggled to keep them open.
He pressed a kiss to her forehead and she curled in closer to him. "Sleep, love," he draped his arm over her, hook toying carefully with her ponytail.
The whole thing still felt like a dream. Being back here with her was more than he'd thought possible when he'd walked down that white hallway. The one that was too vibrant, too bright to be anything of this world. He was still so tired, though. Too tired to be anything but alive.
None of this made any sense. Nothing had since the moment Arthur had walked into that diner. A quest, with the man who killed him. That somehow ended in him simply walking back into Storybrooke. It was insanity.
Maybe it is.
He tightened his arms around Emma. It didn't have to make sense. She's here, she's alive and he's-
Dead.
He could feel his heart beating in his chest, feel his lungs burn when he held his breath. He could feel the race of life in his veins but-
Wake up.
He closed his eyes and pulled Emma tighter. He shouldn't squeeze her so hard. She needed her rest, desperately. It had been weeks since she'd slept properly and if he wasn't careful he would deprive her of even this short respi-
She won't wake.
His eyes shot open to see the clouded eyes of the blind witch watching him with unnerving intensity.
"You know if you're going to sleep there I'll have to charge you extra?"
He shot upright in the booth looking around in horror, "No."
The blind witch smiled, "Aww, poor dear, I thought I smelled a good dream. They go away eventually."
"This can't be. How-?"
"Had something to do with Excalibur..." Killian turned just as Arthur slid into the booth. "I don't think I ever properly apologized for that."
"What am I doing here, where is Emma?"
"Captain?" Arthur asked quietly watching the pirate with concern, " Are you alright?"
"No. I'm not bloody alright, how the hell-"
Arthur stood and grabbed Killian's arm; leading him forcefully him out of the diner without another word. Killian managed to dislodge his grip just as Arthur gave him a shove into the wall outside.
"Pull yourself together, man," Arthur growled. "I don't know what the hell you're dreaming about but if they think you're cracking… they'll eat you alive down here. You know this."
"I was back. I was in Storybrooke, Zeus he sent me back-"
"Sounds like a lovely dream, Captain, but Zeus sent you back here. Apparently your business is not yet complete."
"No."
"Captain-"
"I need to see the book. Where is the book?"
"We hid it, yesterday," Arthur sighed. "How much of that swill did you drink last night?"
"Show me."
Arthur shook his head and led Killian down the street, eventually arriving outside Liam's bar. The book was hidden underneath and Killian snatched it when Arthur pointed it out.
Flipping through the pages Killian finally found a picture of Emma in front of a tombstone. His fingers drifted over the picture, lingering on her tearstained face. He tore his eyes from the picture to read the text next to it.
"I know I should be happy but it just feels like now you're really gone and there's nothing left to do but just... I miss you…"
Arthur placed his hand on Hooks' shoulder when he saw tears come to the pirate's eyes.
"I was there," Killian insisted, "how else would I know?" His eyes flicked to the next page, where Arthur could see another picture. A coffin covered in arrows fletched with roses. "How else would I have known?"
Arthur took the book from Killian's hand and set it on the bar carefully.
"These words... they appeared yesterday. We read them before hiding the book here. Then you did your best to empty whatever liquor was left in this place. Given the effect those words had on you it only seems fitting that they should make an appearance in your dreams."
"It wasn't a dream. I know it wasn't a dream." There was a look of pity in the King's eyes now and Killian looked away, the sight cutting him more deeply than any blade could. He sank onto a stool his head falling into his hand, "It wasn't a dream."
It wasn't a dream.
It wasn't a dream.
It's just a dream
"Killian, wake up. Killian!"
His eyes snapped open and Emma was hovering over him, her eyes wrinkled in concern. "Killian?"
He reached out and pulled her down, fusing his lips to hers in sudden desperation. "Hey," she whispered when he pulled away to breathe, "you're okay now."
His hand rose to her face and he brushed his fingers along her cheek, "You're here. You're… Swan…" He pulled her down again and held her tight. When he opened his eyes he saw that night had fallen while they slept and a grey predawn light was filtering in through the glass. He started, "Swan, your boy. I'm sorry, I didn't intend to sleep so long, I just…"
"Henry's fine. We already talked about it, he's spending some time with Regina. So she doesn't have to be alone right now."
"He's a good lad."
"He really is…" Emma smiled, but Killian looked distracted, his eyes flitting around the room like he was still trying to center himself. "Hey…" Emma asked, drawing his eyes back to her. "Do you wanna go walk? By the docks or something, I could use some fresh air." Killian nodded, obvious relief in his eyes.
He relaxed visibly by the water, breathing deeply the salty air. The sky was brightening gradually and Emma looked over at him, spotting shadows on his skin that she hadn't noticed the day before. She moved closer and raised one hand to his neck where she could see bruises developing, the obvious marks of fingers on his throat.
"What happened?" she asked.
"Hyde," he replied.
"My parents left that part out of the story," Emma grumbled, her hands beginning to glow as her magic soothed away the developing marks.
"Likely didn't wish to worry you. I seem to have the effect of inspiring murderous rage far too frequently for my own good."
"I, for one, can attest to that." They turned to face the new voice and saw David carrying Neal towards them.
"Dad, everything okay?"
"Oh yeah, Neal was just a little fussy. Thought we'd take a walk and let his mother sleep."
David walked with them for a while but before long Emma was yawning visibly, sorely missing her almost-morning coffee.
"You should go back to bed, love," Killian suggested. "I'm certain your father can keep me out of trouble for a short time."
"I'm fine, I'm awake" she protested, stifling another yawn.
Killian grinned and glanced down at Neal. "Tell your sister to get some sleep, will you lad?"
Neal obliged with come incoherent sleepy babbling and Emma laughed. "Well, if my brother insists." She kissed Killian and her father on the cheek and ruffled Neal's hair affectionately before hurrying back home in search of either coffee or bed, she hadn't quite decided which yet.
"Your neck," David commented. "Looks better. Emma fix that up for you?"
"She's a marvel."
"And you. Are you all right, Hook? You haven't really had much time to acclimate. Since… well… coming back."
"I'll survive."
David shook his head. "Don't you ever feel you're tempting fate, saying that all the time?"
Killian chuckled and the prince's eyes narrowed. "It's not funny." David peered at him with sudden intensity. "We buried you. Damn it, Killian, I attended two funerals in as many days… We lost you and Robin, Emma was heartbroken-"
"I'm sorry, mate. If I could have spared you…"
"I know." David shook his head. "I know you didn't intend to, but sometimes … Hook, I've seen you fight."
"I'm … not sure I'm following, mate."
"You're brave, and I respect that, truly. But you've spent 200 years fighting like someone who has nothing left to lose. You can't do that anymore. You have to protect your life, as you would hers now. Because living for her... that's part of true love. Do you understand?"
Killian nodded, unable to get any words past the lump that had risen in his throat.
"Good, because I'd really like to be done burying my friends," David glanced down at Neal who was finally sleeping contently, "and I think it's time I got Neal back to his warm bed."
Mate?
Are you even listening, mate?
"What the hell?" Killian exclaimed, looking around frantically. David, Neal, the docks were all gone, and in their place was the interior of a bar, dark wood panelling and deep red cloth-covered booths scattered around the room.
"More or less," Arthur replied with a shake of his head. "You seem really out of it, Jones. Perhaps you should drink something that didn't come out of a flask." He pushed a glass of water toward Killian, who reached for it with trembling fingers.
"Can't handle it like you used to, eh?" the King grinned as Killian downed the water in two long gulps then tossed the glass behind the bar where it splintered out of sight. Arthur raised his eyebrows.
"This is madness," Killian grumbled, glancing over at where the book lay open on the bar. "I have to wake up."
"Captain-" Arthur started.
"Don't," Killian snapped. "I don't know what this is, but just don't."
"Don't what? Don't tell you that you're raving like a madman? Denial, Captain. You once forced me to give up mine, I intend to repay that debt."
"I'm not mad," Killian whispered. "I was there."
"You were here," Arthur retorted in exasperation. "Tell me Hook, which seems the more likely tale? That it was a pleasant dream, or that the ruler of the gods themselves found himself enamored by your heroic quest and restored a dead heart to life? Just because he was feeling benevolent?"
"For my aid," Killian said defensively, "in defeating Hades…"
"And did I not aid in that quest? Am I not entitled to return to my queen, as payment for my share in the victory? And what of your friend? Was he not even more instrumental to the downfall of Hades than you or I? And yet your book speaks of a funeral?"
"Because the crystal destroys all trace of-"
"Or maybe it is because the dead have no place returning to the living?" Arthur sighed. "I am sorry you've lost your love, Captain, but living in a fantasy will not help you keep the promise you made her."
"And how exactly do you suggest I keep my promise?" Killian spat. "I don't… maybe I don't know how to move on without her."
"Let her go, Captain." Arthur said, his voice surprisingly gentle, "Put that book away and help me repair this broken kingdom. And then move on… as you promised her."
Killian nodded half-heartedly and Arthur shut the storybook, offering it to Killian. He accepted it carefully, tracing the words on the cover with his hook for a moment before returning it to its place below the bar.
"We should hurry, before Grumpy gets all the bacon."
Killian looked up in confusion and was once more greeted with familiar green eyes. For a moment his jaw dropped and he couldn't say a word.
"Killian?" Emma asked with a half-amused smile, "You haven't heard a word I've said have you?"
He looked around him, desperately trying to center himself in a world that no longer seemed stable under his feet. They were outside Granny's and the dawn light seemed to have broken through some time ago. He took a deep breath to steady himself before looking at Emma again. He'd seen a lot of crazy things in his time, but never had he managed to have a dream while walking down the street with the love of his life.
"David...?" he asked, "Where did he go?"
"David? I mean, I guess he went home. Look, I know you're tired, if you didn't want to have breakfast here you could have said no when I called you."
"You called me?" he asked, confused.
Emma's smile fell in an instant. She reached for his hand, squeezing gently. "Killian, what's going on?"
"I don't… I don't know what's happening to me."
"Hey," she whispered, pulling on his hand when he wouldn't meet her eyes. "Don't pull away from me, Killian. Talk to me. What do you mean?"
"I don't know, I don't … Emma does this seem strange to you. Zeus just decides to drop me back into Storybrooke. Right next to you, exactly the place I most want to be in all the realms?"
Emma tightened her grip on his hand. "I told you, I don't care how, I only care that you're home now."
"I need to know how."
"How you came back?" Emma's eyebrows furrowed, "I'm not sure it's a good idea to be questioning the goodwill of a god."
"I need to know. Emma this…" He hesitated for only a moment before resigning himself, she was going to think he was mad, more than likely. "I need to know this is real."
He'd hardly gotten the words out of his mouth before she had pulled him forward, pressing her lips to his in a kiss that made his heart... god, his heartbeat...pound in his ears. His arms wrapped around her instinctively and he could feel her fingers scratching through his hair as she pressed herself to him as closely as she could manage.
"Does that feel real," she challenged, eyes sparkling.
His reply was hardly more than a croak and the word 'yes' never made it past his lips before she was kissing him again. It felt real. It felt more real than anything he'd felt in centuries…
"Emma," he groaned when she pulled away, "don't go. Please."
"Killian, talk to me," she begged, "let me help you."
"Where's your boy?" Killian asked, and the look on her face told him that this was yet another thing that he should have known.
"He was going to meet us here, have breakfast with us."
"Can we go home?" he asked quietly.
She pulled out her phone, presumably to text Henry. then reached out and took his hand; in an instant their surroundings changed and panic made his stomach clench.
No!
His breath came faster and his heart… his heart… he could still feel his heart pounding? Could still feel her arms around his neck and when the smoke cleared she was still here.
He looked away from her and he knew the moment that he did so that it was the last thing in the world he should have done. In an instant her hand was on his cheek forcing his eyes back to her. "Killian?" she asked, eyebrows furrowing when she saw the panic in his eyes.
"You'll think me mad. Hell, Emma, I think me mad."
"Tell me."
"I keep going back. Emma, I close my eyes and you're gone and I'm back trapped in the underworld with no way back to you."
"I know, Killian-"
"No, you don't. I'm not speaking in some bloody metaphor. I have no memory of anything that happened after speaking to your father this morning." He watched her cautiously for any sign of disbelief but she kept her face carefully calm.
"Like...like a memory curse?" she asked.
"Not a memory curse. Emma. I don't remember because I remember something else. I remember being back in the underworld." She went very still for a moment, and he resisted the sudden urge to shake her, to make her say something. To make her feel the terror clawing its way through his gut when he thought that at any moment he might be pulled back…
"Whatever magic this is, we'll figure it out," she said calmly. A breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding came out in a sigh of relief.
I'm not mad. I'm not mad. I'm not mad.
"Tell me, love," he said, his voice just above a whisper. "When I'm… here. Am I behaving ... like myself?"
She shrugged, "You didn't really say much, but I assumed you were… just tired." He wasn't sure if her answer relieved or terrified him. "Maybe it's a… a different kind of memory curse," she offered uncertainly.
He took a shaky breath. "I can't go back there, Emma," he whispered. "I can't keep bouncing between two worlds. I'm… " He swallowed hard, looking down quickly before snapping his gaze back up to her, afraid beyond words that losing sight of her would send him instantly back to the Underworld. She reached out her hand, softly touching his cheek as she watched him, waiting. "I'm afraid I'm losing my mind," he managed finally.
She shook her head and pulled him into a tight hug. "You are not losing your mind, Killian Jones. We will figure out who is doing this, and stop them, like we always do." She paused considering, "Maybe we can find something in the library?"
Killian chuckled grimly, "Ah yes, the library. Mountains of dusty texts will certainly solve our dilemma" Emma's expression fell and Killian swallowed hard, "I'm sorry. That was... I didn't-"
"You're right," she interrupted. "I'm not exactly an expert on history of magic. I have no idea where to start. Gold is missing, Regina's … well I don't think either of them are in a particularly helpful mood right now. But Killian this started after Gold tied the town's magic to the crystal. Right? Maybe something went wrong. Maybe-"
Killian nodded, "Maybe it's time for us to hunt down a crocodile."
"I prefer furs, to scales, darling."
Killian winced, keeping his eyes closed a moment longer in stubborn denial of what he knew he would see when he opened them. His closed eyes did not keep the red light of the underworld from his eyes, and they certainly didn't keep the smug tones of Cruella's voice from his ears. "Where's the book, my delectable darlings?"
Alrighty then my delectable darlings, so Killian's a little crazy?
Next chapter up soon. Everything's written, but I have a love affair with last minute editing about 30000 times.