Torn
Summary: A look into Sam's thoughts. Sam/'Bee, Sam/'Cade, Cover Me fanfiction
A/N: I didn't have that much trouble with writing this, but...
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Sam was torn.
Bumblebee was his best friend, his companion, his guardian. He had stuck with him since they had met, protecting him. Bumblebee had defended him when he had gotten in trouble, risked his own life to protect his. Sam would trust Bumblebee with his life, and more. He knew the yellow 'Bot almost as well as he knew himself, and he knew the kindness and compassion his friend showed was more than could be expected of him, especially considering the torture that Sector Seven had put him through.
Protector, saviour, guardian, friend. There were so many words to describe what Bumblebee was to him, and yet none of them really suited. Bumblebee was more than just a friend, and more than just someone assigned to protect him. Bumblebee protected Sam not because of his orders, not because he had to. He protected Sam because he wanted to; because Sam was his friend.
Sam knew should their positions be reversed, he would do the same.
When his feelings for his Autobot guardian grew, Sam was worried. Not for himself, or for rejection- He was worried his feelings would interfere with, strain and worse break the friendship he had with his guardian. That wasn't something he could allow to happen. No, he had to keep his feelings hidden, for the sake of their friendship.
So he kept the feelings hidden, locked them away in an obscure corner of his soul.
Then Barricade came into the picture.
He had rescued the 'Con out of pity. He simply couldn't stand it, to see someone injured and left alone. No one deserved such a fate. Sam felt sick just thinking that it was Starscream, someone from his own faction, who had beat him nearly to death and left him to die. Had Sam not helped him, Barricade was likely to be dead by now.
Barricade had stayed with him in his home, and because of that, he ended up getting to know the 'Con better. Barricade was... Barricade. There simply wasn't any way to better describe him. He was unpredictable and wild, nothing like the Autobots. And because of that, Sam liked him.
Where 'Bee was light, 'Cade was dark. Barricade hid his feelings well. He shoved them away in favour of fighting and war; but Sam could tell there was more to the 'Con that just fighting and brutality. The 'Con had his own sense of honour. The mech held his own secrets and mysteries, and in a strange way, Sam found himself attracted to that. However, underneath the shell the 'Con kept around him Sam could feel there was a lot more than that.
Sam didn't know when he'd begun to develop feelings for Barricade. He simply realised it at one point. Bumblebee was kind and caring- Barricade was his contrast. Under the gruff exterior, though, Sam knew that Barricade had the same kind of kindness the Autobot scout did, although it was only shown to a few, the few that managed to break through his shell. Barricade wasn't cruel, he was simply hardened by war.
However, with Barricade, the feelings that he had locked up inside of him came out again. The old feelings for Bumblebee mixed in with the new feelings for Barricade, leaving Sam torn and confused, with no clear way to interpret what he was feeling.
Despite the turmoil in his heart, he decided to once again lock away his feelings, thinking it could only be in the best interest of his friends.
Then came Will and Ironhide.
They took the last vestiges of the will that was holding his feelings in place and simply tore it apart. Sam hid his feelings because he believed that relationships between himself and his Cybertronian friends were impossible, because of species, because of size, because of gender. He'd believed it impossible, and Will and Ironhide had proven him wrong. That tore apart the foundation, the foundation on which he had built the safe that held his feelings locked up tight. It had been that belief that had held his feelings inside, a belief now shattered, and along with it the safe. His feelings wormed their way out to the surface, escaping the confines he had set for them.
His emotions reigned freely now... And Sam had never felt more free, or more trapped.
Along with all of that came one emotion that he had locked in along with all the others. For the first time in a while, Sam began to hope. Hope that a relationship was possible, hope that he wouldn't be rejected outright... Hope that his feelings could be returned.
But between Barricade and Bumblebee... How could he possibly make a choice?
Who did he like more? Was he even willing to make a choice, and if he did, would the mech in question return his feelings?
There was still one thing, one fact that was holding him back, and it was that he didn't want to hurt either of them. Couldn't hurt either of them. How could he pick one, and leave the other in the dust? How could he stand to see the other mech in pain?
How could he choose between the two mechs, both of whom had changed his life? How could he make a choice between the two most important people in his life?
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A/N: ...It ended up way too short!