Alright, I finished it! This fanfic (which I ended in record time) was written for Cagalli Christmas Project, at The-Princess-Of-Orb group in Minitokyo (dot) net. Phew, I thought I'll never finish. But I sure hope it's a pleasant reading for everyone. Please, do bear with any mistakes that you might find, since this is still unbetaed and my beta is not going to read it 'til Sunday. Sorry about that. And for the people who might wonder, I'll be updating my other fics before New Year. So, Merry Christmas to all!
Disclaimer: If I owned GSD, then something very different would have happened. So, yeah, you know the drill.
Just read and enjoy! Comments are very much appreciated!
The gift
"I just wish I stayed in bed today".
I had to say that out loud. It's not like this lousy day is going to turn any better after saying it, but somehow… somehow it relieves me to know that I know that my life sucks… does that make any sense at all…?
"Cagalli-sama…"
Now how many times have I told this woman not to startle me like that? What's the purpose of having a secretary if she keeps calling me every second? And what was that chill running down my spine?
"Yes?" I look at the clock on the wall, which reads 10:01 "I thought the meeting was scheduled for after lunch."
"It's not that, Cagalli-sama." She answers in a confused voice that reminds me why we blondes have such a bad reputation. "You have a call waiting."
"And you haven't transferred it because…?" I swear, I've become patient just for the sake of this woman. Who would believe it?
"Because you told me earlier this morning that you did not wish to be disturbed 'til lunch."
Right. At least she can remember some of the stuff I tell her. She's not completely useless, I'll give her that.
"But you still disturbed me." I have to smile just to imagine her red face.
"Cagalli-sama…" she sounds as embarrassed as I expect her to be "it's your brother."
"And if you don't transfer him within the next five seconds" I almost roar into the intercom "I'll make sure I'll never have to hear your voice again."
"Ye… yes, Cagalli-sama!"
She is also pretty good of a distraction when I'm in such a bad mood. Her frightened voice shrieking 'Yes, Cagalli-sama!' is priceless. God. I think this princess-representative status is beginning to turn me into a dictator or sorts.
I can see Kira's face on the screen before I can count to ten. I guess she got it last time.
"Morning, Cagalli" he gives me that annoying 'I'm such a good guy' smile of his. "Took you long enough."
"Com-links are not as good as they should be" I mumble as I narrow my eyes at the screen.
"Oh, don't tell me" he shakes his head but his smile never fades. "You were torturing that poor secretary of yours again."
"And trust me, she should be proud of being useful for once in her life" I groan this time. "But I bet you didn't call me to talk about that disgrace of the blonde kin."
"You're so mean" he chuckles and my glare doesn't stop him. "But you're right; it's not about her I want to talk. It's about today."
"Today?" I search in my mind for a reason why this day should be an interesting subject for a conversation. "What about today?"
"Cagalli" Kira gives me a stern look he uses on very scarce occasions "you can't possibly tell me you forgot what day is today…"
"What day is today?" Truth be told, I don't even know the date.
"December 24th" he sighs, shaking his head again. "Christmas Eve."
Really? Really?? No way!
"I'm telling your secretary to cancel every appointment you have for today."
"What?" Did he just say what I think I heard? "You can't do that!"
"I can and I will" Kira smiles, but the seriousness in his eyes tells me he's not going to change his mind. "Orb is not going to fall apart just because you take a couple of days off."
"But…!"
"No buts" he crosses his arms as if to reaffirm his position. "We are going to have a normal Christmas celebration, just like any family. We are on our way already!"
I sigh inwardly. This day is really going down the hill too fast for me to keep track. Serves me right for getting off my bed!
"It can't be helped then, I guess" I shrug, reluctant to admit that I'm more than glad to leave this office even for a while. "Wait… you're on your way, you said? And what did you mean by 'we'."
I should have noticed the unfamiliar surroundings on the screen. But before I can actually identify the place Kira's in, something pink behind him calls my eye.
"Why, you didn't expect me to miss the party, right, Cagalli-san?"
Damn. It was bad enough already, but he had to bring her on too.
"Lacus…" I try to force my smile away but I can't tell if I success or fail miserably. My brother's girlfriend sure has that effect on people. "So you're coming along."
"That's not a problem, is it, Cagalli-san?" her worried face focuses on screen beside Kira's.
I sight yet again. I have nothing against the girl, really. She's nice, kind, smart and talented. Oh, did I say she was pretty? Nah, she's beautiful. My little brother is just one lucky bastard. Too bad they get on my nerves when they are together. Alright, they're not a lovey-dovey couple. Or a brawling couple, not at all. They are… weird. I don't know any other way to put it. And they give me the creeps.
"Of course not, Lacus" I keep smiling, even if I have no idea of why I'm doing so. "You guys just caught me by surprise, that's all."
"Cagalli" Kira's face is stern again, and I suddenly feel guilty for making him mad "we've been planning this for months… I just can't believe…!"
"Alright, alright, I'm sorry!" I scratch my head, not knowing what else to do to avoid my brother's scolding. "I'll cancel everything, ok? Do you have any other orders for me besides that one?"
"Get a dress." His smile is almost insulting.
"No way in hell."
Kira and Lacus chuckle at the same time. See? They are weird.
"I was just joking, of course" he smirks, seemingly proud of himself. "We got almost everything planned, so you should not worry. But if you still have some shopping to do, I suggest you hurry, 'cause we'll be there in a couple of hours."
"Shopping! Oh… my… GOD!"
I get up in a rush and start to walk all the length of the room, just for the heck of it. How could I forget that?
"Yesterday, I sent you a list of the people who're expected to attend the celebration" Lacus doesn't look impressed by my sudden burst of nervous energy. "Just in case it helped."
"Alright, I gotta go now." I stop my frantic pacing in front of the screen and stare at their amused faces. "This is not funny, you know? Now I have to go and buy a bunch of presents!"
"Come on, Cagalli-san, buying presents for your friends and loved ones is one of the best things ever" Lacus says cheerily.
"In any case" Kira adds "it's way better than sitting on that dusty office of yours. Get out and share Christmas with Orb's people. We'll be there soon."
With that, the screen goes black, and I'm left alone to continue with my frantic pacing.
"This is not good" I mumble over and over again "not good at all."
Just why am I so nervous? It's only a regular Christmas party, right? I should be happy that my brother is coming to Orb after spending a year at PLANTs. I should be ecstatic. Not to mention that I could really use this break from work. I'll never admit it in front of anyone, but leading a country can get very tiring at times. Damn, every time. And I've been working for two years in a row. No summer holidays, no Easter, no Thanksgiving, no Christmas, no anything. And the worst is, I haven't even noticed until now.
Alright, these nerves will have to way 'til later. I have lots to do right now. As usual, even if not in my usual line of work this time.
"Rika!" I shout as I rush out of my office, making the poor blonde jump from her seat. "Where's the email Lacus Clyne sent me yesterday?"
"It's right on your desk, Cagalli-sama" she says as she searches for something on her own desk "but I should have a copy right here if you need it…"
"Yeah, I need it" I snatch the sheet from her hands as soon as she finds it, and a brief inspection tells me that my problem is bigger than what I thought. "Also, I need you to cancel everything I have for today."
"I already did, Cagalli-sama" she ventures shyly. "Yamato-sama insisted..."
"That little…" I start to mumble and then I get the best idea of the day. "That's ok, Rika. I have the perfect punishment for your betrayal."
She looks at me, little less than terrified. My broad smile sure doesn't help to calm her fear.
"You're coming with me."
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It's almost three and I'm finally home, even more tired than I was this morning. I know it's meant to be fun, but really, shopping on Christmas Eve is an instrument of the Devil to show people what Hell is supposed to be. However, I have to admit that Rika finally proved herself to be useful. If it wasn't for her, I'm sure I'd be still stuck on a shop or another. Now, all I have to worry about is if my guests are already here. And this damn nervousness that seems to be back full force.
Yeah, whatever, that's not gonna stop me after I went through mall hell.
I enter the house –the damn palace, that's what it is- followed by poor Rika, who looks like she's about to collapse even though she's only carrying the exact half of what we bought. Lucky girl, she's saved by the first servant that crosses us. And I ask him to take it all to my room, except a little box I take out of a bag. Her face is priceless when I place it in her hands.
"Cagalli-sama…" she whispers with tears in her eyes "you didn't have to…"
"Yeah, I had to." I smile. "Just a little reward for today. And for putting up with me every single day"
She opens it and gasps at the green butterfly lying on the black velvety little pillow.
"I'd invite you to that crazy party my brother wants to throw" I add "but I was told you were going to visit your family in Europe. I'm sorry I kept you busy almost the entire afternoon."
"It's alright, Cagalli-sama!" she fumbles with a bag she suspiciously kept; only to pull out a box very similar to the one I just gave her. "Actually, my flight doesn't leave 'til five… and I bought you something too…"
Funny thing is, she got me a dragonfly hairpin that was obviously crafted by the same artist who designed her green butterfly. Only my pin is amber.
"Then what are you doing here? Go home and have a merry Christmas! I'll be here on New Year to torture you again!"
"Thanks, Cagalli-sama… merry Christmas." She smiles at me before turning around to go back down the stairs. I bet she's going to check if everything's in its right place in my office before she leaves, but I don't plan to stop her. She may be a lousy secretary, but she's a very good person. And she's a dedicated, hard worker.
"Cagalli!"
Alright, it's time for the same old Atha-Yamato family routine. We wouldn't be us if we didn't do things this way. At least, I wouldn't be me. I start running as soon as hear Kira's voice. And I don't stop 'til I tackle him down and he lands with his back on the floor and me atop him.
"Ow…" he groans trying to get up as much as my body lets him. "I'm glad to see you too, Cagalli. Still, you should really stop doing that… too much love could kill you!"
I grin as I get up and help him up as well. What I can't tell him is that I would start crying like an idiot if I don't tackle him instead. He's all the family I've got and I get that emotional whenever I see him. Especially after a whole year, damn brat! He deserves it!
"You deserve it." I shrug as if I couldn't' care less "And don't tell me you don't like it, 'cause I'm sure you could dodge me if you wanted to, you Ultimate Coordinator. You like it and you know it."
"Don't you think we're a little too old for this?" he says, but he's grinning too nevertheless. "We're twenty already."
"So what? You're still as cute as ever!"
He looks startled for a moment, and I can even see the shade of a blush creeping on his cheeks. But it's only a second before he retorts:
"So are you."
I'm about to answer –something, anything to hide I'm blushing too- when I'm interrupted by a soft voice that says:
"On that, I'll have to agree with both of you."
We turn around, to see Lacus standing a few meters away as she watches us with a gentle smile.
"Keep saying that, and I'll have to tackle you too." I grumble half-serious, half-joking.
"Oh, you wouldn't do that" she looks scared, but I know she's not.
I launch at her, expecting Kira to stop me. However, he seems too busy trying to hide his blushing face. So, I end up in a death hug with Lacus. I could never imagine she was strong enough to stop me and keep her balance! I should have known my little brother was only humouring me all this time. Cause if she was able to hold her ground…
"Ok, girls, stop that before I get really perverted ideas and poor innocent Kira gets a nosebleed" calls a voice from the end of the aisle.
"You always get perverted ideas, Elsman" I call back before letting Lacus go –or more like, before she lets me go-. "You're a perverted guy, so live with it."
"I just knew you'd be delighted to see me." Dearka Elsman strides into view with a mock frown. "See, Yzak? Told you we'll be welcome!"
"Yeah, right" Councilman Joule comes just a few steps behind his friend, with a girl in tow. "Remind me again, Hahnenfuss. What are we doing here?"
"Attending a Christmas party" is the girl's amused reply. I don't think I can recall seeing her before, but she sure doesn't look nearly as displeased as Councilman Joule to be here. If someone asked me, I'd say she's having lots of fun. With Yzak Joule no less! Who would tell?
"Why didn't I spend it on PLANTs, at my mom's?"
"Because she's not going to be there."
"Right." Yzak sighs a very annoyed sigh. "So here we are."
"I should have known mama's boy will never go anywhere without his mama!" I roll my eyes at his grim expression. I think he's always like that. But of course, that makes teasing him all the more funny.
"What did you say, tomboy…?" he hisses that through tight lips, looking very ready to choke me to death. He keeps glaring even when Kira gets in between us, but he doesn't move an inch though. I wonder if the girl's hand on his arm has something to do with it.
"Come on, guys" Lacus intercedes for peace, as if it's truly her destiny to do so "it's Christmas Eve. Does the word 'harmony' ring a bell?"
Deep silence.
"Alright then." I guess she assumed that to be an affirmative answer. "What we need now is a good rest, and we'll be ready for the party! Cagalli?"
"Yeah, ok. I guess I should be showing you guys to your rooms. But I'll make it easier for all of us. That over there" I point to the first door to the left "is my room. You can take any but that one."
"Isn't that the coolest idea?" Dearka chimes in "Right, Yzak? Right, Shiho?" He grabs both his companions before they have a chance to answer and drags them away. "Let's go find a bunker!"
"A bunker…?" I mumble absentmindedly. "How dare he…?"
"Alright, we'll do that too!" Lacus says, not really minding my bad mood and blatantly ignoring my obvious intent to pick up a fight. "Do you want to take the room besides Cagalli-san's, Kira? I'll take the one in front of that one, if that's ok with you?"
"Yeah, sure." He briskly carries two bags I hadn't noticed before and leaves one in the room Lacus chose for herself before I can object. That is, in case I wanted to. I'm just too busy thinking how weird they are. I mean, come on. They have been living together for almost four years now and they still sleep in separated rooms? Really, these kinds of things make me wonder from time to time if Kira does love her. Because I have no doubt that she could kiss the floor he steps on. Even if she's never all over him, her feelings shows and I bet he can tell as well. He's not that dense, I think. Anyways, I know my little brother is somehow… special, so to speak. But still, I wish they were more normal. They still give me the creeps. And more importantly: I'm never sure if they're truly happy.
"Cagalli?" Lacus waves in front of my face and I realize that I've been spacing out. We're now alone in the aisle. "Would you like to come to my room with me? I've got something for you."
I follow her with no words, and even after I get inside her room, I do nothing but watch her come and go getting her stuff out of the bag and placing it at hand for whenever she needs it. I'm about to turn my eyes to the snowy view outside when I catch a glimpse of something very frilly, very fluffy and very pink. It's a dress. A really lovely dress, I admit it. But it's only when Lacus looks at me, as if asking for my opinion, that I truly begin to panic.
"Oh, no" I take a couple of steps back, as if either the girl or the pink contraption resting on her bed could actually lash out and bite me. "There's no way in hell you could make me wear something like that. Not even if it's a gift, no, thank you very much!"
For a second, there's a bewildered expression on her face, before she burst in laughter.
"It's not funny!" I yell, now scared out of my mind. "I'm telling you, I'm not going to wear that. I mean it!"
"Of course you're not going to wear it." She says softly, trying to suppress a final giggle and dries her tears of cheer amusement. "It's mine. I bought it especially for tonight."
Alright, I want to make a Christmas wish right now. I want the earth to open up and swallow me. Can't I at least get that merciful grace?
"Oh…" I babble heedlessly. "That's a relief…"
I sigh. No such mercy in this world. But at least I won't have to wear that.
Lacus resumes chuckling as she gets a rather large box out of her bag. Should I begin to really worry now?
"This is the one I bough for you." She says as she handles me the box with a hopeful smile and an overall expectant expression. "I sure wish it doesn't scare you as much as mine did."
Now, that was very embarrassing. And it's all out of embarrassment that I take the box from her hands and open it slowly. Inside, I find the most beautiful dress I've ever seen. That is, besides the one currently lying spread all over the bed. I already said it was lovely, right, even in spite of being pink and of me being frightened by the very thought of wearing it? The one in the box, however… I could see myself wearing it with no effort. I pull it out and I discover myself trying the effect of the dress on the full length mirror at the corner of the room. No frills, no complicated design, nothing that could -or would- scare me off. Just flowing silk of a soft amber tone. It's perfect.
"So… what do you think?" Lacus reflection appears behind my own, her smile again probably due to my reaction. "Not so scary, right?"
I have to answer to her smile with one of my own. Her taste is flawless, as usual. And, since I was probably going to be forced to wear a dress anyways, I'm more than grateful that she found one suiting to my likings. Well, as suiting to my likings as a dress can get.
"I'll take that as a yes then" she happily leaves the reflection to reappear only seconds later with her own dress in hand. "Trust me, this is going to be the best Christmas ever!"
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
'The best Christmas ever' she said, and I believed her. Actually, I wanted to believe that. When the truth is, I shouldn't. I had to go through all the ritual of getting dressed, getting my hair done and then receiving all kind of praises. I'm sure Lacus and the other girl –Shiho- had lots of fun playing houses with me as the main doll, but I couldn't see anything funny on it. At least, not until I saw myself in the mirror. Clad in Lacus' gift and wearing the dragonfly hair pin Rika gave me –funny, they both chose amber for me, I wonder if there's a conspiracy running at my back- I have to admit that I don't look like my usual, dishevelled, tomboyish self. I look… what the hell, I look great!
But still, I'm not very comfortable with all the flatteries, even after admitting that today I might deserve some of them. Too bad I'm not really interested in getting those. At least, not from them…
Alright, Cagalli, don't you even think of going that way. Don't you even consider thinking of him when you should instead try to have some fun, and enjoy the company of your friends and…
I have almost no time to hide when I hear someone coming. Alright, I confess. I'm hiding in the balcony, in the darkness cast by the bushes behind the heavy curtain. The ball room was already making me dizzy with all those lights and people and all. Even Ezalia Joule was -is- there! Just when did it go from a family celebration to a multitudinous ball? That can cause real brain damage! Or is it the drink I'm still holding in my hands that's making my head spin? I don't think there's too much alcohol in it, but then again, I can't remember how many glasses I've swallowed down.
"So, you haven't seen her?" says the voice of my super cute, tuxedo-clad little brother.
"I'm sorry, Kira." Lacus' sounds a bit sad as she speaks. "I just lost her for a moment. But I was not supposed to be watching her, right?"
"Yeah, you're right. I guess I'm just a bit nervous…"
There's a silence, during which I wonder who are they talking about –I have a faint suspicion though- and more importantly, what they are doing. I risk taking a peek through the leaves and I see their backs. They're seemingly staring down at the gardens, or maybe up at the sky, I'm not sure. See? They are always like that. Instead of… well, doing what couples usually do when in a place and situation as romantic as this, they are contempt with just watching the stars! What the hell are you doing, Kira?
"You didn't tell her…?" he starts again, only to be interrupted by a frustrated Lacus:
"Of course I didn't, Kira. No matter how much I wanted to tell her, we want this to be a surprise, right?"
"You're right again." He sounds guilty now. "I'm sorry. I'm just messing everything up with my uneasiness. "
"It's ok, I understand" comes her soft reply. "You wouldn't be you if you didn't care for people who are close to you."
Another long pause. I swear, I'm gonna have to talk some sense into that boy's head. What is he thinking…?
"Lacus…?"
That's more than enough to make me hold my breath in expectation. I bet she's doing the same thing.
"Hmm?" If that's all she can answer, then I guess I was right.
"Nothing." He says, and I have to fight the urge to run up to them and strangle him. I'm sure glad I can't see Lacus' face.
There's yet another painfully, unbearably long silence.
"Kira…?"
Alright, I hold my breath again. If it's her going for it, this might actually work out. My brother is such a chicken!
"Hmm?" Ha. I bet he's holding his breath too, no matter how much of a marshmallow he is.
"You never told me anything about my dress…" she hints shyly.
Oh, God, I'd pay to see his face now. He's probably blushing like there's no tomorrow!
"I…" he sounds pretty much like he's battling to come up with the right words "… I was speechless."
Ok, I didn't see that one coming! After all, he's not as brain-dead as I thought.
"Really?" her voice is barely above a whisper, but I can still hear it from my hideout.
"Yeah, really…"
"Kira…"
Alright, if that's not it, then I know nothing about anything! And if that silence doesn't mean he's kissing her or something, I swear I'm going to kick his butt 'til he begs for mercy!
I move a leaf to a side, trying to be as quiet as I can, and I'm overjoyed to see that I won't be hurting anyone's posterior anytime soon. They are kissing. No, wait, they are making out! Right, don't tell anyone, they can actually do that! Woohoo! Way to go, bro! Way to go, Lacus!
And this is when I start thinking that I shouldn't be here, seeing this. I just don't know how I'm going to make it out without them noticing me. Would they even notice me if I try to sneak away? Is worth a shot… but then again, they are both Coordinators… God, what should I do?
"I think…" says Lacus' breathy voice, and I feel saved by the bell "that we should… perhaps… go back inside?"
"Yeah… maybe we should…" he sounds so dazed that I doubt I'm going to ever leave this place. I was too happy too fast.
Like I thought, they don't even listen to themselves. I remove the leaf from my view again, only to see they are back at what they were previously doing. Sure my little bro takes his time to decide, but once he's made up his mind…
It's the incoming sound of voices which saves me in the end. Alright, I wanted Kira and his lovely girlfriend to get it on, no doubt about that. I just didn't want them to do it in front of my very eyes! So, I don't have to say how relieved I am when I hear them pass by my hiding place with a rustle of clothes and muffled giggles and chuckles. I even catch a glimpse of the lucky bastard and his beet red, but smug face, as he goes by fixing one of Lacus' shoulder straps that seemingly fell. They make it to the door right on time to allow the entrance of yet another couple. But this new guys are having an argument, or so it seems, so I guess I'll have no problem leaving after they make it to the far end of the balcony, where the others were just a couple of minutes ago.
"Listen to me, Miriallia…"
Hold it right there. Miriallia? Wasn't that the voice of the infamous Dearka Elsman? I think I'll stay for a little while.
"I don't want to listen! And why the hell don't you stop following me around!"
"Come on, Mir, you gotta let me explain…"
"Nothing!" she's almost shouting now, and I have the feeling that she's doing so 'cause she's afraid her anger might be waning too fast. "I don't wanna hear it! I just can't believe I came to this party! If I had known you'd be here, I would have never come in the first place!"
"Fine then!" well, it seems that last phrase got him, 'cause he's shouting too. "I wouldn't have come either! But we're both here, so we better try to work things out!"
"There's nothing to work out, Dearka! There was never a thing between us!"
Silence. Even if I was inwardly cheering for Miriallia, that silence sure is deafening and definitely scary. I move to a side, to get a better view, and I'm utterly surprised by what I see. They are kissing! Too! Just my luck!
I've just leaned my back to the wall and resigned to wait 'til they're done with their argument –kissing, or whatever they're plan to do- when I hear something that sounds pretty much like a slap. Ok, I'll redo my previous sentence. He was kissing her. She… I'm not sure of what she was doing. But lo and behold, she hit him! At least, he's two steps now, with his hand on his left cheek. Way to go Miriallia!
"You are…" her voice trembles, and I can see unshed tears in her eyes, even though I can't tell if they are caused by rage or by humiliation –or maybe by true sadness?- "despicable…"
"Well, yeah, I'm such a lousy guy." He says, still rubbing his face. "But at least, I'm here."
"You're here today!" She exclaims, seemingly on the verge of her endurance. "But what about tomorrow? And the day after tomorrow? And all the days after that?"
"I don't know where I'm going to be tomorrow." He admits somberly. "But I would like to be with you, if you let me."
She's faltering. Oh, God, she's faltering! How can she take all that crap after all the things she's been through…?
"I can't trust you, Dearka." She sighs, still trying to hold back her tears. "You just left and in more than two years, all I got from you was a postcard. As if you couldn't care less about me. That hurts, you know?"
Oh, yeah, it hurts. Even if there's a proper goodbye, break up or whatever you might call it, it still hurts like hell when it's not what you want. You should ask me if you want the details.
"I know it hurts, Miriallia. I was hurting too, but there was nothing I could do about it. You must at least understand that. If you just let me explain…"
"You don't expect me to trust you again just like that, do you?" She looks angry again, but I know it's the last bullet, so to speak. "It's been so long… I don't even know you anymore… I'm not sure I ever did."
"It'd be wrong for you to feel any other way" taking her words better than I expected him to "so I definitely don't expect much in the beginning. I'd be more than happy if you give me a chance to start all over again, to get near you again. At least, that'd mean you don't hate me."
"I don't hate you, Dearka." She confesses softly, her tears finally running down free. "I wish I did, but I don't."
"That's good." He whispers as he dries her tears with his thumbs. He better do what he's promising, or I'm so going to have a reason to kill him. Great, just what I always wanted. A real reason to hate Dearka Elsman. Not just an 'I hate your smug face' type of thing.
It takes him a while to calm her down, but with her anger gone, pretty much of her energy seems to be lost as well, so she lets him do without complains. She doesn't protest either when he suggest they should go get a drink or something and he leads her back into the ball room. I sure hope she's ok… but somehow, I have the feeling that she's going to be so. And if my instincts are right, I'd even say she's going to be better than she's ever been since the war ended.
So, I guess I should be going while I can, before any other couple comes to vent their problems out here. I slowly peek out of my bush, checking to see if the balcony entrance is clear. But no such luck. Actually, it seems like I'm in a real slump tonight. There's yet another couple coming. A couple even weirder than my bro and his girl, or Dearka and Miriallia, if I may say so. Yeah, I'm in a winning streak. Oh, well… at least I can be pretty sure that this two won't kiss. Safe bet there.
"You didn't tell me she was coming here, Hahnenfuss." Says the voice of… yeah, you guessed it. Councilman Joule. Junior.
"I didn't really know about that." The girl beside him –Shiho, remember?- doesn't seem too impressed by his grumpy attitude. Right, I guess she should be used to that by now if she's been working with him. "All I knew was she was not going to be at PLANTs. No one told me she was invited to this specific party."
"Who invited her anyways?" He continues to grumble.
"Someone who wanted you to attend as well?" She suggests with a chuckle.
Even behind my protective bush, I can still see the glare he gives her.
"You too, Hahnenfuss?" Contrary to what his expression could predict, his voice sounds more disappointed than annoyed. "You too think I'm a mama's boy?"
"You do look like her a lot." She chuckles again and I can hear a snort as an answer to her merriment. "But that's not necessarily a bad thing, is it?"
"That's not an answer." I can even see his frown in his voice; it's as obvious as that. "It's an evasive."
"I don't think you're a mama's boy, Councilman Joule." The way she answers that, I'm pretty sure she's standing in attention right now even in spite of her lovely, deep blue dress. Or something like that. Only the stance of a soldier would go well with the way she says that.
"You should stop calling me Councilman Joule, Hahnenfuss." He grits his teeth in displeasure. "It gets on my nerves."
"You should stop calling me Hahnenfuss, Councilman Joule." She mocks his voice almost flawlessly, and I have to fight really hard to suppress a guffaw. "It gets on my nerves."
"Hahnenfuss…"
"Councilman Joule…"
If she keeps doing that, I'm going to be discovered in no time…
"Alright, Shiho. I know I'm a conceited bastard, and I really find pleasure in tormenting my subordinates, but nothing forces you to address me as your superior when we are not at work."
"I'll call you Yzak then" she says simply. "Both 'Councilman Joule' and 'conceited bastard' are too long for my liking."
The sound of laughter suddenly pierces my ears and it takes me sometimes to realize Yzak Joule is the one laughing. I don't think I've ever heard him laugh before! Really, I can't even recall seeing him smile. But then again, what do I know? Obviously, not much.
"Alright, I feel much better now that we're on first name basis" she speaks casually, but if Joule knew more about girls -he doesn't even know he looks hot in his white uniform, so, yeah-, he would see how excited she truly is of being with him. Talk about weird tastes… I know, I just thought he was hot, and the fact he doesn't seem to notice it's actually kinda cute, but still… "I mean, as long as we are not at work."
There's no reply to that. After a good two minutes of silence, I risk a glance upon them and I see Yzak staring at the girl in front of him, while she tries as hard as she can to look unmoved under his inexplicable scrutiny. It doesn't seem to be an easy task though.
"So" she still talks casually, or tries at least "do you want to go back inside?"
Again, he says nothing. He just keeps staring at her as if he was just seeing her for the first time, successfully making her more and more nervous. Still, I have to praise her for her endurance. Especially if, as I suspect, she has the weird taste of liking this guy.
"Anyways" she tries yet again to break the tense silence "is there anything else you'd like to do? The night's still young…"
He remains silent for the longest minute, even succeeding in making me nervous. Until he finally says:
"I'd like to kiss you."
No way! No friggin' way! He didn't just say that, did he? But the moment she speaks, I know my ears didn't play tricks on me. 'Cause she's just as incredulous as I am and that can only mean… we heard the same thing.
"I beg your pardon?"
"I'd like to kiss you, Shiho." He repeats undaunted, as if he was saying the most natural thing in the world. And he is, but still! "It's not a request I'd dare make while we're at work but…"
Of course, she doesn't let him finish. She just goes to him and kisses him before he had much of a chance to change his mind. For the looks of it, I'd say she's been waiting for this to happen for quite some time. And I should have known nothing was a safe bet tonight! Alright, I'm out of here!
I leave my hideout in a rush, not really minding if I'm too noise or not. I don't even look behind me, 'cause I don't want to see their surprised faces. And if they didn't noticed me and are still… well, I don't want to see that either! In my escape –what else can I call it?- I bump into something very round, very big and –lucky me- rather soft.
"You should watch were you're going, Cagalli-san" says an amused voice.
"I'm sorry, I was just…" I pause in mid sentence when I raise my eyes and I discover that I have just crashed into Murrue Ramius' very big, very round, very pregnant belly! "Captain Ramius! I didn't think Commander La Flaga would let you attend this party with that…"
"Belly?" Comes yet another voice from behind her and two hands that are not Murrue's caress her swollen midsection. "I love this belly just as much as I love the rest. So I just came along to make sure no little girls would bump into it and make La Flaga junior angry."
"Mu…" she mumbles, but leans into him nevertheless, and I wonder how he can withstand all that weight. The man who can make the impossible, possible? Yeah, right, even now.
"Huh, I'm sorry." I apologize again, and leave them, not knowing what else to say. I'm sure glad to see both Mu and Murrue so happy and so healthy, but truth is, seeing them perturbs me almost as much as Kira and Lacus. Could it be that I'm jealous of her happiness? No, that can't be it. I'm happy for them! They deserve to be happy! That's all I think, that's all!
I only sigh in contempt when I reach my room and lock myself inside. Great party, yeah. Too bad everything seems to be getting on my nerves. Or maybe I just drank too much of that orange punch… I feel so tired. Alright, I'll just get a short nap and I'll go back down. Just a short nap…
All I can say is, I feel my eyes closing even before I hit the mattress…
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I wake up with a start and I'm suddenly not sure of where I am. It's only after a few seconds and a few more blinks that I finally realize I'm in my own room, still wearing the dress Lacus gave me as a Christmas present. Christmas! The ball! How much did I sleep?
The clock on the bed side table reads 3:27. So I guess I missed the end of the party after all. I just hope Kira and Lacus managed to deal with that after I went missing. How embarrassing, to disappear from my own celebration without telling anyone. If only there was a way to make up for that… wait. I think I got it! I'll just take the presents down to the Christmas tree! At this hour, I'm sure I'm going to be the first! Right, I'll do that!
I gather most of the boxes I brought from the mall and I make my way downstairs as silently as I can. For that purpose, I'm not wearing shoes. I'm pretty sure it's a useless precaution, but still, better to play safe.
So, I reach the hall and for a moment, I just stare at the huge Christmas tree the representatives gave me as a present. Well, it didn't have to be that big, but it sure fits the size of the hall. They had it all planned, yeah. And here I am, about to place my presents under the lower branches and scurry away without being discovered when I realize I'm not alone in the room.
In spite of my surprise, I leave the boxes right where I wanted to, and approach the figure fallen on the opposite side of the tree. It's probably someone who got drunk and missed his –or her- companions on the way out. The white blanket spread under the tree sure is alluring if you feel dizzy. Out of curiosity, I crawl to where the person is, and I gasp when I make up bright red clothes. Santa!
Yeah, right, as if Santa would get drunk and fall asleep under the Christmas tree. That's not Santa. That red thing is a ZAFT elite uniform if I know one. I immediately squeeze my brain for a relation of the people who came into the party today wearing a Red Coat ZAFT uniform. But it's a rather short list as far as I can recall. That guy, Shinn Asuka. But I doubt his girlfriend would have left him here. Now that I think about it, she's a Red Coat too… even thought she was wearing a white dress tonight. They came with Ezalia Joule, but he was the only one in her escort with that uniform. Who the hell is this then? I approach silently, trying not to disturb the guy's –it's either a guy or a girl wearing a guy's uniform- slumber. But I'm surprised beyond words when he turns around and I can see his face… Athrun Zala!
I jerk back and rub my eyes in utter disbelief, only to crawl forward again and take a closer look at his face, just in case I was mistaken the first time. Alright, I did want him here, so maybe that's why I'm seeing his face instead of… but who the hell am I trying to fool? It's not like I could be easily confused on this. I know this face by heart. And even though I have no explanation for his presence here, it's still an undeniable fact.
What can he possibly be doing here? I mean, it's not like I didn't expect him to show up all day. Since most of his friends were coming, I figured out it was not too crazy to think he would as well. And I spent all night battling myself, not really knowing if I wanted him to come or not. Still, I can find no rational reason why he should be sleeping under the Christmas tree. Unless he –or someone else- thinks of himself as a gift.
That's right! It's pretty easy actually; I just don't know how I didn't realize from the beginning. I'm still sleeping! Only my stupid mind could dub Athrun Zala a worthy Christmas present, to be put under the tree. I can't help but smile. Deep down inside, this is what I truly wanted. So, if this is my gift and my dream, I guess I can do whatever I want, right?
I crawl back to his side and I just sit there for a few moments, just watching him sleep. I haven't seen him in quite sometime, but I can say he hasn't changed much. He's still the cutest guy I've ever seen –alright, my brother might be cuter, but he's my brother!- and he still makes my heart skip a beat. I think the stupid me is still pretty much in love with him in spite of everything. And the silly me can't help but wonder if he still has the same green eyes…
"Wake up, sleeping beauty" I whisper in his ear.
He stirs a bit before opening his –yeah!- ever so green eyes and fixing a sleepy look on me. Then he blinks a couple of times and abruptly sits up, almost making me fall back.
"Cagalli!" he mumbles, seemingly unsure of what's going on. "What…? Why…? I was… You…"
I place a finger on his lips and smile at him.
"It's ok." I say as I gently brush his hair away from his face. "You don't have to say a thing. I'm happy enough that you're here."
For a reason I cannot fathom, he looks bewildered, like he was expecting me to say something else. But that impression doesn't last long. He suddenly pulls me into a tight embrace and I'm more than happy to comply. Oh, yeah, I've wanted to do this. It's a dream alright. I can do whatever I want.
"I still love you" I mumble against his shoulder. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to say this in real life, so I'm really glad I can at least say it in a dream.
He jerks back and lowers his face to stare straight into my eyes. He looks pretty much like he can't believe what he just heard. I merely smile. He eventually smiles back.
"I love you too" he says quietly, and I have the pleasure of seeing him blush once again. "I guess I always did but… I can say it now."
The moment he leans in again, I just close my eyes and silently pray that this dream doesn't end up too soon. And it doesn't. He kisses me and I kiss him back and even after we part for air, he's still in front of me and I'm so glad I can't put it on words.
"Will you stay this time?" I ask as I snuggle against his chest, practically forcing him back on the white blanket. I'm not letting go. If it' only for tonight, I'm not letting go.
"No matter what, I'll stay" he whispers, holding me even closer to his heart. "And even if I have to go, I'll make sure to come back. And I'll make sure you know it."
"I'm so happy…"
"So am I…"
I rise my eyes one more time and I see it right there. He's happy. We are happy. We're together. As if it was meant to be. He brushes my hair softly and I make sure I'll never forget his expression. The way he looks at me, like I'm the best thing that could ever happen to him. God, I love this feeling. Thank you. I wouldn't mind dying right now.
"You're so beautiful…"
Alright, he can say what he wants. He can even call me princess and I won't mind. I feel truly blessed and nothing is going to take this joy away from me. Tomorrow… tomorrow the world can fall apart or whatever. Tonight, it's Christmas Eve.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The muffled sounds of laughter and the rustle of wrapping paper bring me out of dream land. Now, that was the best dream ever! Too bad it was the kind that won't come true… but anyway, it was really good… I feel my face burn as I cuddle my pillow and try to shut out the annoying noises and go back to my dream. Just why can't they let me sleep a bit more?
"How long do you think they're going to sleep?" Says a voice I can't quite recognize. "We should be opening the presents!"
"Be quiet" answers another voice that sounds pretty much like Kira's. "Just because you got your picture already, it doesn't mean we can spoil their moment. The presents are not going anywhere."
Just what the hell are they talking about? And why the hell are they talking about it in my room? Can't they just go somewhere else? I readjust my position in bed, but I'm suddenly full conscious when my pillow grunts and moves underneath my elbows!
"Wha…" I try to prop myself up and I open my eyes, just to meet the sight of very open, very bright, very green eyes staring back at me.
"So, they are finally awake!" Dearka –so it was Dearka after all- cheers from my right.
"Should we open the presents now?" It's Lacus' voice this time, and it comes from my left. "I can hardly wait!"
There's an immediate rustle of paper being torn up and I can even hear a squeal or two, but I still can't look away from his face. If this is still a dream, it sure is a long one. I twist my index finger and the pain almost makes me cry.
"Cagalli?" Athrun –Oh… my… God… he… is… really… here!- looks at me puzzled when I crawl away from him holding my finger. "Are you alright?"
"That hurt…" I grumble, cradling my injured hand. Then, it's not a dream. It was never a dream! God, I'm so embarrassed! I can't believe the things I said yesterday, the things I did thinking this was just a dream!
"You bought me a present?" I turn to my right to see a frowning Miriallia, picking up a blue box from near the trunk. "I thought you said you didn't know I was going to be here…"
"That's alright" Dearka grins at her while shaking a slightly bigger box in his hand. "You said so too and here I am, about to see what you got me."
"Idiot." She looks away, blushing, but it's plain to see he has half the way done now. I wouldn't be surprised if we get news from this two soon enough.
"Cagalli…" Athrun is now behind me and I didn't even feel him coming! "The things you said yesterday… I'll understand if you want to take them back… but everything I said was true."
I only wish he didn't have the ability to make my heart flutter like this! It's not a dream anymore, right? So I should be kicking his sorry ass for thinking he could take his sweet time and I would be waiting for him whenever he chose to come back! Even if it's true… kinda. However… the only thing I truly feel like doing is holding him close and never letting go… just like last night. I hate to be this vulnerable!
"What where you doing under the tree anyways?" I ask roughly, turning to face him. "That was… such an odd thing to do!"
He smiles softly and again I curse myself for being such a weakling. It doesn't help anything that my legs feel like jelly!
"I got here a bit too late." He explains. "My flight was delayed due to a blizzard and the party was over before I could make it here. So, I just entered the palace –the front door was opened, I wonder why- and not wanting to venture into the wrong room, I decided to wait in the hall. But I was really tired, so I guess I fell asleep… and that's how you found me."
I have to look away. Really, the last thing I want is for him to see me blush like I know I am. I'm so stupid! Why did I have to think it was all a dream? That was so silly of me!
I'm distracted from my embarrassment by a squeal to my right. First, I see Shiho and Yzak exchanging Christmas presents in a rather sober fashion, which goes completely wrong with their wide smiles. And then I find the source of the squeal hidden behind an enormous box.
"Oh my God, it's so big!" Although it's a bit hard to understand, Lacus is able to carry the enormous box with no apparent effort. "Did you get me this, Kira?"
My brother blushes and nods, suspiciously shy.
I get up and approach Lacus, just as curious as the rest of us about the contents of the box. Athrun follows me closely.
"Oh, I can't imagine what it is!" The pink princess tears the envelope with trembling hands and opens the box, to reveal a smaller box inside the big one. She frowns and then proceeds to tear the wrappings and open the second box as well. And we are all frowning after she repeats that process about five more times, always finding a smaller box inside the bigger one.
"Is this a joke…?" I mumble impatiently.
But Kira doesn't answer. He's blushing like crazy now, but his eyes never waver from his girlfriend's face. I think he's even holding his breath!
"Alright" seemingly, the last box was really the last one, and inside it, Lacus finds a tiny velvet case with a card attached. The moment she reads the contents, her mouth forms a silent scream and she drops everything. But lucky enough, my brother picks the case up before it reaches the ground.
"Kira!" she sounds pretty much like she's choking on her own words, and a glance at Athrun, Dearka and Yzak's smug faces tells me that the guys all knew. "This is… is this…?"
"Why don't you see it for yourself?" he suggests shyly as he hands her the little case again.
She opens it with trembling hands, while I surreptitiously pick up the forgotten card from the ground. We both scream in perfect harmony. Not so silently this time.
Inside the case rests the most beautiful ring I've ever seen in my entire life –I've been seeing too many beautiful things lately, I think-, a sparkling, light blue stone surrounded by tiny, rose-shaped diamonds. It's awesome, really.
Oh, I think I'm forgetting something. The card reads 'Please, marry me'. Wasn't that the cutest thing ever?
"Do you like it?" Kira asks, nervous by her unexpected silence. "I was going to get something pink in the beginning, then I saw this stone… that's the exact colour of your eyes… but if you don't like it, we can…"
"I love it." Lacus says slowly, only getting her eyes off the ring to fix them on her boyfriend. "But don't think a little card is going to get you out of it so easily."
"Will you marry me then?" He grabs her hand, and I'm positive he's not even thinking what he's saying. "Oh, wait, I was supposed to kneel or something…"
"Would you put this on for me?" She gives him the open box and a smile that's lovely even for her standards.
He slides the ring on her finger –on another weird tip, it fits perfectly- and he's about to fall to his knees when she hugs him.
"The answer is yes, Kira" she says with the last spurt of her joy. "I'll be more than happy to marry you…"
And then she burst into tears in his arms!
I surely wish I could tell what happens next, but Athrun –who's still behind me- gently pushes me out of the hall, with the very obvious purpose of leaving the newly engaged couple alone.
And here I am, walking towards the front door, all alone with him. And I'm happy. I'm happy for my brother and I'm happy for Lacus. Hell, I'm happy for everyone. I'm even happy for myself. I'm so happy I can't even think of getting mad. Which is not good, but it's not bad either. I don't know what I'm thinking anymore. As usual, I'm not making any sense.
"So" Athrun says casually. Or he would have said that casually if he only knew how "do you want me to buy you a ring like that?"
I stop walking in utter disbelief. If it's a joke, it's not funny at all. And if it's not a joke, then it's even less funny!
"You don't have to buy me…" I start, as haughtily as I can, but of course he interrupts me:
"Right. I gave you a ring already. Do you keep it?"
Truth is, I do. I've tried to get rid of it before, but I've only been able to go as far as to put it in a box, out of my sight. It really depresses me to see that ring. It reminds me of things that should be and are not.
"Yeah…" I can't find the courage –or the nerve, for that matter- to lie to him. It's bad enough I've been lying to myself all this time.
His smile makes me look away.
"So… can I assume that what you said last night…?"
"It was all true" I nod eagerly, but I frown at the same time. "It was just a dream though. We can't be together."
"Even if we love each other and we know it?" Athrun asks looking away as well. If he wasn't so serious…
"Even so." I nod again, this time eyeing his ZAFT Red Coat "You belong to PLANTs. I can't give up on ORB because of you."
If I could, I most certainly would. I just hope he understands that.
"Very well then." He bows slightly, and I'm suddenly mad at him for not insisting. I just wish things could be different… "But, before I go, I'll give you my Christmas present. The one that caused me to be late last night."
I look at him, surprised.
"Funny, I bought you a present too…" I mumble unwillingly "I didn't know you were coming, but still…"
"You did?" His face seems to shine and I feel rewarded for all the pains I went through at the mall. "Huh, I can't stay right now, 'cause I have some… official business to attend, but do you mind if I come back for lunch? You could show me then."
So he's going to try something after all? Well, I'm so flattered. And happy, yeah, I admit it. But it's useless to fool myself like this. The sooner he goes, the better for my heart.
"Didn't I just tell you that…" I start, but he interrupts me yet again:
"Your Christmas present." He smiles, placing an envelope in my hands. "At least, I hope so. I know it won't make you look good as Lacus' gift –you should really wear dresses more often-, but if it makes you happy…"
I glare at him for the dress comment, but he doesn't seem moved. I should have noticed before, he's enjoying himself and he can hardly hide it. I take the envelope and study it with obvious distrust. It looks like common fiscal paper, bearing some distinctive badges of both ORB and PLANTs. I open it, trying to tear as little of it as possible, and then I read the contents of the single sheet inside. It's a letter of appointment… Athrun Zala's appointment as PLANTs' ambassador in ORB! Oh… my… GOD!
"When did this happen?" I ask bewildered, instinctively pressing the sheet against my chest.
"In the meeting yesterday, after lunch." Athrun's smile is almost as insulting as the one Kira gave yesterday, and then everything starts to fall in place. It was a conspiracy alright! "The one you didn't attend to because you were too busy at the mall."
"Why, you guys…" I launch at him, and he catches me in mid air and makes me twirl around. "I hate you!"
"Yeah, I know." He keeps smiling like that, but I really don't mind anymore. "Merry Christmas to you too."
I should have trusted Lacus when she told me this was going to be the best Christmas ever. Cause you know what? I think that maybe –just maybe- she was right. If you can measure how good a celebration is by the gifts, then this one is going to be very hard to beat!
"Merry Christmas, Ambassador Zala. Welcome to ORB."