Disclaimer: My sister and I are both idiots, poor idiots with no claims to Harry Potter. Other than obsession, so don't bother.
A Millennia of Broomsticks
By: Crossing the Bridge and Diamond Raider
Summary: In Heaven, James Potter and Sirius Black are still trouble makers and Lily still isn't going to let them off the hook. Well, at least not James anyways.
Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke.
Hermann Hesse (1877 - 1962)
Heaven is so utterly and wonderfully peaceful, that most of its inhabitants are content to laze around all day. Or join the sports teams. Or cooking club. Or any of the thousands of clubs available to join. Unfortunately, Sirius Black and James Potter were not one of those 'laze around all day' kind of people. They were more the type that would disguise stink bombs as eggs and send them to the cooking club. That would have a hand in their current situation.
The cooking club consists of roughly 1,500 members, give or take, all of which were either fainting, screaming, crying or managing to do all three. Sirius and James had fled seconds ago only to come to a complete halt in front of an irate red-headed angel. This angel not only held a top position in Heaven's Holier Than Thou Council, but also happened to be James's lovely wife. A wife who, coincidently was in the cooking club. How did that happen? The world will never know...
"James..." Lily Evans-Potter said threateningly.
"Lily...my love, my only love, my heart and soul! Ummm... I thought that you were...Sirius, anytime is a good time!" The first part came out pleading and the last part hissed at the handsome man behind him.
Sirius peeked over James's shoulder and gave a hesitant wave, "Hi, Lils...Whatever your evil and conniving, Slytherin-Loving husband did, I had no part in! I was...umm, uh...over there!" He glanced around wildly and pointed in the direction farthest from the cooking club. "The entire time! James can vouch for me; he was there too! Right, James...oh, wait. You were...and I was...I'm going to be in that direction if you need me." He pointed to the left and scurried to the right, hoping to confuse the deeply annoyed and now somewhat exasperated Lily. She turned towards her messy haired husband.
"Double time for you Mister Potter."
James gaped, disbelievingly. His mouth opened, then closed , then repeated.
"I-you, but…you know where he is; he told you! Go get get 'im and umm, umm...what's my punishment?" He gazed to where Sirius had run off to, ran his hand through his hair and looked back at Lily, grinning sheepishly.
"You may have the honor of polishing each and every one of the Quidditch club's broomsticks."
"Alright…"
"Without magic of course." He looked at her thoughtfully,
"That doesn't sound so bad."
"Oh, I doubt it would be that bad, if this was Hogwarts. I hear the smallest team here just received 77th member… How many teams are registered again? I just can't seem to remember…"
"All of them?! All 364 teams?!" he looked at his wife pitifully, praying that she was merely joking. And hoping that his proximity to the Big Cheese would result in a speedy delivery. Unfortunately, the Big Cheese was ticked at him, too.
"Every single one, James." He tried another look, this time forlorn, it always did work well before. She smiled, so evilly he wondered how she had gotten into heaven.
"See you in a millennia James!" and with those final words, Lily turned with a flip of her hair, and pondered whether to add and cruel snicker.
In case you're wondering. She did.