"Merry Christmas, love." He whispered in my ear, waking me from a lovely sugarplum dream.
"How can I fill you Christmas wish?" Edward said, his smile bright as the morning sun.
I gazed up at him through bleary eyes. "Edward, it's Christmas Eve, and besides, you know the rules. No gifts."
'I know the rule, but I didn't ask you what you wanted to receive, I asked what your Christmas wish was… those are a very different thing."
I smiled; leave it to Mr. Perfection to differentiate on the details. I sighed, hoping my next words would not start something I really didn't feel like finishing. Wait, no, strike that; I felt very much like finishing, Edward didn't.
"You know what I want. Still you refuse. So I can ask for nothing more, Edward. If you won't fulfill my biggest wish, how can I believe you'll fill any of my others?" I asked.
"Bella, must we go through this every holiday?" Edward asked with a tired sigh.
"No, it would never be brought up again if you'd just… you know… do it."
"What's this about believing me? Are you seriously telling me that as long as I do not fulfill your unholy desire to be a part of the living dead, you think you can't count on me for anything else?"
I raised my eyebrows to emphasize my position on the subject.
Edward sighed, "Bella… you should know better than that. You know I'll do anything else in the world for you, anything at all; money is no object."
"I thought you said wishes and gifts were very different." I said with a smirk; I knew I was being difficult, but after all, he started the whole conversation.
Edward rolled his eyes. "Thank you, never before in my life, or death, has anyone used my own words against me as often as you do. Honestly Bella… do you enjoy being so difficult?" he said in a huff.
I knew now he was ticked and perhaps he had a right; I knew how he felt on the subject, but just the same he knew how I felt. Still, it angered me how steadfast and unmoving he was… it was as if he didn't consider my feelings or input at all.
"I'm difficult? Which one do you want to be today, Edward, pot or kettle?" I retorted.
"Bella, we've been over this. I'm not revisiting the subject on what is supposed to be a joyous and peaceful holiday." Edward said; his voice raising slightly, he was definitely upset now, part of me was slightly ashamed that I'd been the cause of it, but a bigger part of me just wanted him, for once, to see things my way.
"Joyous and peaceful for who Edward; you? Safe in the knowledge that the one thing I want most I can't have because you forbid it?!"
"No, Bella; for you! Peaceful and joyous knowing that you have your family and friends and are alive and breathing. How can you not be grateful for that?!"
"Maybe it's because my boyfriend doesn't care enough for me to go and let me die; he'd rather spend eternity alone than with me!" I yelled as I walked into the bathroom and slammed the door.
"Bella… Bella… please come back…"
"Go away, Edward; if I'm not good enough for you then just leave. I'd rather spend Christmas alone." I yelled as I leaned up against the other side of the door.
I waited for several minutes before opening it a crack to see if he were still there. I slowly came out of the bathroom and walked into my room, expecting to see him on the bed or chair waiting for me.
He wasn't. My room was as silent as if he'd never been there. As if I had dreamed him all along.
I went back into the bathroom and went through my normal routine. I dressed for the day, not taking much care for it because I would be spending tonight at the Cullen's house and Alice would just re-dress me anyway.
After pulling my heavy coat on, I tromped through the three feet of snow outside my house to my truck. I could still feel the anger seething through me, but this time I would not give in to him.
Of course I usually deferred to him, and today of all days you would think I would want to spend it peacefully and with mirth. But something about this denial, the finality of it all, just ate at my core.
As I pulled up into the Cullen driveway I sat for a moment. Dreading the thought of seeing him, of his trying to make me forget my request and resulting anger.
That's what he usually did, and it usually worked.
I took a deep breath before exhaling the words, "but not today."
I walked in and was immediately greeted by Alice. "Bella, what are you thinking?" she began.
"Alice, I'm not in the mood; it's his fault anyhow and I really don't feel like debating it right now okay?" I said with more of a chip on my shoulder than I should have.
"Well, alright, but you really need to put a little more thought into what you put on before leaving the house. And how is it Edward's fault what you wear?" Alice said with a funny look on her face.
"Oh, sorry. I just assumed you were talking about the fight we had." I said, "Besides, I figured no matter what I chose you'd just redress me anyway."
"Well isn't someone a little grinch this Christmas?" Jasper said as he walked through the entryway on his way to the kitchen. "Thanks, though; it's been nothing but warm fuzzy feelings since Thanksgiving with Alice… I needed a shot of all out scrooginess." He added as he left the room.
I resisted the thing I wanted to do to behind Jasper… he wouldn't see it anyhow, but mentally it made me feel a bit better.
I felt like the Grinch, not the cartoon one, the Jim Carrey character, all out mean and nasty.
I sighed as Alice led me upstairs for the next few hours of Bella Barbie.
I let my bitterness grow as she styled my hair, worked my makeup and nails, even a pedicure. She needed no encouragement to do all of the talking, of course and for once I just let her go. This must be what Jasper feels like all the time.
Once nothing more could be done to my skin, hair or other growing appendages, I let her lead me to the closet. My closet. Yes, Alice had seen fit to give me my own closet the size of a small living room complete with clothes for every occasion and shoes and accessories to match.
I sulked as she browsed the numerous racks of clothing.
"Bella, look, I know how you feel about the situation and you know I agree with you. I'm not trying to be insensitive, I just wish you'd perk up for the party." She said, her back turned ot me.
"I'm sorry Alice. It's just that he had to go and ask me what my wish for Christmas was and how he could fill it this morning." I said.
"I know, I saw it last night. I even called and begged him not to ask in that way; that it would only start a fight. He said to me, 'Alice, I know my Bella, she won't be upset.'"
"Was that supposed to make me feel better?" I asked incredulously.
"No, just being honest. Look, I feel just as you do, that my brother is being the biggest pig-headed idiot in the world right now, and on top of that he didn't listen to me when I knew what would happen."
I was about to comment, but she cut me off.
"But this is freaking Christmas and I've been dreaming of this Christmas for months now and I don't want you and Edward's bad attitudes to ruin it!" she yelled.
"You're right, Alice. Whatever problem I have with Edward right now has nothing to do with the rest of you. I'm sorry. Really I am."
Alice turned and came over to hug me.
As she held me I a grip of steel she whispered, "Sorry to yell at you… I think Jasper is amplifying your funk to the rest of us. I wish I could say he wasn't doing it on purpose."
I laughed. Alice couldn't help but join me. In fact the more we laughed, the funnier it became.
"Jasper, enough!" I yelled through my incessant giggles.
Finally it died down to a few chuckles every now and then. Alice proceeded to put me into a lovely red satin strapless mini-dress, wrapped and twisted in sparkling red chiffon. She finished with a pair of red satin pumps; she had given up on me in heels until after the change… if there ever was one.
I looked into the enormous full length mirror; by now I had become accustomed to not looking at myself too closely while Alice was in her creative process – I only paid any attention to the completed product as per her wishes.
I must say, Alice really has an eye for taste. I looked like the spirit of Christmas present… as well as much like a real Christmas present.
"Beautiful, Alice you've done it again. I don't even look like me." I complimented.
Alice just beamed.
"Too bad Edward is in the same funk I am. I'm sorry, I still can't get over it all, Alice I just want to be like you… like all of you. Why can't he just give in, just this once?"
Alice just smiled sympathetically and led me into the great room. It was beautiful. The Christmas tree had to be at least twelve feet tall and was wrapped in red and gold. The rest of the house had been similarly coordinated to match the tree and smelled wonderful.
Esme, dressed in a sapphire tea-length gown, her hair in a flawless up do, came into the room with a huge plate of Christmas cookies.
"Esme, you guys don't even eat… how in the world do you always end up with so much food?"
"Bella, it's not so much the quantity, but the fact that I love doing it. It might be mainly for you, and don't forget Charlie, but it makes me feel or like… well human again."
Emmett came in just then bearing great loads of gifts to place under the tree.
"Wow, Emmett. I didn't get you guys anything. I feel awful."
"Bells, it's not so much the gift but the giving of it that makes one happy. No, wait… that didn't sound right. Um, squirt, it doesn't matter that you're poor compared to us, because there's nothing you could give us that we don't already have anyway, so, don't worry about it." He said beaming. For Emmett, that was as close to a gem of wisdom we were going to get.
The rest of the family joined us one by one. By now, my anger was starting to dispel, but maybe that's just because Edward wasn't here yet.
Rosalie walked in wearing a gorgeous emerald green gown. It was long-sleeved and tight fitting. It made her look like she was ready for the red carpet and to fulfill Emmett's entire Christmas list all at once.
Alice reappeared wearing a sweetheart, gold sparkly number. It suited her well. The men-folk look just as dashing.
Carlisle was sporting something that looked both festive and vintage, with a velvet waistcoat and tails on his tux.
Jasper was wearing his officer's uniform, or a very nice replica of it and Emmett, well… Emmett was sporting a nice polo and slacks. What more could you ask?
After we had all been seated a while hearing stories of Christmas past, I began to wonder if Edward was going to attend. Carlisle noticed me looking around and said, "He'll be along, he said to start the festivities without him."
I nodded and continued visiting with the Cullens.
After some time, Emmett and Jasper had a few games of their own making going on. From what I could understand, Emmett had challenged Jasper to send huge bursts of feeling and emotion at him and he would resist.
So far Emmett had only resisted one, the other times he had cried like a baby, pushed Jasper over the coffee table, and made out with the large nut-cracker statue that Alice had decorated with glitter to enhance it's presence.
The emotion Emmett had resisted was confusion, but then again… maybe that was so much a resist as a 'don't understand' – either way, the rest of us had had a wonderful laugh.
Emmett, now covered in gold glitter, sat for a rest on the sofa near me. "I say we open gifts, it's getting dark outside!"
"No, Emmett, we should wait on your brother." Esme said.
Carlisle put his hand on her back as he spoke. "No, Edward was very specific. He said to go ahead, that he would be along later."
So the gifting began.
Alice received three new credit cards and a new purse. Esme was given a new bake ware set and some earrings. Emmett was gifted with the newest and most expensive videogame system known to man.
"It hasn't even come out in the U.S. yet!" he exclaimed as he opened it.
Carlisle received a pocket watch and tie pin. (I guess gifts for dads are the same across the board no matter who you are.) And Jasper received a new, well, old actually, rifle and cleaning kit.
Rosalie got several boxes of clothes and make up. Bet you'll never guess who her secret Santa was…
I was last to open my gifts. I received a beautiful music box that played my lullaby, from Jasper.
"This is beautiful, Jasper, how did you ever find such a thing?" I exclaimed.
"Well, Alice tipped me off as to a specialist in this sort of thing in Switzerland. I gave him a recording of the tune I wanted… said he could do it, guess he was right."
I smiled and then frowned. Edward still was no where to be found. Just as I was about to say as much, Alice screamed.
"Edward Cullen! What happened to you?!"
I looked in the direction of her anger. He was standing at the door in what must have begun as a very handsome silver brocade and velvet tux. I say began because half of it was bloodied and still wet and dripping.
"Edward?" I whispered.
He walked toward me.
"I'm sorry I'm a mess Bella. I've been hunting." He said quietly.
"Hunting? You skipped out on our party to hunt? You ate yesterday!" Alice exclaimed again.
"No, Alice, I skipped the party to hunt so that I could give Bella her gift." He turned to me.
As he dropped to one knee and looked up, his eyes the brightest gold I had ever seen.
"Bella Marie Swan, I love you more than life itself. I hoped that I could show it to you by merely being everything you ever wanted. I had hoped that my presence would satiate you for a while; though I doubted it would really last as long as I had hoped."
I opened my mouth to speak but he held up one finger.
"Wait, let me finish. When I asked you what you wanted for Christmas this morning, I had been warned by Alice what would happen and all night I thought of it. I knew Alice would not be wrong, and still I planned to ask, but then I thought, 'What will happen to us eventually if I keep refusing her?'
And I knew… eventually, you would give up on me. While that thought was slightly attractive, that you'd no longer beg to be a vampire, it would also mean you had really given up on me as a person, as the love of your life.
While you might still love me, things would never be the same. Bella I could never live with that. So now I ask you, with all my heart… "Will you join me for eternity, and will you let that eternity begin tonight?"
My eyes were filled with tears. I nodded my head silently, because I could not find my voice.
Esme spoke next, "What about Charlie?"
"It's all been taken care of… I took one of the bodies that had been freshly buried this morning in Seattle, her height and weight was similar to Bella's. I mauled it and placed it in the woods next to her house.
The Denali clan is ready and waiting for us, the house in Alaska is waiting. We leave after…"
He did not finish his sentence.
He stood slowly and looked down at me. He leaned down and whispered in my ear. "I love you Bella, forever." He said.
"I love you too Edwarr…." I gasped. Pain shot through me, liquid fire everywhere.
I tried to scream but it was no use. My voice was burnt up and lay in ashes in my throat. I think I passed out from the pain, because the next thing I knew I woke to brilliant sunlight coming through the window.
"Merry Christmas, love." He whispered in my ear, waking me from a nightmarish existence.
"How can I fulfill your Christmas wish?" Edward said, his smile bright as the morning sun.
"Edward, what day is it?" I asked, his skin sparkling like the newly fallen snow as the rays of sun hit his face.
"Alice has proclaimed it Christmas day until you've woken up and can join us… but really it's December 28th." He laughed.
I laughed too, my voice, like a phoenix rising from the ashes, rang out in a lovely cadence.
"Kiss me." I said.
"What?"
"You asked how you could fulfill me Christmas wish, Edward… all I want for Christmas is you, so if you kiss me, I will consider it fulfilled."
"As you wish, my love." He whispered as he leaned down.
I expected a gentle, chaste kiss as I had always received, but to my surprise, Edward kissed me with all the fervor and need that he must have been holding back since we had met.
I was breathless afterwards.
"Now, how can I fulfill your Christmas wish, Edward?" I asked sweetly.
Edward gave me his crooked grin, but this time there was an evil glint to it, playful, one I had never seen before… it sent a thrill through me. As he leaned down to nuzzle my neck I focused on the ceiling above the bed.
It was covered in mistletoe.
"Oh, Alice." I said quietly.
Edward raised his head and looked me in the eye.
"Alice? Just what a man wants to hear come out of his lady's mouth while in the throes of passion. His sister's name." he laughed.
"Throws of passion? I'll show you throes of passion…" I growled.