Quick disclaimer, we all know I don't own Naruto or any of the characters or else I wouldn't even be writing fanfiction.
Without further ado, here is 'The Price We Pay.' A lot of time went into writing this, so I really appreciate that you're here. I know I've been neglecting my readers but I've had a terrible bout of writers' block and I hope this will somewhat make up for it.
Kisame Hoshigaki was a terrifying man. Everything about him was intimidating, from his towering height and stature to his powerful, muscular build to his sharp, cold eyes and twisted grin. He prided himself in being as strong as his looks implied, if not stronger. He would inflict fear into the hearts of his opponents with just one look, and his prowess in battle backed up their fears.
He was very much like the aquatic animal he resembled. He could smell his victims from miles away and home in on them without much effort, tearing them limb from limb. He was perceptive, sharp, and brutal.
He was a heartless killer, feeling no remorse.
He had a hole where his heart once was. His human side had all but left him years ago. He wasn't held back or weighed down by emotional weakness like others might be.
He was so sure of this... until his world was gradually turned on its head; slowly but then all at once.
Itachi Uchiha was a young man who defected from the leaf village for his own actions. He had slaughtered every member of his family (save for his brother) in cold blood, without as much as a bat of an eye.
He was intriguing to the shark in many ways. He clearly possessed unique and deadly talents, and his display of heartlessness made something arise in Kisame that he was sure had died years ago: a desire to acquaint with this man. This Uchiha boy would be his partner, he made sure of it.
Upon meeting, the two fought just as any of the new Akatsuki pairs did, but their hostility quickly subsided and peaceful coexistence took its place. The shark and the raven were an ideal two-man team.
Itachi didn't talk much, and for that Kisame was thankful. He enjoyed quiet and he hated when he was pestered into conversing against his wishes. He was almost always the one to initiate conversation with the raven, and it was only on his terms.
At first, that was exactly how their partnership went. It was cordial and professional. Kisame attributed their lack of interaction to beginner's nerves, but he quickly learned that it was not. Itachi Uchiha did not get nervous. In fact, he didn't appear to feel anything.
Kisame had prided himself on being a cold, heartless beast, but even he showed emotion now and again. He showed relief when things went well, he allowed himself to smirk and grin when he had a particularly good kill. He showed anger and hate and other emotions too.
Itachi showed nothing.
Kisame wanted to be okay with it. It was everything he had wanted in a partner, but now that it was sitting right in front of his nose on a silver platter, he wasn't content.
He wanted to see Itachi express something.
He prided himself on being heartless, but now he had seen true heartlessness and it made something prickle uncomfortably on the back of his neck. He wasn't this unfeeling.
He didn't just want to see Itachi express something, he wanted to be the one to make him feel.
It was when they had been partners for nearly a year when Kisame's curiosity - no, irritation - got the best of him. He needed to incite some kind of response from this man. He made this one of his goals.
Over the course of that year, Kisame's admiration for the Uchiha had grown immensely. The raven was a prodigy - everything he did was exacted with a calculated precision and backed up by raw talent. His abilities never ceased to amaze the shark who, up until now, had thought that he was past the point of ever being this impressed - so impressed that he felt dumbfounded - by someone else.
In addition to the observation of his abilities, Kisame had also begun to notice other things about the Uchiha. For one, he had long, shiny dark hair that he usually pulled back into a low ponytail. The taller man suspected it was tied back merely for convenience, but it didn't detract from Itachi's appearance at all. The Uchiha also had pale, creamy, flawless skin - a stark contrast to his raven-black hair.
His features were delicate and perfect. His nose was thin and pointed, positioned above pale pink, thin lips. His eyes were perhaps the most alluring - and frightening - of all his features. They were almost continuously in the sharingan state, crimson red with a splash of black. Kisame had only seen his true eye color a handful of times.
He also had really long eyelashes - almost too long to belong to a man, Kisame thought. They were - dare he say - beautiful.
It became quite obvious to Kisame that Itachi Uchiha was very handsome. It was an objective observation on the shark's part.
At least, that's what he told himself.
Another emotion had been bubbling in the black pit where Kisame's heart used to be, one that he dared not acknowledge.
Kisame did not feel any sort of romantic attraction to another person; that went without saying. He indulged in sexual activity now and again, but only because it was a biological and physical necessity. He didn't do it because of an emotional pull or because of the desire to create bonds.
And now that he found the emotion of attraction threatening to surface, he felt disgusted with himself. He wasn't supposed to feel things like this. He thought that maybe if he didn't acknowledge it, it would go away. The damage had already been done though.
Kisame realized (very uncomfortably) that he was attracted to Itachi Uchiha.
Love was such a pointless, weak emotion. This was especially true of unrequited love. That was why Kisame had no interest in pursuing it.
This attraction to his younger partner was ridiculous. It was very obvious that his affections would never be returned. Itachi showed nothing and felt nothing.
This was part of the reason Kisame tried so hard to get him to feel something: to prove to himself that the Uchiha had emotions.
If the raven-haired boy was able to get the heartless shark to feel again, then the shark was going to get him to do the same. He made sure of it.
...
It was the middle of a roaring, humid summer, and the two of them were just completing their mission. It was a pretty routine thing; they had gone out in search of a man in the bingo book. Kakuzu had expressed the organization's need for money, and this time the two of them had been sent out to kill this guy. Kisame had wondered why the miserly old man hadn't gone out and done it himself, but things had gotten slow and the shark was itching for a chance to kill, so he did not complain.
Naturally, the target had been easy to kill and nab. This man was dangerous enough to have a large bounty on his head, but his abilities were still outclassed by the duo of Akatsuki. The two had escaped with minor injuries; Kisame had suffered from a few scratches here and there, and Itachi's damage had been more self-inflicted. He shouldn't have had to use the mangekyo sharingan at all, but he did, and he was now suffering from minor chakra depletion and the associated fatigue.
They were headed back to the meeting place with the body so that Kakuzu could pick it up and take it to the collection office when a large clap of thunder rang through the valley.
Kisame glanced up at the sky, adjusting his grip on the corpse and squinting. The sky was gray and cloudy, the air humid and dense. It was a summertime thunderstorm, created by the sheer amount of heat in the atmosphere. The air was charged and felt agitated.
"This one's going to be big," Kisame muttered, returning his gaze to the path in front of him.
"Hn," Itachi hummed in agreement.
A large crack of jagged light streaked across the sky, accompanied with a crash of thunder. As if on cue, the heavens opened up and began to pour on their heads.
The rain was coming down in hard, heavy droplets, cool and wet in the air.
"Let's try to find some shelter," Kisame suggested.
Itachi continued to stare ahead as they walked, unfazed by the heavy deluge. "I always thought you preferred the rain, Kisame."
Kisame made a motion with his hands and shrugged. "I do, but I'd rather not be lugging around a soggy corpse. He's already heavier than Samehada as it is."
Itachi nodded slowly. "That makes sense," he said in that deep voice of his.
Kisame smirked to himself. It was nice to hear Itachi's voice. It was pleasant on the ears - low and velvety, smooth and rich. It contrasted greatly with his own sandpapery voice.
Thunder rolled up above, and the two hastened their pace. They ran toward a rocky formation up ahead, hoping that they could find a cave or something.
There was a rough, wet cough and Kisame stopped and looked back to see if his partner was keeping up.
Itachi was clutching at his chest, stumbling slightly. A light spatter of blood dotted the ground in front of him before quickly being washed away by rain.
"You... You okay, Itachi?" Kisame asked.
"I'm fine, Kisame," Itachi choked.
Kisame approached the smaller man slowly, uncomfortably. He knew it was from an illness he wasn't supposed to know about, along with the effects of using the mangekyo sharingan, and he had to hold back to keep himself from saying "I told you so." The shark had warned Itachi many times before about overusing his sharingan, but now was not the time to be chewing him out.
Still, the ill effects of the visual jutsu Itachi always performed made Kisame feel concern, something he cared not to admit.
"Hey, don't make me have to carry you too," Kisame joked lightly. He shifted his weight and adjusted his grip on the corpse, now heavier from his waterlogged clothing.
"I'll be fine Kisame," Itachi urged. "Let's just find some place to wait out the storm."
Kisame nodded and looked forward. "Let's head over there."
They resumed their walking.
Kisame hated himself for thinking such treacherous thoughts. He shouldn't feel the amount of concern that he had for Itachi. He should care for his safety simply as a comrade, as a partner. He was only essential as a teammate, and teammates could be replaced.
But the shark knew that he couldn't be replaced; he wasn't just any old partner, and he hated himself for getting so attached to the Uchiha.
They approached the rocky formation and dove into the treeline. Sure enough, there was a medium-sized opening in the side of the cliff, hidden from the rain by a rocky outcropping and a few trees.
"There," Kisame grunted, pointing to it.
The two black-cloaked men hurried into the shelter as the rain came down with more force and another flash of lightning was simultaneously accompanied by a loud crash of thunder. The storm was right overhead, it seemed.
The cave was dark and sort of cold, but it was dry and that would suffice for now. They were out of the rain.
Kisame set the corpse down with a grunt and shook himself off, water droplets flying everywhere from his soaked Akatsuki robes. He wandered back to the entrance of the cave, a sigh escaping from his lips.
He looked out and up at the dreary, slate gray sky. The clouds looked angry, spitting bolts of lightning across the sky. The thunder was low and Kisame could feel the rumbling deep in his chest.
The tall man was very much like a shark; he was sensitive to electrical impulses and he felt truly energized when the weather was like this.
"This might be a while," he said, crossing his arms and watching the rain fall.
There was a flare of heat behind him, felt on the backs of his legs. He turned and saw Itachi crouched on the ground, kneeling in front of a pile of smoldering twigs and branches. A few fingers were brought to his puckered lips, his eyes focused in concentration.
Kisame smirked a little and sat down next to the Uchiha. "Good thinking," he said. He did not know where Itachi got the firewood, and at this point he wasn't about to ask.
Itachi blew another stream of fire at the pile and it erupted in a steady flame.
Kisame held his hands out towards the fire and, after a moment of thought, removed his soaked black cloak. It would only make him colder if he continued to wear it.
Itachi made no such motion, instead pulling his legs in close and hugging them as he sat.
They were silent for a little, concentrated more on warming themselves up than on conversing. There really wasn't much to talk about anyways.
Kisame preferred Itachi's company, and it didn't really matter to him how much or how little they talked. He'd rather have a quiet partner he could get along with than a talkative one who he constantly bickered with.
He glanced at his younger partner, whose pale face was illuminated by the orange glow of the fire. His blood-red eyes were alive, dancing with the reflection of the flames.
He narrowed his eyes and realized that the raven was shivering.
His mouth fell open and immediately he was kicking himself for getting so emotional about this kid. Why in the world should he care so much if he was feeling cold? Why was he feeling the need to see Itachi warm up? He shouldn't care about his partner's comfort and health on such a personal level!
"You're staring, Kisame," Itachi said, his eyes never once leaving the fire.
Kisame widened his eyes and shook his head to try and bring himself back to the reality of the cave. Dammit! He had been staring, and even worse, Itachi had noticed.
"And you're shivering, are you not?" Kisame asked back, ignoring Itachi's statement.
Itachi's gaze shifted from the fire to his blue companion. Kisame was avoiding eye contact, but he could feel the sharingan settle on him. "I'm fine," the raven said.
Kisame frowned. "You're cold though."
"It does not matter," Itachi said with a sigh. "I'm always a bit cold."
Kisame finally looked at his partner, his facial expression resembling concern, but that could not be. Kisame Hoshigaki did not feel concern for others.
"Please, Itachi, take off your cloak," Kisame sighed. "At least until it's dry."
Itachi turned his head and said nothing.
Kisame frowned and bit his lip hard, his razor-sharp teeth drawing pinpoints of blood. He had delved into unfamiliar, uncomfortable emotional territory there. Outwardly, he hadn't betrayed his astute character too much, but inside he felt like he wasn't himself.
Treacherous thoughts of wanting to warm up the slighter man had crossed his mind. Itachi was always a little cold.
For such a cold-blooded beast, Kisame always had a little heat to spare.
...
He did not know how they went from silently sitting around a fire as acquaintances to sharing a bed or kissing or other unspeakable things. It was inconceivable.
But they had and he did not regret it. Over time, Kisame's cold apprehension turned into determination. He was going to make Itachi feel something.
A few months after the thunderstorm incident, they had been assigned to a mission in the land of snow. True to its name, the land of snow was full of... well... snow. Kisame did not care for snow.
The nature of mission itself held no importance in Kisame's memory because it was overshadowed by much more drastic events.
They had found a cozy inn to stay the night, and the details of the night are still hazy in Kisame's mind. The whole miserable trip before that night was gray, wet, and freezing. The night at the inn was filled with warm soup, a hot fire, and alcohol that burned the throat and stomach.
The following morning the shark woke up next to the raven in a rather compromising position.
They were both still wearing clothes, much to his relief, so it was probable that they hadn't done things he would regret. Still, the broader man was only inches away from the back of his slighter, younger partner, who was still asleep as far as Kisame could tell.
Even worse was the fact that he could not pull away - Itachi was laying on one of his arms, the other draped over the raven's side.
The worst of all was that Kisame didn't hate it.
Itachi stirred in his sleep and Kisame's pulse raced. Forget his own confused feelings - how would Itachi react when he noticed the shark man spooning him?
A shiver passed through Itachi's body and Kisame's body reacted on its own, completely independent of his wishes. He moved closer to Itachi's shivering form and allowed the sharing of body heat.
They were a perfect fit.
Kisame laid there, unable to move. He was petrified that his body could betray him so much.
Itachi said nothing and did nothing to signal that he was awake, so Kisame stayed there. A sigh of relief escaped from his pale blue lips and he allowed his eyes to close once again.
...
Itachi must have woken up next on that morning, because when Kisame opened his eyes again Itachi was already up. He said nothing about the cuddling, and Kisame quickly decided to act as though he didn't know it even happened.
It had become a regular thing for them to share a bed. It always went the same - they would fall asleep separately and at some point in the night become entangled in each other's arms.
When they woke, Kisame's arm was always around Itachi.
No words were shared about this. Itachi didn't complain and Kisame didn't bring it up. He had a feeling that his partner must be aware of it by now, but he hadn't said a word that might imply that he knew.
The black hole that was formerly Kisame's heart - the empty chamber that had long grown cold and hardened - was slowly becoming warm and malleable once again. It was an unfamiliar sensation.
Though he could have easily said something to Itachi about the cuddling and stopped it altogether, he didn't.
He didn't want it to stop. If being silent about it meant they could continue to share this, then he'd gladly keep quiet forever.
Cuddling had become an unspoken ritual that neither of them wanted to stop.
For Itachi, Kisame provided warmth and an anchor to keep him grounded in this otherwise chaotic world he lived in.
He was one of the only few people Itachi would ever consider a friend.
The shark provided a constant companionship without getting on his nerves or ever intruding. He was a welcome presence, and things were never quite dull or mundane with the swordsman around.
Itachi was very much a loner by nature, as was Kisame, but both of them made an exception for the other.
When Itachi found himself in Kisame's arms that morning, he felt very strange about it. It wasn't a bad strange, just... different.
Kisame had a few too many drinks the night before, but so had Itachi. The raven wasn't much of a drinker, and especially not while on missions, but against his better judgment he gave in. They were still traveling, after all, and travel through the snowstorm had been horrendous.
There was only one bed in the room and it was too cold to sleep on the floor. It went without saying that both men were to keep their distance from each other while they slept. They had shared beds on past missions and that was the way it always went.
But when morning came around and Itachi woke up with a pounding headache and the unfamiliar weight of a man's arm draped over his side, he wasn't quite sure how to react.
He would have killed any man who dared intrude on his space like this had it not been for several things.
It wasn't just that Kisame was a person whose company Itachi decided he liked. Itachi was able to kill those he felt close to. He'd killed his mother and father despite feeling an undeniable love for them.
He enjoyed being around Kisame very much. He was not a hasty man and he knew killing him would have an irreversible consequence. The fearsome shark from Kirigakure had earned himself the rare favor of the raven.
He also knew that it was drastic to kill Kisame for something as minor as an invasion of space in bed. He didn't even seem to be awake.
Itachi also spared Kisame of any embarrassment by keeping this secret.
He might have also enjoyed this, but for the moment being he would lie to himself and say there was still alcohol in his system. Or something like that.
Something must be messing with his judgmental capacity, because Itachi Uchiha was certain that he did not want to be spooning with anyone.
Especially not a blue shark monster whom he considered his good friend.
...
Kisame was observant. He could see the raven getting weaker with each passing day. He could feel him slipping through his fingers like water.
He wasn't supposed to know about Itachi's illness, but he was keen and couldn't be fooled. He saw the raven discreetly taking the medication that would slow the sickness from consuming him too quickly. The Uchiha's coughs became more and more bloody, each taking more of a toll on his body than the last.
Kisame couldn't ignore the fact that Itachi was thinner than ever, too. As he held him close at night, the shark man noticed how frail the raven was becoming. His large blue hands rested on thin sides that were once lean and muscular. His hip bones became more prominent and his ribs were visible in his chest.
As much as Itachi tried to hide the suffering he endured, he couldn't mask the dark circles under his eyes and the slightly sunken cheeks. He was tired and weak.
Now that the raven had breathed life into Kisame's cold, dead heart, he couldn't bear to think about the pain of having that life sucked out of him once again. He didn't want to accept the reality that was right in front of his nose: his time with Itachi was growing short.
But he was a rational man and knew that, rather than live in denial, he would make the most of the time he had with Itachi. It was hard to let himself be close when he knew it would only hurt him in the end, but he accepted this risk.
Kisame treasured his time with the raven; he wasn't sure when it would end, but he was glad to have called him his comrade, his partner, his friend. He would rather lose him and be left with memories than to have never met him at all.
The hurt was worth it.
For now, Itachi was his, and that was all that mattered to the fearsome killer from Kirigakure.
Thanks for reading! A lot of time and effort went into writing this (well over a year) and I wanted to make sure I was happy with it before I published. Please take the time to leave me a review if you can :)
-Gallade