HELLO! and welcome to a crack fic! Well there is a plot and all but I like to say that Im crazy and so is this story. W/E! So enjoy my crack fic!

I DON'T OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN HERE!

There will be YAOI, little of non-yaoi, if you squint hard...NO LIKE NO READ!

"Hey Reborn! Why do I have to spy on the girls? It dosen't feel right. It's like they can't trust me you know. And I feel like a stalker now." whine Tsuna as he and reborn watch their friends, Haru and Kyouko from afar.

Tsuna is a fifteen year old boy with brown spiky hair. He has big round hazel eyes and his figure is a little girlish. Did I also mention that he is the next mafia boss in the Vongola family? He will be the Tenth boss when the ninth retires. Since Tsuna found this out he was trained by only the well known mafia baby, Reborn. Reborn only looks like a toddler but he is the strongest, fastest, and wisest in the whole mafia world. He is the one who causes mayhem to Tsuna's once normal life.

"Dame-Tsuna. We our observing how a female behaves. You must learn how they walk, talk, react with others, and what they eat. This is a test and if you fail then I will have to push you of a cliff where sharks swim in the bottom." Reborn replied with no emotions in his eyes.

"ANO! Reborn, you can't do that!" Tsuna replied just too loudly because the girls they were watching turn around to hear where that sound came from.

"Haru thought she heard Tsuna's voice. Maybe Haru is hearing things." Replied the girl name Haru. Haru is a brunet that keeps her hair tied up and always saying her name in every sentence.

"Maybe I am too, Haru. I thought I heard Tsuna-kun's voice as well. But he's not here." Kyoko replied. Kyoko has orange hair that is shoulder lenght. She is the pride of Namimori Highschool even thought she is only a freshman. She is pure innocent in every way (not every way), and is the only one who can make Tsuna's heart race fast.

In the bushes Reborn is peeking through to make sure the girls didn't suspect anything. Next to him was a crying Tsuna with his mouth covered. He had received a blow to the head when he spoke to loudly, and is trying not to make the same mistake twice. When Reborn saw the girls continued on walking he leap from the bushes and hid near buildings with stealth. Tsuna tried but, well, he wasn't all that good. Don't get me wrong now! He has improved over the last two years Reborn was with him, but he can still be better.

Tsuna watch from a coffee shop across the street from where Kyoko and Haru were window shopping. They 'aww' and 'ooh' over dresses, shirts, and shoes that appeal to them. Tsuna figured that this was the best way to see what Kyoko liked. He then started to imagine the surprise look on said girl's face as he bought her the things she always wanted. But the fantasy was cut short as Reborn wacked Tsuna on the head, again so he can pay attention.

"Dame-Tsuna. Look." and Reborn pointed towards a crowd of girls who were staring at a poster. Tsuna spotted Haru and Kyoko near the front of the crowd with googly-heart-shaped eyes. "They're staring at that new PopStar singer, Nukeyo Sugea. He has sold thousands of his hit single 'The pain I've had' and is on the top on the HIT list." Reborn stated as he informed Tsuna.

"So? Why do I have to know so much about him anyways? He's a singer that girls adore but that's all right?" questioned Tsuna. He started to freak out when he saw a glint in his tutor's eyes. "Reborn! All I need to know is that Kyoko-san and Haru love this singer right? Reborn!"

"He also goes out with every female singer that reaches the top 10." with that said, Reborn hurried along into the music store where the girls were so they can get the latest CD of Nukeyo. Tsuna was left to the horrors of what his tutor was planning later on in the future. It wasn't very pretty for him and I think it left him scared for the rest of his life.

At Tsuna's bedroom

Tusna was replaying all that he learned from the girls today. They ate little portions of food that were healthy, barely any meat. Their eyes would always sparkle when they saw anything adorable to them, and scream from delight to see pictures of that Pop Singer, Nukeyo. Tusna shivered at that from the fact that Reborn was planning something that involves him and that Pop Singer. He JUST knew it. But he had to shake it off and concentrate. There were going to involve more sneaking around and Tsuna had to remember everything. The last thing was that the girls would buy loads of sweets and enjoy eating them. They called it 'There reward of the week' Or something like that.

Tsuna was too tried from all the spying and the fact that girls were so crazy at time to really stay awake to see if he missed anything. So off to sleep he went and he dreamed of the next day.

A Week Later

A week has past and Tsuna knew everything there was to a girl. Since the teacher was blabbing on about something Tsuna's mind wonder off. His mind went to the past week and everything he had learned. He made a list in his head to keep reminding him.

1) Girls care of their weight, so never call them fat or they'll beat you up

How Tsuna Knows (HTK)- He saw Kyoko and Haru beat up a few girls when they called them fat. He never knew Kyoko can be so violent.

2) Girls love shoes, lots and lots of shoes

H.T.K. - Almost every store they went to were shoe stores. It was really boring!

3) Girls love to dress really nice, so they try on dresses, skirts, or very bright color t-shirts

H.T.K.- Whenever the girls went in to a store that didn't sell shoes it was either dress, skirts, or stores call Rainbow and Limited Two

4) Girls reward themselves once every week by buying loads of sweets and sharing them all with other friends

H.T.K. - He seen and accompanied once before and so this isn't very new to him

5) Not all girls like to dress up, some like to wear more of boyish clothes

H.T.K. - He saw other girls that sat on the seat near the dressing room pretending to gag whenever the clothing's were so girly (as they say), the other friends would just laugh and joke how boyish they are, Tsuna didn't mind these girls

6)- ALL girls love the new hit Pop Singer, Nukeyo Sugea, and that means the tomboys

H.T.K.- Reborn told him and the way every girl in town stares at his poster and mumbles about meeting him one day, Tsuna shivers whenever he hears, speaks, or thinks of that person, gives him a bad feeling

7) Girls love jewelry as much as they love Nukeyo maybe more! Tomboys like the skulls, small earrings, or in secrete, hops and glitter

H.T.K. - The girls' go 'goo-goo-gaa-gaa' whenever they saw pearls, rings, earrings, diamonds, etc.

8) Girls have high pitch voices, squeals, and screams just like Tsuna

H.T.K. - Reborn makes fun of Tsuna for his girly voice when they compare his voice to the girls random squeals and so on, Tsuna gets mad when he is told he has a girly voice, so don't mention it to him

That is everything he knows of a girl. If he were to dress up as one these were to come in handy. Not saying he is, but in the just in case thing.

Tsuna was so tried. His head was killing him trying to remember anything he might have left off. He was so busy in his thoughts that he didn't notice the teacher standing next to his desk ready to whack him on the head just like Reborn dose. But instead all the teacher did was slamming his hand on Tsuna's desk to hear Tsuna scream like a girl.

All the boys were staring at him as they heard that shriek. They started to see Tsuna in a whole new light, even some of his friends. Tsuna was oblivious to all this and just blushed from the fact that he wasn't paying attention. The day went on all-most normal. Some of the boys were too touchy toward Tsuna. He kept receiving pats on the back, his hair was ruffled by his male class mates and he could of sworn that some slapped his butt.

Okay, so the day wasn't normal at all. Tusan wonder why. Was it when he screamed when the teacher caught him of guard? But what has that to do with anything? Tsuna was more confuse then before. But luckily his friends seem to protect him when the other boys touched him. Even Yamamoto got mad when they ruffled his hair. Only Yamamoto has ever done that, so Tsuna could guess how he feels to lose the only thing he did.

Lunch came and Tsuan, Gokudera, and Yamamoto were eating their lunch together on the rooftop. They chatted and laugh but the subject got into on how strange the boys were acting towards Tsuna. The mood became angry and was he feeling jealously as well?

"Dam those guys for touching the Tenth. Do they think they're that special to do something like that! I should blow them all away!" Gokudera shouted as he took out his dynamite. Gokudera was the Tenth's (a.k.a. Tsuna) self proclaim Right Hand Man. He has silver hair that was shoulder length with eyes to match. He is an Italian who moved to Japan to see if the future boss of the Vongola family was worthy. In the battle Tsuna didn't only win, but also saved Gokudera from his own bombs. While in his boxers I may add. Since that day Gokudera had a thing for Tsuna.

"Mama Gokudera. Calm down. Its only pats on the back." replied Yamamoto. Even thought in his mind he was thinking of all the ways he could beat the next man who ruffled Tsuna's soft brown hair.

Yamamoto is the baseball star of Namimori High school's baseball team. He has short black spiky hair with an easy grin on his face all the time. His skin was tan from all the hours he played in the sun and was well built from baseball. When he saw the look on Tsuna's fcae after the fight between Gokudera, he fall head-over-heels for him. As they say, it was love at first sight. Yamamoto always wanted to feel how smooth Tsuna's skin really was so he would slump over Tsuna's shoulder or ruffled his hair. With every touch he had with Tsuna, the more he wanted. It was like a drug for him (1).

"Baseball freak shut up! Those guys shouldn't be touching the Tenth and you know it!" Gokudera shouted. He was getting more annoyed and Tsuna was getting worried.

"Ano, Gokurad. It's okay. I don't really mind them patting my shoulders or anything. It makes me feel like I'm a part of their group." once said, Tsuna saw how gloomy Yamamoto and Gokudera looked, "Not saying that I'm not happy to be with you guys or anything! Actually, if I had to chose who to hang around it'd be with you instead of the other guys."

When Gokudera and Yamamoto heard this they couldn't help but blush and smile. When they heard that Tsuna didn't mind being touched by other men (I DIDN'T SAY IT LIKE THAT!) they were worried that they were losing Tsuna's heart. But after the fact that Tsuna would choice them over any other guy in the school, (STOP CHANGING MY WORDS!) it made their hearts beat faster and heated up their face.

Tsuna just smiled worriedly at how his friends were acting. 'Are they having a PMS moment or something?' He tried to ignore them and continued to finish his lunch. Then came a feeling, it was like someone was watching them, or him to be more precise. But he couldn't brush it off, the feeling like someone was glaring at him from behind was too strong. When he turns he wished he didn't. 'ANO! Hibari-san is glaring at me! But WHY? What did I do?'

Soon lunch was over and Tsuna only finished half of his food. It didn't matter because he lost his appetite. Today was getting weirder and weirder by the minute.

When school was over no one laid a hand on Tsuna. They stared at him and dream of things about him, but they wouldn't dare touch him again. Tsuna wonder why but just shrugged it of. His friends, however, were more happy then normal to see that they were the only ones who can touch Tsuna again.

'Looks like no one is going to die from me this night.' They thought in unison.

As they walked to Tsuna's house together, Tsuna had another feeling like he was being watched. He didn't dare to turn around but asked if Gokudera would see if anyone was following them. Tsuna was to scared from the last time he looked back to deal with anything strange or frightful.

When Gokudera turn, along with Yamato because he wanted to see, they saw Hibari string down at Tsuna. When the perfect caught them, he threatens them to tell Tsuna that he was following. They turn back and told Tsuna there was nobody there. Tsuna let go of the breath he held and was more joyess on the walk home. The feeling of being watch, thought, never left him.

Next Day

The next day of school was the same as yesterday, with people staring at him while adult images pass through their minds. Tusan didn't like the extra attention and kept moving in his seat to shake the feelings off. This didn't help but only put more fuel in to their minds of how Tsuna can be wiggling under...Im getting ahead of myself sorry.

But lunch was weird. Yamamoto insisted that he hand feed Tsuna the extra food that he brought, while Gokudera tried to do the same thing. Tsuna tried to say that he wasn't hungry and he had his own food but they didn't listen. Actually, every time Tsuna open his mouth to say something, he was fed with the best food he has ever tasted. He couldn't help but moan at the flavors that exploded in his mouth and licked his lips slowly to get anything he might of missed. Let's just say when ever that happen Yamamoto and Gokudera had to go to the bathroom to stop the nose bleed.

At the end of the day when everyone was leaving, Yamamoto didn't come because he had practice, and Gokudera had something important to do. Tsuan understand and was on his way home. For a month they have been doing this, hand feeding him and leaving him to walk alone. He was starting to wonder. Baseball was coming to an end and how many important things did Gokudera have to do?

He let it slid and walked on home, again alone. When he was halfway there he was surprise to see Hibari was walking his way. Tsuna just kept his head down and tried to walk past Hibari without touching the perfect. But he bumped into him and was scared to death at what might happen.

"Sorry Hi-Hibari-san. I di-din't meant to bu-bump into you." Started Tsuna as he held his hand out over his face as if to say he meant no harm or disrespect.

But instead of being bitten to death, as Hibari all ways dose, his hands were pulled down from his face. Tsuna look wide-eyed at Hibari-san as the Perfect push Tsuna to the wall. With the sudden impact Tsuna opened his mouth for a silent cry of pain. With that Hibari gently put a small hard candy into Tsuna's mouth. When Tsuna closed his mouth, however, he didn't only feel the candy, but Hibari's finger as well. That surprise look came back to Tsuna as he tried to pull away only to suck on the finger as he did.

When the finger finally came out of Tsuna's mouth, with a 'pop' sound, Hibari lean in close to Tsuna's face and whisper, "Enjoy your dessert." With that said, Hibari walked away to where every that boy went.

Tsuna was left staring at where the Perfect once stood as he replayed the events. Tsuna's face became red and he hurried along the way to his home while sucking on the candy. "Strawberry. did Hibari now that is my favorite?" Tsuna shocked what he said away. "How would he now what was my favorite or not? Im going crazy! But what happen when..." Red face Tsuna walked into his home with the events re-replaying in his mind.

"Tsuna, how was your day?" Asked Reborn as Tsuna walked in. He noticed how his face was red and the fact that he was sucking on a hard candy. "Who gave you the candy?"

"Today was...Pretty normal I guess and I have homework to do. Tell mom I'm fine." With that Tsuna ran up to his room and slam his door then locked it.

"Dame-Tsuna. You didn't answer my question on the candy." With that a glint appeared in the tutor's eye's of the future events."Tomorrow you are going to lose all normality. So I guess that will be your punishment for not answering my question."

TBC...

Story is short I know. I'll try to work on it some more but later Kay? Review or me belly will come to hunt you!! Ank you!

1=You are going to see that every guardian has something to do with Tsuna as their drug. I want to introduce it in this story cuze when this is done, Im gonna make another one with the drugs. Lol, so comment and help me out, please!