I am watching my 10 year old daughter dancing in the field with my little 2 year old, trying to copy her with his chubby toddler legs.
I think that someday I will have to explain to them about my nightmares and when their father grips the edge of the table and starts seeing things that aren't real due to the Tracker Jacker venom that is still there from the capitol.
My thought is interrupted by Peeta, "They will be playing that game forever." he says as we watch her do something and try to get her toddler brother to do it.
"Yeah" I say "But there are much worse games to play..." He nods.
I wake up in a small bed. I do not remember falling asleep. Something feels different. I roll on my side, expecting to see Peeta, but it is not Peeta. It is a much smaller form, she turns around and to my disbelief I see Prim. Prim is dead. My mouth falls open.
"Prim?" I ask unbelievably, "Yeah?" she says. "Why am I here?" I ask, "Am I dead?" Prim frowns, "No…You're not dead." She tells me, "Why would you not be here? Are you okay?" she says worriedly. "Where are Peeta and Iris and Glen?" I ask, very confused now, "Who?" Prim asks. I begin to get annoyed and scared, "My two children…But you weren't…" I can't finish my sentence. I can't say she was dead.
"Children, Katniss?" My mother, who just came in raises her eyebrows at me. "Yes, my children." I say, narrowing my eyebrows. "Katniss, you're 16 years old, don't scare me" Says my mother, "No. I'm…" I run to go look in a mirror. I still look like a teenager, I have fewer wrinkles and my face looks hollowed out in some places. I freak.
"My name is Katniss Everdeen. I'm from district twelve. I am in my old house. That is not possible. My old house was destroyed by Snow. I am not 43 anymore. I look sixteen. I had two children. I do not know where they are. I do not know where my husband is. My husband is Peeta Mellark. We survived the 74th and 75th Hunger Games. My sister, Prim is here. I thought she was dead. Gale might have thought up the bomb that killed her. I do not know what is real and what is not anymore.
I am on the floor, grabbing my knees, closing my eyes and reciting this. It helps me relax. I know this is all just a horrible nightmare and I will wake up next to Peeta any second. But it feels so real. My sister is trying to get me to lie down and so is my mother.
They cannot get me to calm down, no matter what they do. I want my family back.
They manage to get me to lie down on the bed. "Katniss, what were you just saying?" asks Prim softly, "You said something about the Hunger Games and something about me." "I'm sorry, I just…It helps me calm down…" I pause to rub my head because now I have a headache, "What day is it?" I ask Prim. "It's reaping day Katniss" she replies, I cannot believe my ears. "Reaping day for what?" I ask, "The Hunger Games" She replies. I run to the window and vomit. The rebellion I sacrificed so much to keep burning never happened? That is not possible.
I turn around and wipe my mouth on my sleeve, "Prim, the Hunger Games ended years ago." I mutter to her. She shakes her head, "No Katniss, today they are going to reap kids for the 74th Hunger Games." She looks worried and looks at the ground.
My jaw drops. I won the 74th Hunger Games. I won the 75th Hunger Games. "But I won those games" I whisper, partly to myself. "Katniss, it was probably just a dream" says my mother, I shake my head, "But it was so real" I say.
Am I going crazy? I sit in a corner and say to myself "My name is Katniss Everdeen. I'm from district twelve. I am in my old house. That is not possible. My old house was destroyed by Snow. I am not 43 anymore. I look sixteen. I had two children. I do not know where they are. I do not know where my husband is. My husband is Peeta Mellark. We survived the 74th and 75th Hunger Games. My sister, Prim is here. I thought she was dead. Gale might have thought up the bomb that killed her. I do not know what is real and what is not anymore." I repeat this about 30 times, over and over and over again. It is doing nothing to help. I feel lost.
There is a knock on the door and I hear it open. I do not bother to move out of the corner. I hear my sister talking with…Gale. I still feel betrayed by Gale for killing my sister. But that makes no sense because my sister is here. But I don't know where here is anyway.
I hear them talking; "She is having a rough day, probably because of the reaping. She thinks she was in the 74th Hunger Games already" Says Prim. I hear Gale's voice, "She's never done that has she. Maybe I should talk to her about it." I still feel anger towards Gale, he killed my sister, but for some strange reason she is still here.
I hear footsteps coming towards me. "Katniss?" says Gale, "Why are you here?" I growl. I can tell he is confused because there is silence. "I'm sorry." I say "I just had a weird day" I look up. He nods, "Your sister told me" he says.
I find myself out in the woods with Gale, but it is different because the fence still has electricity. I forgot going out in the woods was illegal. I don't talk about anything with Gale, he might get offended.
An hour later I am dressed in the same dress I wore for my 74th Hunger Games and I am surprised it actually fits. I am whisked to the reaping where I stand with the 16 year olds. I can only guess what will happen next, my poor sister will be called and I will volunteer for her.
Next, they will pick the boy, it will be Peeta. Peeta I think and I search the crowd for him, I think I see him where all the boys are grouped. He looks so young, but again I guess I do too. I remember at the last reaping, I was scared for my sister to get called up, now I want her too because I will volunteer for her and the rebellion will start, then the districts will be free.
I am not excited about it, but if I need to do it for the districts, I will. I watch Mage's father, the mayor of District 12 walk up on the stage and he gives a speech. Then I see Effie. I really miss Effie. She is wearing the same outfit she was when I was here last time, whenever last time was.
I hear her say, "Ladies first" she reaches into the middle of the container with all the slips of paper and I know she is going to call Prim. Everything is the same. "Primrose Everdeen" Effie calls out. I watch Prim walk up, my mother is crying. I run after her yelling as I did before "Prim! Prim! No!" and then "I VOLUNTEER! I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE!" This moment is all too familiar. Gale comes and picks Prim up and says "Up you go Catnip"
I try to act the same I did the last time, eyes wide but trying not to cry. I know what will happen next, this time I know it will happen. Poor Peeta is going to be reaped. I find him in the crowd and he seems to be looking at me too, I frown and he frowns back. I did not look at him last time and I do not want anybody to notice, so I look away quickly. "Now for the boy" Effie reaches into the container and pulls out a card, "Peeta Mellark!" she reads. It is just now that I think how weird it is that he has a crush on me and he was called up when I volunteered for my sister…
I see him walk onstage, his eyes are filled with fear and he looks at the ground. I feel sorry for him, but he is going to survive even if he does not know it. He stands next to me and Effie tells us to shake hands, I shake his hand and look him in the eyes. This is strange, since he was my husband for so long and he just now thinks I don't know him, he doesn't know I know everything about him.
I do wonder what has happened and why I am here, but if I think about it anymore my brain is likely to explode.
My mother and Prim and Gale and Peeta's father come to visit me, and then Mage comes and gives me the mocking jay pin. I give her a hug; she does not know this mocking jay pin will be used in the rebellion against the capitol. She does not know that this sign will become famous around all of Panem. I am then escorted to the train, but for once I am not worried.
Next chapter is coming soon :D –HarryPotterFan621