Rating: PG-13—Mild violence, mild language, sexual undertones.
Spoilers: A little bit of a crossover between Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. Set after the Series finale. Technically nothing to spoil if you watched the show.
Disclaimer: All Buffy and Angel characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Productions. Please don't sue me. Unless you want a few of my 5 cats and maybe a laptop.
Summary: Buffy's decided to retire from slaying, but of course she can't totally leave it behind. Or the men who love her.
Authors' Notes: This is my very first and I mean very first fanfic. I've been a huge fan of other people's fanfic and of course an even bigger fan of the show itself, but couldn't bring myself to actually write all the thoughts that ran through my head till recently. I hope you enjoy….and if you don't I wouldn't mind you lying to me hehehe. Okay, I'll take any and all criticism. I can handle it. I think.
Chapter 1 – Paranoia or just another normal night?
It was a quiet night out as Buffy strolled through the cemetery. What town were we in again? Oh right some town in Oklahoma; I guess they were running out of ideas when they decided on this Hellmouth. Not that it really mattered, vampires and other ghoulies were everywhere. I can't believe that I have been doing this now for 10 years. Maybe I should start to consider a retirement of sorts not that any other slayer had ever had the opportunity to retire. Lord knows that after Willow performed that spell that there were plenty of used to be "potentials" that were oh so very more than potential now. But something about strolling through the cemetery every night gives me a feeling of purpose, a time to clear my head.
Not to mention the lack of anyone special in my life to go home to. Riley was just a memory. He was off working for the Initiative somewhere far away that I don't even pretend to believe I could pronounce. Spike had sacrificed himself before I could even contemplate the possibility of getting close to him in the form of dating….where in the past it was purely physical. Now that he was back he was off helping Angel, which was probably for the best. There could only be one vampire out there that I could ever
truly love. Angel was off still making a name for himself in Los Angeles where he turned an evil law firm around and used it to do good things. Another plus added to Angel's redemption column.
Thinking of Angel just makes me remember all the good times and even the bad…yes there would always be a touch of sadness in knowing it could never work, but it didn't stop the heart from racing a bit or still wishing it could work. Another part of me also realizes how much I miss Xander. He is my Xander shaped friend. How could I not love that goofy smile that he smiled just for me? A part of me had always loved him, but I'm not sure I could ever risk that possibility of losing him as a friend. He may not even care about me anymore. Not after Cordelia and Anya. I just didn't realize it till he was gone. Maybe it's too late. Plus, what if we did give it a try and it just ended in another of my relationship messes. Lord knows I've had plenty of messes. Maybe instead of retiring I should just move away and stroll through other cemeteries in other countries, expand my horizons so to speak. What or who would stop me? Xander was of course off in the UK with Dawn as she attended college at Oxford. Willow had gone to Australia, after the sudden loss of Kennedy she found that she needed some time to clear her head.
Giles, well Giles was still here. He wouldn't ever leave me again; at least that is what he had sworn the night I blew up Sunnydale. He had even managed to meet someone new. A lovely woman who ran the coffee shop across from the new Magic Box that we opened; her name was Dorinda Lively, of course it was now Dorinda Giles. Coffee sure was a plus…along with the fact that she knew all our darkest secrets as she had lost her brother to a vampire 3 years ago. She had taken it upon herself to watch out for others who were less informed until we had come along. Now she helps, but in a more advisory capacity, which I know makes Giles worry less.
With all these thoughts I had failed to notice a vampire sneaking up behind me. I heard a "snap" from behind me as a twig broke and immediately berated myself for being so unabsorbed in my surroundings. Where did I hide Mr. Pointy today? Finding it I readied for an attack. Thankfully the vampire was a newbie and easily dispensed of. Dusting myself off I took stock of my surroundings. Now that I'm actually paying attention I can feel the stare of someone watching me. How did I miss that before? I haven't let that happen in a long time. Again my mind comes to the conclusion it may be time for a vacation. As I act nonchalant I hope that the stalker will make an appearance, but I guess he is getting his jollies out of just watching me. Since he isn't trying to kill me or out my activities, I guess I don't have too much to worry about…at least not yet. I think its just time to go home for the night.
As I near my home I can still feel the eyes watching me. It's really beginning to creep me out. I want to yell at them to come out and face me, but I decide that I need to get home. They will attack when they are ready to attack. I make it home without any other incidents thankfully.
I walk up the dirt path towards my new home. It is a beautiful two story brick house with trees surrounding it on all sides. My only neighbors are about 15 miles away. In my line of work it is a plus. As I open the front door I'm accosted by the smell of coffee and burnt popcorn. I turn the corner to the living room and find Giles and Dorinda stretched out and comfy on the sofa. Apparently waiting for me to get home to hear how my patrol went. Dorinda see's me first, "Hi Buffy, sorry for the burnt popcorn smell" as she stretches gracefully, "Rupert says that the microwave is just not the way to pop popcorn and got the kind that you set on the stove. Of course then he gets way too involved in one of his demon books and doesn't even notice the kitchen is on fire." "Hrmphhh, it was a first edition" was Giles' only response. I'm doubled up laughing, but finally squeak out "but as long as you two are here to retell the story to me and my house is still standing I'm sure everything is all well on your end." They both smile and nod in agreement.
"Corrina spoke to Dorinda. She said that Texas was keeping quiet at the moment, and the others have nothing too worrisome. I advised Sheila that she was facing a Corkun demon and that they don't like water. She said that she would keep that in mind" this from Giles now that his face had stopped flaming from being embarrassed.
"Have you heard from Dawn today?" I ask.
"Yes, Xander and Dawn are doing well. Even in between all the reports and studying she is having thrust upon her." Giles smiles as he relays this.
"I'm so glad she was able to get away for college and that Xander is there to keep an eye on her." As I say this I still cringe slightly as I realize his only good eye is all he could keep an eye on her with. I still feel terribly responsible for that incident. Moving on I ask "is there anyone else that has called for me before I go to bed?"
Giles responds to my question in his stoic fashion of polishing his glasses and pausing briefly before speaking, "Angel gave us a call. Buffy you might want to sit down" I start to hesitate to protest sitting, but I see the look in his eyes and cave. As I sit he continues "Angel was finally notified that Cordelia
passed away recently. She never regained consciousness. He said that since she had given birth he didn't believe her to be in any pain, but it was still a shock to him. Also, he mentioned there was a big battle, but didn't go into too many details, but they lost Wesley and Spike. Gunn is holding on in ICU and appears to be pulling through. He apologized for not calling sooner, but with everything happening he didn't have much time and then even afterwards he needed some time to heal and watch over Gunn."
I can't even manage to form a thought let alone a response. I nod as a tear escapes down my cheek. Dorinda immediately comes to my side and gives me a hug. As I take comfort in her hug I find that I can't stop crying. Cordelia and I may never have been best friends, but as years had passed she had lost that bitchy, self centered, I am queen attitude; at least for the most part. Even helping with the fight on Angel's end. As much as I loved Angel I wasn't upset that he had tried to move on with Cordelia. We had so much shared history that couldn't be forgotten and I wasn't there. If he loved her I wanted him to be happy, at least as happy as he could be without becoming evil. One day Angel would become human. He would be able to love without worry of becoming evil. I always imagined I would be the one he came to when that happened, but if he moved on, I was happy for him. It had taken me a long time to get through our breakup, but I had moved past it. I moved on to Riley and others. I couldn't really hold it against him that Cordelia had become appealing. Now that she was gone I worried for Angel. Wesley was another I was not close with, but I know he had also become a very important ally to Angel as well. I never met Gunn, but was seriously thankful he would pull through for Angel's sake. Lastly, Spike, what could I think? This made me think of everything I was thinking earlier tonight. Maybe I had a reason for all my wallowing. Maybe I subconsciously knew Angel was hurting.
I stood and wiped my cheeks and tried to snuffle the sniffling that had overtaken the sobbing of moments before. I looked up and saw that they both were watching me intently. I began to realize I must have sat there for a very long while deep in thought with no response. I stand up and hug Dorinda and then Giles. "I'm going to go to bed. I appreciate you were here to tell me that in person Giles. I don't know how I would have handled hearing that news over the phone. Thankfully our town is quiet tonight…especially for a Hellmouth. You two go on home. I'll contact you in the morning once I have rested and had some time to think." I walk them to the door and as I watch them get in the car and drive away I close my door. I start thinking on everything again, but I can't ignore the fact that I'm exhausted. It may have been a slow night, but it didn't mean they did pop out of nowhere to attack me anyway. I walk upstairs and get changed for bed. Still feeling like someone is watching I keep turning around expecting to see someone at my window. Maybe this feeling of being watched over is just my paranoia of the town being quiet in the monster sense. I need rest. Hopefully I can calm my thoughts enough to get some sleep.