Someone, somewhere. -chapter I.

–Alexandra pov–

I was sitting by the bar, alone on that late April night. Adrian had brought me to this nightclub because a death metal band was going to play there. The show was already over, and Adrian was already flirting with some slutty chick. I was used to that, kind of. But it still did hurt. We were not dating, never did. He was just this boy who I liked so bad and who was interested on me only for sex. Like all the guys I've been with. Still I had a little hope that someday he would like me for real. I was just a sucker. Love always makes people go dumb, like we weren't stupid enough by ourselves. I took another hand of gin, and sighed. I used to self-harm to calm myself, but since a few months ago, I'd changed the razorblade for the booze. And I didn't know what's worse. What an addictive way to destroy myself only at the age of eighteen.

"Whoa, I thought girls didn't drink so much." Said a male voice behind me.
"So did I." I responded, without turning back to see whom I was talking to. "But it's ladies' night, all the girls drink for free."
"And does that mean you have to drink all the booze in here?" Then he came to my side and drank a sip of my glass. I rolled my eyes as soon as I found who he was, I didn't like popular boys at all.
"What the fuck do you want?" I looked straight into his green eyes, semi-covered by his long side bangs.
"To kill time, I guess." He shruggled and smiled. "Wanna go outside?"
"Kay." I gave up and turned, feeling a little dizzy, and then went to the outside of the nightclub with that boy whose name I was too drunk to remember.

We sat together on the floor, leaning against a wall. It was starting to get cold, but I was too numb to feel. I just wanted to forget, to get over that douchebag. But I was too weak, too vulnerable. I had no motivation to start anything... or to make it end.
"Adrian's a fucking asshole, you know." He broke our silence, like he knew what I was thinking.
"You're such a great friend, huh?" I smiled with sarcasm.
"He's epic playing guitar, that's all." He responded. "And playing with girls."
"Go fuck yourself." I've had enough. I quickly got up, but I had to lean against the wall because of the dizziness.
"You okay?" He asked, also getting up.

"I need another drink." I started heading back to the entrance of the nightclub, but his grip on my wrist made me stop. "I thought I've been rude enough to make you leave me alone." I rolled my eyes, looking back at him.
"Let's go for a walk." He proposed, fixing his eyes on mine.
"Are you kidding?" I got rid of his hand. "I wanna have fun."
"Oh, sure, I guess watching how Adrian leaves you alone to make out with some whore is really fucking funny, isn't it?" I sighed, annoyed because he was so right.
"Is there something I can say or do to make you stop with this?"
"I don't think so." He smiled, and I didn't feel like arguing anymore.
"Okay then." I gave up, starting to walk. "Let's see how this ends."

The both of us passed some minutes walking road to nowhere and when I noticed, we were leaning on the fence of London Bridge. I was aware that I could get into serious trouble, hanging out at night with someone who was kind of a stranger to me.
"Why are you doing this?" I dared to ask him, staring at the running water. He looked at me, confused. "Wasting your time and staining your untouched popularity hanging out with the infamous outcast."
"I don't know." He turned and started playing with somehing he'd just taken from his pocket.
"What's that?" I then turned too, and saw what he was doing. "Maria?"
"Yup." He finished making the joint and handed it to me. "Want some?"

I stood motionless staring at him, then at the joint, and then at him again. I had never taken any drug, besides alcohol. He then took a lighter from his pocket too, and lighted it. I had nothing left to lose so, with no more hesitating, I finally nodded:
"Why not." I placed myself in front of him, sightly touching his body with mine, and took the joint, which was already between his lips. I took some puffs, then handed it back to the boy. "Quite good."
"Yeah, you'll soon start feeling better."

We began to run across the bridge and the streets, his hand in mine, the night sky covering all the city of London, and all my thoughts floating on air, to the point that I didn't feel anything negative. I was aware of everything about the issues between Adrian and me, but it didn't matter. Not anymore. Not this night.
"Feeling better?" He asked after some minutes laughing and talking about nothing.
"A looooot better." Said I, feeling like I was on a cloud.
"I told you, with this you wouldn't feel anything, that it would take your pain away in the same sigh that time keeps passing us by."
"That's nice, it's strange to me feeling like this. Adrian means so much to me that it hurts, it's like I couldn't avoid it, and I'm aware that keeping myself behind him will only damage myself even more. I know I'm just a sucker"
"Well, it's better to feel pain that not feeling anything at all, right?" He said, and I nodded with a smile.
"You contradict yourself, little boy." He laughed.

We kept walking hand by hand until we reached a park, whose streetlights were most of them fused. The two of us stepped into one of the fields, and then I pushed him to make him fall on the grass. I joined him, lying on the cold lawn, and watching the dark sky, feeling like nothing else existed, but us, together under the stars.
"You know, being the popular kid is not as cool as it seems." He finally said, turning his head to look at me. "Everyone thinks I have no worries at all, that I can have whatever I want. Every girl I wanna have, I can have her. But that's not true... kinda. I can have every girl I want, but I always want what I can't have."
"Are you gay?" I looked at him, trying to understand what he was trying to tell me, which, in my current state of mind, wasn't really easy.
"What the fuck, girl?" He laughed at my question.
"Holy shit, I'm so wasted." I laughed too, returning to stare at the sky. "Dude, it looks like the sky is gonna fall any time now. Piece by piece."

He didn't say anything back, just got upon me, getting his face closer and closer to mine until our lips touched, making us lose ourselves in a long and slow kiss. I couldn't feel the cold, I couldn't feel the breeze, just his lips caressing mine, his hands running all over my whole body. After some time, he separated from me, with a smile drawed on his lips, and went back to lay next to me, taking my cold hands between his.
"Wanna go home?" He said, breaking the ice.
"Nooo, I wanna party...!" I complained, embracing him and closing my eyes.
"We can continue the party at my place, heh." He winked, convincing me.

My sister thought I was spending the night at Violet's, so I had an alibi. We arrived at his home after some minutes walking; he lived in an apartment not too broad located in Candem, with one of his friends. He carried me to his bedroom with a neverending kiss, which later unchained into a lot more of kisses and caresses, that made me know that night has just began.

"Take me home." Was the first thing I said as soon as I opened my eyes that morning, after getting on my clothes again, which were spread by the floor of the bedroom.
We went down to the street, walking to his car. I stared at my reflection in the windows as he opened the car; the black make-up of my eyes was running down my cheeks, like I'd been crying, and my hair was a mess. I tried to comb with my hands as I could, and then got into the car. I closed the door, annoyed because of the noise it made. I had a brutal headache, and I cursed the time I thought about going out last night. Nothing of what has happened was good at all, no, I wouldn't be able to describe all the occurred.

"It was a mistake." I said, when he had already passed about five minutes driving. "I don't know why it happened, I guess both of us needed something to fill our blackened hearts. You can take mine like it was yours, but the beating won't last long. Nothing of this was meant to be, and never will. I'm destined to fail." He didn't say anything else, and I couldn't decode what he felt by the expression on his face. He still was almost inexpressive, like he hadn't been listening to me. "You'll become a stranger again after this drive ends."
We soon came to my home, and he stopped the car, still looking ahead. I unfastened the seat belt, ready to leave and forget all of this, when I noticed a hand grabbing my wrist, once again.
"Stay." He whispered, looking down. I hesistated, not knowing what do say or do. I couldn't stay.

"Nothing of this did ever happen." I sealed my last words to him and got rid of his grip, to then leave the car.
I took from the pocket the keys of my home, opening the portal. I turned a moment to see if he was still there, only a blink and he was gone. I got into home in complete silence, it was nine in the morning and my sister would be still sleeping. After taking a shower and washing away all this feeling of dirt, I got into bed. I was exhausted, last night had left a trace, both physically and mentally. And, somehow, I had the feeling that our paths would meet again.

Emilie Scarlett & Juliet Rose.