A/N: Hello everyone! I'm back! It have been a while since I last posted (my last story was posted back in January, I believe). Gosh, it've been so long, haven't it? It had something to do with schoolwork and the writer's block that I've been struggling for some time (my inspiration and motivation were in short bursts, meaning I could compose parts of a story before I lost motivation for a while).

With that said, I decided I could give a go at a Rori story, albeit an indirect one. What this means is that while Rori would be the main romantic pairing for this story, Robbie himself will not show up much in the story. This could be considered a Tori/Sikowitz friendship and Robbie/Tori romantic pairing fanfic. This is my first Rori story, so be gentle - and do pardon me if the characters seem a bit...I don't know, OOC or something like that.

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious and never will. That honor goes to Dan Schneider. With that said, read, review, and enjoy!


Surreal Conversations

By GallaudetLurker


Erwin Sikowitz was walking through the hallways of Hollywood Arts, a coconut in hand. He was over ten minutes late for his class (or so as it seemed, given he never owned a watch), and he was subconsciously aware his students were probably bored out of their minds sitting in their seats, waiting for him to show up.

But his mind wasn't focused on that at the moment. It was not that he did not care about his students; no, really, he cared much for them, especially his group of favorite students: Tori Vega, Andre Harris, Jade West, Robbie Shapiro, and Cat Valentine.

It was just that he was a bit...preoccupied with what had recently transpired to him this morning. You see, his favorite coconut store, Coconuts R Us, had recently received, this very morning, a new shipment of fresh coconuts that had this exotic flavor. That was clear from the huge sign that was posted around the store, and driving past, he couldn't resist the allure of new coconuts that he swore were calling out for him.

What was supposed to be a "quick check" (after all, there was plenty of time left before school began, or so as he thought. He never owned a watch anyways) had instead dragged on and on, and the free samples given out didn't help matters. But they did anyways, and oh boy, they were totally worth it.

Sikowitz grinned to himself as he slurped on the coconut and delighted in the tantalizingly delicious fluid that flowed through the straw and through his mouth and throat, going into a downward spiral toward his stomach. Seeing his classroom door, a figurative light bulb went on in Sikowitz's mind and his grin widened. Perhaps he could surprise his students, you know, get their blood up and running? He hadn't done that for some time.

This was going to be fun.

"AHHH! FIRE! FIRE! THERE'S A LARGE FIRE-" Sikowitz screamed at the top of his lungs as he sprinted into the classroom with his right arm flailing wildly, his left arm being careful not to spill his coconut. He blinked and blinked, his voice trailing off as he noticed the classroom was empty.

Well, empty except for one.

Tori Vega sitting on her seat. Well, used to be sitting on her seat. It seems Sikowitz's...dramatic entrance caught her completely off-guard and caused her to fall out of her chair.

"Um...pardon my asking, but where's everyone?" Sikowitz raised his eyebrows as he looked at Tori, who was currently getting up from the floor.

"They left." Tori said as she gathered her PearPhone from the floor and got back on her seat. "They got bored after waiting too long because you were late."

Sikowitz raised his eyebrows and tilted his head slightly in wonder. "I was...late? Surely, it hasn't been five minutes?"

Tori raised her eyebrows incredulously. "Five minutes? It've been-" She checked her PearPhone. "-over thirty-five minutes!" Tori then sighed.

Sikowitz blinked, and blinked again. "Oh." He took a slurp from his coconut, relishing in the heavenly taste that passed through his lips.

"Well, now that I'm here and you are still here, let us begin class! Class is now...started!" Sikowitz grinned as he did a twirl with a flourish sweep with his arms.

When Tori didn't reply, Sikowitz frowned slightly as he took in the features on her face. Tori seemed...what, Sad? Distracted? Pre-occupied?

Sikowitz was never good with facial expressions.

And everything apart from acting methods, but that's another story.

Slurping his coconut, and noticing it beginning to run out, Sikowitz was struck by one of his random ideas. Leaping over to his desk, the bearded teacher reached behind it, getting out a new coconut. Sticking his straw into it, Sikowitz grabbed a nearby chair, twisted it around, walked over to Tori, sat onto it backwards in front of her, crossed his arms over the top (cresting rail) of the chair and placed his head on it, staring straight at Tori.

That was his "thinking stance", or so as he called it.

Tori blinked, looking a bit uncomfortable under Sikowitz's stare. "Uh...what?"

"What?" Sikowitz grinned for a moment before he seemed to realize something. "You look...how do I put it...sad? Distracted? Pre-occupied?" Yeah, it was exactly what he had thought in his mind. "Something's bothering you."

"N-no, not really..." Tori let out a sigh. "Well...sorta. I guess something's bothering me...I think."

"Do tell Sikowitz about it." The teacher inquired, slurping on his coconut.

Tori hesitated about it. "Um...I'm not sure if I should tell anything about it..." Sikowitz nodded slowly, keeping his eyebrows raised.

Tori let out a sigh again as her shoulders slumped a bit. "Well, I figure I might as well say something about it. You see, um, I...I...sorta like someone."

Sikowitz's eyebrows rose higher on his broad forehead. "Ohh, Tori Vega likes someone! Wait, is that like, as in liking a friend, or is it like-like, as in 'having butterflies in your stomach and heart fluttering' like?"

"The last one."

"Ah! So, Who is it? Is it that Andre Harris?" Sikowitz inquired a still-slightly-distracted Tori, his interest and curiosity piping up.

"Andre?"

Sikowitz stared Tori down. "Andre Harris. That guy with the...dreadlocks? Pretty good musician, gets all freaky-stuff about he gets low grades in Music class, though. That Andre Harris, you know?"

Tori rolled her eyes, letting out a soft chuckle. "I know who Andre is, and no it's not him."

"Ohh! Tori likes someone else. The mystery deepens as the tension thickens." Sikowitz grinned as he drew on his straw for a moment before his face contorted in confusion. "Not Andre? But I thought there was...something else between you two."

Tori chuckled at her teacher's absent-minded tendencies, her high-boned cheeks reddening a bit. "No, Andre's my best friend, nothing less or more. I mean, I do like him, but not like that."

Sikowitz nodded slowly, sucking on his straw thoughtfully.

"Um, I like someone else, someone who I should not be feeling anything for, but I just can't help it."

The wheels were whirring in Sikowitz as he tried to figure out the mystery person Tori liked. "Hmm..." He thought about it before a person popped up in his mind. "It is that Becky guy, right? If I remember correctly, and I'm not good with remembering, you planted a big one on him on that first day in class."

Tori's cheek now turned red as she blushed. Sikowitz grinned, thinking he had hit the jackpot.

"No, no." Tori shook her head, her wavy brown hair swaying a bit. "I mean, yeah he's cute...gorgeous actually, but he's taken, and it's not him."

Sikowitz raised his eyebrows again. This just got interesting...and complicated.

"So, it's not the musician, and it's not Mr. Unscareable either. Hmm..." The teacher put his usually-random mind into concentration, his neurons in his brain sending electrolytes in quick succession back and forth. For the first time in his life.

Perhaps it was the...puppet guy?

Nah, it couldn't be. Sikowitz mentally laughed to himself as he moved on to the next one. Looking over to Tori, he noticed she was looking slightly freaked-out as she looked at him.

Oops, seems he had done it again. He had this...tendency to laugh aloud like a maniac sometimes - or so as people have told him. But anyways, back to the mystery.

'So, it's not Andre, it's not Beck-y, it probably isn't Robbie. Rex is definitely out, and so is that guy who had the weird sister. Hmm...'

Sikowitz's eyes widened in realization as he nearly fell out of his chair. Tori looked at him with confused eyes.

"You...you..." Sikowitz stuttered a bit, still not believing what he had just figured out, apparently. So...this was the side of Tori Vega he hadn't seen before. He closed his mouth and looked around succulently before turning back to Tori and leaning in slightly.

"You...like girls, don't you?"

Tori blinked and blinked a couple more. "What?"

"You like girls," Sikowitz said slowly as if he was speaking to a child. "Boys don't...arouse you, so you're batting for the other team, so to put it."

"What?"

"So...am I right? It's the mean gank one, isn't it?"

"What?"

"I must admit it, you two have this...chemistry, despite your conflicting personalities. She scares me-" Sikowitz shuddered slightly, reeling from the various memories of a mad Jade. "-but I suppose she might be perfect for you, but you know she's taken-"

"WHAT?"

Sikowitz winced, nearly dropping his coconut in the process as Tori towered over him, looking disturbed and freaked-out.

Jade West was not the only one who scared him. Tori Vega was now added to his 'Mean Scary Girls' list.

"How could you think I like Jade like that?" Tori all but yelled in an incredulous way. "I don't like her like that, I don't swing that way!"

"Erm...I just thought..." Sikowitz mumbled as he brought his coconut to his lips. "So, you don't like Jade, then? You don't like girls like that?" A thought surfaced from deep inside the twisted innards of his mind, a hilarious one. It involved a fake date in a restaurant...hmm, perhaps he could make that a homework assignment-

"No." Tori's voice snapped Sikowitz out of his thoughts, having seemingly calmed down as she plopped back on her chair. "That's an...'interesting' thought, but no, it's a boy I like." Tori paused for a few seconds. "Though if we were in some TV show, I think some people might write about that, something like...like...a 'Jori' or something." She winced as she shuddered a bit.

Sikowitz was nodding, albeit in a cautious way. "So, we're back to boys once again. It's not that...Rider guy, isn't it?"

Tori shook her head emphatically. "After all what he had done to me, I'd think not." She scowled at the memory of finding out about Ryder and his...lying, womanizing ways. "I'm glad Robbie told me about that..." Tori trailed off, a smile on her face.

Sikowitz chewed the inside of his mouth as he surveyed Tori's face carefully.

'It's not Andre. It's not Becky. It's not Jade.' Sikowitz thought in rapid succession. 'Perhaps it's...no, Tori doesn't like Red-Head. She isn't into girls that way anyways.' The teacher could feel a headache coming in, and after some time, he let out a sigh and threw his hands up in the air.

"Ok, I give up. You've stumped me, Miss Vega." Sikowitz said as he slumped a bit in his chair, placing his elbow on top of the chair and his chin into his hand in turn. "Do tell who you like." He mumbled the last part as he slurped on his coconut.

Tori remained silent as she seemed to debate with herself. She then let out a sigh. "Might as well get this over with. I like Robbie."

At this moment, Sikowitz was so caught off-guard that his throat constricted abruptly, causing him to spit out his drink, sputtering wildly as he began coughing. Tori almost shrieked as she dodged the coconut juice that cascaded toward her.

"Robbie? You mean the Robbie the puppet guy? The one who carries a creepy puppet around? The person whose last name is Shapiro? Surely you aren't talking about Robbie Shapiro?" Sikowitz stuttered slightly in disbelief once he 'recovered', his mind trying to bend itself around this shocking revelation.

Tori raised an eyebrow as she looked at him strangely, almost looking like she regretted telling her teacher. "Uh, yeah, that Robbie Shapiro." The lips of her smile began to curl up at the mention of the puppeteer's name.

"Wow...just wow..." Sikowitz murmured.

The object of Tori's affections was Robbie Shapiro. Not Beck, not Andre, not Jade, not Cat, but Robbie. Out of all the guys in the world Tori would've fallen for, it had to be Robbie.

Do note, though, that Sikowitz had nothing against Robbie (well, except perhaps that creepy puppet of his...). It's just that from the first moment they met, Robbie had always struck him as an awkward person. But then, awkward was better than creepy.

Sikowitz grimaced as the faces of Sinjin and his weird-as-fuck sister Courtney appeared in his mind.

Tori seemed to misinterpret this, as she opened her mouth with a frown: "What's wrong with me liking Robbie?"

Sikowitz blinked out of his thoughts, his eyes honing on to Tori before his head shook.

"Oh...no, no, nothing's wrong with that. It's just that...that..." Sikowitz trailed off as he tried to formulate the next words. Tori sighed.

"Just that...what?" Tori inquired before she seemed to be struck with realization and let out a wistful sigh. "I know Robbie's not as...well-liked as much as he ought to be, but he's a really sweet and adorable person." She paused for a moment. "Although he should do without Rex."

Sikowitz shook his head. "That's not what I meant to-well, I sorta did." He admitted a bit sheepishly but he continued on with haste. "You do have a point there. Robbie's a...nice, if not an interesting person, and I must congratulate you for falling for a person like him...so...congrats." Sikowitz said the last part awkwardly.

Tori raised her eyebrows, a hint of an amused smile playing on her lips. "Um...thanks?"

"You're welcome!" Sikowitz grinned as he sucked the coconut milk juice through the straw once again. "So...tell me why you like-I mean, tell me about what made you fall for Robbie, so to put it."

"You want to listen to that?"

Sikowitz nodded his head, raising his left wrist to his face to check time on his wristwatch...except he did not have one. "There's about five minutes remaining, so why not let us use this time productively!"

There was so much things wrong with that sentence, Tori mused to herself, feeling a bit disturbed, but she proceeded to tell Sikowitz about her crush on Robbie. Sikowitz listened intently, draining the rest of his coconut juice.

What Tori and Sikowitz did not know was that a certain person was standing outside in the corridor, listening on to the conversation most of the time, a large smile on his lanky face.


A/N: Well, that's a Rori story, GallaudetLurker-style. The result of several months of wrestling with the writer's block beast, one that I managed to triumph against all odds, lol. Sorry if the ending sucks, but hope you liked. Constructive feedback are appreciated, while flames will be used to cook my hamburgers. And I like my hamburgers well-done.