Mind Over Matter: Joker- Party Crasher

This is my take on what was going through the Joker's head when he was crashing Bruce's party in The Dark Knight! Hehe! Enjoy! Oh yeah and there's quite a bit of Rachel bashing ahead so if you love Rachel; I suggest you don't read this! .

"We made it!" I don't think anybody heard that. Bloody hell, this Bruce Wayne guy has a pretty sweet pad. And damn there's a lot of people here. Hmm, I hope Brucey don't mind if I just sample a little of his food. Meh, it's not bad. Now what was I here for? Oh yeah…

"I only have one question; where. Is. Harvey. Dent?" I'm gonna give 'em a moment to reply… Mm, okay. So I guess no one knows where Gotham's White Knight is. Whoa this guy can pull better disappearing acts than the Batman is fabled to do.

Reply? Anybody? No?

…Ooh! Champagne, might as well wet my whistle while I'm still here. Let go of it bitch! Oh now look what you've done it's all over the floor! Now I'm pissed off!

"D'you know where Harvey is? D'you know who he is?" Pfft, probably not. Do any of these people know what a District Attorney is?

Oh, God! Is anyone gonna answer me? Ah this guy looks like he might know something. "D'you know where I can find Harvey? I need to talk to him about something… little." Obviously not. "No." Huh, I'm hungrier than I thought I was and that food was pretty good. I'll just have a little more.

"Y'know, I'll settle for his loved ones…" I threatened.

"We're not intimidated by thugs." Whoa! Did that guy just say what I thought he did? And… No! Dad? Haha! Just kidding, I don't have a fucking clue where my father is! But he doesn't know that…

"Y'know, you remind me of my father…" Let me just set my shotgun down here. Oh god he looks confused. Ha! Look at that switch-blade reflex. That's what I'm calling it from now on my switch-blade reflex as it's the reflex I have for getting my favourite knife out when I hacked off. "…I hated my father!" You like that invasion of personal space, bitch? Yeah, that's what I thought.

"Okay stop!" Hmm? A challenge…? I accept good s-miss? Wait, a chick is standing up to me? Ha! Wait, don't I recognise her from somewhere? An ex-girlfriend? A current girlfriend- do I even have one of those? Meh…

"Well, hello beautiful!" Fuck, why did I say that? She ain't that good looking! Oh now I know who she is! "You must be Harvey's squeeeeeeze. Hm? And you are beautiful." Oh why did I say it again? Wonder if she's got a good arse… nah, not really… she smells quite nice though. But wait, was that a flinch? Haha! She is scared- knew it! Let's take her over the edge!

"Ya look nervous, is it the scars? Wanna know how I got 'em? C'mere," Switchblade on her face, "hey look at me." Just follow the orders lady and no one gets hurt… yet! "So I had a wife, beautiful- like you…" I guess she couldn't've been that good looking then? Eh? "…Who tells me, I worry too much." Me worry? Pffthahaha! Oh I crack me up! "Who tells me I outta smile more…" If I smile anymore I probably won't have a face. "Who gambles and gets in deep with the sharks. Hey!" For god's sake woman, look at me or I'll cut your face right now! "One day they carve her face. And we have no money for surgery, she can't take it! I just wanna see her smile again. I just want her to know that I don't care about the scars!" Well, if my wife looked anything like the DA's squeeze in front of me, I'd imagine scars would make her look a little better! "So, I stick a razor in my mouth and do this…" I honestly have no idea how that would give me these beautiful scars but… "… to myself. And you know what? She can't stand the sight of me! She leaves!" What a bitch! "Now I see the funny side… Now I'm always smiling!" Ow, cow just kicked me! But I ain't gonna let it get to me! Just gonna laugh it off, but this bitch is gonna pay for what she did!

"You got a little fight in you! I like that…"

"Then you're gonna love me!" Whoa, who was tha- Oh my god! It's the Batman! Oof! What's this thing about people kicking me? I'll just let my um… goons handle him. He can't be that tough… can he? Ooh I wanna get in on that fight! Wow! That sounded really gay! But I love a fight! No, this guy's going in before me! Yeah, this way we can take him on together! Oh! Almost forgot about my shoe-blade.

There now he can bleed. Good! That's what I like to hear, your cries of pain! That sounded… even gayer than the last thing I said. Oh shit! He broke Charlie's arm! Auwh! Now I'm on the floor… again. Yes Harry! Now let me get this gun and this bitch and…

"Drop the gun!" Jesus, that must bloody hurt his throat.

"Oh, sure! You just take off your little mask and show us all who you really are." Ha! I'd like to bat-brains do that! I think I need some air! Bang-bang! Hehe! And let's just hand this bitch out here…

"Let her go!" Could you get any more thick to say that? Meh, probably.

"Very poor choice of words." Ahahaha! What a dick? Out the window you go… bitch! He'll go after her and I'll be free to go! Life goes on! Wonder what I'll do next…

Maybe go rob a hot-dog stand? I am fucking starving! Nah, maybe I'll call for pizza… or Chinese. I definitely need some beer though… and a fag.

I think he may have had the munchies as he seems pretty damn hungry! And if you couldn't tell, I really don't like Rachel.