By Your Side
Summary: One minute, she was there and the next she was gone. Dead. Never coming back. Character Death. Klaine. Slight one-sided Puckleberry.
A/N: A friend and classmate of mine died last Thursday from Bacterial Meningitis. I'm not going to lie, I'm not doing well. We weren't exceptionally close, but I thought highly of her, she was the first one who said hi to me when no one else would when I knew no one. So this is kind of written in tribute to her. I chose Rachel to portray her because I feel like Rachel is only abrasive because of all the bullying she's taken, when she was around Kurt in Special Education? When he was kind to her? She was a completely different person. Still quirky Rachel, but yet a kinder side shown. The song I chose (title of the fic) is something I sang for my contemporary service in memory of her. I sang it with my group and I barely got through the song. It is just so perfect. I write when I'm stressed, it's the best way I cope. It's my drug of choice. I'm replicating how she died and that's all.
Disclaimer: Nothing witty today. I'm not ready. So, I just don't own anything. The song is By Your Side by Tenth Avenue North
It was a cold she had brushed off for weeks. She should have realized it though, as she had very determinedly pointed out before that she never got sick.
"Diva, are you sure?" Kurt asked, furrowing his brow at her weekly visit to Dalton. Kurt becoming the closest friend she had since being dumped by Finn, and the entire club taking his side. Even Puck now distanced himself, now looking at her guiltily in the halls.
"Yeah Rachel, you should go to a doctor, you don't look well," added Blaine, his forehead creasing with worry as he walked over from his perch next to Kurt to lower himself to her level, where Rachel was leaning in Kurt's armchair, and put his hand against her forehead.
"Stop it," Rachel scolded, gently pushing Blaine away, "I'm fine. I'm drinking practically a gallon of orange juice and tea a day, and yeah, this thing has been coming and going for a couple weeks, but I think I'm over the hill with this, I feel so much better than last week!"
"If you're sure…" Kurt said, exchanging a worried glance with Blaine, who crossed back to where he and Kurt were cuddling on Kurt's bed.
"Of course I am," Rachel brushed off. She then beamed at the sight of Blaine's and Kurt's fingers being intertwined and proceeded to tell them how New Directions were faring (without telling them anything about actual singing or any of the songs they were preparing for Regionals) and begged them for details about their new relationship.
A week later, she was in the hospital for a bad case of viral meningitis.
"What is meningitis exactly?" asked Tina, who was sitting at the foot of Rachel's hospital bed, wearing a mask over her mouth. All of New Directions plus Blaine and Kurt, minus Lauren Zises were sitting in her room, keeping her company, with gloves on and masks over their faces to keep from infecting each other. Rachel had tried to be logical by offering to be the one to wear the mask, since she was the one who was sick, but had been shot down by Puck, who had been guarding her like he was her personal bodyguard. Though Kurt guessed from the looks he kept giving her, the softened eyes, the half smile at her Berry rants, and the protective demeanor, that he had developed feelings for her as of late.
"It's an infection, with swelling around the spine and in my brain," Rachel explained, squeezing Kurt's hand, who was sitting on her other side.
"What are they doing for it?" asked Quinn, who had walked over from Finn's side to sit down in another chair near to Rachel's bed.
"I have to take a bunch of antibiotics and submit myself to a ton of tests," Rachel made a face, "If I have another blood test, I'm going to belt the whole show of…"she stopped and began to think.
"…I can't think of a show right now." She said astonished. That's when everyone exchanged worried glances. Rachel couldn't think of a show to belt? This had to be very bad. Her eyelids started fluttering.
"Sorry, it's just stuff kicking in," she murmured, leaning back and shutting her eyes. That's when Kurt started to panic. She hadn't taken any antibiotics for a few hours. And when they had administered antibiotics, they had made her tired, but not delirious, and so suddenly. He sprang up and pushed the nurse call button.
Rachel was now on a ventilator. She had been for two days since the incident. The doctors had informed the family and the glee club that she had an allergic reaction to the penicillin, and that it had been added in as another measure to what had normally insured a road to recovery from viral meningitis from a strong, able-bodied teenager. But the allergic reaction caused the infection to become bacterial, which had quickly deteriorated her condition. Hence the ventilator.
No one besides her fathers were allowed to see her now. But the rest of the kids had taken a vigil in the waiting room. Shifts went home and took showers, went to get food, to give updates to Shelby, who, living in California now with Beth, was trying to catch a flight to Ohio, but being the middle of winter, and last minute notice, she was having trouble finding someone to take care of Beth.
The kids in the waiting room were a mess. Kurt clutched to Blaine and Mercedes, who squeezed right back. Finn was trying to calm down Puck, who looked like he was on the verge of punching someone. Quinn and Sam were praying. Brittany was crying with Santana and Artie speaking soothing words to her and trying to find a way to get her to stop her gut-wrenching sobs. Tina and Mike sat stoically, Tina's head on Mike's shoulder, her face displaying distress. Will Shuester had eventually joined them with Emma Pillsbury-Howell.
Two days later, her brain monitors showed no signs of life. Leroy Berry had come out, tears pouring down his cheeks as he announced the dreaded news. Hiram came out and they announced that Rachel had expressed to them that if she died, to take her off life-support.
Don't pay hundreds of thousands of dollars on a hope that I may wake up. It's not likely, and I'm in so much pain. I would rather be with God. – Rachel Berry* read her note.
Puck punched the wall, and had to go to emergency to treat a broken hand. All the girls began sobbing, even Santana, angry tears streaking down her cheeks. Kurt buried his head on Blaine's chest crying uncontrollably, while Blaine held him, but silent tears tracking down his own cheeks in grief for the girl he had barely gotten a chance to know. Finn held Santana and Mercedes as tears coursed down his face for his ex. Artie, Sam, and Mike were barely keeping it together as they held their respective girlfriends.
Her funeral was held four days later, postponed so that Shelby could attend. The service wasn't strictly adhering to tradition, given that the Berrys were Reformed Jews. Kurt was bitterly taken back to their conversation a few short weeks ago, when 'Don't Cry for Me Argentina' came over the loudspeaker before the service. When it was his turn to give the eulogy, he went forward, giving Blaine's hand a one last squeeze. He turned to face the crowd of thousands that came to her funeral.
"Honestly, I can only sing what I feel, it is what she would have wanted," he explained as he set up his iPod dock. People from glee and her parents nodded.
The soft guitar flowed through the speakers and Kurt closed his eyes and let his voice take over.
Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away
Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run
And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life
And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you (repeated)
Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go
And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you (repeated)
As Kurt belted it out, he felt his emotion take over and tears were spilling over as he held the last low note. He turned to the casket, and whispered to the still body, "Take them by storm up there Rach."