Leafpool padded through the thick forest that she called home. Thunderclan. Only days before had she received her full medicine cat's name, and only then had she realized the full extent of her feelings for Crowfeather. That night, when battle raged around them, when she was on the brink of death…she looked up from the edge of the cliff and found him. His blue eyes weighed down with regret…thinking about the past where he could not have done anything to save the one he loved…Leafpaw, as she had been known then, scrabbled her paws on the rock.
"Crowfeather…help me...it wasn't your fault that Feathertail died!" She had barely been able to gasp out the words as she slowly slid over the edge of the rock and dangled over the abyss below.
He blinked and then hesitantly grasped her scruff in his jaws. Leafpaw felt him pulling and then she was on solid ground again, tumbling head over heels. Crowfeather lay sprawled nearby, still looking dazed and eyes filled with an unfathomable emotion.
She risked a quick glance at him and chanced a remark. "I must be the last cat you'd want to save." Her light humor went unnoticed by Crowfeather. Instead, he looked up and met her gaze with burning blue eyes that rivaled the sky.
"How can you think that…" he'd whispered. "How can you think that when day and night all I've been able to focus on is you?"
"What?" She was stunned, unable to say anything.
"I keep thinking and I know that this isn't right! You're a medicine cat…nothing will change that. And Feathertail…am I betraying her memory by loving you as well?"
The last few words he had spoken echoed in her mind. By…loving me as well? Love?
Since then, every meeting with him had been secret, every shared moment of bliss a forbidden second of their lives. But she was happy when she saw him, happier then she had ever been. Her tail whisked and her tabby pelt shone in the dappled sun, as she roamed off to collect herbs…and meet Crowfeather. Cinderpelt, her mentor, did not know, and how could she ever know? It was so, so forbidden for a medicine cat to fall in love…but she had, and now there was no stopping it. It was getting deeper and deeper every day, the undercurrent of suppressed emotions threatening to flood her entire being. Even her sister, Squirrelflight, was oblivious to her emotions. Leafpool padded on, her mind buzzing with thoughts.
"Squirrelflight, let's leave for the patrol already. Or did you plan on sitting there until you're an elder?" Brambleclaw's cold, scathing voice floated over to her.
"I wanted to listen to Firestar!" she protested, her flame colored pelt burning in the sunshine.
He snorted and waved his tail for the rest of the patrol to gather. Ashfur brushed against her and murmured "It's fine, he's just trying to help the clan."
She nodded irritably and followed Brambleclaw, all the time wondering how things had gotten like this. A few moons before, they had been closer than close, closer even than the relationship she had with Leafpool, her littermate. Now though…she sighed. The ravine disappeared behind her, hidden by thick forest and thorns. Where was Leafpool these days? Cinderpelt's den was overflowing with herbs and seeds and yet Leafpool insisted on gathering more every day. Squirrelflight was sure that one day there'd be enough herbs and seeds for all of the four clans and maybe even Starclan. But the thought dissipated like fog in the afternoon, as fleeting as thoughts could be. She was certain that Ashfur was a good friend, but maybe he wanted to be more than friends. His dark blue eyes were often clouded with concern, and his gray pelt was always next to her, comforting her in times of trouble.
Ashfur's much nicer than Brambleclaw…she thought as she sidestepped a clump of bracken. She thought of her father, Firestar, and her mother, Sandstorm. The way he was so loving, the way she trusted him with her life…
Squirrelflight stopped. Would I trust Ashfur with my life? The answer was no. Then: Would I trust Brambleclaw with my life? And she found that no matter what, she could not answer that question.