Another reason why Matt and Mello are my otp. Big time. XD
Just a oneshot of Matt/Mello, probably a couple of weeks before they show up in the original storyline. Either way, hope you enjoy! ;w;
NOTE: I don't own Death Note, and remember to think before you smoke or do any sort of drug!
"I...love you, Mello."
There was a silence in the air, the ambient noise of a grungy fan and classic rock on the radio turned down low. The blinds in the room were half open, leaving some sunlight peering into the junky and dark apartment. Two couch's were placed across from each other, and a small table sat in between the old recliners. A redhead was sitting on the couch across from a slightly older boy with medium length blonde jagged hair. They had been friends for years, maybe even best friends. Though they both allowed each other in their world more than the average stranger, there wasn't much unusually special about their relationship. They were just friends from childhood, and the only friends they've ever known. Strange as it all was, under some predicament they had found themselves renting an apartment together. It was for "work" purposes, or so as Mello, the blonde haired boy thought.
Mello batted an eye at Matt's words. He had said there was something important he wanted to tell him after he got back from the nearby convenient store...but could this have been what he meant by "important"? He had to put down some files for the Kira case on the wobbly table and furrowed a brow at his friend. The first thing that came to mind to Mello was that maybe it was a code for something...were they being bugged? Pursued? Matt was usually a very quiet person, occasionally playing games and entertaining himself alone. This kind of talk was open for him. Mello glanced to the side and at the door, but nothing seemed unusual. He looked back at Matt who was adverting his gaze to the window.
Taking out a cigarette from his pocket, he lit the cigarette dimly between his hands and let out a puff to the window. The smoke made lovely designs under the lights shine, like dancers preforming a ballet to the minds eye. Normally Mello really didn't like the smell of smoke, but he had been around Matt smoking for years, so he eventually just got used to the smell. Though, something about the smoke smelled almost different. He would have liked to think more about it, but there was something occupying his brain more. Mello gulped and shifted his position on the uncomfortable couch.
"...Are you alright, Matt? Did something happen at the store?"
Mello sounded cautious and whispered in a hushed tone, but Matt didn't really seem worried at all. He stuck the cigarette between his two fingers and stared at Mello. "Did something really happen with the case while he went out?" He thought and awaited an answer from the redhead.
"I don't really like working on the case. It's boring. Life is boring." He murmured and looked to the floor, inhaling another puff of smoke. There was a casual silence, Mello found it strangely aggravating. It was odd for Matt to be talking about himself like this, some part of him was curious. Matt exhaled the smoke before speaking again. "...But when you asked me to accompany you, I couldn't refuse. Which is why I'm here."
Mello didn't really know where Matt was getting at – nevertheless, what did he mean by, "I love you"? The more he thought about it, though, the more parts were coming together. Matt was right, he never really seemed to like working on the case. He avoided talking about it as much as possible, but he would loyally do whatever Mello asked of him when it was needed. For the most part, Matt was happy doing errands for Mello while Mello worked more with the case itself. Mello understood that. However, if he didn't want to work on it in the first place...why did he agree? Why couldn't Matt refuse? Did he want to get out of the Whammy House so badly? Was he bored? Even though Mello was second ranked most intelligent at that orphanage, why was this confusing him so much?
"Why couldn't you refuse?" Mello blurted out bluntly, and Matt stared at him for a moment. He then bent his back forward to crush the cigarette on a tray near the edge of the table, focusing on the ash tray as he spoke.
"Think about it." He raised an eyebrow. Mello still didn't respond. He didn't want to give up, the answer was there somewhere between their fine lines of conversation. Then something echoed in his mind.
"I love you, Mello."
His eyes flashed open and some smoke had entered his nostrils, forcing him to to cough. For that to be an actual reason...Mello just couldn't imagine it. Matt didn't seem like that kind of guy. But then again, how well did he know Matt anyway? They had been separated for more than 4 years. Mello adverted his gaze as Matt's voice kept replaying his mind. The smoke was coming over to Mello's side of the room and it was getting bothersome.
"What the hell Matt, are you high or something!" Mello bit his lip as he yelled to Matt, softly chuckling to himself, but didn't reply with anything. "You're being all weird..." Mello added in wincing, and Matt glanced up at him with a grin.
"Not as high as I wanted to be." He kicked a leg of the table, the cigarette on the ash tray flipping to another side. The more Mello looked at it, it wasn't a normal cigarette. Matt must have bought some joints when he went out. "Pot is so fucking shitty here. Jesus Christ." He sighed and leaned back on the recliner, disappointed by the quality of the drug. "Did you figure it out yet?" Matt asked while rubbing a hand behind his own neck. Mello growled and shifted more, then avoided his stare. He had the answer but he clearly did not want to resort to that. At this answer from Mello, Matt smirked casually and stared and Mello intensely.
"Man, I knew you were pretty apathetic when it comes to love and shit, but damn are you clueless." Matt chuckled and lay back on the recliner, adjusting it back slightly. Mello looked up in rage and scowled. "Excuse me?" He immediately stood up from the couch out of his anger, and Matt just sat there nonchalantly. Mello was angry, but Matt knew his place...so he tried to calm himself down.
"...Alright. Okay. Because you love me, right? Out of all the people in this fucking world, or at least the people you ever really got close with – I'm the one you love, right? Is it me or is there something beyond weed screwing your brain right now?" Mello frustratedly exhaled and sat back down on the couch shaking his head multiple times. Matt whistled some strange tune and let out one laugh.
"No need to be so humble, Mel." He lifted himself off the couch and and grabbed the ash tray. Mello glared, but tried to ignore the fact he called him Mel. Emptying the joint and dust from previous smoking sessions, he walked to the couch Mello was sitting on and rested his back on the wall. "But why...me?" Mello furred a brow as his puzzled thought slipped out as a whisper, and Matt overheard it. "Dunno really, since I never liked guys. But there's little things I like." He found himself biting his lip in shock as Matt's hand had gently held his. "Like you're hands. Their distinct. Their like the hands of a hard worker...god, I sound so fucking stupid don't I?" Slightly irritated by Matt's openness, he pulled his hand away and clenched his teeth. "Jesus, really, my hands? Are you sure that joint hasn't kicked in yet?" Some part of Mello wanted to smile, Matt was really acting pathetic. What he was doing wasn't even flattery, it was an insult to confessions itself. Even Shakespeares' Romeo made better romantic confessions.
"Or like that – when you're all angry at me. Or insulting me. I kind of like the attention, you know? We hardly ever talk like how we used to when we were kids. Before you left the Whammy House. Hmm, isn't that kind of masochistic?" Matt murmured softly then sat down next to Mello, kicking a leg up on the table. Mello scoffed lightly at his suggestion. "You're like a dog...following me around and shit. Obeying commands..." He averted his gaze and looked at the window. The shade was turning orange, the sun about to set. "This is all so weird." Mello thought. "I never even knew Matt had even felt this way..." Sighing, he then realized something else. "Well, I guess he feels that way...but what about me? Do I feel anything?" In the midst of though, Matt shifted on the couch and frowned.
"I know you probably think this I'm disgusting. That's cool. Y'know, since you hate me anyway..." Matt looked down at his pocket and fumbled with another rolled joint he couldn't manage to throw away. He put it up to the level of his eye and observed it. Mello turned to the redhead and clicked his tongue with sheer vexation. "Dumbass. There's only one person I hate, and you know it well." Matt rolled his eyes and smirked at Mello's response, but didn't dare to say a name. He didn't want to ruin the moment with a "subject" insinuating more anger from Mello. Instead he smiled at him and changed the subject, holding the joint.
"You've never smoked weed before, have you Mello?" He tilted his head to the side and raised up the blunt object in his hand. Mello shook his head with a monotone stare. "I don't smoke." Mello refused and pushed Matt's arm away. He lit the tightly wrapped paper regardless, humming something softly. "I want to see you get high. Come on, one puff." Mello clicked his tongue again and Matt's continuous persistence. "I already said I didn't want to smoke anything. I said it fucking once, I don't need to say it again." Mello closed his eyes and wanted to get up and eat some chocolate, but he was too tired to even lift himself from the couch. He spent about 8 hours of the day looking through the files and gathering information, so far nothing much. He would have gotten more if Matt were to willingly help him. Mello heaved a sigh, and heard Matt speak up.
"Your hands are all tense. You've been seeming really stressed lately." Matt glanced at him with a concerned look, waving the lit joint around slightly. Mello noticed his hands and tried to hide the clenching of them, but there was nowhere he could hide his hands. He couldn't hide the stress. Not to Matt. A defeated sigh escaped Mello's mouth, and he bit his lip. "Just one time, ok. I'll do it once for you."
Shocked by this, Matt froze up. He had only really been teasing Mello, but didn't know he would really give in. Frowning, he realized how tired Mello really was. He hoped the drug would help him feel better for once, just a little. Matt smiled sympathetically and leaned over closer towards Mello. He placed the joint in between Mello's lips and lit it for him. "Make sure you really inhale it, or it wont work." Matt softly spoke as he waited. Mello inhaled slowly, then upon exhaling...began a coughing fit. He coughed for a whole minute, uttering "god dammit" a couple times. Matt laughed as he patted his back down, and when Mello had finished his fit he glared back at Matt. "How the fuck do you smoke this shit?" Mello face contoured to disgust as Matt just shrugged. "Your first time's always like this. At least for everyone I know. You have to do it a couple times to work." He took the roll back and fumbled with it some more.
"Wait, so you tell me you want me to take one puff of it, then you tell me it takes a couple times for it to actually work? Wow, we have a con artist in this room now, don't we." Mello scowled sarcastically at his own misfortune. If only the things in life didn't come with a catch. All he simply wanted...was to be happy. He had seen Matt and some of his stoner buddies once smoke weed in their room, and Matt seemed undeniably happy. He laughed at everything, even slight noises in the room. And because Matt was so high, somehow he couldn't help but laugh with him. Mello didn't particularly care for drugs right now, but he couldn't recall the last time he had smiled since L died. Things just fell apart after that.
Could this drug...patch things together, open a loophole for him, just once? Could he be happy for once in so many years?
"If I smoke this after you...would that be an indirect kiss?" Matt pondered while looking at the drug with hopeful looking eyes. Mello stared for awhile at him, then let out a laugh. Matt just blinked. "Pft, give me that." He snatched the joint from Matt and began smoking more naturally until it needed to be lit again. "Light it back up for me." Matt shrugged and flicked the lighter on, giving into Mello's commands, and Mello inhaled more smoke from the drug. Exhaling, he sat still and smiled.
"You really piss me off you know." Mello relaxed back on the couch, handing Matt the roll. Matt took it with a puzzled expression. "What did I do now?" He responded. "Now? Like, before. You said I was your best friend yet you were always hanging around with those little shits. Forget their names, but they were idiots. That's when you started smoking all this shit..." Mello explained, then went on, giving Matt eye contact.
"You hurt me bad that one day. When you promised you'd come to my piano thing. I hated piano, and I know Near would probably win this round, but some part of me knew that even if I lost, even if I got so angry that I wanted to kill Near, you'd make me feel better by telling me that I sounded really good." Mello gulped, slowly loosing the smile that he had gotten with the effect on some of the drug. Instead he got more serious. He began to feel melancholic.
"...but you didn't come. Roger dragged you into the room late in the night after he scolded you for smoking on the roof. You stoned yourself to sleep." Mello exhaled and bit his lip while rubbing his eye slightly with his jacket. "...I still haven't forgiven you for that. I said I'd never admit it, but here I am, admitting it." Looking Matt in the eye, Mello gave him the most sincere gaze he could ever give anybody else in his whole entire life.
"I...don't know how I feel about you. I don't know if what I feel for you is 'love', Matt. But I do know one thing. I don't care what ever happens between us anymore, but I want you to be my friend. My only friend. Alright?"
Mello wasn't all that sure why he threw in the 'Alright' because he was so used to just bossing around Matt anyway. It was somewhat rhetorical, but he knew that Matt would comprehend and comply. Matt stared at the blonde haired boy in front of him. He grinned. "Is that an order?" Mello nodded. Matt was glad that Mello finally admitted their friendship and companionship together...but Matt however wasn't all that satisfied with that answer. If Mello wasn't sure, he'd of course have to have him try something else.
Matt leaned over to the table to set out the joint, and the smoke lightly lifted making wispy layers of smoke in the air. He sat back on the couch and thought for a moment. Matt exhaled and smirked mischievously. "So, you don't know if it's 'love', huh?" He chuckled, and Mello rubbed a hand through his blonde locks and glanced at the clock on the wall. "It's getting late, huh." He spoke, not really hearing what Matt had said before, figuring it wasn't anything important. The room had gotten darker in such a quick time, and he glanced back at Matt who seemed to be closer to him.
Matt leaned into Mello and brushed his hand through Mello's hair. Mello blinked a couple times, not exactly sure what to interpret of what he felt against his face. "W-wha...Matt?" Stuttering in surprise, he accidentally lost balance with himself and his back fell against the couch, Matt then fluidly gaining position on top of him "Fuck, I can't see anything—Matt, get off-" Mello mumbled after realizing that Matt was on top of him, but Matt lowered himself downward and whispered something into his ear.
"Be a good boy, and after this you may be able to realize you're feelings~" He teased, and Mello was far from being amused. "What the hell are you talking abou-" Mello was cut off suddenly as Matt gently kissed him once on the lips. Mello was silent. Then he kissed him again. Mello's body was growing more warm, more flustered. The next one was longer, Mello dug his nails onto the couch. Matt's mouth tasted faintly like the peculiar smelling drug he so frequently smoked. But somehow, he liked this. This distraction...he kind of liked this. When Matt pulled away to catch his breath, Mello let out a laugh.
Then a couple more laughs.
And then he began laughing uncontrollably for absolutely no reason in particular. Matt grinned, and gradually began to chuckle with him. "What the shit—you're laughing? Holy crap you actually can laugh! What the hell are you laughing for, I'm trying to kiss you and oh my god, you sound so retarded it's kinda cute!" Mello couldn't really say sort of snarky reply to him, every time he tried he'd end up just laughing again. He was laughing so much that he was crying. He felt as if everything was taken away from him, all the stress, all the worry, all the past. He felt young again. Mello felt the same as he did many years ago when him and Matt were still only boys in a naïve world of the Whammy Home. No more burdens, no more nostalgia. He no longer desired anything. He had it right here with Matt.
"I love you Matt, I love you. I don't care how dumb it sounds, I love you."
Crying foolishly into Matt's body, Matt smiled and twitched tearing as well.
"I love you too."
There was a silence between them in the dark room, the low murmur of the radio still on and the circulation of the air blown by the fan. Mello looked up at Matt who seemed more serious than he had before, and Mello then realized he was looking pretty sullen as well.
"Sorry about that...piano thing. I didn't know...you know..."
"It's okay. It's in the past." Mello sat himself back up on the couch, and the both of them were back where they started not so long ago. Mello ran his hand through his long hair, and looked at Matt who's gaze was on the floor.
"Yeah..." Matt replied, then smiled a little as he realized there was something in his vest pocket. "I forgot, I bought this for you." Mello tilted his head to the side, but then snatched the object Matt had in his hands. Just what he needed. Chocolate. The king sized bars too. Mello quickly unwrapped the foil bar and bit into the delectable treat, which almost always seemed like a meal to him. Immediately he wasn't feeling as tired as before. He relaxed in the couch and glanced at Matt who took out a normal nicotine cigarette from a Marlboro box. He must have bought that too. They both smiled and clunked their prized items together in a cheerful fashion.
"Cheers to the Kira Investigation."
They both exclaimed in unison, grinning like the mischievous teenage boys they once were.
Matt lit his cigarette and Mello continued eating his chocolate.