Wish I May...
by Susan Zahn
The stars...
I know that sounds odd coming from a princess. My mind should be filled with more courtly thoughts, right? Not daydreaming of the vast beauty of the stars. But I can't deny it. I've found those courtly thoughts too restrictive. Fancy social affairs and the other rich trappings of royalty never sparked my imagination or made my heart race like staring up into the clear Alderaani sky at night. In those precious moments I could forget the restraints of heritage and duty and allow my heart to soar with dreams of a time when I could be what my soul called out to be--who I wished to be but could not because of a name.
It's been a long time since I last looked at that Alderaani sky. A lifetime, it feels. Billions of lifetimes. But Gods! I think I miss that sky more than anything.
For a long time I searched for a replacement, something new to focus my faith on, a new release from the pressures of my life. I never doubted that I would find it eventually, whatever it was. After all, it was my due for never having given up on those dreams.
Well, that sounds good, doesn't it? I could rationalize all day in an attempt to explain how or why the unexpected, uninvited introduction of one single man into my life has managed to so thoroughly influence me. It still wouldn't hide the fact that I've finally found that something I'd been searching for, and lost my heart in the process.
In many ways this man not only exercises a freedom I've only hoped for, but he is a living manifestation of those very stars for which I've always yearned. A star that from a distance can seem cold and uncaring--unaffected--until one grows closer and feels the warmth emanating from the core, offering sustenance and life. A beacon that--no matter how long or far I may stray--leads me back home to welcoming arms and security. Most importantly, I find he reminds me of that little girl that dared the galaxy to deny her the stars...