The Doctor is perplexed because he can already hear Clara's voice, coming towards the Tardis, even before he's finished landing and the string of one repeated syllable stuttering out of her mouth have him concerned; concerned enough to rush towards the door to yank them open as she reaches him with a pained, "No, no, no, no, no!"

"No, no, no what, Clara? What's wrong?" He stops, just at the door and his eyes go wide, thick brow dropping seeing the second set of dark eyes staring back at him in a sort of sleepy shock and he points, "Where did that come from?"

Clara shifts the baby girl back away from him and turns, glancing around before asking, "Where did what come from? Doctor?"

"The tiny human; the one you're holding," he eyes the dark complexion on the child of around ten months that's settled at Clara's waist; the pout of her full lips and the way her eyebrows shift sadly as she lifts a chubby finger to shove into her mouth. "Clara, were they giving them away at the market, because frankly it's not a very good idea to be picking up strange children – you never know what sorts of diseases they come with, never mind the…"

"Doctor," Clara states firmly, hand rising to stop his wandering arm. "This is Nina's daughter – you remember my friend Nina?" He nods slowly, giving the child another once over with a disgusted look, "She needed a sitter for the night, some alone time with her husband."

He gestures back at the Tardis with both hands, a smile growing as he bends to tell her, "But I've got mermaids."

Clara's face shifts from surprise to concern as she bellows, "You didn't bring mermaids in the Tardis – you do know the chlorine in the pool would probably damage their scales…"

His arms are a wave of movements as his eyes pinch shut and he stutters, "No, no, Clara, why would I put a mermaid in the pool? That would be ridiculous." He looks to the unconvinced stare she's giving him before he groans and shrugs, "Yes, if I'd had time to convert it into a salt water pool then, yes, maybe – why wouldn't I offer them a ride around space?" Then he toggles a finger at the child, "So pop this one off with her parents and come on, let's go. Mermaid planet!"

Head cocking to her right, Clara curls her arms around the baby and the step he'd taken towards his time machine shifts back to watch the determination in her eyes and he knows: she's not going anywhere. The Doctor groans and he rolls his neck to crack it before storming past her and falling onto her couch. "What are you doing?" Clara asks, voice shuddering with panic.

His hands come up and then drop onto his knees, giving them a nervous rub as he glances sideways before explaining, "If I have to wait until you're rid of her, then I'll wait."

Clara's mouth falls open, and then she groans, "Doctor, you can't just sit on my couch and wait for me to be rid of her, I'm not being rid of her, I'm caring for her."

Lifting a hand to gesture, "Right now it would seem you're just carrying her, so, off by two letters, but otherwise on point – how long would you say you have to carry her?" Then he added with a widening of his eyes on a whisper, "Mermaids, Clara."

Staring fiercely at him, she takes a short breath and then walks towards him and he can see what's coming, just before it happens, lifting his arms in protest as the baby drops into his lap and glances up at him curiously. His hands wrap instinctively around the baby's midsection, holding her safely in place as he looks back up at Clara, who plants her own hands at her waist.

"Thank you for that enticing offer, Doctor, but right now I've got to watch Alice – Alice is the mermaid in my evening, and you can either help or you can go off and swim with your mermaids without me." She waits only a second, watching the way he simply looks back at her with his mouth hanging open, before she takes his silence as acceptance and turns with a quick, "I'm going to change and then get her dinner ready and I'll expect that your dad skills will get you through the next five minutes," as she begins a swift walk towards her hallway.

For a moment he looks to the empty space she'd been standing in, and then the girl on his lap starts to whimper lightly, a noise he recognizes instantly and he shifts his gaze towards the way her already pouty lip juts forward even further as her eyes wince almost shut. The girl shakes her head and she reaches for the woman who's no longer in the room

"No," he tells her with a point of his finger, before replacing his hand at her stomach, and she looks back at him. "No, Alice, crying is not what you're going to do right now; what you're going to do right now is look at these eyebrows – Oh, I know, they're quite alarming," he offers as the girl watches him sadly, her hands now settled atop his, attempting to pry them off. "But look at them, Alice! I think you'll find that as frightening as they seem, they're also quite amusing. I amuse myself often with them, look," he raises them and then drops them several times before giving her a wide smile.

The girl's sadness fades, replaced with a small dose of curiosity he nods for. "Ba," she calls.

"Clara's in the other room," he informs her, "She's just gone to get out of those work clothes and into something even worse." The girl offers a light giggle. "I know," he answers, "Not sure where she gets them from, must be a special shop – you must take note never to allow her to choose your fashion."

Alice nods and repeats, "Ba."

"Oh yes, your food – that's on its way, if her clothes don't scare it off."

Squealing, she gives a bounce on his lap and her hands come together before she reaches for his face and mumbles incoherently. Clara looks to the girl on the Doctor's lap as she holds the plastic tub of food in her hand and she listens to him as he mutters something else to the girl, some sort of secret, and Alice laughs excitedly. She moves around the corner fully and clears her throat, smiling when Alice turns to grin up at her.

"You actually do have dad skills, don't you," she teases.

"Would I lie about dad skills?" He answers gruffly, "Why would I lie about that?"

Poking him lightly on the forehead, Clara reminds, "Not sure I'd call it a proper skill to put someone into a trance by scrambling their brains, especially not a child."

Shrugging, the Doctor told her calmly as she sat next to him, "In all fairness, that particular boy's brain was a bit scrambled already with the rush of adrenaline he'd experienced." He watches as Clara pops the top off the tub and sets it on her coffee table, dabbing a bit of what looks like mud onto a spoon before she offers it to Alice. "Are you not going to take her back?"

Smirking, Clara shakes her head and tells him proudly, "Don't see a reason to."

Alice looks to him as she mulls over the contents in her mouth and then she smiles at him, slapping at his hands happily before opening her mouth a second time for Clara. "Could think of at least a dozen reasons, off the top of my head – if you give me something to write with, I'd be more than willing to jot them down."

"Oh, hush," Clara reprimands, "She likes you."

With a frown to the girl, the Doctor tells her grimly, "You're not going to get a reciprocal nod of appreciation, if that's what you're looking for."

Alice shakes her head and laughs lightly before taking another bite, and she sighs, "Ba da ba, bee?"

Clara knows the Doctor can speak baby, and she can see in his eyes that the child has said something profoundly effecting, but she simply smirks and continues to feed her, choosing not to press him for the answer. His fingers shifting lightly against the little girl, the Doctor looks from the child up to the woman feeding her and he feels an odd tickle in his stomach, thinking about what Alice had just told him.

It isn't until Clara stands, picking Alice up into her arms to take her for a bath, that he slumps back into the couch and sighs, "She'd make an excellent mummy, indeed."