Take It Out On Me.
(Juice's POV)
I never knew when to expect her. I was her "safe haven" as she liked to say. It started out as a platonic friendship. She helped the club out a couple times move some drugs when Tara ran out of connections. She went to school with Jax and Opie, was as close to the guys in the club as a girl could be without being an old lady. Crow eater or sweetbutt. Holli was a Charming girl born and bred.
We hit it off right away and if Tara hadn't warned me that she was "off-limits" I would've tried to push up on her sooner. She had a live in boyfriend, I learned they had been on and off since high school and, according to Jax, the guy is a real douchebag.
"Shit" I cussed at the screen. I just got shot at.
The loud pounding on the door startled me from my round of Call of Duty. I pressed paused and looked at the clock, 11:47. I knew immediately who it was by the urgency of the knock, I didn't even have to check the peep hole. When she showed up this late I knew he must have really pissed her off.
I opened the door to see her mascara smudged, her nose and eyes red and her lips a little swollen and dry. Her long, dark auburn hair was in a messy bunch on top of her head. She looked at me with her tear filled eyes and all I could do was hold my arms out for her.
She stepped inside and wrapped her arms around my waist. I hated seeing her like this, but I couldn't help but relish the feeling of her wrapped around me. It was something that I wished didn't have to happen only in secret.
(Holli's POV)
"Matt, just stop! I didn't do anything wrong! I don't know why you have to start shit with me over this." I couldn't stand arguing with him, but it was all we ever did anymore. Our relationship was toxic but it was something that I just couldn't seem to get away from permanently, no matter how hard I tried.
Matt hated that I was still friends with Jax and Opie. He hated even more that I helped out SAMCRO when they needed something. He never got along with them in school, they were definitely from two different crowds. Jax and Opie have always been SAMCRO. It was in their blood. Matt was part of the "in" crowd. He was the jock, he excelled at sports, school and almost everything he did.
I was sort of in the middle. I was a cheerleader and a pretty decent student. Jax, Opie and I had a few classes together and somehow just hit it off. I was friendly with Tara before her and Jax hooked up and we all just became friends.
I started dating Matt in 11th grade. He showed some interest after a football game one Friday night and the rest is history. We had been on and off since then and last year decided to move in together in hopes it would help our relationship. But all it has been doing is killing it and my soul a little more each day.
"I've told you before, I don't want you hanging around those scumbags. It's not a good image for you, Holli and frankly it's not giving you the best reputation around town. I don't like that people talk about you being a sweet ass or whatever those losers call it."
"I don't give a shit what people think. And I'm sick of having this same fight with you every day. If you don't like it you can just get the fuck out." I screamed at him. I was so sick of this shit day in and day out. He tried to be my keeper, telling me who I could be friends with and not.
He pounced on me, faster then I was able to get away from him. He grabbed my wrists and pinned me against the wall. "I don't know who the fuck you think you are, but you should know better not to talk to me like that." The look in his eye scared me. He had never hit me, not yet anyways. But after each argument he came closer and closer to it.
He let me go and went back to his place on the couch with his beer. I knew if I left now he would just keep calling my phone looking for me. So I waited until he went to bed to make my escape.
(Juice's POV)
I led her over the couch and sat next to her. I felt like I was starring in "Groundhog Day". The déjà vu was almost sickening. Almost every night for the past month she had shown up at my door.
It started a little less then a year ago. She showed up one night and told me she wasn't sure where else to go. If she went to Jax or Opie she knew they would just make the situation worse. And she knew coming to my house no one would know where she was.
I didn't mind, in fact I wanted to help her out. But once we started to take our friendship to the next level I wasn't sure what to make of it. I cared about Holli and I hated seeing her be treated like trash by that piece of shit.
"What'd he do this time?" I looked her up and down checking for any marks. I spotted the bruises on her wrists before she had a chance to answer me.
"Is he starting to hit you, Hol? I swear to God.." she cut me off
"He just grabbed my wrists. It was the same old shit, Juice. He doesn't want me hanging out with the club, says it's ruining his reputation."
"Why do you do this to yourself? This isn't normal, Holli."
I wanted her. I wanted to be more then just her late night visit, but I couldn't spring that on her.
"You know the deal, Juice. It's just something that's hard to just walk away from."
I shook my head and before I could answer her I felt her lips on mine. Her hands ran up my arms and I could already feel the goose bumps forming on my skin. The effect her fingertips had on my skin was incredible.
As badly as I wanted to stop her, to tell her we couldn't do this anymore because it was getting too hard to detach it from the reality of the situation, I couldn't find it in me to push her away. The fact that she came to me for comfort mixed with the feeling of her soft skin pushed against mind made it too difficult.
I felt her tongue run along my bottom lip, silently begging for entrance and I granted it. Her hands were working fast to unbuckle my belt but not before tugging at the hem of my shirt.
Our lips separate long enough for her to pull my shirt over my head and repeat the motion on her. Just before she crashed down on me my eyes caught sight of her purple wrists. I had to find a way to convince her to get out of that relationship, not just for my sake, but before she got hurt.
(Holli's POV)
I knew it was wrong. I knew every single time it happened that it was wrong. I couldn't help myself. I was not only attracted to Juice but he made me feel safe, something Matt did not.
I also knew I was no better than Matt by running away every time and cheating on him. The first time it happened it wasn't planned. I showed up at his house because I wasn't sure where else I could go. I knew Jax and Opie would only make the situation worse by going after Matt. Juice and I had become friendly and I just showed up there one night.
It started out by me just telling him what happened. He would sling one arm around me and just listen, something I really needed. I've never stayed more then a few hours, I didn't want Matt to come looking for me even though I knew he would never think to look at Juice's house. He didn't even know Juice, only recognized him as a member of the club, and he automatically hated him.
The next few times became a bit more physical. I kissed him first. I just couldn't help myself. The way he made me feel when I was with him was a feeling that was totally gone from my relationship with Matt.
I don't know why I stay with Matt. I could never answer that question when asked by Juice, or anyone for that matter. I think it was fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of being alone, fear of Matt's rage. I wasn't sure what he would do if I ended things.
Juice's rough hands on my breasts rattled me from my thoughts. I knew it was wrong, I was no better then the crow eaters at the clubhouse, but it always felt so right.