Disclaimer: We do not own Beyblade, Chrono Crusade, Fruits Basket, Full Metal Alchemist, Gundam Seed, Gundam Wing, Inuyasha, Infinite Ryvius, Kiddy Grade, Rurouni Kenshin, Gravitation, Tenchi Muyo, Yu Yu Hakusho, Wolf's Rain, Trigun, Cowboy Bebop, .hackSign or Now and Then, Here and There. o.o Do own...Nakim, Jiro, Rezil and Sin. Leave them be, please! And I own Kyra! Saeble and Flame belong to themselves! Sereno belongs to my friend Kiapo(who belongs to herself)
RatingL PG-13. Things get really weird...and there are some malexmale couples here...not to mention...really demented familes...and a man married to a dog...a male dog...
Summary(of some of it): Kyra and her family lived a pretty messed up life. Things were never quite normal and it got even worse when Jagara joined the family...It seems that her former owners want her back...And things can only get weirder...
Notes: Okay. I think we should get a few things straight here.
1) Yes, I know, it makes no sense. We didn't mean for it to! .
2) If you were wondering how this happened it went something like this: Saeble, Flame and I decided to write down all the names of anime characters that we could think of and draw them out of a bag to create families. Then, we decided that it would be fun to write stories about the families. But we needed ideas. So we wrote 15 down and each of us drew 5 from the bag. Later, we decided to give some of them jobs. We brainstormed and then drew them, too! . Some of the relationships in here changed because we felt like having other people laughs
3) For the most part, we have nothing against any of the characters. Just Hawkeye, Fllay, Dearka, Kuwabara, Charlie...and Cagalli...and some others XD
4) Yes, we have some guy couples in here. That came about near the end when we ran out of females in the family creations. x.o And then...we did some purposely .; For amusement purposes.
5) You must laugh at least once!
Okay! Now for all the info you may need!
Kyra's Info/Characters(some may never be used)
Kyra- An Airplane Pilot (I hope no one ends up on THAT plane...)
Husband: Mwu La Fllaga(GS)
Brother: Yosho(Tenchi Muyo)
Sister: Ryo-oki (Tenchi) A Taxi-Driver
Brother-In-Law: Kuzzy
Sister-In-Law: Ryoko
Father: Tenchi(I know...ew...O.o;)
Mother: Hana(FB O.o)
Uncle: Hiroshi(Gravi)
Aunt: Blue (WR)
Grandpa: Youko Kurama(YYH) A Super Hero
Grandma: Hawkeye(FMA)
Male Cousin: Dearka(GS)
Female Cousin: Tweedledee(KD)
Male Pet: Dranzer(BB)
Fem. Pet: Jagara(WR. O.o;)
Son: Vash( Trigun)
Daughter: Washu (Tenchi)
Son's Girlfriend: Cheza(WR)
Daughter's BF: K (Gravi. scared)
Bestfriend: Misao(RK)
Mwu's BestFriend: Tsume(WR) A Construction Worker
Misao's Boyfriend: Yuki(Eiri. Gravi) A Reporter
Tsume's Girlfriend: Cagalli(GS)
Vash's BFF: Zechs(GW)
Washu's BFF: Treize
Mwu's Mother: Fllay(GS)
Mwu's Father: Andrew ''
Mwu's Aunt: Mariella ''
Mwu's Uncle: Jaken(IY) A Bounty Hunter (O.o;)
Mwu's M. Cousin: Kenny(BB)
Mwu's F. Cousin: Asmaria(CC)
Dearka's GF: Cher (WR)
Tweedledee's BF: Toboe(WR) A Scuba Diver
Neighbor 1: Hubb(WR)
Neighbor 2: Yuki(Sohma)(FB) They live together. He is an Assassin (Try to get THAT picture in your head)
Neighbor 3: Fujisaki (Gravi)
Neighbor 4: Yuki(Aiba) (IR) (Why did I get all of the Yukis?) They live together.
Neighbor 5: Inuyasha(IY) A Librarian (o.o;)
Neighbor 6: Ritsu (FB) Yes...Sadly...They live together. He is the Mailman.
Enemy 1: Balmung (.hack) A Banker
Wife: Rosette(CC) A Vet
Son: "Charlie" (IR)
Dau: Uo (FB)
Father: Naraku (IY) A Teacher (O.o; That'll be interesting. Trust me. Wait until you see his students.)
Mother: Hillary (BB)
Charlie's Crush: Yzak(GS) Yzak Hates Charlie. Yzak is a Scientist (is that bad or good?)
Enemy 2: Hatori(FB) An Author
"Wife": Ein(CB) An Actor
His Mom: Vicious (CB) A Make-up Designer (Oooh, Sesshie! Where aaarreee yooouuu?)
His Dad: Airs Blue (IR) Bug Exterminator
Son: Tala(BB) Map Maker (o.o ?)
Son's BF: Bryan(BB)
Pet: Wolborg
Kuronue: A Thief
Chrono- Zoo Keeper
Nakim- The Pianist In Kouga's band.
Jiro- A Janitor
Sin- The Guitarist In Kouga's band.
Rezil- The Boggyman (Run, Saeble!)
Sereno- Logger (Haha! The Half-demon Squirrel Logger!)
Chapter 1
"Mwwuuu!" Kyra called, sliding across the wood flood of their new kitchen.
Mwu turned to her, raising his eyebrows, "Yes?"
Kyra, walking on her toes, went up to him, baring her fangs, "I was looking through our stuff...and, well, something is missing..."
Mwu smiled innocently, "Oh, really? What might that be?"
Kyra narrowed her eyes, "My sword."
"Oh, that? Ah...wel...uhm...you see..." Mwu backed away from his wife.
Kyra snarled and lunged at Mwu, wrapping her hangs around his throat, "You left my sw-"
"Mom?"
Kyra froze, slowly turning her head to bare her fangs at her son, "Yes, Vash?"
"Uh...why are you strangling dad?" Vash asked, staring at them.
"I'm not! I'm massaging his nack!" Kyra let go, smiling sweetly, "Right?"
Mwu stared at Kyra, nodding, "Y-yeah!"
Vash blinked, "Okay...right...well, anyway...Just thought I'd tell you that Washu has decided to live in your bathroom."Kyra sighed, "She's not making another entrance in the sink again, is she?"
Vash shrugged, "She seemed more interested in the toilet. Well, see you later! Cheza's waiting!" Vash waved and bolted.
Mwu scratched his head, looking at Kyra, "Who's Cheza?"
Hawkeye shut the door softly behind her, kicking off her shoes and beginning to tip-toe quietly through the dark house.
"Welcome home."
Hawkeye flinched, stopping in mid-step. "Aaah...there was a lot of traffic!"
Youko Kurama stepped out of the shadows, golden eyes narrowed at Hawkeye, "You were out with Roy again, weren't you?"
"Roy! Roy who?"
"Mustang."
"I don't date horses!" Hawkeye protested.
Youko scowled, "You date then?"
"I never said that!"
"You said that you didn't date horses which would imply that you dated other things," Youko growled, crossing his arms. "And I wasn't talking about a horse, moron."
"I wasn't going to see the Colonel! I went to see Winry!"
Youko blinked, "Winry?"
"The women who loves Ed!"
"Roy's husband?"
"Yes!"
"You were plotting to break them up," Youko stated flatly.
"How did you- I mean! No! No!"
"Mommy! Mommy!" Charlie ran into the house, sobbing. Rosette hugged him, patting his back.
"Now, now, dear...what's wrong?" Rosette asked.
Charlie wailed, "Yzak doesn't love me!"
Balmung, having just entered the room, said, "Because that's a shock."
"Balmung! Be nice!" Rosette said, hugging her son closer, "Don't be such a jerk!"
"It's hard," Balmung replied. "Where's Uo?"
Rosette glared at him, "What? More plotting against Hatori and Ein?"
Balmung blinked slowly, "No. She forgot to feed Jagara."
The click of claws on wood alerted Hatori of his wife's presence. "Good evening, honey," Hatori called, stuffing a package in a drawer just as the little Corgi trotted into the kitchen.
"Hello!" Ein answered, wagging his stub of a tail. "What is for dinner?"
Hatori shrugged, "Whatever you want. It is our anniversary."
Ein trotted up to Hatori who picked him up and kissed him on the cheek, "Can we have steak?"
Hatori nodded, "Of course. Go get ready and we'll go out."
"Okay!" Hatori set Ein down and watched him go up the stairs before turning to get the package and finish wrapping it.
Balmung shoved Jagara's shoulders, trying to push her down, "Down, girl! Down!"
"Welcome home! Welcome home! Where's Uo? Where's Uo? Foodfoodfoodfoodfood! Feed me! Feed me!" Jagara cried, running circles around Balmung.
"Shut up! I've been gone for five minutes! Calm down!" Balmung growled, glaring at Jagara. She lowered her eyes, slinking off to another room.
"I want Uo..." She whined.
"Stupid mutt..."
"Welcome home, dear!" Rosette called from their bedroom.
"Yeah, right..." Balmung muttered, throwing himself on the bed. Rosette went to give him a hug only to be thrown across the room.
"Balmung! Ow! What was that for!"
"Go sleep on the couch."
"Wha-"
"Go. Sleep. On. The. Couch."
"Fine! I hate you!" Rosette ran out of the room yelling "Balmung doesn't love me!"
"That's a fact..." Balmung muttered.
Cries of "Yzak doesn't love me!" could also be heard from across the castle.
Kyra stared at the toilet, head tilted slightly, "How on earth am I supposed to get passed this toilet...?" She muttered, hands on her hips.
"Uh...Kyra? Why are you staring at the toilet?" Ryo-oki asked, hopping up on to the counter and then to the back of the toilet.
"Oh, hey. I was just trying to figure out how Washu got it to work..."
Ryo-oki stared at her sister, reaching towards the toilet flusher, "You don't know how the toilet works?"
"Not this one!" Kyra said, chewing her lip.
Ryo-oki pressed down on the handle and was gone in an instant. Kyra leaned over the hole that had appeared in place of the toilet.
"Wow, Ryo! You're good!" Kyra called, satisfied. She turned and left the bathroom.
"Kyra? Kyra! Hey! Come back! Halp me out! Kyra! Washu! Someone help me!"
"Bye!" Kyra called.
Kyra stared at Rosette who was pointed her gun at the part-vampire, "Look who it is. The nun with the gun. You going to shoot me?"
"Yes!" Rosette snapped, preparing to shoot. "Die!"
"Rosette! Stop!"
Rosette whirled to face Chrono, fuming, "Why!"
Chrono ran to Kyra, grabbing her arm, "Because I love her!"
"What!"
Kyra pounced on Chrono, hugging him, "I love you, too!"
"Rosette!"
"What do you want, Balmung!" Rosette snarled.
Balmung hardly blinked, "Jagara ran away."
"Noooooo!"
Hawkeye shut the door behind her, calling out, "Youko, I'm home!" She listened for a response but got none. Though she did hear a quiet growling...
Hawkeye went up the stairs, slowly opening the bedroom door...to find...Kuronue kicking a fallen Karasu and Youko Kurama rubbing his cheek against Kuronue's shoulder. Is he...purring?
"Uh...Youko? What's going on? Who are these men in our bedroom?" Hawkeye asked.
Youko snarled, "Get out! My Kuro!"
Kuronue stopped kicking Karasu in order to stare at Hawkeye, "Why are you in my house?"
"Your house!" Hawkeye advanced on the two demons.
Youko snarled at her again, moving in front of the other demon, "Mine!"
"But Youko! I thought you loved me!"
"No! My Kuro."
"Fine! Finefinefine! Roy's better anyway!" Hawkeye stormed out of the room. Youko and Kuro shrugged before turning and continuing to kick Karasu.
"Tsume! Tsume! Wait up, Tsume! Why are you going so fast?" Cagalli panted, trying to keep up with her...boyfriend...
Tsume ignored her, continuing to push his way through the crowded sidewalk until he reached the park. "Tsume! What took you so long?" Toboe called, running up to Tsume and the panting Cagalli.
Tsume shrugged, glancing from Cagalli to Tweedledee and then to Toboe. "Where's the bird?" The older wolf asked.
Toboe grinned, "On its way."
"Good." Tsume turned to Cagalli, "It's over."
"What!" Cagalli grabbed Tsume's arms, "What do you mean!"
"Exactly what I said. I don't have to date you now that your brother stopped threatening me," Tsume told her, crossing his arms.
"No! This can't be! How could things be any worse!"
Toboe was about to tell Cagalli that is was highly likely that things would get worse when a loud honk came from over their heads. Cagalli and Tweedledee screamed when they saw the giant goose.
"You never said it was that big, kid," Tsume said as they watched the goose snatch up Tweedledee and swallow her whole.
Toboe shrugged, stepping aside as Cagalli ran by with the goose in tow, "Well, that's the thing...It wasn't that big ten minutes ago."
"Are you ready, Ein?" Hatori called, standing at the bottom of the stairs.
Ein waddled out of their bedroom, wagging his tail, "Yes."
Hatori smiled and picked the little dog up as he came down the stairs, "Good. So, shall we go then?"
"Yup! Steak sounds so good!"
A half an hour later the two were seated at a restaraunt table and waiting for their waiter. They ignored the strange looks they were getting.
"How did the audition go?" Hatori asked the Corgi, smiling.
Ein grinned, wagging his tail, "It went great! I felt like I did very well."
"That's great. So you're confident?"
"Yes! I'm excited, too!"
Hatori laughed, "I bet."
"How about your...plans...for Dearka?" Ein asked, cocking his head.
Hatori sighed, Father is too focused on Naraku and make-up designing to help me and dad is dead set on quitting his exterminator job to get back to his football career. So...I'm going to ask Tala to halp me out, I think. Is that okay with you, dear?"
Ein nodded, "If it get rid of Dearka, I don't mind Tala helping."
They discussed Dearka through dinner and, as the waiter took their plates away, Hatori took the package out of his coat and helf it out to Ein, "Happy Anniversary."
Ein yipped in excitement and took the package, opening it with his teeth. It was a bone!
"Oh, thank you, Hatori!" Ein leapt on to the table and ran to Hatori's lap to lick his face.
"You're welcome."
Kyra glided over the park sidewalk, white-fire wings outstretched. She was looking for someone...Mwu was gong(he'd left after she tried to strangle him) and she had her mind set one marrying...him!(Yay! Flame signed on! shuts up)
"Oh, Tssuuuummme!" Kyra sang, soaring past Cagalli and the goose to latch on to Tsume's arm. She folded her wings and rubbed her cheek on his arm, "Tsume...Tsume, would you like to marry me?" Kyra asked.
Tsume stared at her, blinking, "Why the hell would you want to marry me?"
Kyra grinned, "Because I love you! Why else? We'll adopt lots of kids and we'll have lots of fun!"
"And why would I want to marry you?" Tsume asked.
"Because you love me! Soo, what do you say, Tsume?"
Tsume shrugged, "Whatever."
"Yay! Kyra's marrying Tsume!" Kyra called, releasing Tsume and spinng in a circle. "Hey, let's adopt Toboe!"
Toboe perked up, "Really?"
Tsume shrugged again, "Whatever..."
"Yay! Kyra and Tsume are adopting Toboe!" Kyra sang, spinning again and then hugging Toboe. "I love you, my little wolf-boy!"
"I love you, too!" Toboe laughed.
Tsume watched Cagalli as she tripped and fell on the pavement. The goose loomed over her, its red eyes gleaming.
"Just eat her!" Kyra yelled at the goose.
It complied, swiftly picking her up and swallowing her whole as it had Tweedledee.
"Yay! Cagalli's gone!" Kyra sang.
Ding-Dong
"I'll get it!" Toboe called, running down the stairs to get to the door. The young wolf opened it to find a woman with light brown hair and a box in her arms, "Hello!"
The woman, who was panting and out of breath, said, "Delivery for a Mrs. Kyra La Fllaga!"
"I AM NOT MARRIED TO MWU!" Kyra snarled, appearing at her son's side. "Oh, hellom Ritsu! Is that for me?"
Ritsu began to sob, "I'm so sorry! I should have known you were married to Toboe now! Forgive me! Please forgive me!"
Kyra blinked, "Toboe's my son. I'm married to Tsume now!"
Ritsu wailed, "Nooo! I got it wrong again! I'm SO SORRY!"
"Er...Ritsu...It's okay! Who's this from?" Kyra asked.
Ritsu stopped crying, "Flame! Oooh! But she sent if last month! I'm late! See! She tried to arrest me for not wearing the proper uniform! But then! Oooh! There was this crazy man with a collar and drool all over his face! He ran up to us and started snarling at me so I ran! Then Flame yelled at me for speeding! But I had to keep running! I ran for the entire month and here I am!"
"Oh, wow. So Flame sent this? Wonder what it is." Kyra took the heavy box and looked over Ritsu's shoulder, "Oh, look, it's Jet!"
Ritsu heard a howl and he spun around around to see Jet running at him, "Noooo! NOT AGAIN!" Ritsu bolted.
"Thanks and good luck, Mr. Ritsu Sohma! Go to Saeble's! She might help!"
Toboe stared at Kyra, "Mister...?"
Kyra smiled, "Of course! Did you think Ritsu was a woman?"
"Well...yeah...So, what's in the box?"
"Let's see!" Kyra set the box on the entry floor and opened it...out jumped a very annoyed and very hungry...Kohaku.
First of all, I don't hate Rosette. .; I actually don't really mind her. Second, I don't hate Tweedledee. I just realized when I was writing that I didn't know anything about her personality and stuff .; So I got rid of her. Third, I HATE CAGALLI. . Fourth, the quote "No! This can't be! How could things be any worse!" was Flame's idea . The goose was one of the events she put into the bag, too :D Yay for Flame! She invented Cagalli's killer! Hahaha! .; Okay. Anyway! Uhm...; Oh, the football thing. Flame says that Airs Blue from Infinite Ryvius reminds her of a football player. So I'm playing with that a little .; Poor Airs!...Now...Hatori and Ein...It wasn't my idea. Or anyone's...I drew Hatori as my second enemy and there were like...no females left...so Ein ended up being his wife O.o; Okay! So there we have it! And I'd like to apologize to anyone who happens to like any character that I/We are being mean to!
In The Next Chapter: It's time for school and Naraku isn't going to like who he recieved as students...Luckily Darcia is there to help him out. But who are these mysterious men who have come to help teach? They are super heroes! And they look kind of familiar...
Thanks for reading and please review!
Kyra-