Our Song, a glee fanfic

This is a short oneshot of just a little of the backstory for Worlds Apart, my autistic Kurt fic. If you like this, I recommend you check it out :)

Elizabeth Hummel was tired. So, so tired. Her life had not turned out the way she had expected at all. Since she was a teenager she'd planned on travelling around the world as soon as she got out of school, going to everywhere she could imagine. She'd find some sexy foreign man and marry him, and live her life in a beautiful country like France. She'd even taken extra French lessons in the hope of attracting the man of her dreams. But then things hadn't turned out the way she'd thought.

She'd gotten a job after school ended in order to earn the money she needed to travel. But there was never enough. And then she'd met Burt Hummel – no sexy Frenchman, but somehow she'd fallen in love with the man and married him. She'd always dreamed of getting out of her small town of Lima, going anywhere to get away from it. But here she was, living in a small house in the town she'd never liked, married to a man she'd never thought she'd ever fall in love with, and with a son who she couldn't even hug.

Kurt. Her son was, after Burt, the brightest thing in her life. Just seven years old, with the most beautiful brunette hair he'd gotten from her, and brilliant blue eyes and a smile all his own. His laugh lit up rooms, made people fall in love with him. As long as they'd spent the time to get to know him. Meeting Kurt for the first time was never an easy thing – not with his autism.

Elizabeth had never heard of autism before Kurt had been diagnosed with it. She'd had no idea what was wrong with her son when he wouldn't make eye contact with her or Burt as a baby, and when as a toddler he still wouldn't talk in anything more than an undecipherable, quiet babble. There were so many other signs as well that she hadn't noticed – how he wouldn't play with the other kids at the park, how he obsessed over placing all his toys in perfect lines, how he would cry if someone tried to pick him up or hug him, and push them away. When he was five she'd finally gotten answers and she could put a name to her son's issues.

Autism.

Not particularly severe, but not particularly mild. Elizabeth had never really understood the 'spectrum' thing and all she knew was that Kurt was different and was never going to be like the other children. As he got older she began to accept that. Burt had taken a little longer to come around to the idea that his son wasn't quite normal in society's eyes. But here they were now, understanding that Kurt was different and there was nothing they could do about that but love him.

And she did love him. So very much. He was the most beautiful, amazing, happy boy much of the time, giggling and playing on his own with his toys. She would watch him in his room as he chattered to himself in a way only he could understand, making up stories and going on great adventures. He was so happy. Of course, there were the times when things were harder. Kurt had taken to having screaming fits whenever someone he didn't know or liked touched him. He allowed his parents to hold his hand, but that was the limit. Anything else from anyone resulted in a hysterics that took quite a while to calm down.

But things seemed to be getting better, in Elizabeth's mind. Kurt was becoming much better at communication. He'd been watching his mother as she made dinner one night a year ago and she had been talking quietly to herself in French. Kurt had surprised her a few days later when he spoke to her in fairly well-executed French. Since then he'd taken to it brilliantly and was now talking in the other language perfectly and eloquently. When he wanted to, of course. Often he would just ignore everyone and stay in his own world. And it was those times that were hard.

Elizabeth sighed, running her fingers over the piano keys. Burt had bought this for her on their tenth anniversary together, just last year, having saved up for so long in order to get it. It was a passion of hers, playing. And singing. Burt said she had a beautiful voice. She didn't believe him. He had to say that, he was married to her. But on days like this, when Burt was working and she was alone in the house with only Kurt for company, she would sit by the piano and occasionally, she'd play.

Mostly she made it up. Her fingers would fly and the music would just pour out in ways she often didn't expect. Sometimes she would play something she knew – sometimes a song she would sing, keeping her voice quiet so as not to disturb Kurt.

She stared down at the black and white keys, contemplating whether to play something or not. In the end, she breathed in and began to press down just slightly on the keys she wanted, a soulful and melancholy piece of music arising from the instrument in perfect harmony with her emotions. She felt tired. And sad.

She heard small, light footsteps coming her way and she stopped with a sigh. Perhaps she'd disturbed Kurt, or maybe he just wanted something. Maybe he was just heading down the hall in order to find another place to play, another adventure to escape into. The door opened quietly and her son stood there, brilliant blue eyes staring with piercing strength, his favourite toy – a stuffed black dog – clutched in his hand. Both were silent for a moment before Kurt slowly walked over to her and slid onto the piano seat beside her – not touching her, but perched on the end. He placed his toy in his lap, then looked up at his mother, unblinking, until she understood what he was asking. Play.

She did. She smiled slightly and began to play again, the same sad tune of just a few moments before. She stopped when she saw Kurt shaking his head, still staring at her. Obviously it wasn't the song he wanted. So she tried another one. And another. And another. None seemed to be right – Kurt would just shake his head and watch her until she tried again.

Eventually, still tired and now uncaring, Elizabeth tried the very next piece her exhausted brain could think of. She glanced down at Kurt, waiting for him to shake his head, but he didn't. So she kept playing. And as she did, she nearly fell off the seat as Kurt opened his mouth and began to sing.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Elizabeth watched her son as he stared straight ahead and sang with such a pitch-perfect and beautiful voice. She'd never heard him sing before, or use that much English – let alone say that many words at all. But here he was, hugging the stuffed dog close to his chest, singing softly and almost to himself as she played the piano beside him.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free

Quietly, she joined him. He just glanced up at her but didn't stop nor give any indication that he didn't want her to sing with him – so she did.

Blackbird fly
Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night

She was singing with her son. The son she could barely talk to, the son she couldn't hold, the son who would never manage a mainstream school and might not have friends besides that lovely Mercedes girl at his school who persisted in befriending him, the son who might not ever understand a relationship or love. That was what everyone told her. Kurt would never be able to do anything as he grew older. He wasn't normal.

But as she watched Kurt sing, she knew that all of those proclamations were just lies. He was strong, and brave, and determined. He wasn't normal, but he didn't have to be. She knew he would eventually find friends that would care about him and like him for who he was. She knew he would understand love. Maybe he would even fall in love one day. And wouldn't that be a sight to see? Kurt bringing home someone special, introducing them to her and Burt. Being in love.

She knew. All of these things – and more – were options for Kurt. One day. Right now though, all she wanted to think about was singing with her precious, beautiful son; the one thing she could share with him.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

She trailed off, fingers sliding off the keys, and Kurt blinked up at her. And then he smiled – a wide, excited, happy smile – before jumping off the seat and running out the door to occupy himself with something else, the toy dog still pressed tightly against his chest so as not to drop it. She watched him go with a smile of her own, tears building in her eyes.

Her life hadn't gone the way she'd planned at all. But if she were given the chance to go back and do it all over again, she wouldn't change a single thing.

The song is not mine.

Please review and tell me what you think! I hope you liked it :)