Just a little Christmas story for you all this Christmas Eve. Hope you enjoy!
The lights of the tree flickered in the little boy's gleaming eyes as he reached for the lowest hanging bulb, the only one he could reach. His mother watched him with that same twinkle in her eye, brighter now than before. She sat on her haunches just behind him as he turned the sparkling bulb in amazement, his gentle hands never yanking or grabbbing. The silent smile he turned to give her lit her world.
Noah climbed into her lap again, satisfied with his exploration of the tree they had been decorating earlier in the evening. Olivia wrapped her arms around him. His head laid naturally in the crook of her neck, his hands taking a new task in taking small strands of his hero's dark hair and stroking them softly. It was a familiar gesture. He often took comfort in weaving his hands in her hair. She smiled as he did it.
Her eyes glanced to the window where the city lights were blurred together by the new falling flakes of white. Slowly, she stood with her child in her arms. It was when she stopped at the window in the living room and said his name that Noah turned his head to take in the Christmasy wonder of cascading snow. His hand immediately pointed to the window, his eyes wide as his concern showed. Olivia smiled at him.
"It's snow. It's ok."
He made his new favorite sound, something Olivia described as a cross between "bubble" and "lava." Noah repeated it as he stared at the sight unfolding in front of him.
"You'll get it one day. We'll work on it, alright?" She laughed as he pressed his hand to the window.
"I just cleaned that."
The look she got in return made her shake her head. "But the saliva handprints are what give this place character, right?"
Noah nodded unkowingly, amusing her further. He moved a little, making another sound of displeasure. Olivia let him down to the floor gently, stepping into the kitchen for a glass of eggnog. Noah sat for a bit, watching his mother in delight. Then, nonchalantly, he moved on his little hands and knees to the table containing his toys. Olivia watched silently, a sense of tranquility settling on her.
Christmas had never been quite like this. She'd spent it previously in the Bahamas, and often alone. Now she watched as her son - her own son for whom she held so much love she thought her heart would explode - as he played, babbling happily to himself as the lights of their Christmas tree sparkled off of his beautifully curious eyes. She leaned on the counter heavily, convincing herself that it was all real.
The warmth of knowing she was safe, that they both were, was the only thing she'd wanted for the holiday. Their celebration was small, but it was perfect. It was only a few moments before her phone rang.
She sighed deeply. Not tonight. Any night but tonight.
"Benson."
"Don't worry, Liv, we're good for the night." Her partner had heard her disappointment in her voice.
She shifted her weight as she returned her eyes to Noah, still playing contentedly. ''And what are you doing scaring me like that?"
She knew he could hear her laugh.
"It's been a while since I've done it, so I thought tonight would work well." He offered sarcastically.
"Just wanted to wish you two a Merry Christmas."
Olivia smiled. As a comfortable silence settled between them, her smile fell. She'd known that his mother had gone to California to see Zara and that Maria had informed him that she didn't want to see him. He was at home - alone.
"Nick why don't you come over."
He quickly replied. "You should get to spend some time with Noah -"
"I have. It'd just be nice to have someone with us who actually says things I can understand."
She smiled a little as she heard Noah making that sound again."He's been busy all night."
Nick smiled too. "Bubbles and lava?"
Liv nodded. "How'd you guess?"
A pause.
"I'll be over soon."
Nick hung up the phone with a deep breath and a small grin. The snow fell heavily, landing in his hair and on his jacket as he walked out to his car. Even so, the night was calm. He drove cautiously on the open roads, marveling at how quiet the streets were. Christmas lights greeted him around every corner as he went. Not ten minutes had passed when he parked near Olivia's building.
The doorman greeted him kindly. "Merry Christmas, Mr. Amaro."
He saw him often.
Nick smiled. "And to yourself, Max."
Olivia opened the door not a moment after his knock. He smiled as she did. Noah laughed with delight on Olivia's hip at the sight of the man he knew and loved most. His little hand reached for Nick.
"Hey my man." Nick took his hand joyfully as he entered the apartment. Olivia handed Noah to her partner.
"See. I told you he needed some action around here. He was about to take own all the decorations we just put up." Olivia shut the door as Nick moved to the tree.
"Well you two did a darn good job."
Noah laughed and babbled something lightly.
"We'll turn those into words someday." Nick felt his smile burning his cheeks.
Olivia walked to the kitchen again. "Drink?" She held up her own glass as she asked.
Nick touched Noah's cheek as he admired the tree. "Glass of wine would be nice. Thanks."
Noah touched Nick's cheek in return as Olivia watched the beautiful exchange between them.
"I wonder what's going through that head of your, kid." Nick studied Noah's eyes as the little boy busied himself with the collar of Nick's shirt.
The two orbs of brown reflected the same fierce strength as his mother possessed all while shining with curiosity and the love he held for the people around him. And Nick witnessed all of that in one glance.
Olivia saw him as lost in the child as she found herself. The world disappeared with Noah. Life was completely beautiful.
She handed him his drink as he let Noah to the floor. The two took a seat on the couch to watch the little one. The low sound of Christmas music and the humming of the refrigerator gave just the feeling Nick needed.
"I wonder when he'll say something we'll understand." Olivia reminisced quietly, pulling her legs to rest beneath her as she sat.
Nick handed one of the toy cars on the table to Noah. His hand gently messed his soft hair.
He felt himself ready to ask the thing he hated most to ask for - help. But he found his lips moving despite his reservations.
"Liv." He paused after he said it.
She looked to him, but he avoided her eyes.
"You -" he stopped as he met her gaze. It would hurt them both to say it, but he had to.
She didn't say anything, already knowing what Nick was about to say.
"You went through hell last year. Lewis; then Cassidy - leaving." Olivia swallowed as she watched him struggle to finish.
Nick leaned forawrd, his elbows resting on his knees as he sat.
"How'd you do it? How are you doing it?" He asked for help from the only one he trusted for advice. She had to know. She could very well have been flat on her back from everything that had come her way, but there she was.
Olivia waited to reply.
"Nick. I know it's been hard - with Maria and Zara." She watched Noah as she searched for the right way to answer. She waited and contemplated if she was going to say what she was thinking. As she remembered having to watch him in a long battle every day, she said it.
"Some days it's hard to get out of bed." She looked at Noah again and took a deep breath.
"But you find a reason and you do."
Noah was her reason, even long before she knew it.
Nick looked at her again, recognizing what he had seen in Noah's eyes just minutes before. He nodded silently as he turned his attention to the child. The little one suddenly became aware again that they were sitting there. He grabbed the top of the table and pulled himself to his feet like he'd never done before. Olivia smiled at him, holding out her hands to see if he'd take the step to close the distance. Nick felt his entire mood lifted as Noah fell into her arms and was lifted into her lap.
"And it's worth it." She gave her partner a pat on the leg before getting to her feet. "You'll get through this."
Noah's eyes were already closing as she held him. Nick got up and followed her into the bedroom where she laid her son in his crib, giving him a soft kiss.
"Goodnight, Noah." She stroked his cheek as he stopped fighting the sleep that she'd seen tugging at his eyelids since supper. The clock read 8:19.
Nick reached in to touch his small hand. "Merry Christmas little man."
The quiet of the apartment was welcome as Olivia and Nick sat on the couch with bowls of puppy chow, sipping on glasses of wine while they took in A Christmas Story. When the end credits rolled up on the screen, Nick found Olivia's eyes shut as she gave into her exhaustion. He grinned as he grabbed their glasses off the coffee table and took both to the kitchen.
Olivia opened her eyes to the sound of water running. She pulled her cardigan closed agains the chill grabbing for her as she checked her watch. 10:45. She stood up as Nick dried the glasses and placed them back in their proper cupboard.
"You should be around more often. Nobody does the dishes here until there's a pile to the ceiling." She smiled as her eyes blinked heavily.
"Same thing as my place." He joked.
The lights were already off, except for the Christmas tree that still shone through the darkness as the snow continued to fall outside the windows.
"I'll grab some sheets for the couch." She moved toward the closet Nick already knew well.
"I'll get them. You get some sleep. I'm sure you need it more than I do."
She laughed tiredly at the statement and then stepped forward and wrapped him in a hug.
"Merry Christmas, Liv." He felt as at ease with both her and Noah as he would have with his own that night.
"Merry Christmas. Goodnight, Nick." Olivia disappeared into her room and shut the door quietly.
Nick laid out the sheets on the couch and climbed into them in one of Brian's ratty old T-shirts he'd left behind. With the lights casting stars of shadows on the ceiling, Nick fell into the deepest sleep he'd had in months.
And in the morning he'd get out of bed. He'd greet Christmas morning with a brave smile, sharing it with the strongest woman he knew he'd ever meet.
Merry Christmas to you all! I hope the holidays are full of beauty and family, and I wish you all a wonderful New Year.