Behind This Mask
Naruto raised his head and admired the beatiful stars in the night sky. The small, twinkling stars, like little pinpricks of light in a dark plain. The endless night sky stretched before him. He smiled sadly. It was such a beautiful sight, such a peaceful moment. He wished that it could go on forever. But it couldn't.
Do you ever feel like breaking down
Do you ever feel out of place?
He sat down on the grassy hill and slowly pulled out a small diary. He recorded all of his feelings in this small notebook. Such a small thing.. but it held so much importance. All his pain, all his sorrow, all held in this small pad.
Like somehow you just don't belong,
And no one understands you
He slowly opened his pad and read his first entry.
8 years old
Today the villagers weren't that bad. They only threw a few daggers at me. There glares held just as much hatred, butI supppose that after they got punished for beating me last night, they are too afraid to do anything except a few small things to me. I'm glad. I still have the bruises and cuts from last night.. I don't think that I would've been able to run away in time, or take a beating.
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming?
I think that it's actually quite amazing. Everybody thinks that I'm so stupid. They think that I don't know anything. But this is what I've got to do. If I act smart, they'll only be more angry at me. My almost daily beatings would only increase. So I must keep up the facade. I must keep up this mask... this mask of stupidity and lies, of pranks and shouts. I really think that I should leave this place, but where would I go?
No you don't know what it's like,
When nothing feels alright
No you don't know what it's like,
To be like me
Naruto smiled bitterly in reflection as he closed his small diary with a snap and stowed it back into his pouch. He knew what the villagers would do if they realized that he was actually a genius, that he could do things beyond the normal chuunin, probably even the weaker jounin. He knew that they would consider his a threat. After all, he was only 12 years old, almost 13. They would do horrible things... but Naruto understood. They did everything they did out of fright.
To be hurt,
To feel lost,
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked, when you down
To feel like you've been pushed around
They would do such horrible things...
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you,
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life.
Naruto suddenly thought of his team, of Sasuke, and Sakura. Of his sensei, Kakashi. Oh how he wished that he would be noticed like Sasuke. Noticed, but not out of hatred or fear. To be noticed out of reverence and care.
Do you wanna be somebody else?
He envisioned Sakura in her house. Her mother asking her about her day, preparing lunch or dinner. Sakura being hugged and kissed by her mother... while he had nothing.
Are you sick of being so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?
Then he thought of the other genin. They all had family and friends. They had loving parents. They had a good home, a caring home. The only one who could even remotely relate to him was Sasuke. And even he had the whole village at his feet.
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you bleeding?
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright,
No you don't know what it's like
To be like me
Nobody knew what he went through every day. Nobody knew how painful it was to wake up and know that you were facing another day of torture. Nobody knew... nobody knew what he did to keep his mask up..
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
They didn't know how many times he had been lied to. How many times people had hurt him, and had never even had a good reason. "He's a demon," was what they said... that was all he was... a demon.
No one every lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be okay
But he was glad that he was not spoiled. He was glad that he had to work hard. It made him who he was. He was glad that he was not given everything on a gilded platter... but he had just wished... he had just wished that someone would genuinely care for him. That someone would ask about hisday, that someone would hug and kiss him. But he knew that it would never happen.
Everybody always gave you what you wanted,
Never had to work, it was always there
No you don't know what it's like,
What it's like..
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
What it's like
Suddenly a clock chimed. Midnight. He smiled bitterly. He was 13. It was his birthday, and he was 13. It was his birthday... yet he felt no happiness. He should have been happy. He knew that he should've been. Any regular teen would be jumping for joy. But he wasn't regular. He would never be regular.
He had tried to be happy... he really had! But he just couldn't bring himself to feel happiness. After all, what was there to be happy for? He was a year older. It was great, wasn't it? Another year of torture, hate, and pain had passed. And many more stretched before him.
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when your down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to mylife...
Welcome to my life...
Nobody knew what it was like. And they would never know. Because this was his responsibility. His life. His curse. And he would have to carry it for his entire life. Never resting, never stopping. This was his pain. And he would bear it alone.
Welcome to my life.
Hey guys! i know that this isn't very good, and it isn't very original... but i just had to try to portry his pain... i feel so sorry for naruto... but i hope that you readers enjoy it! by readers i mean that one person that didn't have anything else to do, so she/he took pity on my ridiculously pathetic story and read it...
kisses,
korihime