Title: Margaret Jane's diary
Author: Loz
E-Mail: loz06@yahoo.com
Rating: PG 13
Category: Leo/Margaret
Series: Stand-Alone
Spoilers: Minor from Pilot thru 2 Current episodes
Archive (if applicable): oui
Feedback: The good, the bad and the very ugly it's all appreciated.
Summary: 11:25 pm - Shower water is warm, bed the same... crave company in both. Stomach craves sustenance … 11:26 pm - Eat pickles while standing at front window thinking about Leo … 11:26:30 pm - So glad my mother isn't here now.
Author's Notes: Done in the spirit of Bridget Jones's Diary. Don't necessarily have had to see the movie. Some English-isms in here I think. Given recent episodes it may seem more logical to do this diary format with J-D, but hey I like this pairing.
Disclaimers: No association with AS, WB or anyone to do with TWW, nor Helen Fielding, Miramax and Universal.
~*~
Monday 12th April
Calories, 1,500 (Strenuously avoiding the muffins in the mess)
Hours worked, 17.
Number of times Leo has screamed my name today, 4.
Number of times Donna has tried to get me to double date with Cliff, 6.
7:30am - Leo arrives and barely mumbles hello, remember he's spending most of the day in the Sit room, thus my name only abused four times.
12:30 pm - Practically jam Donnas lunch down her throat as she tries to get me to double date with her and Cliff and a friend of his...must email her dictionary definition of 'no'. Give the people in the mess my best dirty look for misrepresenting the calories count in their 'low fat' muffins. Don't they come under same social pressure to be thin as the rest of us?
2:30 pm - Pile of phone messages for Leo falls across my desk, order of most important to call back is lost...it took me 20 minutes to do. Instead pile haphazardly on Leo's desk, figure by now he can return a simple phone message without my support.
5:30 pm - Leo's door slams indicating he's back from the depths of the White House, a minute later my name is being called, bellowed is better word.
5:32 pm - Return to my office with enough work for the next seven hours without so much as an 'is it ok that you work back?' from my boss. Naturally assumption - 30 something single have no life... correct assumption.
11:30 pm - Stomach grumbling compels me to go down to the mess, only thing left are the offending muffins...am strong and refuse, get one for Leo despite hellish day. Fully aware kind gesture will probably go unacknowledged.
12:30 am - Leave White House constantly amazed I can remember where I live day in day out given amount of time I spend in this one.
**
Tuesday 13th April
Calories, 2,800 (2 mess muffins, get back on track tomorrow)
Hours worked, 14 (Almost like a normal person).
Number of times Leo has screamed my name today, 12. (Lost votes on the bill)
Number of times Bruno couldn't get my name right, 3.
8:30 am - First appointment of the day, Bruno...oh damn what's his name, calls me Mary. Must remember to thank him for reminding me where I sit on the food chain.
10:30 am - Politely request that Josh keeps Donna busy today thus avoiding probing questions about my non-existent love life. When I have two seconds must ponder why it is she can't see that independent, very capably, complete without a man, single woman works for me.
12:30 pm - Manage to avoid Donna by eating in my office, however must remember to thank Josh, menu is lacking in... anything, forced to have muffins, again give my best dirty look to staff.
1:30 pm - Make twenty fifth phone call for Leo as he chases votes up for the latest bill. Right now his efforts have the same results as a dog chasing its tail gets. Don't tell him that.
1:45 pm - Bruno in for another meeting, calls me Mandy this time.
2:35 pm - Bruno says thanks Megan on the way out...remember to suggest to Leo the man has a brain scan in the near future, or invest short term in some name tags, think I'm beginning to loose my identity thanks to him.
4:45 pm - Tenth time my name is called, Leo can't find the file he asked for which happens to be sitting right in front of him. Resist urge to say something, decide against it, need this job.
7:45 pm - Don't escape Donna as it turns out, she swings by before going out with Cliff probing me about who I have a crush on...There are national secrets not as well kept as the one I keep under lock and key close to my heart.
7:47 pm - Pretend I have to see Leo in order to get rid of Donna, my sincerest apology to my crazy friend. Must attempt to meet other single women in White House and become friends with them.
9:30 pm - Get thoroughly depressed about Donna being out on a date and nearly go down to the mess for another muffin, resist temptation but have a strong urge for a cigarette despite not smoking since college.
10:30 pm - Name bellowed for the twelfth time today. Forgive and forget however as Leo tells me I can go home. Brain goes wild with caring girlfriend sediments, requesting he come too, he looks tired has worked hard today and I'll cook dinner when we get home then curl up and sleep next to each other till the morning.
10:31 pm - Realize how ridiculous the last fantasy is, no food in my house.
**
Wednesday 14th April
Calories, 1,000 (To busy to breathe basically )
Hours worked, 18
Number of times Leo has screamed my name today, 2. (Something strange going on, he keeps coming and opening my door)
Number of hours slept last night, 4.
Time of phone call to come to work this morning, 4:30am.
On the scale of one to ten the amount I feel appreciated, 2.
4:30 am - Phone rings, disturbing my short sleep, it having been disrupted mostly by inappropriate dreams about my boss of many years. No hot water, forced to take a cold shower regardless of whether it was required or not. Evil thought to bang on landlords door on way to work and complain about water... know he'd tear up lease in front of my eyes.
4:32 am - Over cold coffee admit Leo has the right idea with a hotel room, currently pay rent for a bed and a cold shower.
4:35 am - Mental note need to go shopping soon, fridge contents are a cliché, moldy cheese, off milk and jar of pickles...hardly anything to make breakfast from.
4:58 am - Receive my first of many armfuls of work for the day, ask myself for the millionth time why I stay in this job. Must be job somewhere, where I don't have to sit outside someone else's office.
4:49 am - Remember it's because of my unrequited love for my boss.
4:49:30 am - Question is this any longer a good enough reason.
5:30 am - A caffeine high Donna stops by, bubbling about Cliff, note to self if this is what happens when you hook up with 'the one' consider appreciating Leo from afar for a lot longer. Compelling urge to run to the mess and stuff myself with muffins, both Donna's fault and lack of food in fridge.
5:35 am - My first of many 'could you just do this for me please' requests, if only I knew it would turn out to be such a monster.
8:30 am - First appointment for the day scheduled by Leo without my knowledge. Wonder if he honestly thinks he can survive without me.
8:32 am - Print off another copy of the rules, create a shortcut to the desktop from the file, testimony of how much I'm using it...wonder if he'd respond better if it were on colored paper.
8:46 am - Get shouted out of Leo's office for bringing him the rules again, compelled to staple them to his forehead, again refrain due to the poor state of finances and necessity of job to keep bank account open...not the owner of a savings account in the strictest sense of the word.
10:02 am - The most disgusting of behaviors, bum cigarette from President in secret and then smoke it in ladies room, after checking for smoke detectors and opening the window.
Number of times coughed - 10.
Current status of tongue - Furry
Amount of cigarette smoked before flushing it down toilet - 1 half.
Likelihood of doing this again no matter how dire the circumstances - Slim to none.
11:32 am - Phone call from my mother as Leo opens the door for the tenth time today, beginning to think he has something wrong with his throat, imagination goes wild with ideas about bringing him warm soup and tucking him in to sleep.
12:02 pm - Still listening to my rambling mother about how great her life is.
12:11 pm - Customary sighs from my mother about my life, re: hours I work; singular status and poor out look for future.
12:16 pm - Listen to mother sprout statistics as to why I should join a gym, wonder where I'd fit that in my day. Excellent place to meet men according to my mother.... I don't ask.
12:22 pm - Hang up from mother, though realizing lunch is a pipe dream today as I follow Leo to his next six meetings to take notes.
4:45 pm - Wonder fleetingly if it is difficult to teach yourself to be ambidextrous, v.g. for multiple meetings with congressmen who like to hear the sound of their own voices. Twentieth 'could you please do this for me today', consider throwing work back at Leo.
4:46 pm - Again don't because of financial reasons and the fact I may just love this man...note to self, this may be the first time I've said that.
7:45 pm - Worn down by mother, massive amounts of work and wallowing in some self pity at being in love with man who is almost certainly unattainable, give in to Donna and agree to blind date on Friday.
7:51 pm - Donna the Mexican jumping bean bounds back down the hall at Josh's request, start silently asking Leo to need me to work late Friday.
10:59 pm - No cash due to poor financial status, little desire to go shopping, no culinary skills and no aspirations to eat take-out again this week.
11:25 pm - Shower water is warm, bed the same... crave company in both. Stomach craves sustenance.
11:26 pm - Eat pickles while standing at front window thinking about Leo.
11:26:30 pm - So glad my mother isn't here now.
**
Thursday 15th April (Rent day)
Calories, 5,000 (Makes up for yesterday and then some.)
Hours worked, 15.
Savings account total after rent, $95.09
Number of hours spent at my apartment since came home from work last Thursday, 85.5 of a possible 163.5.
Payment per hour for the privilege of lusty dream filled sleep experienced in apartment based on $250 rent each week, Approx. $2.90.
Number of hours I have wanted Leo McGarry, 43,776 or around 5 years.
7:35 am - Oh Fuuuuck, five minutes late so pardon me, don't think it deserves such a public dressing down, clearly this isn't going to be such a good day...for either of us.
8:35 am - First of many sympathetic looks from CJ, Josh and Sam for this mornings verbal flogging at being five minutes late...desire to type again with two fingers, know I'd be out of the building faster than you can say 'Eagles on the move'.
8:43 am - Secret stash of muffins now hiding in my top drawer, may need to adjust calorie count at top of page.
9:01 am - The computers are down, breathe deeply to try and calm myself as I wait to hear my name.
9:01:15 am - "MARGARET"
9:35 am - Incur the wrath of Toby because something hasn't made its way from Leo's office to his. Don't feel to charitable about his cause because of lack of sympathy for mine this morning.
9:36 am - Leo takes Toby's side muttering what's wrong with me.
9:38 am - Seriously consider another cigarette in the ladies or at least telling him what's wrong.
9:45 am - Recover memo on Gingers desk, eat chocolate muffin from top drawer, six left and wait for an apology from Toby.
9:48 am - Ginger begs for my forgiveness, let her off with buying me lunch next week, after all she is tragically single like good self... been single longer and have sneaking suspicion is lusting after her boss, though would never confess as much, quite the same as I.
10:23 am - Wonder why I haven't noticed before now the nice suit that Leo is wearing today, more stupid fantasies about taking it off him before his bellowing my name interrupts me.
11:45 am - Still waiting for an apology from Toby.
12:02 pm - CJ apologies for Toby in the mess.
2:30 pm - Donna wants to discuss what I'm wearing tomorrow night, desire to ask her is my date worth getting dressed up for.
2:32 pm - After a *short* description I decide I would be better off sitting at home, drinking wine, watching romantic movies and pining over Leo.
10:32 pm - The last three muffins go in the bin; I don't hear Leo open the door till he's sitting on the desk next to me. Apologizes sincerely for over-reacting this morning, telling me to pack it up for the night.
10:33 pm - God I miss make-up sex.... I miss any sex.
**
Friday 15th April (Blind date day)
Calories, 500 (Must fit into outfit at end of day.)
Hours worked, 12.
Days since last had sex, *censored. *
Care factor for this blind date, 0 (Actual number closer to 3, bout time I got over Leo)
Number of outfits tried on for blind date 15.
Chances of my blind date being Leo, -1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000.
Units of alcohol, 2 glasses of wine pre-date, 3 during.
8:31 am - Try to be as excited as Donna about tonight as she bails me up as soon as I get in the building, why is it happy couples are always trying to set their friends up so they might experience the same joy as they are...don't they realize how much blind dates suck and double dating is sooooooo 1980?
9:35 am - Request to leave early from Leo is granted, could kiss the man as he asks me to come back when it's over as he needs me, I could kiss him for lesser reasons as well...Only in my dreams is it needing me the way I could need him.
9:36 am - Dejected because no signs of jealously are apparent at my little date...still one doesn't know what goes on behind closed doors. Purposely picked out most stunning sexy outfit in wardrobe, taking into account half of my clothes are balled up in the washing basket. Outfit has nothing to do with trying to impress blind date.
10:21, 11:34, 12:12 pm - More Donna than I usually like to get in one day and I swear she's the one who wants to date this guy.
2:43 pm – Note to self, take Donna shopping one weekend soon and purchase underwear, which isn't commonly known in the schoolyard as Granny pants and won't turn prospective men to sleep with off at the sight of it.
3:51 pm – Compliment from Leo on my outfit that is hanging off the back of the door. Small glimmer of hope there is some jealously there…note to self, probably all in the imagination.
4:32 pm – Come back from delivering memos to find two condoms under my keyboard, must remember to thank Donna for her optimism or ask just how desperate this guy is. Quickly shove them out of sight in a drawer less Leo sees them and gets the wrong idea… that in fact is the right idea.
7:01 pm – Curse mirror in ladies that doesn't present face in best light, wonder for the billionth time what I'm doing, why I bought this shade of lipstick and why I still count Donna as a friend.
7:02 pm – Try thinking of ways I can get out of tonight.
7:02:30 pm – Come up with nothing and succumb to Donna who is banging on the ladies room door yelling for me to hurry up.
7:03 pm – Give myself seven out of ten for nice sexy black pants, despite the fact have already started to crawl up my…. Kudos for revealing red spaghetti strap shirt, though not too revealing, trying to ignore the fact the straps are sticking into me, consider I might have bought a size to small. Hide my bra strap for what will be the first of many times tonight, don't want to appear too wanton.
7:04 pm – Deep soothing, calming breath, desire to walk into Leo's office to say I'm going now, just so he can see me dressed like this, regardless of the fact I'll be back later in the same clothes.
7:05 pm – Aggravated sigh from Donna before practically dragging me out of the building… what are friends for.
7:25 pm – Insult number one, first trip to bathroom to extract pants from my …
7:45 pm – Insult number two; drink number two … much stronger this time. First glare from Donna because I'm not trying.
8:30 pm – Drink number three, insult number six, first pleading, don't kill me tomorrow look from Donna … finally she realizes what a mistake this was, fourth trip to bathroom.
8:31 pm – Contemplate crying about pathetic life while perched on toilet seat.
8:45 pm – Unable to take anymore, excuse myself and return to the White House a half hour before Leo requested I come back.
8:55 pm – Break cardinal rule and appear weepy and helpless in front of my boss as I confess my date made fun of my hair, thighs, and clothes and insinuated I am sleeping with him.
8:55:30 pm – Note to self, last inclusion in long list of gripes about my date probably wasn't the best one to add in.
8:56 pm – His hands are soft and gentle; leave strange tingling sensation behind as they rub my arms soothingly.
9:05 pm – Remind myself not to get carried away.
9:06 pm – V. nearly loose control as Leo tells me he likes me just the way I am, overwhelming desire to kiss him. Decide that I'm going to wake up any moment, naked next to my awful date, my mouth tasting like stale alcohol and my granny underwear hanging off the end of the bed.
9:07 pm – Recite the latest polling data in my head in an effort to make no correlation between the condoms in my bag and the fact Leo has just offered to take me home, he really is the best boss you could ask for.
9:10 pm – Must not over analyze what 'you look nice tonight' really could mean… back to polling data, have stepped into another world, now experiencing how the other half live… or at least get driven home.
9:30 pm – First kiss is nice. Lips soft, gentle.
9:31 pm – Consciously aware my house is not by any definition of the word neat. Laundry basket overflowing scattered books and magazines, enough cat hair to sew a blanket out of. Defiantly doesn't say woman of the world.
9:34 pm – Second kiss is nicer, took a little while to get here, put on my best strong, independent woman, making her own decisions and knows what's best for her façade to allay his concerns… what's best for me is to kiss him now.
9:36 pm – Oh… his hands are on my ass… could get used to this defiantly. Say silent thanks for choosing normal female underwear when got out of shower this morning.
9:42 pm – Don't want this to end… Oh this isn't ending :0).
**
Saturday 16th April (The day when I wake up next to Leo)
Calories, -600 (Spent all day in bed.)
Hours worked, 0. Yay!
Hours since last had sex, 2.
Number of time Leo has said he loves me, 4.
Number of times we had sex, number not finalized yet.
Number of bruises of my arm where I have pinched myself thinking this isn't real, 4.
8:32 am - Oh glorious day, awaken in strong arms of one Leo McGarry and consider last night was best nights sleep have had in a long time, regardless of the fact it was so short.
8:34 am - Panic stations, decide he's going to awaken and tell me last nights mind blowing sex was rather large mistake, then extract my heart with kitchen knife and feed to hungry cat.
8:45 am - Leo McGarry has not woken up, stirred and turned over giving me priceless of view of shoulders and chest...rather nice. Sense however it's more than physicality I'm interested in, brain is mysterious... desire to spend many weekend mornings finding out what makes him tick.
8:48 am - Stare uninhibitly at him at him while he sleeps... why couldn't this be a full time job. Hair is tousled, face the most relaxed I've ever seen.
8:49 am - Mouth twitches a little... Oh shit he's awake.
8:53 am - Decide will make magnificent breakfast for both of us as continue to watch him doze. Will impress with culinary skills I don't have.
8:54 am - Once again come to realization there is only off milk and moldy cheese in fridge.
9:03 am - Leo McGarry is moving in the bed next to me, by the way, we're fated to succeed in a relationship because he doesn't like to sleep on my side of the bed. Always wanted a man who doesn't encroach on ones life, but slides on in nicely like favorite old sweater.
9:04 pm - Delightful lips press kisses on my neck... safe bet he's awake. Strong, comforting arms wrap around me and pull me closer, then my favorite part the husky sounding good morning.
9:06 am - Current actions suggest definitely no regrets about last night.
9:08 am - Am likely to resemble Donna come Monday morning.
9:09 am - Fleetingly realize will have to continue to lie to Donna on daily basis. Will find it necessary to lie about abundant good mood I predict I will be in continuously for the future and lie shamelessly to turn down blind dates.
9:10 am - Come to realization I couldn't care less.
9:11 am - I have the best man in the world and he has me.
**