AN: This is the first Janto I have written and it was supposed to be like 3 chapters, but that came and went a few chapters ago (I've got a lot written, just need to get it typed). So, please be kind to me! And yeah, it's a little dramatic so just brace yourself for it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood, its characters, or anything else.

Ianto was lying naked on the bed. He was very aware of the man next to him, also naked, and what they had just done. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath, opening them slowly as he exhaled. He glanced sideways, quickly looking back when their eyes met.

"Jack," he said quietly. He was met with a vague rumble or recognition. "What is this?" He tried to keep his voice steady but it faltered a bit.

"This is pretty great sex," Jack grinned back. He chuckled at the flush that crossed Ianto's face.

"No, I…" he stammered.

Jack raised an eyebrow. "No? Heh, well. Could have fooled me."

"I mean, yes. It was." He couldn't look him in the eye. Biting his lip he continued, "But that's not what I meant. I mean—"

"I know what you meant." Jack interjected quickly.

"Oh…um…okay. Okay then." Ianto took another deep breath. "Right. Wait. So, what is this?"

"Ianto," he said the other man's name like a sigh. "Can we just not?" he paused giving him a hard look. "Not do this right now?" His voice had a harsh edge, but his face was gentle.

"Oh." Disappointment and confusion tinted Ianto's voice. "Sure. Yeah. Not a problem. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. Right. I get it." He sat up and swung his legs over the side, glancing around for where his pants had been carelessly tossed earlier.

Jack groaned as he rubbed his hands over his face roughly. "Come on, Ianto." He ran his fingers lightly across the base of his spine. Ianto made a strangled noise in the back of his throat, though Jack was unsure if it was one of pleasure or confused discomfort, and stiffened at the contact. "I didn't mean it like that and you know it."

"Whatever you say, sir," he replied coolly, pleased at managing to maintain some composure even as his insides felt like a pit of snakes.

"Okay, cut the crap," he snapped giving him a nudge to make the other man look at him. "I think we are past it." His hard look was met with a half shrug.

"Old habits and what not."

"You kill me," Jack said, exasperated.

"You'll live," Ianto's mouth twitched but he didn't quite manage a smile. Jack responded with a shake of his head.

"That I will. But look, I'm sorry if it hurt your feelings or something. That was bad of me. But I just don't like to," he sighed heavily, "I mean, want to, talk about emotions and shit."

Keeping his face impassive, Ianto said, "Yes, well, I shouldn't have 'emotions and shit'," He raised an eyebrow adding, "Not for you at least."

Jack put a hand over his heart as if the comment had hurt him. In fake shock he exclaimed, "Hey! Guys like me need love too."

A shadow crossed Ianto's face. "I'm not gay, Jack," he said seriously.

"Uh…okay," he responded, surprised by the sudden declaration. "Okay." He withdrew his hand from Ianto's back, feeling like it was making the words harder for the man. "But I didn't ask if you were."

"I'm serious."

"I know." He raised himself onto his left elbow, looking at him more closely. "It's okay."

His voice was thick. "I don't like men!" he exclaimed, fighting back tears.

"It's alright, Ianto."

"No. It's not alright." He choked back a sob. "I don't know what the fuck is going on with me. I know it is your fault, though, Jack Harkness!" Tears began to run down his cheeks and clamped his eyes shut, hands covering his face. Muffled he said, "Too much. It's all too much," as he shook.

"Oh shit," Jack muttered to himself, cursing his lack of thought about what would happen after it hit Ianto. "Shit. Shit…ah…oh…shit…" Sitting up he sat for a moment unsure what to do. Finally he decided on wrapping his arms around Ianto's slim frame, cradling him to his chest. "Shh. It's okay. Shh." One arm held him fast as the other hand gently stroked his light brown hair. "Shh," he murmured soothingly. "It's okay, honey. You're fine. Shh."

Slowly the sobs stopped though Ianto was still clutching Jack as if he was drowning. "I'm sorry." He whispered into Jack's chest, damp with tears.

"Why?" he responded a little confused.

"Because," Ianto sniffed and wiped at his eyes as he attempted to break free of the other man's embrace. "I shouldn't have broken down like that."

"Dammit Jones. You are not seriously apologising for that, right? Because that is ridiculous. Everyone is allowed their moments," he said exasperated.

Ianto scoffed. "Yeah, everyone." Jack pulled an inquiring face as he finally let him pull away completely, satisfied that the tears were over. "You don't see the great Captain Jack Harkness crying like a baby instead of dealing with what happened."

"I…" he started.

"Save it, Jack." A strained quiet fell across them, each lost momentarily in thought. Ianto began to fidget with the edge of the sheet as he contemplated throwing on his clothes and just getting out of there. Jack heaved a heavy sigh as he mulled over his own thoughts.

"Do you regret it?" he whispered, barely audible. Ianto quickly turned back to face him, and their eyes locked.

"What?" he breathed.

"Do you regret it?" There was a terrible vulnerability to Jack's voice that was reflected in his eyes and it made Ianto's chest ache. He hesitated before answering. Eyes closed, he slipped his tongue out quickly to moisten his lips and took a deep calming breath.

"Not one moment of it," he breathed back. Jack released the breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding.

"Good. That's…good."

"Yep."

"Okay then."

"Okay." Ianto paused before asking, "Where do we go from here? Assuming it will go somewhere. I hope." The last bit was added in a small voice.

"Well, where do you want to go from here?"

"I want a shower." Jack waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Alone!" Ianto exclaimed, sounding scandalized. "Then I am going to change and make some coffee. Very strong coffee. It's almost time for work." He quickly gathered his clothes, pulling on his trousers and left the room.

Ianto had never appreciated the Hub's shower room more than at that moment. The scalding water beat down on him and he felt as though he was being unwound, muscles slowly uncoiling, becoming almost loose. He leaned his forehead to rest on the cool wall and took a deep calming breath. HE closed his eyes and instantly regretted the action as the moments flooded back over him that had led to whatever it was that he had with Jack. He had been intrigued by the man since he first saw him, but had interpreted the floor rolling during the pterodactyl incident as a simple result of adrenaline. Looking back he realised it was the start of something far different. Having heard of the mysterious, and reportedly promiscuous, Captain Harkness while at Torchwood One should have prepared him, but Ianto had been completely drawn in by the man's charming nature and, without conscious decision, he began to flirt back, though in subtle ways. He hadn't considered that maybe his actions were akin to playing with matches and that he might not be prepared for the consequences.

Consequences? Ianto dragged himself back from his memories. The word sounded too negative to him, even in his raw and confused state. Surely nothing that featured Jack could be that negative in the end, not even what happened to Lisa. Ianto had silently decided in the days after the incident that she had truly died back at Canary Warf, though it pained him to admit. In the end, did that make Jack almost merciful in his actions? He had done what was necessary in a highly volatile situation.

Ianto turned off the water, grabbing his towel. He tried to push away all of these thoughts. He simply could not bear to sort them out while facing the team, as he would soon have to. He pushed his thoughts and feelings into compartments in the back of his mind and sealed them. With a sigh he began to mentally prepare himself for the day ahead.

AN: So, there's the first chapter. The next one finds us looking more into Jacks point of view of it all. If I can't get it typed up tomorrow first thing in the morning then sadly it will be a while till it is up because I won't have the computer with me.

I hope you all enjoyed it and will stick around for the rest. I know parts of this were pretty eh but I think it gets better as it goes along.

Be kind, review! The button is right below this.