Chapter 1:
Aradia: Wake up.
You wake up to the sound of someone pestering you on Pesterchum. You knew you should have closed your laptop before going to bed, but you were so tired last night, you definitely weren't thinking straight.
You decide to answer the sorry chum who woke you up. Oh, it's your friend Tavros. On second thought, maybe you should just ignore him and go to bed. He probably just wants to rant about some stupid romcom he watched last night and how Matthew McChonoughey (or however the hell you spell it) took off his shirt. Not even in an ironic way.
Your taste in things has developed in a fucking awesome way, you think, because of your bro's (mostly) wonderfully ironic influence. But the sight of smuppets still haunt from that one event… You know, let's forget about that. You might as well answer Tavros.
- eternalTutelage [ET] began pestering turntourAllkeeper [TA] -
ET: dID YOU GET IT YET?
ET: dID YOU? dID YOU?
ET: oH,,, sORRY, YOU MUST BE ASLEEP
TA: w0w y0ure a fucking psychic
ET: dID i WAKE YOU
ET: i'M SORRY IF i DID
TA: its fine i guess
TA: i mean im up n0w what can you d0
ET: uHH
TA: s0 what did y0u want
ET: dID YOU GET IT YET
TA: what
ET: uHH,,, tHE GAME OF COURSE
TA: y0u mean the 0ne y0u just l0st
ET: aWW MAN,,, FUCK, THANKS A LOT
TA: my pleasure as always
ET: wHAT i REALLY MEANT WAS SBURB
ET: dID YOU GET SBURB
TA: h0w the hell sh0uld i kn0w i just g0t up
ET: wELL YOU SHOULD GO CHECK THEN BECAUSE THIS GAME LOOKS REALLY AWESOME
ET: aND i, uHH,,, wANT TO PLAY WITH YOU AS SOON AS WE CAN
ET: iF THAT'S FINE WITH YOU
TA: yeah whatever
ET: cOOL
ET: rEALLY COOL
ET: :)
TA: I d0nt even have the game yet s0 d0nt get t00 excited
ET: yEAH i KNOW
ET: iT'S JUST THAT
ET: uHH,,, i'VE BEEN WAITING SO LONG FOR THIS GAME TO COME OUT AND i FINALLY HAVE IT
ET: i'M SO CLOSE TO ACTUALLY PLAYING IT
TA: d0 0nly guys get this excited 0ver a vide0 game release
ET: iT'S ACTUALLY A COMPUTER GAME
ET: aND, uHH,,, i DONT KNOW
ET: i'VE NEVER REALLY MET ANY GIRL GAMERS
TA: maybe y0u w0uld if y0u left y0ur r00m 0nce in a while
ET: uHH
TA: but even then y0u w0uld have a hard time finding s0me
TA: girl gamers arent in abundance
ET: uHH,,, iNTERESTING,,,
ET: i GUESS i'LL GO NOW
ET: sOMEONE ELSE IS PESTERING ME
TA: 0h is it y0ur tr0ll girlfriend
ET: sHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND
TA: 0f c0urse
TA: I believe y0u in the fullest
- eternalTutelage [ET] ceased pestering turntourAllkeeper [TA] -
Aradia: Check the mailbox for Sburb.
You make your way down to the first floor of the apartment complex to look for the stupid game. You would rather rub your face in the plush rump of your bro's smuppets than play this fucking STUPID game. You always knew Tavros was a gaming nerd, but you have no idea what makes him want to play this game so much. It just sounds like another version of The Sims or something. Why would anyone want to play a knock off of The Sims when they can just play The Sims?
Anyway, you've successfully reached the first floor of the apartment while avoiding any traps bro has set for you. You uneventfully open the mailbox, which predictably has a Sburb disc inside. Wait. It says 'Disc 2.' Oh fuck.