A/N: I wrote the first sentence for the fic a long time ago, and just now found it in an old composition book. This has turned from what was going to be a simple geek!Santana, Popular!Rachel fic into something else. Soon, I'll start uploading a Glee/Fringe crossover fic I've recently started. I see this fic as a bit of a alternate beginning to that fic. I suppose this could easily be enjoyed as just a one shot either way.
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The look her abuela sends her every five minutes is burned into her mind, and Santana finds herself calling Rachel, tears falling through the makeup she'd been forced to wear as she listens to the dial tone. Her mother thought the cosmetics would make her appear less like herself, less like a lesbian.
"Hello, um Rachel? Sorry for bothering you... I just - I know how I may have told you I was busy today but I would love to get away from here. Would you still like me to help you with your history of criminal law class? If you aren't busy, that is." She closes her eyes, breathing through the way her tears, and the reason for them, makes her shake a little.
"Oh, hi Santana. yes I definitely still need help with my studying. But hey, Tana...what's wrong? You sound...Are you alright?"
"it's just my whole family is here...and they aren't what you would consider supportive of my lesbianism. Mi abuela especially. But that doesn't matter. Can we study at your's? I'm sure you understand why being in my room alone with a beautiful girl would only make my living situation, and the one with my family, even worse."
"I understand, go ahead and come over. I just pulled those cookies you like out of the oven." On the other end of the line, Rachel frowned. It was difficult for her to understand why Santana continued to live with her stepmother. And furthermore, why she stayed in Lima. She made enough money in her job tutoring Ohio State undergrads to have her own place, and it's not like Rachel would ever tell her no if she asked to live with her in the large loft apartment she'd rented after her father's died. She could no longer live in the house she'd grown up in. Not without them around to make the place a home.
She was not ignorant to the fact that Santana could be in Cambridge, studying and preparing for her future. She guessed she understood. The latina was already an outcast at home, being an eighteen year old college junior most likely wouldn't help that.
"Awesome, I'll be there in ten. Want coffee?" Rachel's laugh never fails to make her smile as she gets up to wash her face and reapply makeup for her mother's sake. She grabs the keys to her bike and throws her backpack on as she heads downstairs.
"Santana, nina where are you going, hmm?" Her...mother asks, eyebrow raised.
"Rae needs help with a class, going to help h-" She stuffs down her frustration at being interrupted as her mother's eyes light up.
"Ray?! Hmm... is he cute, mija?"
"Yes. I need to go now, Mami."
"Of course, can't keep the boy waiting."
Santana frowned as she escaped, the downturn of her full lips on easing away when she thought of who she was going to see. She hopped on her Harley, pulling on her helmet and tucking the other one away just in case. It was depressing to think of, but she used to forgoe it all together.
With her papi's passing, she'd lost her will to live, really. It was only with Rachel's words that seemed to spoken out of fear of how heartbroken she'd be if Santana lost her life in the accident she'd secretly been hoping for, that she'd started to wear a helmet again.
Five minutes later, she hopped off her bike, adjusted her dress, and walked into lima bean, stopping at the back of the long line. She texted Rachel to let her know she may be five to ten minutes late and why. Looking to her right, she just now noticed Tina, Mercedes, and Kurt and their shocked looks at her appearance. She knew the tight, blue and black striped dress and heeled boots were uncharacteristic of her. She tucked her phone in the pocket of her black leather jacket and waved at them, smiling kindly.
It was strange to see them smiling back just as cordially. Their comments and insults about her had always hit close to home due to the fact that she heard the same things at home.
When she was at the counter she quickly ordered matching soy vanilla latte's, picked them up and left a generous tip before leaving the shop. She slipped both coffees in her covered cup holder and pulled on her helmet before she left in the direction of Rachel's building. Four minutes later she pulled into the parking lot under the apartments and hopped off her bike, strapping both helmets to her bag and grabbing and pulling out the coffee. She hopped on the elevator and pushed the button for the eighth floor.
When she got to the door, she input the code and pushed the door open and then closed once she was inside with her hip. She walked into the kitchen, watching as Rachel slipped a small pizza in the oven. She put the coffees down on the island, and her bag on a high stool chair. Sitting in the next chair over, she pulled out her books and put them next to the coffee. Rachel turned around when she bit into one of the key lime cookies.
"Whoa, Tana...you look..." She didn't know how to say she honestly preferred casual, familiar jeans, tee shirt, and leather jacket Santana without hurting her the way she always seemed to do without meaning to.
"Yea, I know. My mom thought it would make me look straight. I think it makes me look stupid. Well, at least Kurt, Mercedes, and Tina were too shocked to insult me for once." She grinned a bit and opened her book back to Rachel's level.
"How could they? You look beautiful, right?" She realized her mistake a second too late, Santana was already frowning looking at herself and then back up at her. Second guessing herself the way she always did, Rachel guessed, when someone commented on or insulted her based on her beauty or in their opinion, lack of it.
Rachel didn't want to be a part of her doubting herself. Not anymore. They had only been friends for coming up on two months and she'd been walking on invisible eggshells around the other girl to make sure she didn't hurt her the way her so called "friends" did.
"I wouldn't know. Do I? Is this what people like? What girls like? What...what you like? I guess I can dress like this if it's the type of thing you like on another girl. I mean, I ...I don't hate it exactly." , she stuttered out, feeling a little heartbroken.
"Yes you do Tana, you hate it. And that's okay, I don't like it either. You don't need any of it to make you beautiful, okay?"
"Even to you?" the timid girl asked, bottom lip trapped between her teeth. Santana counted the blonde her among her small group of friends now, but Rachel's ex girlfriend Brittany was gorgeous, and she dressed more like what the latina was wearing than her usual casual, comfortable attire.
"Especially to me, Santana. In fact, follow me. I ordered some stuff, and it all came in yesterday." Rachel led Santana to her room where she handed her a pair of worn jeans and a brand new Iron Man t-shirt. Rachel pulled on her black widow tee over her long sleeved black shirt.
"Quinn called Hawkeye, Britt Thor, Sam the captain, and Noah Loki. Wanna go get that make-up off your face? You don't need it." The smile fell off of the taller girl's lips as she remembered Rachel saying something like that before.
"So you've said. I'm gonna go." She reached to pull of the t-shirt off but Rachel held her hands down.
"Wait, don't leave. Don't be angry with me. I think you misunderstood me when I said that before. I didn't understand why Kurt, Mercedes, and Tina were laughing, and I didn't understand why you were crying, why you ran away. I was complimenting you, Tana. I only said that you didn't need makeup and that it couldn't help you because I thought you were beautiful and that your skin is perfect, I just didn't get why you thought you would need to cover it up. You never let me explain." Santana stopped, and looked into Rachel's mahogany eyes, sensing truth in them.
"Oh. Um, thanks for the shirt and the compliment. We should get started with your studying before your lunch is ready." They headed back to the kitchen.
"Our lunch. I made enough for both of us. I figured since you're always trying to get me on that bike of yours. I thought perhaps we could have dinner then go for a ride. Unless you have other plans. Do you?" Santana shook her head. Rachel was seated next to her writing out things she was having trouble understanding or remembering about the area of the books her final would cover.
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One and Half Hours Later
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hooking both matte black helmets from her bag, Santana handed one to Rachel and pulled the other on her head as she straddled her bike and popped the stand. Looking back to make sure her friend was out of the way, she pulled backwards out of her spot and into the the main lane that would lead her out of the parking structure. Kick starting her Iron 883, she motioned for Rachel to hop on, breathing through the butterflies that erupted when slim arms wrapped around her abdomen.
"Ready?" She looked backwards as she asked. And giggling at Rachel's excited nod, she took off out of the garage. Apparently the brunette behind her had found a place in Columbus that was founded by a vegan biker, and on Saturdays they had a thing in the parking lot where people would gather, talk about their bikes, cars, and apparently, trade vegan recipes. She wasn't exactly sure how Rachel found crazy stuff like this, but she wouldn't complain.
It took them around two hours to get there, with a couple stops for gas. When she pulled into the rather large parking lot of what she now understood was both a vegan restaurant and a car and bike garage, her eyes went wide at all the muscle cars and older bikes she had only ever dreamed of having. She pulled her bike in next to an old 74 triumph trident that reminded her of her dads. The one her step-mother sold a week after he'd died in a accident at the hands of someone who'd been so busy looking at their phone they hadn't seen him. His custom Harley seventy two had been completely torn apart by the huge ford 350 heavy duty.
So the seventy-two was gone, as was the old trident, but she'd saved the rocket 3 touring and the Harley soft tail breakout. She smiled when she realized how much her father would have loved something like this. She pulled off her helmet and then Rachel's when the hopped off the bike, clipping them both to the side rails she had attached to a box on the back. Reaching into that box, she pulled out Rachel's cookies and walked with her to the table on the other side of the lot where tons of vegan goodies were laid out and men and women sat around, sipping on ice tea and talking about recipes and vegan-friendly restaurants in the area they'd been to. Rachel walked up to a talk black man and jumped into his arms. He laughed deeply, spinning her around like a small child.
"Uncle Max, hi! Thanks for inviting us. This is the girl I've told you about. Say hi, Tana!" Both Berry's grinned at her, so Santana walked forward, putting the cookies on the table next to her and stuck her hand out to be shook.
"Hi, I'm Santana Lopez. It's nice to meet you, sir." Rachel laughed out loud at the title.
"Sir? Why are you calling him sir? Just call him Max, right, uncle Max? Or if you have to be so formal, Mr. Berry, I suppose." Santana shook her head at Rachel.
"Ah, you have to be the daughter of a marine, right? Guessing Rachel told you that I'm a marine myself, and at that, an officer?
"Yes, sir." Santana nodded curtly
"You've got a good one here, Rae-bear. Why don't you go say hi to your aunt Lillith. Me and your girl will go talk about bikes." He picked up two cookies and handed one to Santana before he walked off, knowing she would follow. He walked over to her 883 and squatted down, taking a look at custom pipes and the subtle red pinstripes on the gas tank. Right there taped on top of the tank where she could always see it was a picture of her dad knealed down among his force recon unit, the desert stretching out behind him.
"You're dad's force recon? Wait...Lopez...Lopez. Your dad's captain Santiago Lopez, right?" Santana nodded rubbing the pad of her thumb over her father's image in the picture.
"Was. Died two years ago. Gave me this beauty for my sixteenth birthday. Got...hit by a driver who wasn't paying attention the same day. Said 'Forgive your forgetful dad, mija. I forgot the ice cream. I'll be right back, don't you dig into that cake I made you without me.' " She didn't understand her tears streaking down her face. She'd buried the pain from losing her father two years ago. She'd had to. Once her mother had gotten over it, she wasn't really allowed to even mention how much she missed him singing and playing his guitar for her. Teaching her how to fix the old bikes that would be brought by to the small garage he owned on the other side of town. She'd been forced to act like she was fine.
"But he never came back. And after an hour, I hopped on my bike and went on the route he usually took to the grocery store. The driver didn't even stop, didn't pull over to see if he was breathing, if he was alive. Just kept driving. I found him, laying there, wheezing out his last few breaths. I held him, and looked in his eyes one last time as the life faded from them." Why was she telling all this to a stranger? Major Berry wrapped his arms around her calling out to Rachel to come over.
The diminutive brunette sprinted across the lot, gently peeling the sobbing Santana from her uncle's arms when she reached them.
"Hey, shh. Tana you're okay. You're not alone, I'm right here. I'm right here baby." Rachel smiled sadly as her uncle handed her the keys to his convertible 70' Chevelle SS. grabbing them from Santana's pocket, she handed him the keys to the latina's bike, silently asking him to bring it back to his house when the gathering was over. She shuffled Santana along, still holding her, towards the car, pressing the button to unlock the doors and kissing Santana on the forehead as she sat her on the passenger side. She hopped in her side and started the car, pulling out a few moments later after a few bikes had passed.
It took her only fifteen minutes to get to her uncle's house, and she parked in the garage, bringing Santana with her through the door on the left which lead downstairs to the room that held more than half of her things. Her uncle had offered for her to live here in Columbus with him after her father's died six months ago, but she hadn't wanted to leave school, leave Lima, leave Santana.
She laid down on the bed on her back, pulling her best friend down to cuddle into her side. She brushed aside raven hair with her fingers, then placed a soft kiss on the other girl's forehead.
"Feel better Tana?" the girl nodded, pulling herself tighter against her only anchor.
"I...I'm just so tired. I hate pretending like I'm fine. Every time I try to talk to her about him it's like she's so over it. Like she didn't lose her husband, like I didn't lose my father, no matter how long it's been. I don't want to pretend anymore." Tears fell renewed, and Rachel wiped them away, kissing each cheek softly.
"You don't have to pretend with me okay? You don't have to pretend at all. I want you to come live with me. At least until you leave for school. When are you leaving?"
"I don't know. Before...before he died, I told my dad that I wanted to get my bachelors and then join the marines, but he asked me not to. It was the last thing he ever asked me to do. So...I...I guess I can just go to Cambridge in the fall. I mean...I...I only stayed here to save up some money and because I didn't want... I've always, even when you were unintentionally meant to me, I've always felt connected to you. And after I lost my dad, It was like beside the bikes and the car, you were all that I felt just as connected to. So I stayed here. You're leaving for Berklee...so there's no longer a reason for me to be here." Rachel reached down and tipped Santana's chin up, slowly connected their lips in the way she'd been waiting to do since she'd met the girl next to her.
Santana relished the sweetness of Rachel's lips. This new link between them had been brewing for a long time. she was glad to see it come to the surface. The two of them, they really were connected now, and if either of them had anything to do with it, it would stay that way for the rest of their lives.