A/N: This was written for QL Season 7, Round 3. Prompts are all listed in the bottom AN. Hope you enjoy.
Hidden Demons
Roxanne flicked her wrist. The flame that burst from the tip of her wand flickered and sputtered, making long shadows dance around her. It shrank and went out as she scowled. Again, she silently conjured, and again, it went out after a few seconds. She hadn't been able to get it to hold for more than ten seconds.
It was all the snow's fault.
It was the red and gold decorations Grandma Weasley had covered the house in. It was her Mum drinking too much. All Roxanne had wanted to do was to channel the dark rolling rage that kept threatening to overwhelm her. She dug her feet deeper into the pile of snow in front of her and pretended she could feel the numbness through the layers of warming and waterproof charms.
Maybe if she couldn't burn her anger away, freezing it would work instead.
Spending Christmas with the Weasley side of the family was always exhausting. They all seemed to be loud and everywhere, with toddlers, baby bumps and genuine, caring questions about emotions. Today had been particularly full-on. Roxanne had watched with seething jealousy as her twin Fred had escaped with his head in a book shortly after breakfast. Meanwhile, she had been asked to peel vegetables and make beds in case any of the dinner guests decided they would rather stay the night than go back to their own homes.
Roxanne knew her Mum and Aunt Ginny had been joking.
"Oh Roxy, do be careful. All those sheets in Gryffindor colours might rub off on you."
If it had been the first time, she would have had a quick comeback. If it had been the tenth time, Roxanne could have rolled her eyes. But it wasn't; in fact, she had lost count years ago how many comments she got about being a Slytherin.
"Of course George's daughter was the one to go against tradition."
"Did you ask the hat?"
"Is this your teen rebellion starting early?"Roxanne had lashed out, fists clenched so tight the crisp sheets she was holding creased. Words had tumbled out of her mouth, singeing the air and shading over old scars. She had put herself in quarantine after that, sure that she would contaminate anything within reach. She was so hot with anger she had expected the snow to melt around her. That's what had led her to focus on wandlessly casting a flame, to burn off some of what she was feeling.
Roxanne had always felt her emotions too deeply in her opinion. She had learnt, taught by askance looks and awkward laughter, that her intensity was rarely appreciated, never mind reciprocated. The way she had adapted was by not mentioning her emotions at all. They clamoured for attention inside of her, and whilst Roxanne worked so hard to ignore them, recently the dam holding everything back had been cracking.
The next flame she cast held for longer, and Roxanne exhaled, making it tremble, then go out. The bright orange left an imprint on her eyelids that she blinked away slowly.
She still had control.
Her demons had not won yet.
All Roxanne kept remembering was the way her Mum and Aunt had looked. The shock and indignation on their faces stung, because how could what she had said possibly surprise them? Did they not realise how alone she felt? How much of a misfit? Had they not noticed over the years, the shadows in her eyes or the barbed wire woven into her soul.
The Slytherins didn't accept her, Fred was always a thousand miles away, wrapped in paragraphs and metaphors, and Roxanne was left constantly fashioning herself new masks.
Footsteps made her tense.
She wasn't ready to leave. She wasn't ready for the conversations—the stale ones about her behaviour she'd heard many times before.
"Hey. Mind if I join you?"
It took Roxanne a few moments of staring up at the man who'd appeared to place him. She and Teddy Lupin only really met at family gatherings or holidays. He didn't go to Hogwarts or any other magical school. Roxanne had always been jealous of how he'd been raised by his Grandma. Instead of feet of parchment and house points to worry about, Teddy spent his life travelling the world after Andromeda decided she didn't want to spend the rest of her life in the same country she'd lost almost all of her family in.
"Sure," Roxanne nodded, a little awkwardly. She was sitting in the snow with her back to the old wendy house, in the dark. Teddy didn't seem too bothered, just sat down by her with a soft sigh.
"Thanks for letting me bother you. I just really needed some peace and quiet. I didn't expect to find anyone else out here, to be honest, but I saw a light."
"Yeah, I was… just trying to cool off. So I was casting fire." Roxanne pulled a face as she said it.
Teddy laughed and she felt herself relax ever so slightly.
"In the snow, no less," he said with the flash of a toothy smile. "That's very poetic. I'm not great at conjuring flames myself; I'm better at potions."
"My Potions Master is counting down the days until after our OWLs; I'm a menace in the classroom."
Teddy didn't ask about why she was out in the snow, but eventually, Roxanne found herself venting. Teddy was an easy listener, and she found years of unspoken issues rushing out as the dam finally broke.
Afterwards, the silence rang in her ears. Then Teddy took a breath.
"You need to tell them how you feel," he said gently. "But more importantly than that, Roxy, you need to not be embarrassed about who you are. So you're a Weasley and a Slytherin, so what? The only way someone's words can have the power to upset you is if you let them. Don't give them the power."
The first thing that Roxanne wanted to say was 'easier said than done'. Something in Teddy's warm gaze made her think he knew what was going through her mind. To her surprise, she didn't feel the familiar heat of anger. There was nothing to suppress.
Teddy made her feel heard. It was an unusual feeling, but instead of pushing it down, for the first time in a long time, Roxanne let it flow through her. Her hot rage was gone. Talking to Teddy made breathing feel easier and she felt like she could think clearer.
"Thanks, Teddy. Thanks for listening too. Now, we should probably go back inside before someone sends out a search party."
Teddy pulled her to her feet and Roxanne led him back to the house with a lot less fear than she had had before. She and her demons were done hiding now.
A/N: Prompts used - Chaser 3: Write about a character who makes a friend that makes them peaceful (This can include feeling peaceful or curbing their violent tendencies). Optional Prompts: (song) Demons - Imagine Dragons, (object) snow, (quote) "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt.