A/N: And another NFA ficlet...that's not really a ficlet since it's way over the 1000 word limit. This was requested as a Tim and Jimmy friendship with the prompt of "more than geeks." If you haven't ever seen The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged), you should. Hilarious. I'm just saying...
Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS and any recognizable dialogue belongs to the Reduced Shakespeare Company. I am not making any money off this story.
The Play's the Thing!
by Enthusiastic Fish
There was no one else in the bullpen. Perfect. Jimmy took a deep breath and walked over to Tim's desk.
"Hey, McGee."
"Hey, Jimmy," Tim said. He didn't look up, but his tone wasn't unfriendly. Merely distracted.
"McGee, can I ask a favor? It's kind of a big one."
"Go ahead." Still focused on whatever he was doing.
"Do you know anything about acting?"
The fingers which flew across the keyboard stuttered to a stop and Tim looked up.
"What?"
"Do you know anything about acting?"
"Uh...no. I don't act...never have. I never liked having that many people staring at me."
"Oh. Um...then...nevermind." Jimmy started to back away.
"Wait. What were you going to ask?"
"I was going to ask if you'd be in a play."
"What?" Tim let out a bark of surprised laughter. "You must be desperate if you're asking me. I'm not an actor. I'm a geek."
Jimmy nodded in agreement. "Me, too."
"...and you're in a play?"
"Yeah."
"...and you want me to be in it?"
"Yeah."
"Why me?"
Jimmy took another deep breath. It wouldn't do to lie and try to flatter Tim into thinking he'd been first in Jimmy's mind. "You're right. I'm desperate. I'm a part of this community theatre thing. I have been for years. I don't usually have to be on stage, but we've had a bunch of people pull out unexpectedly...and we just don't have enough understudies...or...any. We have lots of backstage people and very few who want to be on stage."
"What play are you doing?"
Jimmy cleared his throat. "It's...a comedy. A parody actually."
"What play?"
"The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged)."
Tim stood up. "Wait. I've heard of that. There are only three actors in it!"
"Yeah."
"Just how many people have pulled out?"
"Well...you see..." Jimmy sighed and let out the whole story. "We have a couple of people who are really good and they had decided they were going to play the lead roles in the next play we did. We've been doing a lot of classic plays, but the director decided that we'd shake things up a bit and try something new. They were offended even if the play has been really popular. They refused to do it and led a kind of revolt. When that didn't work, they said they wouldn't be a part of it and left. So...we were left with the people who only want to be backstage and the ones who can't remember their lines and the ones who are just doing it because their parents are forcing them to come."
"So...you're playing one of the roles?"
"Yeah. The director is playing another and we need one more. We've already booked the theater and put out the money for tickets and advertising. If we cancel we won't have enough money to keep running."
Tim blinked at him and Jimmy was certain he was going to say no.
"You'll be able to learn the lines, McGee! It doesn't have to be professional grade...in fact, based on what the rest of us are like, it would be better if you're not."
"Well...there's no guarantee that I could come to every practice. I don't get to leave in the evenings just because of a rehearsal."
"That's okay! Any time you can...can spare. We have practices on weekends mostly, but some evenings, too. Please?"
"You're going to regret this, Jimmy. I probably will, too...but okay."
Jimmy grinned. "Thanks! Here's the schedule and the script and the part you'll be playing is marked. Feel free to improvise if you want to." Then, he turned and walked away before Tim could change his mind. As he waited for the elevator, he could hear Tim reading.
"Well, this isn't very funny," he said in a low voice. "I could be..." Then, he chuckled. "Okay, that's funny."
Jimmy got on the elevator and, as soon as the doors closed, breathed a big sigh of relief. The show must go on...
x.x.x.x.x.x.x
"Oh, man, Jimmy. I'm making a big mistake, here," Tim said, tugging at his pantaloons. It was the fourth week of rehearsals and they were practicing in costume. "I'm totally going to forget my lines. I'm going to stand out there and look stupid...not funny!"
Jimmy laughed. "You'll be fine. You were great last time! I really thought you were going to kill Alan when he ran out."
Tim grimaced. "I was. If he tells me to project one more time, I really will strangle him."
"It's great! You should do that! He'd think it was hilarious."
Alan came back from talking with one of the prop people.
"Okay, let's get going with Hamlet...and remember to project, Tim!"
Tim gritted his teeth, pulled up his pantaloons and took a deep breath and walked out to center stage.
"Uh...Bob! Could I get some mood lighting please? ...to help me set the scene for what is...the greatest play...ever written in the English language. Hamlet! The tragedy of the prince of Denmark! The place? Denmark. The time? A...very long time ago."
"Project! They won't be able to hear you!"
Tim turned around. "Alan, so help me, if you say that one more time, I am going to stab you in the throat with my epee!"
Alan came running out from back stage. "Now, that was projecting, Tim! That was the mark of an actor!" He grabbed Tim by the shoulders and shook him violently, with a great big grin. "Yes! Yes! Yes! Now, you're Hamlet!"
Tim stared at him and then at Jimmy who just started laughing.
"...but I'm only supposed to be Hamlet for half the play. What about the rest?"
"Exactly!" Alan shouted and began to dance around the stage. "Now, we're a troupe! Now, we'll show those prima donnas that we can do a play! Ha!"
"Now, are you ready to be Hamlet, Tim?" Jimmy asked, grinning.
Tim looked at Jimmy and then at Alan who was still giddily dancing around the stage in celebration. Since he was a balding, slightly-overweight man, it was a disturbing sight.
"Alan, if you'll stop dancing, I'll do anything."
Alan stopped dancing and ran over and hugged Tim tightly. "Tim, I love you."
"...please, don't."
"Jimmy?" Alan said.
"Yeah, Alan?"
"Let's do a play!"
He put out his hand. Jimmy put his own on top enthusiastically. Tim paused for a second and then added his on top of the other two.
"Let's do a play."
x.x.x.x.x.x.x
Opening night came, and Tim was terribly nervous. The first night on stage, he was so nervous he thought he'd vomit...and that led to his first improvisation.
"'Alan, you seem to have this bizarre notion that all of Shakespeare's tragic heroines wear these ugly wigs and vomit on people before they die!'" Jimmy said, arms akimbo.
"'It's an interpretation.'"
Tim shook his head. "'Barfing is not an interpretation' ...although I think I might do it for real. ...so get up here before I embarrass us all."
Alan gave him a brief glance but Tim found that saying the words made him feel a lot less nervous and the rest of the play went relatively smoothly.
x.x.x.x.x.x.x
By the closing night, Tim felt pretty good and Jimmy was shining, particularly during the section where Tim chased Alan off the stage. He improvised with the best of them during the stalling scenes.
"Tim is usually lots faster than Alan. I'm sure they'll be back in...just a minute." He rocked back and forth nervously...and then began juggling the various props...and then began to do an autopsy on one of the stuffed bodies they kept backstage.
They both had lots of fun, so much so that while they were on stage, they forgot what they did during the day. They forgot they were geeks ...They were actors.
"It is I, Omelette, the Cheese Danish!" Tim cried dramatically.
The audience applauded enthusiastically for them. It was exhausting and heady.
"We shall do it...backwards!" Jimmy shouted.
Tim and Alan came out and glared.
"I...I got caught up in the moment," Jimmy said sheepishly.
Tim picked up the skull. "This could be you," he said, pointing to it.
The three of them looked at each other and then sulkingly got their props again and lay down on the stage.
"Oh, be sure to listen for the Satanic messages," Tim said.
They launched into the backwards version of Hamlet, each one of them struggling to remember everything they had to say, even though there were only brief moments when it mattered. Finally...
They stood together in a line.
"You thank!"
And they bowed.
The audience gave them a standing ovation.
It was wonderful.
x.x.x.x.x.x.x
After the play was done and they had changed, Tim and Jimmy went back out onto the stage. The theater was empty. Alan was in back shouting at props people and in general enjoying himself.
"So?" Jimmy asked.
"What?" Tim asked, dangling his legs over the edge of the stage.
"How was it? Did you have fun?"
"I never thought I would...but yeah, I did. Thanks for asking me, Jimmy."
"Thanks for doing it, Tim. You were great."
"So were you. I wish I could have watched more of your autopsy."
"You think Ducky approved?"
Tim laughed. "Well, they said they'd be waiting for us. I'm sure he'll tell you."
"You ready to go?"
Tim stood up and started out...but then walked to center stage and looked at Jimmy with a grin on his face.
"I don't think I've ever done something so foreign to who I am...and I'm not sure I ever had more fun than I did doing this."
Jimmy walked over and joined him, looking out over the empty theater.
"Me, neither."
"It nice not being a geek for a while."
"Yeah, instead you were a drama nerd."
Tim laughed and the two of them walked out together to join their friends in a celebration of their final performance.
FINIS!