A/N: I have no idea what this is. I am slightly feverish at the moment, which may at least partially explain this thoroughly odd oneshot. I may modify and repost it later, but I thought I'd see what the response to it would be in its original (but, I promise, proofread) state. George x Alicia in a somewhat roundabout way.

Katie must be insane.

It was the simplest and shortest explanation. In four words it summed up the entire afternoon. Perfect. Fool proof.

Except for the part with the fireworks. And George. And the disappearing four poster.

But besides that it was absolutely perfect.

So Alicia Spinnet nodded to herself in a self-satisfied way, and then, suddenly, the day caught up with her and she sank gingerly onto a four poster, hoping desperately that this one wouldn't disappear too. It seemed comfortingly solid, so she leaned back against the headboard and considered.

"Did you ever notice," she inquired reflectively and philosophically of a crack in the footboard, "that there's only one letter of difference between 'twin' and 'twit'?"

The footboard didn't seem inclined to reply. Alicia shrugged and continued her monologue.

"I mean, that can't be a coincidence right? Right."

Alicia sighed and lay there for a moment, taking in the footboard's silence. "And then there was the bit where Katie said he was in love with me. Clearly, someone spiked the pumpkin juice with something fishy this morning." The footboard was still silent, but Alicia was sure it was the stoic silence of agreement and sympathy.

"Talking to the four poster Alicia? That normally isn't a good sign." Katie Bell had entered the room and was leaning against the door frame, surveying Alicia in a mock-concerned fashion.

"It's also normally a bad sign when a bed disappears entirely Katie. But of course, that's never going to happen so I suppose we'll never have to worry about that."

"Alicia, George just has a…psychological need to pull pranks on you."

"This is a new one." Alicia said, sinking further into the pillows and staring glumly at the footboard. "Now she wants to psychologically analyze him. Well, I hope she hurries." She added as a pointed afterthought.

"Look," Katie said, sitting down on the edge of the bed and blocking Alicia's view of her new footboard friend, "he really likes you, and --"

"See, you're getting off to a bad start already." Alicia explained in a business-like tone. "Delusional assumptions formulated in 1st year under the influence of too many chocolate frogs and a couple hundred cheesy romance novels are a bad basis for a psychological analysis."

"Never mind," Katie said nonchalantly, "that you wished my delusional assumptions were true in first year."

"First years," Alicia said, "are delusional themselves. I'll admit that included me."

"So just because he's good looking and sweet and charming and funny --"

"Hey! Are you hitting on George?" Alicia asked, sitting straight up, frowning.

"Aha! See?" Katie said triumphantly, a smirk claiming her face.

Completely befuddled Alicia sank back into the pillows. "No. I don't see. Mostly because your mind is following a track known only to you."

"That was textbook jealousy!" Katie announced, beaming.

"She's insane. She really is." Alicia said, once again addressing herself to the bedpost, which was only half-hidden behind Katie's back.

"Moving on and pretending you're not in complete denial," Katie said, ignoring Alicia's sad shakes of the head in the direction of the footboard and her mouthing of the words, 'certifiably insane', "let's get to the point."

"There's a point?"

"Hush. You're interrupting. That's bad manners."

"Bad manners?" Alicia asked incredulously and hopelessly of the footboard. "After everything else that's happened today…"

"Every single one of those things that happened today points to the fact that George is in love with you." Katie cut in smoothly. "He wanted to impress you, so he set off the fireworks, right? I mean, it can hardly be coincidence that they were right outside your window and spelled out your name."

"Trying to embarrass me." Alicia said promptly, then turned to the footboard.

"Trying to tell you he loves you in typical Weasley twin fashion." Katie corrected. "Honestly, for someone who's supposed to be so bright you're ignoring some really obvious displays of true love."

"True love is fireworks outside my window at 2:00 in the morning?" Alicia asked the footboard in disbelief.

"I'll admit it was twisted, but you have to admit there was obviously a lot of effort there." Katie said.

"Well sure, there was effort but --" On realizing she was conceding a point to her crazed friend, Alicia snapped her mouth shut and shook her head.

"She can explain away the fireworks." Alicia announced to the footboard. "But she can't explain away the four poster. It can't be done."

"How about this?" Katie suggested helpfully. "George's mind was running along an early morning track, since he set off the fireworks so early, and so by obvious association he thought of sleep, and from there the sleep that he had interrupted. So then he figured that you wouldn't mind if he made your bed vanish, since you would already be awake --"

"Try again." Alicia advised.

"Alright. Let's see…Um, George doesn't like his own four poster, since it is of an inferior quality compared to the other four posters contained within the walls of Hogwarts, and the mattress is lumpy, so out of resentment he decided to vanish your four poster."

"Points for creativity, but no." Alicia informed her.

"Tough crowd." Katie told the footboard, then realized she was talking to a bed and made one last attempt.

"Hang on…Okay, I got it. George is madly in love with you and decided to vanish your bed because --" She broke off at the warning look in Alicia's eyes and finished with a lame, "just because."

Alicia shook her head again, and silence fell between Alicia, Katie, and the footboard.

"Look, Alicia, just think about him. Or, if that makes you want to hurt something, think about the fact that you know you'll forgive him eventually, so you could save us all a lot of time and trouble by just doing it now."

Alicia's mouth opened. It closed again. It opened. It closed. Even the footboard was stiff with anticipation. Silently, Alicia reviewed the events of the day in her mind. The "wake-up call" at 2:00 AM. The screaming at a certain red-headed twit (there had been a lot of that). Katie telling her that the aforementioned red-headed twin was in love with her. The long day at school involving Quidditch practice, a late Potions essay, almost choking on a piece of chicken at dinner, and finally, her vanishing four poster. Then she'd gone over to Katie's bed and sunk onto that, and started talking to the footboard.

Talking to the footboard.

Alicia deflated with a sigh.

When you were driven into talking to footboard over a guy, you knew you were in love.

A/N: I said it once and I'll say it again -- I'm aware that this oneshot is a bit odd. Maybe its secretly just the chapter of a story and I haven't realized it yet? I don't know. Regardless, please let me know what you thought of it. Constructive crit. is always welcomed.