I own neither the show(s) or the characters, of course.

xxx

It all starts when Ray decides to introduce Jax to one of his favorite TV shows.

"Really, it's not so different from us," he's telling the kid as Sara listens absently from where she leans against the rec room table, having paused to watch a few moments of "Out of Gas." (Stein is also in a corner, pretending to read a book.) "Wildly different bunch of people on a spaceship. Well, a time ship, in our case, but …"

"All right, all right, I get it. I suppose there are similarities." They all watch in silence for a few minutes. "So, I suppose Rip is our Mal, then. Captain, and he's even got the coat …"

"Rip is most definitely not Mal," Snart drawls as he enters the room. "Man doesn't have the nerve."

Sara looks up, smirking at the prospect of verbal swordplay. "So who is?" He gives her a speaking glance. "You? Seriously?"

"You have a better suggestion?"

"Well, I suppose you're the right combination of crook and 'captain' and a strange sort of warped sense of honor."

"So, who am I?" Jax wonders.

"Kaylee."

"Ah, man!"

"You're the youngest and you've fixed the ship at least once. Close enough."

"Then who is Rip?"

"Hmmm. Simon."

Jax and Ray look skeptical, but Sara is nodding. "All 'you people are all crazy!' I can see it."

"And me?" Stein turns a page in his book and continues to pretend he isn't watching.

"Book," Sara volunteers. "You're the oldest and you can kick ass when it comes down to it."

Stein is pleased, although not quite as much when Jax adds, "And everyone makes fun of your hair, Gray."

"The hell are you people doing?" Mick wanders into the room at this point. "Hey. Firefly."

"Jayne," the rest of the room choruses. (He ignores them and takes Jax's popcorn.)

Sara is smiling. "Dibs on Zoe."

"Kendra's Zoe," Snart informs her. "You're … a combination of River and Inara."

"The lunatic and the courtesan? Gee, thanks!" She crosses the room now to trade insults with him and everyone else in the room rolls their eyes.

"The most dangerous thing on the ship, and the most beautiful," he adds. She eyes him as if undecided if it's compliment or jibe.

Ray isn't sure whether to be pleased or annoyed he's sort of left as the equivalent of Wash. "He's cool, I guess. And … hey, Zoe. But I don't even own a Hawaiian shirt."

"At least you're not the perky mechanic!"

Stein chimes in, then, and it goes downhill from there.

Snart, observing all this, shakes his head. "Big damn heroes," he mutters under his breath.

Sara nudges him with her shoulder, smiling. "Ain't we just."