Disclaimer: Don't own ER. Spoilerish for Season finale. After seeing the Ray/Neela clips from the finale I had to write something, and this is it. Came to me at 3.30 this morning. Neela's thoughts in the cab and at the rally. Reviews please.

"Hallelujah"

Well I heard there was a secret chord
that David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do ya?
Well it goes like this :
The fourth, the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah...

She alone remembered what day yesterday was. She'd woken with a tightness in her chest that made it difficult to breath, icy fingers of steel wrapped around her lungs. That feeling hadn't faded all day and today, after seeing Ray, she knew it never would.

Well your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya
And she tied you to her kitchen chair
She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah...

She didn't know when she'd stopped herself grieving for Michael, for the first few months she had, she'd pushed Ray away and grieved. Then she was pushing Ray away and pushing the grief away too. It was still there inside her, welling up, threatening to overpower her if she let it. She didn't let it. But now, now it was grief for Michael and for Ray that consumed her, took control of her senses so she didn't know what she was doing.

(Yeah but) Baby I've been here before
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor, (You know)
I used to live alone before I knew ya
And I've seen your flag on the marble arch
and love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah...

When she got out of the cab her intention had been to get round the rally, and get another one on the other side back to County. She had wanted to speak to Lucian about time off to help Ray. He would probably push her away, she deserved that, but she was going to be there for him whatever he said, just like he was always there for her. But she found herself in the midst of the rally. The words finally seeping through the fog of her grief struck mind, they had a certain resonance, her feelings on the whole situation widely known to anyone who knew her, and perhaps today, on the day after the anniversary of Michael's death, it made sense to be here, to be a part of this.

Well there was a time when you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show that to me do ya
But remember when I moved in you
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah

Hallelujah...

She saw a familiar face in the crowd and offered a distant smile. Someone else who shared her feelings on this subject, they'd discussed it long into many a night when they were together. Perhaps that was the main thing that had drawn her to him, that and his freedom from the history of Michael. He was never Ray though.

Maybe there's a God above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya
And it's not a cry that you hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelu...

As it all kicked off it wasn't Tony's name she was screaming inside. And she didn't hear his cries as he tried to reach her, all she head was Rays words 'I even fell in love with you'. And as she fell all she could see was his beautiful face.

Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelu...
Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah

And as everything faded to darkness all she saw was that beautiful face.

Hallellllluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuujjjaahhhh...Hallelllluuuuuujjaaaaaaaaaahhhh