There was a soft tap on the door.

The figure who had been standing at the kitchen sink froze. She heard the tap again. Molly Weasley scurried silently to her door. "Who's there?" she asked nervously, but there was a trace her same old demanding tone.

"Me," whispered a tired voice.

"Me who?"

"Me Tonks."

"What's your deepest secret?"

There was a deep sigh, and she said, "I have a teddy bear named Curly in my room that my first boyfriend gave me when I was twelve."

Molly opened the door. "Tonks, dear," she said gently, "come in. I'll make some tea," she said in a motherly voice. She watched as Tonks walked in and offered a small smile. "That's more like it," Molly said, smiling. "You know, I'm glad you came. I hate to think of you all alone in that flat of yours in theses dark times."

"Well," suggested Tonks lamely, "I still have Curly."

"Sit down, love. We'll talk." Molly walked over and put the kettle on, then sat down across from Tonks. "Now," she said. "Tell me how you've been."

"The same," said Tonks, brushing a stray strand of her mousy-brown hair behind her ears. "I'm tired, annoyed, restless…. And I can't get rid of this damn hair," she said, tugging at it. "And on top of it all, he's avoiding me."

"Remus?"

Tonks nodded as the kettle whistled. Molly stood up and fixed the tea, handed a mug to Tonks, and sat down again. "Go on, love."

"Ever since he came over that time, I've seen him, I've talked to him, I guess… but it's not the same. He's avoiding the subject. He's talked about the weather, the Order, the ministry, but it's like it's strictly business. "

Molly nodded. "He'll come around, Tonks, he will. But you can't dwell on it. Look at you! Where's your spark? You've even been having trouble with your metamorphosing!"

"I know," she said and looked down at her dirty black converse. She could remember the night when Remus had visited her. It might have been three weeks ago, or maybe four. She had lost count.

Tonks had been lacing up her new converse. She loved them— they were plain black… except there was pink flames going up the sides. Wicked, no?

There was a gentle tap on the door in her small, messy flat located in London.

"Tonks?" came the muffled voice of Remus Lupin

She ran over to the door. "That night I walked in on you and Sirius in the kitchen…what was it that he said to you?" she asked in a hurry.

There was a low, soft chuckle. "I haven't even told you who I am, yet," he said. Yes, there was no doubt it was Remus.

Tonks rolled her eyes. "Who are you?"

"Remus Lupin," he said.

She could detect a smile in his voice.

"Ok, now answer the question."

Remus sighed. "What do you mean, no body fancied you in school?"

"And?"

"He said, 'you were adorable.'"

Tonks cracked up, and opened the door. For some reason, the idea of Sirius calling Remus adorable seemed hilarious.

"I wish you'd stop making me re-live that," Remus said as he walked into her flat.

"I think it's cute," she said, smiling. "So, what's up?"

"Well," Remus began, "Dumbledore asked me to pass the message along that we're not using Grimmauld Place anymore."

"The whole Bellatrix thing?"

"Yeah," said Remus, sighing. "But it may be temporary. We won't know until Dumbledore sees Harry, so…."

"Here, sit down," Tonks said.

Remus took off his coat, tattered and worn, but clean, and sat next to Tonks on the sofa. "I can't stay for long," he said.

A moment of silence followed.

"Fancy a drink?" she asked, standing up.

"Actually, no thank you. I have to go, soon. And you know what they say about drinking and apparating."

Tonks smiled. "Oh go in." She walked over to her refrigerator. "Let's see, I've got water… butterbeer… um…. How about a butterbeer? I had Firewhiskey, but I'm afraid I used it up." She grinned.

Remus laughed. "Sure," he said. He watched Tonks as she took out two glasses from one of the cupboards. "You know what?" he said. "You're very bubbly."

She smiled. "Only when you're around." She sat back down, placing the two butterbeer-filled glasses on the coffee table in front of her. "So, how have you been?" she asked. "I haven't seen you ages."

"I've been tired, as usual," he said. "I've been up to Order stuff. Working underground."

"Greyback?"

"Bingo."

Tonks sighed and leaned back against the sofa. "So. No more Grimm Old Place until Dumbledore contacts Harry." She was half talking to herself. "Bella had better not her hands on any of Sirius's stuff,' Tonks said coldly. "I really don't like her. It's all my fault. I should've finished her off…." She felt a tear trickle down her face. She went to wipe it away, but Remus got there first. She looked up at him.

"It's not your fault." He pulled her into a hug. "Everybody blames themselves when we lose someone. I blame myself. Harry think it's his fault. So does Dumbledore."

"But I feel so rotten," she whispered. She pulled herself away from him and looked into his eyes. Slowly, nervously, she drew herself closer, and kissed him.

Remus tensed.

Tonks froze in mid-kiss, mortified. But to her surprise, and against Remus's better judgment, he kissed her back

Tonks wrapped her arms around Remus, who kissed her, more fervently this time. It was not an innocent kiss.

However, Remus kept seeing the monster he would become in a few weeks' time. The tattered overcoat on the chair, the age gap….

"No," he whispered into Tonks's mouth. "No, I…. I can't, Tonks. I'm sorry," he said. Tonks's chest was heaving and Remus was sure she could hear the loud thump of his heartbeat. "I have to go."

"No, please!" she said, sounding frantic. She stood up and faced him. "Please! I'm sorry, I shouldn't have… but, you kissed me back, you know!" Tonks looked into his eyes and whispered, "don't go."

Remus had an urge to kiss her hard on the lips again. But he fought it. "Tonks, I really need to go. We'll talk about this later." With his final words being spoken, he left.

Tonks continued to sip her tea as she reminisced. There was another tap on Molly's door. At the door was Dumbledore and Harry. "Wotcher, Harry," Tonks said. "Look, thanks for the tea and sympathy, Molly, but I have to be going."

"Oh, please don't leave on my account, Tonks," Dumbledore said.

"No, It's fine," Tonks replied, and walked out the door.

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A few days later, Tonks had gone to Molly's again for lunch, and left. Later that night, She had the horrible realization that she had lost her wand. Tonks tore her entire flat apart before she decided that she simply must have left it at Molly's house. She apparated on the spot to Molly's front door and banged it with her fist.

"Molly?" Tonks said.

There was a sound of hurried footsteps. "Who is it?" asked Molly.

"Tonks," she said.

"What's your secret?"

"Currently, that I have lost my wand," Tonks said. "But I also have a teddy named Curly."

Molly opened the door.

"Molly, my wand—" Tonks began, but she froze. Across the room for her was Remus, looking her dead in the eye.

"I have it," he said."

"Y'what?"

"I have your wand," he said. "It was on the ground when I walked in," he explained.

"Oh. Thanks."

Remus handed the wand to her. "Tonks, do you want to go outside?"

"No," she said flatly. "Molly, I'm sorry," she said, turning to Mrs.. Weasley. "I totally forgot you were having guests over. Well, I'll go."

"Tonks, I have a wild venomous tentacula out in my garden," Mrs.. Weasley said conversationally. "It's quite interesting. I think you'd like to see it. Perhaps Remus could show you?" she said with a flint in her eye.

"I have no more interest in wild venomous tentaculas," she said. "I don't want to see it."

Molly smiled, understanding the hidden meaning of her statement. "I think you're hiding it from yourself. Please just have a look at it," she said.

Tonks nodded in defeat. "Come on," she gestured to Remus, next to her.

"Tonks," said Remus. 'We need to talk. Are you trying to avoid me?"

'Oho, hark who's taking," she said lamely, walking around Molly's garden where there was certainly no venomous tentacula.

Remus sighed. "Ok,. I'm sorry. It's just been a little awkward. But I miss having you as a friend. Can't we agree not to avoid each other? Can we put al this behind us?"

"No," whispered Tonks. "We can't."

"Tonks, why not? I'm sick of repeating myself—"

"Then DON'T! I'M SICK OF HEARING IT! Why do I have to forget what happened between us? Why? I mean— It's just— you kissed me back, Remus!" Tonks exclaimed.

Remus seemed rather uncomfortable. "I know, I …. I really shouldn't have—"

"But you did," Tonks said. "That's the problem."

He sighed. "I really wish you would forget that it happened, Tonks. You deserve better than me."

"Remus, if I'm with someone else, I'll be miserable. Is that what you want?"

"Of course not," said Remus. "I just want you to be safe." He turned, then, and left Tonks to stand alone in the garden.

A/N: a little short compared to some of my other stuff, but his was originaklly just a really long one-shot. its finished; don't worry, so it should be up pretty fast. all i have to do is type it up. read and review! i know its so annoyuing when we ask you this, but it means a lot to us!