Complications
a Batman: The Animated Series-based fan fiction
by: Joycelyn Solo
Author's note: This
is based on the characters as they appeared on Batman: The Animated
Series. It may not be all that good, but I laughed out loud a
lot while I was writing this first chapter. I don't know if or
where the story will go, but if I get enough positive feedback
I'll see what I can do.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything and, as such, I am not
making any money. Everything belongs to someone else (who I'd
list, but I can't keep all the DC-ownership straight).
Chapter One
"Guys, I've got a serious problem."
Both Bruce and Alfred looked up from their sections of the newspaper and eyed Dick as he entered the breakfast room.
"What's up, Dick?" Bruce asked with an upbeat invitation to join them. He was in a particularly content mood. The sun was shining, Alfred had remembered to sprinkle cheese on top of his scrambled eggs, and Garfield had been particularly amusing. The chance to help his son out with an important problem would be nothing short of making him feel...super.
Dick took a seat and reached for a blueberry muffin. "Well, there's this girl..."
Bruce jumped in his seat, unsettling his eggs from the plate. "Uh, Alfred, can you handle this?" He had gone visibly pale. "I've just remembered an appointment at WayneTech."
"Bruce, it's Sunday." Dick interrupted him. "And besides, I think this may be too big for even Alfred to handle alone."
Bruce settled back in his chair, in obvious discomfort with the brewing topic. However, his son was in trouble and needed his help. Swallowing visibly, he prompted, "Alright, Dick, there's this girl..."
"Actually, there're two girls."
This time both Alfred and Bruce jumped from their chairs.
"I'll drive you to WayneTech, sir." Alfred announced, his orange juice sloshing in his attempt to leave the table.
"Sit down, both of you." Dick commanded, bracing his hands on the table and leaning forward in, what he hoped to be, an intimidating stance for them to take him seriously. "It isn't often we get to brainstorm about something none-crime related. I'd think you'd jump at the chance for the three of us to tackle a new problem."
Bruce protested. "But, crime we know."
"Women, we do not." Alfred finished.
Dick threw his hands up. "I can't believe you two."
Seeing the dismay evident on his surrogate son's face, Bruce conceded and resumed his chair again. Alfred, though wary, followed suit.
"That's better." Dick said, sitting down again. "Now then, there are these two girls. And I like them both. A lot. But it's even more complicated than that."
"More complicated than having crushes on two girls?" Bruce inquired.
"I've broken two very important rules." He stared at Bruce. "I broke the number one rule of crimefighting never fall for anyone else in spandex."
Alfred took a moment to clear his throat and also stare at Bruce. Everyone reflected for a moment on the Catwoman fiasco.
"But I also broke the number one rule of friendship never fall for your best friend."
"I'm guessing Batgirl and Barb Gordon are the two girls." Bruce stated. There was something peculiar in his voice, Alfred noted, but ignored it.
"Master Richard," the loyal butler began, "what exactly is it that you feel for these young ladies?"
Dick looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well, Barbara is really smart and funny and I feel like I can talk to her about anything. But I can't talk to her about being Robin. Batgirl and Robin have a lot in common, like the whole double life thing. Plus," he added, waggling his eyebrows, "she sure knows how to fill out a Batsuit."
Alfred cleared his throat at that.
Dick grinned at the butler.
Bruce rolled his eyes at both of them.
"What exactly is it you are looking for from us, Master Richard?"
Dick's eyebrows rose hopefully. "Some parental guidance? Grade A dating advice?"
"Can you give us some time to think about your dilemma, son?" Bruce asked, that strange sound still present in his voice.
Dick looked at his watch. "Yeah, sure. I'm supposed to meet Barbara at the library anyway." He grabbed his backpack from the chair and headed out the door, waving at both of them.
Shaking his head at the young master's predicament, Alfred began to clear the dishes. Returning from the kitchen, he noticed something rather unusual at the table.
Master Bruce.
Seated at the breakfast table.
With his eggs cold and forgotten in front of him.
And a ridiculous grin across his chiseled features.
"Sir, are you alright?"
Bruce looked at Alfred and held up a hand, tilting his head as though listening for something. Alfred, too, listened and didn't hear anything out of the ordinary. Then he heard the front gate chime in confirmation of Dick's car leaving the property.
"I'm perfectly fine, Alfred."
"Then why are you smiling like that? At all? Are you mocking Master Dick's dilemma?"
"Far from it, Alfred. I feel more sorry for him than you can imagine." He stood and placed a familiar hand on the trusted friend's shoulder. "I happen to know that his problem is even more complicated than he thought."
"And how is that, sir?"
"His affection for Barbara and his lust for Batgirl is directed at the same girl."
Alfred's jaw dropped in very uncharacteristic fashion. "You're not saying..."
"That's exactly what I'm saying. Barbara and Batgirl are the same woman and Dick's got a crush on both of them!"
~~~~~~~
Author's note: Well? What did you think? Will Dick be taunted by his feelings? Will Barbara recipricate feelings for at least one of Dick's identities?
Tune in next time. Same Bat-Fiction Site. Same Batty Fan-Fic Author.