Never
I never expected my little sister's name to be the one chosen from the reaping bowl that day. One of thousands of girl's names that could have been pulled from the lottery, and somehow Effie Trinket's perfectly manicured fingers found hers. I also never expected to volunteer for her. The words formed in my mouth before I even realized what I was doing. It just seemed so natural to protect her from such a horrible game. But what I also never expected was to for Gale to kiss me in the woods earlier that morning.
It happened sometime between eating the blackberries and bread smeared with goat cheese while ranting about the Capitol and walking back towards the district to make ourselves presentable for that afternoon's reaping. Matter of fact, it happened right after Gale had brought up the idea of us running away together, disappearing into the woods and never returning. Me and him, together, alone for the rest of our lives.
I was desperately trying to sort out what his proposition of running away together meant, because it would be all too easy for anyone who didn't know us better—who didn't know that we'd been friends for years, that we relied on each other as hunting companions and nothing more—to read into it as something else. Something romantic. But then he cupped my chin in his hands and kissed me right there on the hillside. There was a fluttering in my stomach as I tried to decipher the intense wave of emotions that surged through my body.
And then he kept walking like nothing had happened at all.
We parted ways after leaving the Hob and that was that. I cleaned myself up and was standing in the crowds of children only one hour later, finding Gale's assuring nod among the group of 18-year-old boys. My eyes shifted down to my hands instantly as they played with the tie on the skirt of my blue dress. The next thing I knew, Prim's name was being read and I was taking her place.
They came to visit me in the Justice Building—my mother, Prim, Madge, even the baker. Then Gale was entering the room and I was in his arms in half of a second trying to settle myself. Trying not to think about how this was the last moment we would ever spend together. And in that instant, when he pushed me at arm's length and started going on about finding a bow in the arena, something overcame me and my mouth was crashing down onto his.
He only stumbled back a step before the fury of my kiss was returned. His hands were everywhere—in my hair, on the small of my back, grazing over my waist. Whatever we could have had had been taken away by the Capitol in an instant. Maybe we could've been happy together. Starving, hopeless, but still happy.
I needed to know what could have been, even if it was only for a moment.
My hands tugged desperately at the waist of his pants, and Gale separated from our kiss immediately, searching my face with questioning eyes.
"Please," I told him, my lips finding the pulse of his strong neck. "Just...please."
His belt was undone in a matter of seconds, his pants pushed down to his thighs and my dress hiked up high on my hips as our bodies fitted together. There was a painful whimper on my part followed by a longing moan. His strong hands supported me and my legs wrapped around his waist as his hips bucked hastily between my thighs. Soon the Peacekeepers would be dragging him away—out of my life, never to be seen again—before sending me off to the Capitol to prepare me for slaughter.
Gale choked out a moan that could have easily been deciphered as a half-sob. I stifled a gasp as he came hard inside of me, both of us breathing loudly and shaking. His steel gray eyes were filled with sadness, and a lone tear managed to form in the corner of his eye as he slowly lowered me back to the floor. I was still trembling as he did up his pants before helping me pull the wrinkles out of my skirt. He held my face in his scarred and calloused hands as he pressed his forehead against my own, and we both relished in our last seconds together. Then the Peacekeepers were there, tugging him from the room and out of my grasp.
"Remember, Katniss. I-"
And then he was gone.
And I never did find out what he had to say.