Your name is John Egbert and you happen to be the biggest prankster in the whole world. Though most fail to see the beauty of it and find them annoying, you can't help but laugh hysterically at all the funny things you do. For example, you just witness your roommate get drenched in water as he walked through the door. Sad to say, he didn't find it as funny as you did.
"YOU FUCKASS IDIOT. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU FUCKING DO THAT?! YOU EVEN FUCKING RUINED THE FUCKING CARPET YOU FUCKTARD!" Even if he was yelling, you couldn't help but laugh hysterically at him. He was drenched, shoulders tensed up and hands in fist. You know at any moment that he could pound you into a pulp, but you just dont seem to care because that was so freaking funny.
You try to down the laughter, gasping to regain your breathing, "I'm sorry Karkat but that was funny! The carpet will be fiiiine!" you say in between gasp of ragid air. He growls, curses under his breathe and goes to his side of the room. You watch him with giggles flowing from your lips. He just growls, still uttering curses about 'how fucking stupid you are' and disgards his shirt, followed by his pants. His black hair that was normally messy and stuck up was now falling around his face. Black bangs over his eyes as he desperatly tried to sweep them out of his face.
Did you mention you also sorta kinda have a crush on this guy? Sure he was a douche and he cussed a lot more then a normal person should and he also had anger problems- Where were you going with this? Oh yeah, your crush for this awkwardly mean man. You know it would be awkward to date him, because if things didn't work out then the room would eventually become a room of stress and awkward silences. Plus, he was a really good friend, like a best bro you guess.
Still, staring at him right now, it took you all the will power not to say anything to him. As far as you were aware, he liked girls, so saying something would definitly get you a one way ticket to joke central and bully bulovard. "Hey, fuck face what're you staring at?!" he hissed out, throwing a shirt over his head and slipping it down his pale and lithe body. Blinking back to reality, you grin, buck teeth showing and all.
"Nothing!" your voice is a bit to chirpy, almost strained and he must've realized because his eyes narrowed in slight curiousty. To ease his curious mind you continue, "I was just thinking, shesh Karkat!" you laugh and move towards your bed, falling stomach first and nuzzling your head into your pillow.
He huffs at you, shuffling around to put on some fresh underwear because well...they were wet to. Heheheh, oops! You take a small peek just in time to see him shimming out of them. You flush and close your eyes, shoving your face so far into the pillow you swear you can feel the bed.
You heard your crushes bed squeek and you take that as a que to look up. He seemed a bit bothered by something and that kind of bothers you, "What's up Karkat? You look to deep in thought for yourself." you muse out. His brows furrow together and he simply flips you off, making you laugh happily and turn to lay on your back.
"Hey, fuck ass can I ask you a serious question?" huh, that was a bit weird. You sit up and nod, leaning back onto the wall; uncomforable. "So...My friend is kind of in a predicament," he fidgets a bit, making you raise a brow in curiousty but you don't interupt him. "Like...He likes this person but the person he likes kind of likes someone else...But my friend has someone who also likes him," his brows knit together some more and his lips turn into a frown, "But he doesnt like the person who likes him like that." he mutters a bit.
You open your mouth to respond, but he keeps going, "And said person who likes my friend wants to meet up. Shit, like what the fuck is he supposed to do?" he looks up at you, genuily confused and probably frustrated. "Should he tell the person he likes that he likes him? Or should he try it out with the guy that likes him?" he asked with pure and utter confusion.
You take a deep breathe and lean forward, legs criss-crossed, elbows on knees, "Well, it would be easier for you to tell me who these people are." you kind of think this has something to do with Karkat because he looks really upset and why should he be upset with something if it's his 'friend'. Yeah, you're not stupid!
"Fuck you, no."
"Karkat! I can't do anything if you don't tell me." he growls in frustration and fidgets a bit more, contemplating if he should tell you or not. He takes a deep breathe and finally tells you.
"Fine, but if you fucking ever tell anyone, i'll rape your ass with a machete so far up you'll taste it coming out of your fucking pathetic mouth." that sends shivers of fear down your spin but you nod, "Well...Err, you see I-" he cruses and frowns, "Fuck, okay. I like Gamzee, but that fucking clown likes someone else and I know because he always says he's going to get lucky with this one guy but then he never does," he takes a deep breathe, "But fucking Sollux says he kind of likes me so like shit, I have no clue what to do. Because I don't like Sollux like that and Gamzee's a good friend so I guess I wouldn't want to hurt him." you kind of frown at the little predicament that your dear crush has gotton himself into. You have to admit, you feel your heart break a bit at the fact that he already liked someone and you probably had no chance. That and well, you didn't know he wasnt straight so knowing you could've made your move kind of stings as well.
Oh well, things happen, huh? "Well, if you don't want to hurt Gamzee, then you can try it out with Sollux..." you mutter and he frowns. "Or, you can try it with someone else." yep, you're going to do it. You're going to try and get Karkat with you today. It's going to happen because you're going to presuade him. Wait, who are you kidding? He wont like you.
"Someone else?" he questions with knitted brows. You nod a bit slowly, laughing a bit nervously.
"Yeah! You know, maybe to get Sollux off your back or something." you mutter again, biting your bottom lip with your buck teeth. "I mean, i'm-" you sort of stop, trying to figure out how you should word it. "I can help. We can pretend to date or something." oh man this was going to go bad. You close your eyes, half expected to be yelled at, but you were definitly not expecting this.
"Okay." you look up, eyes opened and wide. Did he just say-
"Huh?" He rolls his eyes and growls a bit.
"I said okay Egbert." he hisses out, making you grin a bit. "But if we're doing this, you better put your all into it because half-assed preformences from someone will get Sollux on my dick 24/7." his voice was warning, making you nod. You stand up, walk over and bend down a bit. He stares at you for a bit, not angry but a bit confused. You then go for it; leaning down, you put your lips on his. He jumps a bit, moving back but doesn't exactly move back. You're surprised to actually feel him pushing his lips back onto yours.
You pulled back with a dorky smile on your lips, him having a slightly upset but not a completely angry look. He also had a small, faint blush coating his cheeks. It looked cute on him honestly. "Idiot." he slightly bit out, crossing his arms over his chest. So maybe everything will go better then expected, that was a good sign.
Laughing happily you go back to your side of the bed and flip your computer open, leaving your new boyfriend on his bed with a flustered and angry expression. He's probably just mad because you got a kiss from and he liked it. "So...Are we for real or...Just fake?" you're kind of curious because if he kissed back, that means he has to have some type of feelings for you, right?
He shifts on his bed, paying attention to his computer (you're not sure when he even got it honestly), "I guess," he pauses in thought, his brows furrowing. "For real, then." he states with a shrug. You're obviously surprised by that because you feel your stomach do flips in excitment.
"Awesome." it was an absently muttered responce, but it made him blush nontheless. Again, you find that extremely cute on his face.
You were passive when school started. Afraid and worried. Scare that people would hate you. But now, you figure that things couldn't get better then this. You're on cloud nine now.
Wow, haha, dunno if that was good or bad. So reveiws please? Just so you know, this is just the BEGINNING of the story. So no, it wont be a KarJohn story. It's JohnDave, but you know, excited to have multiple problems happening.
So I hope everyone enjoyed it! Again reveiw please? I really hope it was alright and i'm sorry for any out of characterness, hehehe.
I'll try to post at least three or four times a week, if not, then you can expect a make-up chapter.
So, there is more to come! Thank you for reading.